| stuff |
[28 Jul 2003|05:18pm] |
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helllo ppl...im rele bored.thats why im updating my journal. lalalala talkin to rocksie and shannon...such wonderful ppl. lalalalala. vacation was ok. the best nite was prolly when we were down on the beach at 1am..that was fun...and so was jolly rogers...and..and..the boardwalk. yup. good times. anyway,lalalalalla.crap, i gotta go. i'll write more later.
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| another nice song |
[17 Jul 2003|12:30pm] |
my shattered dreams and broken heart
are mending on the shelf
i saw you, holding hands
standing close to someone else
now i sit, all alone
wishing all my feeling was gone
i gave my best to you
nothing for me to do
but have one last cry, one last cry
before i leave it all behind
i gotta out you out of my mind this time
stop living a lie
i guess im down to my last cry
i was here, you were there
guess we nevercould agree
while th sun shines on you
i need some love to rain on me
still i sit all alone
wishing all my feeling was gone
gotta get over you
nothing for me to do
but have one last cry, one last cry
before i leave it all behind
i gotta put you out of mymind this time
stop living a lie
i know i've got to be strong
cuz right when life goes on and on
its gone
im gonna dry my eyes
right after i have my one last cry,
one last cry
before i leave it all behind
im gonna put you out of my mind
for the very last time
been living a lie
i guess im down,
i guess im down
i guess i down
to my last cry...
just to let every1 kno, im not puttin this in here for any reason. i like the song.
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| to rele love a woman.. |
[16 Jul 2003|08:12pm] |
to rele love a woman, to understand her
ya gotta kno her deep inside
hear every thought,see every dream
and give her wings when she wants to fly
then when u find urself lying helpless in her arms
you kno u rele love a woman
when u love a woman u tell her shes rele wanted
when u love a woman you tell her that shes the one
cuz she needs sumbody to tell her that its gonna last forever
so tell me have u ever rele, rele rele ever loved a woman
to rele love a woman,let her hold ya
till ya kno how she needs to be touched
ya gotta breathe her, rele taste her
till u can feel her, in ur blood
when u can see ur unborn children in her eyes
u kno u rele love a woman
when u love a woman u tell her shes rele wanted
when u love a woman you tell her that shes the one
cuz shes needs somebody, to tell her that you'll always be together
so tell me have u ever rele, rele rele ever loved a woman
ohh ya got to give her some faith
hold her tight, a little tenderness
gotta treat her right
she will be there for you
taking good care of you
u rele gotta love ur woman,yea
and when u find urself lying helpless in her arms
you kno u rele love a woman
when u love a woman, u tell her that shes rele wanted
when u love a woman u tell her that shes the one
cuz she needs somebody to tell her that its gonna last forever
so tell me have u ever, rele rele ever loved a woman
just tell me have u ever rele, rele rele ever loved a woman
just tell me have u ever rele, rele rele ever loved a woman
such a nice song
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| stand by me! |
[16 Jul 2003|05:44pm] |
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guess wut..im listenin to 'stand by me'. its a stupendous song..wow i havent used that word in a long time.that shows you excatly how bored i am.i havent rele done anything today except eat, talk, and clean. yup i cleaned up my room and the office. i didnt rele want to but i did it anyway. now that rele shows you i was bored.i wanna go to the mall but i doubt im gonna go till friday..well thats ok cuz if i go friday then that means mandi and carol will be there to, cuz mandi is pickin carol up at 12 then shes gonna stay here friday nite and were leavin saturday mornin around 10 i guess. yup. lol last time we were all together and she stayed here it was the day before mandis party. we were up allllll nite. it was so much fun. then the next day was the party then mandi and carol decided to stay again. lalalalalalalalala im bored. i cant wait till were at the beach. its gonna be a lotta ppl there...lets see, its me,allen,my mom,my dad,mandi,harry,my auntie,carol,donnie,vicki,chase,kira,troy,carrie,and jack. but troy,carries,and jack are only staying for a couple days..then i think when they leave shelly is comin so that should be awesome. i just hope donnie and harry dont act like huge assholes like usual. aiight well im gonna go see hoo's online. peace
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| bored |
[15 Jul 2003|11:16am] |
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mood |
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blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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if your not the one-daniel beddingfield |
] |
just woke up like 15 mins ago...soo frickin bored..im just kinda sittin here listening to music..not rele happy music..but music..is "i dont wanna miss a thing" a happy song?? hmm...something to ponder.i need to get away..i cant wait till saturday..me,carol,mandi,and allen hanging on the beach..i think i rele need that ryte now..im so glad that carol is coming to the beach..last year was sooo much fun and i hope this year is gonna be better...except for that fact that donnie and harry are gonna be there, being grandpas...fags. donnies only nice to us sometimes so w.e. hes not gonna ruin my vacation.but yea anyway, dj rican, carol, allen, and me....that only equals an awesome time. lol i remember last year when we were in that place( i 4got how to spell it) but u drive through and there are wild ponies and shit and then the cop pulled us over and we (the 4 of us) were all in the back of the expedition on the floor..lol carol was soo scared it was hilarious..thankfully the cop was dumb and didnt look in and see us..if he did we probably would of been screwed..ok i was happy for a couple mins, now im sad again...'if your not the one' just came on...yea...its fits my situation too well..i hate this...i miss her soo much. im just gonna go...bye
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| yea.... |
[14 Jul 2003|10:28pm] |
if youre not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
if youre not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
if you are not mine then why does your heart return my calls?
if you are not mine would i have the strength to stand at all?
i never kno what the future brings
but i kno your here with me now
we'll make it through
and i hope you are the only one i share my life with
i dont wanna run away but i cant take it, i dont understand
if im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am?
is there anyway that i can stay in your arms?
if i dont need you then why am i crying on my bed?
if i dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
if your not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
if your not for me then why do i dream of you as my wife
i dont know why your so far away
but i know that this much is true
we'll make it through
and i hope you are the one i share my life with
and i wish that you could be the one i die with
and im praying you're the one i build my home with
i hope i love you all my life
i dont wanna run away but i cant take it, i dont understand
if im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am?
is there anyway that i can stay in your arms?
'cuz i miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
and i breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'cuz i love you,whether its wrong or right
and though i cant be with you tonight
you know my heart is by your side
i dont wanna run away but i cant take it, i dont understand
if im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am?
is there anyway that i can stay in your arms?
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| yea.. |
[14 Jul 2003|04:53pm] |
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music |
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goodbye-jagged egde |
] |
im no sure what hurts the most...not having her here and not being able to see her, or just being friends with her....it hurt soo much, and it still does...i cant describe it.
sometimes, what may be the best thing for you to do
sometimes thats the hardest thing for you to do
and that, thats real
cuz i know i love you, i know how i feel about you
but i also know, that dont make everything alright
and for that reason, i gotta say goodbye
tell me have you ever been in a situation
where the best thing you can do, was the hardest thing you've ever done
but you try to do, whats right
and i know deep down inside, that i rele wanna be their by yourside
but i cant stand to see you cry
not when its because of me yea
when its over, i'll never love another
im always thinkin of her
im doing because of her
dont wanna say goodbye
i dont wanna let her see me cry
lookin out da window, wondering why
did we have to say all those things, that we said last night
baby i dont wanna say goodbye, so im just standing here wondering why
just dont like to see when you cry, so imma say goodbye...
wut if you dont wanna say goodbye
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| shes gone.. |
[12 Jul 2003|12:33pm] |
the plane leaves at 2.....i just talked to her agen..im so frickin sad..i just need sum1 to talk to ryte now..theres not much to say tho..i cant even describe how it feels ryte about now..i'll never forget her..that could never happen..yesterday, was magical. just, i dont kno, i cant explain it. heres the convo from a few mins ago..
deVuLisHuzkiSses: swtie
Auto response from l00k itS riChiE: it easier to run
replacing all the pain with something n u m b
its so much easier to go
then face all this pain here all a l o n e
l00k itS riChiE: hi baby
deVuLisHuzkiSses: wuts up?
deVuLisHuzkiSses: im gonna leave soon
deVuLisHuzkiSses: *leaving on a jet plane*
l00k itS riChiE: nm
l00k itS riChiE: what time do u leave?
deVuLisHuzkiSses: we're leavin at 12:30
deVuLisHuzkiSses: my plane doesnt leave until 2 but yea
deVuLisHuzkiSses: i miss u
deVuLisHuzkiSses: sorry bout yesterday
l00k itS riChiE: i miss u to
l00k itS riChiE: yesterday, i was soo happy just to be with you, but then it was soo hard to say goodbye
deVuLisHuzkiSses: yea i was happy 2 b with u too
deVuLisHuzkiSses: sorry im a bad kisser >.< it was my first time
l00k itS riChiE: i didnt think u were bad so dont worry bout it
deVuLisHuzkiSses: ok :-)
deVuLisHuzkiSses: u'd b too swt to say anything about it anyways
l00k itS riChiE: and plus, theres nothin bad to say
deVuLisHuzkiSses: ok
deVuLisHuzkiSses: i wish i could juss b in ur arms again
l00k itS riChiE: id give anything to have that
l00k itS riChiE: i miss u soo much
deVuLisHuzkiSses: well baby i gotta go
deVuLisHuzkiSses: i miss u too
deVuLisHuzkiSses: i luv u sooo much
l00k itS riChiE: i luv u sooooooooo much too
deVuLisHuzkiSses: bye baby *mwah*
deVuLisHuzkiSses: *xoxoxo*
l00k itS riChiE: dont forget me
deVuLisHuzkiSses: i never could
deVuLisHuzkiSses: remember 012
deVuLisHuzkiSses: it means forever in korean
deVuLisHuzkiSses signed off at 12:29:07 PM.
yea... im out
deVuLisHuzkiSses: i wish i could juss b in ur arms again
i wuld give anything for that ryte now...
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| i miss her... |
[11 Jul 2003|05:25pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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still on my brain-jt |
] |
so today...wow good day but a rele sad day too...i finally did get to see janet again. went to rebeccas then we walked to hanhs cuz becca had to get sumthyn..then we walked to the park and just hung out there. yea..it was a good time. rebecca was just kinda there, and i felt kinda bad but eh its ok. cant rele write about it in here, but yea. we just kinda chilled on the bench and other stuff, and becca just sat there on the playground. then she came bak over to the bench and we talked and everything. then it was time to say goodbye..yea we werent there very long, about and hour and a half i guess. yea so becca went ahead and started walkin home and me and janet said our goodbyes..i didnt wanna let go..like we said goodbye and everything and then we kinda backed away, but then went bak and hugged and kissed and everything agen..=(. and then that happened like one more time, then i actually had to let her go. goodbye is the hardest word ever..and then hearing her say "dont forget about me"..it rele got to me. yea i was kinda teary but yea anyway.i walked to hanhs and just talked to her for about two mins then went home.yea...
"beautiful days are long gone,i cant seem to breathe. feels like it hasnt been that long since u walked away from me. now i can try to act real strong, but u and i both kno i still think of u that way."
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| just woke up.. |
[10 Jul 2003|12:35pm] |
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mood |
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determined |
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music |
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in those jeans-ginuwine |
] |
ahh im so fucken tired nd i just woke up...i didnt rele stay up late tho..i spent most of the nite watchin boy meets world(gotta love dat show) and smart guy...and uh crap, what other show was on? o well..im rele bored and im missin janet..saturday is only 2 days away..i hate that..god i dont wanna think about it..all i wanna think about is seein her on friday and spenin as much time as possible with her....nd then the whole other situation...only denise knows bout that..its still on my mind..sumthyn was suppose to happen yesterday about it..she was suppose to come over here and mandi was suppose to talk to her and everything...ok nobody is rele gonna follow that cept denise so yea..it is fuckin stupid and retarded..ok lets see what else has happened..yea everything is fine bout that party and everything which im soo happy about..anyway today im probably just gonna sit around unless sum1 calls me, but i doubt i'll go nywhere b/c i wanna spend most of tomorrow with janet..aiight im gonna go get sum food. i'll write sum more later.peace
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| fuck... |
[09 Jul 2003|12:15pm] |
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yea...last nite was kt linds kristen and ericas party..it was ok..but...shit...yea..fuuuuck. i think i fucked up..im gonna find out today..and just, dont ask.its just..fucked and its my fault.jghugbbhigjk fuck.saturday is comin quick..and i just dont kno wuts gonna happen..i dont even kno if its gonna last till saturday cuz of me. i hope everything is starightened out..i'll write sum more later, maybe.
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| movies |
[05 Jul 2003|06:06pm] |
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music |
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i want you- thalia and fat joe |
] |
got up around..10 i think..ugh sumthyn like that and got online a lil later na becca asked if i wanted to go to the movies..so i went with janet,reb,hanh,mandi,ricky,david,ryan,and davis to see legally blonde 2. so when i got dere of course i sat next to janet then ricky asked me when i was gonna do it, so i asked her then. she said yea..yay! so yea then we watched the movie and it was kinda stupid but a few funny parts in it. i wasnt rele interested. yea so after the movie was over we stood in the lobby for about 15 mins or so and just talked then took reb and janet home=( and then hanh..now im just sittin here being rele bored cuz we couldnt go to the damn mall for sum reason. o well...ok well i dunno wut else to write so im out.
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| movies..and stuff |
[02 Jul 2003|05:37pm] |
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iight heres the deal..last nite me,mandi,allen,hanh,janet,becca,wuroh,ricky,david,kristen,and michelle went to the movies to see charlies angels..wen i got there i sat on the end then i got up and becca told me to sit next to janet so i did...which i had no problem with since im already crushin on her..so yea i sat down and she told me i smelled good so i felt loved..lol yea anyway the movie sucked ass..like in the middle david went to the br and didnt come bak for like 30 mins so me and ricky called him and he said he was in 2 fast 2 furious so we went and sat in there for a minute and talked bout..im sure u kno who. yea well anyway the movie sucked. so then we left and took hanh home then i came home and couldnt get her outta my head so me and ricky called becca at like 10:30 to talk to janet but she said she'd call bak today. so today when i was at rips(a restaurant) she called bak but i couldnt talk cuz i was with my g-mother and mom and yea..so when i finally got home me and ricky called there and talked to reb for like 10 mins b4 we talked to janet.she told me i should go out w/ her even tho she will only be here for another 2 weeks..idk its summer. im gonna have fun. i rele like her tho. lifes good=)
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| my weekend.. |
[23 Jun 2003|07:12pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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hand me down-matchbox 20(i love this song) |
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so my weekend was ok...on saturday i cleaned up the house sum...wut a suprise. then around 7 i went to the mall and met up with the jew crew(eh,well 2/3 jews) lol but yea, ricky and daivd told me im a huge prep b/c i returned a shirt to aeropostale b/c it had a tiny hole in it..oooo well. i got my cinabon so i was happy bout that. then we walked around to champs,finish line,and foot locker cuz david was buying sum new shoes(he got da new k-swiss) yea but anyway i left around 9...then on sunday i got a new cell..yes another new one..this one is like a champagne color and its got the color screen and internet and downloadable tones and games and its off the hook..pretty phat..anyway..after i got home..around 6:30 hanh called me and asked if i wanted to go to the movies so i went with her,kathy,becca,and janet and we saw "dumb and dumber'er" it was pretty gay. "chicks are for fags, look how short that skirt is, wheres the flood?" then we took hanh home and i went in and she let me borrow just married,the hot chick,and minority report..just married is hilarious..ok so last nite i couldnt sleep at all...tossing and turning alllllll nite long..i was miserable..my throat was already hurting at the movies but i wanted to go anyway...so then i got up round 6:30 and i felt like i was gonna barf..but i didnt..then again around 8:30 i was bout to take a shower so that i could go to the doc's to get better but i felt like that agen..god it was bad..yea anyway, i have bronchitis..or however its spelled...i feel rele bad..i had plans today too but of course being sick ruined those..o well..ok i think im gonna go lay down..i'll write more later if i dont die first..later
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| last nite |
[21 Jun 2003|11:27am] |
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music |
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hand me down-matchbox 20 |
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hanhs party was pretty good...lots of ppl there..like around 30. i got there round 4:45 and had to kinda sit there while hanh becca and kiki finished gettin ready...not fun to be there with alll girls gettin dressed and shit.anyway, then i helped tin bring in the stuff for the music..anyway once everybody got there we kinda just all talked and danced a lil bit..in the beginning it was kinda boring but it was ok...haha me and david raped nicole in the bathroom and made the mirror all foggy..lol good times.anyway then we started playing spin the bottle...i kissed...kt rica(like 5 times) hanh alex nicole maria kiki rebecca and i think thats it...o yea...DAVID!! lol haha. yea the party was good..sum things were rele fucked up tho..coughtjcough i hate that fucker..im not even gonna write bout it in here tho...i hope he rotts in hell tho...lala i love this song..i rele need to buy the matchbox 20 cd today..i kno me and ricky are def gonna chill later, i dunno what were gonna do tho.ok im out now cuz i have a headache
"so lay all your troubles down..i am with you now"
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| today sucked |
[17 Jun 2003|04:43pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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because you loved me-celine dion |
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ok so today was the picnic...well guess wut..it sucked ass. the only thing i rele did was just kinda walk around and talk to sum ppl...it was pretty boring since it was all muddy and shit..yea it sucked. then when we get bak to school i was talkin to roxie shannon and eric..and i see..his arm around her...so i ask wuroh if they go out...yup..they do...guess wut..he doesnt deserve her..o well.thats all im gonna say bout that...on to sumthyn else...denise buddy..who i probably wont get to see a lot after school end since shes leaving...tear.i cant believe it..im gettin soo sad now i dont even wanna type anymore..i'll write sum later...maybe.
you were strength when i was weak
you were my voice when i couldnt speak
you were my eyes when i couldnt see
you saw the best there was in me
lifted me up when i coudnt reach
you gave me faith cuz you believe
im everything i am..because you loved me
i love you denise buddy!!!!!!!
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| still on my brain |
[16 Jun 2003|06:50pm] |
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music |
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still on my brain-jt |
] |
"now i could say that i dont love you no more, and i could say that ive closed the door for our love,nd i could tell you i feel that its time to go our seperate ways, but baby i just wouldnt be the same cuz girl your love is still on my brain. now when your in love it takes time to heal, when someones broken your heart it changes how you feel, girl i, thought that youd never do me that way, but even after all i still think of you that way"
neway, today was pretty good...yea...i was listenin to that song and i felt like puttin it in here...i dont rele know what to write!!! the picnic is tomorrow..i cant wait, but its gonna be like 64 degrees..which sucks ass...and its suppose to rain...god damnit..o well...im gonna run in the rain...aight im out
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| dance |
[14 Jun 2003|02:34pm] |
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last nite was the eighth grade dance...i got dere around 5:50 i guess so i was one of the first ppl to get in...it looked soo amazing inside..it was awesome. b4 the dancing started, they showed a slide show made up of pictures from the whole year..it was pretty cool..i was in 2 pics so i was happy bout that..then, the parents left(not mine tho cuz they chaperoned) but then the fun started!! every1 was dancing the whole nite..the music was good, every1 was havin a great time. they only played one slow song('crazy' by kci and jojo) and i danced with katie which was one of da best parts of da nite..i cant even list everybody i danced with..it was a lot of ppl.i had the best time ever..i cant believe its almost over. im gonna try to have a rele rele good time on tuesday at the picnic.im goin out later to the mall then 2 see '2 fast 2 furious' after that with amanda,carol,allen,david and ricky i think...hanh mite be able to go so yea...fun! if any1 else wants to go just let me kno.
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| hi |
[12 Jun 2003|08:13pm] |
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hi
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| could it be....14 shades of gray |
[12 Jun 2003|07:25pm] |
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music |
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could it be-staind(i got the new cd...its awesome) |
] |
Well i don't know what to say
Because there's truth to what you say
I know it kills you i'm this way
There's something different every day
Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that im only being me?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place and hide?
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Not easy living in my mind
A little peace is hard to find
My every thought is undermined
By all the history inside
Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that im only being me?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place and hide?
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
I know i hear the words you said
Over and over again
I just can't get them through my head
There's just too many voices
Must be like living with the dead
Waiting for me to begin
To do the things that i have said
And for this i'm sorry
So there's some truth to what you say
Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that im only being me?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place and hide?
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
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