| Whew haven't updated in a while. | ||||
| 08:20am 26/10/2003 | ||||
Let me start with Friday. I went to work right after school. At work, this strange old man with a wart on his chin came in and asked me if I knew where he could find a Chucky Cheese? I told him there was one at the Loop and then gave him directions. -sniff- he smelled like a mixture of old Sandines and Liverworst. Right. I got home and called Christine, becuase everyone was supposed to come up to my house and spend the night. I live in east ass, though, so they told me that they were going to Olivia's for the night. I drove down later on -everyone had been there- and went over to Livis. Mike, Chantal, Christine, Olivia, and Johnny were there. We stayed at her house for about four minutes, then randomly drove to a parking lot and sat in Chantals car blasting PTW and such. I had no cigarettes on me so Chantal was nice enough to lend me a few. -kind soul-. After a half hour or so, Johnny had to leave. Then Chantal had to leave becuase she lives in Boxford. She took Mike home, and Christine, Liv, and Myself stayed at Olivias until late that night. Good talk. Very Very good talk. *V*, hmm? Last night was cool, too. Nads and Samantha picked me up at 6 Oclock. We stopped at a gas station to get gum and cigarettes and then went down to pick up Olivia. After picking up the 'oh so polish one' we decided to go into Boston. We talked to Mike and Johnny periodically during the night, and we were going to meet up with them after we ate, but they left us to go smoke. -cries-. Anyhoo, in Boston, we ate at Hooters. I got hit on by this new hot waitress. I was outside smoking while my friends finished up their food and payed the bill, and she walks out and starts talking to me. Then, after we were finished, Olivia and I went into the bathroom and she was there. She said : *points to me* You should work here. *goes into conversation about age, and skinnyness*. While we were eating Sam and Nads keep saying how I have boobs and a pretty face. That made me feel so special, thats really the first time in a LONG time that anyone has said something nice to me like that. <3 you girls. HAH, I should tell Ron about new waitress girl wanting my ass. After Hooters, the four of us were driving to the Rez to meet the boys, and we got a call from Mike and Johnny. They were in Saugus? allright. So we decided that there was no way we could go to Saugus , yada yada yada. We then went to the Loop to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Nadia is 17, so she bought the three tickets. -random inspiration- BIRTHDAY ON TUESDAY! who'se? MINE, damnit!. Livi had no money becuase, well, she's Polish, I don't know. weeeee. So she and I sat outside and I smoked another buttskiola. We had to sneak in Liv... So I went in and gave Sam my ticket stub. She went and got her and all was dandy. The movie kicked serious ass. Really good. Now, Im home, and I woke up early. So, does anyone want to hang out today? Katie M, I will kill you if you don't call me. I called you when I got home last night and there was no answer. This can only mean one thing: You want payback. wahahah. -evil-. yes. I must go eat breakfast, if we have any. Katie |
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jubilant| Best and Worst day of my life. | ||||
| 09:27pm 21/10/2003 | ||||
This day was both great and horrible all in one heaping pile of shit. I got to school all ready to take my SATs and I got sent down to Ms. Gannon by this asshole teacher who said my shirt was too tight. Alright, whatever you say, ms. Gannon didn't even care. She told me it wasnt that bad at all and that she would write me a pass. I did really well on the SATs, too. We got out of school and I hopped in Christines car with Olivia. We went to Burger King and listened to the cutest mix by John Dowling. He wrote her the sweetest note in it. Anyhoo. Allison and Myself didnt eat at Burger King, and stood outside smoking cigarettes. We talked about the hot people in our school, and then Katie McHendry walked out. "whoa!" speak of the devil. I gave her a hug and I think her mom saw us smoking. *shrug* oh well. Then Megan and Nadia came out and said goodbye to us before they left with Holly. Then, Olivia and I proceeded to follow Johnny and everyone else to this quarry. Yeah, yada yada yada, Johnny fishbowled his car? And a cop came. Everyone was saying he was cool... but he kinda made a big deal out of nothing. He thought we were just trespassing.(spelling?). I couldn't breath. Just as I saw them take a hit in the car in front of us... he rolled up. They fucking fishbowled the thing, its a miracle that he had no idea what was going on! Christine. I hail you. You kick major ass at talking to cops. Plus, you didn't get in trouble for it and neither did Olivia... therefore, I think of this day as a truly stupid decision, but one to look back on and remember for a long time. Why didnt we just go to the rez? ...Christine, Olivia, Nihan, and I left the quarry becuase he let us go. We thought he was going to arrest our friends, so we were all panic struck. Dropped off Nihan, and Christine and I went into Olivia's house so she could shave. None of us could think of anything else no matter how hard we tried. Then, Christine had a x-country meet in Framingham... so I just stayed at school. Holly and Megan heard what happened, and came to get me at 3 30. I went back to Meaghans house. Holly and I smoked a couple cigarettes because of the trauma we had been through. I called my mom and told her how we had just met them there and a cop got mad becuase we were trespassing. Just incase he called, which he didn't. I think I had 3 Ice coffee's today, between before school, after, and with Holly and Meaghan. At the Dunkin Donuts, Holly and Megans friend was working. He was WicKeD hot. -doesn't really care, just had to add that-. After play practice, I got in the car and told her that if anyone called, it was my fault Christine and Olivia were there. I told her I wanted to meet up with Allison, and made Christine drive me. I didn't get in trouble for it, really, just a few slaps... and It would've probably helped if their parents or the police had called. But they didnt. So all of us were lucky. He told us how he shouldve taken us to jail. I felt especially badly for Olivia and Christine. Liv has been hanging with us almost all year, so I think she's rather used to everyone's ways. But poor Christine. I just wanted to hug her. The first time she hangs out with all my friends and look what happens. That was a stupid place to be anyways. Things like that DO NOT generally happen to us, so Please, don't stop hanging out with us becuase of the misfortune of one day. I value your friendship too much, and If you like.. I'll even stop smoking the Parliament Light 100's around you. -smile-. THEN.. I get in the car and I find out that my grandfather broke his leg and arm. They gave him these hardcore old people pain killers. And, he can't drive. I am officially and illegally his cheuffer for the next 2 months. Heh. Wow. Thats all. Wow. |
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morose| this one quiz. | ||||
| 08:56pm 20/10/2003 | ||||
Time Now: 8 56 PM Name: Katie. Gender: Female Siblings: None. Pets: Two dogs. A golden retriever :Daisey and A soon to be gone Annie, who Is a Saint Bernard Grade: 11 Residence: Haverhill? B/F or G/F: mhm... Friends: Jesus christ.... Olivia, Allison, Meaghan, Sam, Megan, Nadia, Jaqui, Christine, Jules, Lauren, Andrea, Sam Farah, Alley, Katie M, Heather, Steph, Kelly, Lindsey, Mike, johnny, quinney, All those boys and girls'. A Lil More Personal Hair Color: Brown with Stop Sign Red and Blonde streaks Eye Color: Green/Yellow/Hazel... they change Weight: Im fucking gigantic as a trash barrel with oprah sitting in it. heh. ;) Height: 4'11''... eat me. Nationality: 75% Hungarian, and a bunch of other things like Albanian Are You A Virgin: No, I am not. How Far Have You Gone: Im not a virgin? How Many B/F's or G/F's Have You Had: I only count 1, the only good one. How Many People Have You Hooked Up With: Wow. back when I was a uber-slut, like... 6? *ahem* Have You Ever Hooked Up With Random People: Yes. A long time ago. Have You Ever Done Anything With The Same Sex: Oh, that's the Golden question now isn't it? HAH... ask me If you want to know, fuckers. Grow some balls. Sex Questions Have You Ever Been Kissed/Kissed Someone: Im not a virgin? Have You Ever Given/Received Oral Sex: .....-repeat above- How Many Times Have You Had Sex: Oh, no. Not going there. Girl Or Guy On Top: It would be cool if there was a girl on top and girl on bottom option. I'd laugh at that. Uhm... No preference? Do You Masterbate: Yes. Have You Ever Been Fingered/Got A Handjob: Im NOT a virgin. Therefore, one might figure that I have done all these things. Favorites Food: Pizza or Grapenut Ice cream with Rainbow sprinkles. Color: I really like Black. Either that or Magenta. I always think of Blues Clues. Number: .5 Age: favorite age? Id like to stay 23 forever. Not quite mid- twenties, not quite college kid. State: Well, I'd like to be in Florida right now... But I really like New York City, so im gonna have to say New York. Month: October. And not just becuase of my birthday. It smells like burning autumn leaves. ...Plus, Halloween rocks. Day Of Week: Believe it or not, I like Thursdays becuase I dont have to work, and It's close to the end of the week. Place To Be: Either at the rez, or In Nadias car with the girls heading out for a fun night. Sport: I hate swimming. I'd have to say Cancer stick puffing? Guys Name: Kaleb, with a 'K' Girls Name: Deana Animal: I love snakes and Siberian Tigers Sports Team: The Red Sox can officially eat me. I have been a fan now forever, and they let my ass along with 4028372892 other people down every year. The fucking Portland Sea Dogs! there. Clothing Brand: K- mart? Shoe Brand: Doc Martin.... I love the way they look. I used to own a pair I bought in Belgium, but I lost them. Plus, that was in 7th grade. Not too many people to literally measure up to. I need high shoes. Band: Right now? Otep, or Deftones Singer: Brody, but just cuz' shes hot. Book: Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles... Right now I'm reading the only one I havent finished, "the vampire lestat" Movie: KIDS, or requiem for a dream, plus I like Session Nine alot. TV Show: Nip/Tuck Soda: Diet Vanilla PEPSI. Season: Fall. Ice Cream: Grapenut or Moose Tracks Candy: Reeses Gum: Cotton Candy Bubble Yum This Or That Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi Chicken/Beef: Chicken Cat/Dog: Dog, I fucking hate cats and everything that has to do with them TV/Movies: Movies. Books/Magazines: Books Blonde/Brunette: Both on one head with a little purple, orange, green, and red in it! Naw, I usually like Brown hair. Blue/Green: Green. Red/Pink: Red Black/White: Black Basketball/Football: neither Tall/Short: * is this ________________ tall * Have You Ever Drove A Car: MMMMhm. Flew In An Airplane: yes. I travel alot, or used to when we had money. Had Sex: I AM NOT A FUCKING VIRGIN YOU WORTHLESS TWIT. THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU INSULT ME>>> WHY WHY WHYYYYY *fuuuckkkk* Swam With Dolphins: Yep, In Mexico. Gone Skydiving: No. Skinny-Dipped: Many times. Peed Your Pants(besides when you were little): Yes. When I laugh too hard. I peed myself one time when I was over Alainas. *bwahahaha* Had An Alein Encounter: Two weeks ago at the Rez there was a space ship hovering above the cliff we were at. Been Bit By A Dog: Yeah, my old dog Fudge who was this yappy little mutt. Done Drugs: softcore Drank Alcohol: Used to, not anymore. Smoked: I smoke Cigarettes. Friends Best Friend: Gee. Funniest: Johnny Smartest: Nadia or Jax Dumbest: I wouldn't say anyone is dumb. Horniest: Hmm... gosh. Olivia. or maybe Christine? Most Athletic: Not really anyone in my group is athletic. Wait, Jaqui is? Nicest: It's a tie. Everyone. Shyest: Lauren Tallest: Me. (yaaay, no.) Maybe Nadia or Sam? I dont really know. Shortest: Christine or Katie or Myself Most Like You: Allison. Trust me. Get her alone, and we act ALOT alike. Loudest: Sam Always There For You: All my friends. Makes You Laugh The Most: Im gonna have to go with a Big skinny Allison. You want this person the most: Wellll... there's alot of my friends that I think are hot but don't act on for various reasons. The first friend of the same sex you hooked up with, if ever: Deana. heh! <3 Most Musical: Megan is a great singer, Katie is an awesome actress, and All of you love music. so yeah. Most Original: Christine Most huggable: Im small so i need someone big: that would be Johnny. I tend to hug him alot. I hug Katie and Christine probably the most out of my girlfriends simply becuase I cant reach anyone else accurately. Most sexual, and why: Olivia. Everything is sex-oriented. Random "hey, Katie- BOOBS!" Most courteous and genuinely kind: Nadia. I've never seen that girl mad, or seen her turn down any of us in need. Biggest druggy: Mike. and he's proud of it. Hey, Me... Allison.. and Johnny are right up there with yah. Biggest Homosexual tendencies: me and allison. Most Random: Jax maybe? Best looking: You are all beautiful. Your mom would do this friend: Uhm... Probably Gus Spatharos. Funnest to talk to online: Johnny. |
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accomplished| Good day In school | ||||
| 05:01pm 20/10/2003 | ||||
Im horny. Really horny. Its progressivly becoming a problem. I can't get myself off like I used to anymore! Okay, I just remembered that everyone in school will be reading this entry. Ooops. Silly me. Maybe it's the lack of play...-cringes- The day started off with me going in... with my CD player, and sitting in the bathroom. Fun times if you ask me. Then offcourse all my friends arrived and the bathroom party began. (make fun of us if you will, but please...please at least say things I would laugh at too). I went to Bio, and the Canadian gave us notes for about 90189428 hours, while I listened to music. Ignorant fuck didn't even notice. Me and Johnny laughed the whole time. Oh, and I failed the quiz miserably. At activ. I had to to Social homework. I got it done, and walked around with Meaghan and Allison. We went outside to the parking lot to smoke a cigarette and once we got down there Johnny informed the 5 of us that he didn't have his car? Good thinking, princess. Bell Rang. Went to SS, and felt even more bad for Mr. MacKenzie becuase he's so cute and geeky, and today he had the worst B.O in the history of perspiration. Poor thing. Olivia and I passed notes until the end of class. Went to lunch, and then Relighhhon where Gannon showed us a movie. Relatively easy and fun day. After school I went down to wait for my carpool, and Katie M was standing there with Heather. So... Ofcourse I gave them both hugs and sat down. _Katie sits on my lap and tells me she loves me_. It made me happy. Then, I got in the car and went home, only to await the amazing Half-Day tommorow. PSATS rule me. I love the lyrics to this song and how they're so increadably Real. -freak?- So glad to see you well Overcome and completely silent now Without himself You cast your demons out And not to pull your halo down Around your neck and tug you off your cloud But I'm more than just a little curious How you're planning to go about Making your amends to the dead To the dead Recall the deeds as if They're all someone else's Atrocious stories Now you stand reborn before us all So glad to see you well And not to pull your halo down Around your neck and tug you to the ground But I'm more than just a little curious How you're planning to go about Making your amends to the dead To the dead With your halo slipping down Your halo slipping Your halo slipping down Your halo slipping down Your halo slipping down Your halo slipping down to choke you now |
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flirty| like this quiz | ||||
| 02:24pm 19/10/2003 | ||||
 You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal. "And The Phoenix's cycle had reached zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He emerged from his own ashes, to be forever immortal." Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl (Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum (Egyptian). The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life, the number 0, and the element of fire. His sign is the eclipsed sun. As a member of Form 0, you are a determined individual. You tend to keep your sense of optomism, even through tough times and have a positive outlook on most situations. You have a way of looking at going through life as a journey that you can constantly learn from. Phoenixes are the best friends to have because they cheer people up easily. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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indescribable| Good night. Worried post. | ||||
| 09:37am 19/10/2003 | ||||
So... this is how it went. At about 5 30 I went over Sams house to get ready. Megan was there... Sam was there, Olivia was there, and Allison got there later on. We went there to 'get ready' but it was more of a good bonding experiance before the dance. Myself and Sam and Liv went to CVS so we could mix their vodka with Iced tea, and I bought two packs of cigarettes. One for me, one for Allison. I dont drink, but Sam and Olivia mixed them in the CVS parking lot, while I smoked a buttskiola. Then, we met up with Nadia, Megan, Sam and Allison in the Austin parking lot... (parking lot fetish?). And then we went to some RANDOM ass street. They all drank, while once again me and Allison smoked a butt. Hmm, Oh! We stopped at P&S to meet Sams date, Billy. I miss the kid! I haven't seen him in forever. We got back to the dance, and I waited for Mike outside with Allison and her date, Dom. The dance was increadable. Megan was drunk as a joke. Crazy drunk. And everyone just started dancing right away. People I danced with: All my friends, Megan, Sam, Olivia, Nadia, Allison a little becuase Dom doesnt dance, Mike, Johnny (high?), Katie McHendry, Heather, Natalie, ...I talked to nicole?... heh. Julie's boobs were showing all nice-like for the majority of the night. I had to give her a hug just for wearing that shirt. Made me happy. Christine is a really good dancer. I think the best dance of the night, was when me, Allison, Mike, her, and 121213324 other people were in a grinding train.... and we just danced our slut asses off while the sophomore girls watched like :eh?: . Yes, good dance my friends. Afterwards (we left early), I went in Christines car with her so that if she got lost it wouldn't be alone. And.........She lets me smoke in her car! -nicotine craving settles- Honestly, I think we had the best talk I've had in a looong time. I've never really had a serious conversation with her before last night. She's real good to talk to. I didn't wanna get to the Kowloon, I just felt like talking with her all night. But I did wanna get to the Kowloon! .undecisive. Here comes the big part. We got there, met everyone (they had already started to eat, so I was kinda like...fuck the food) except for Allison and Sam. I was really hoping Allison would be there, I had NOO idea she wouldn't. I got mad. Not at her. More that she wasn't going to be there with me at all. Then, I realize 'oh, shit... we can't go back to Sams without Sam!' hmm. It was okay though, I'm sure they had fun at the rez, and as far as I know they got home fine. Call me paranoid, but ever since what happened with Alaina and Allisons parents, I freak out when something is gonna or could go wrong. So I just called my mom and asked if Christine, Sam Farah and I could come back home. It was fine with her, and It wasn't like I was leaving one person. I would've never left if it was just one of us and me going home... but there were 6 of you, so I figured wtf, Im just gonna head home. Sam was needed to drive the remainder of people home once they picked up Allison and Sam S, so she couldn't drive up with us. So Christine and I drove back to my house. We were Sooo hungry. But! We didn't get lost. We kept seeing dead squirrels torn to bits all over the road? Or am I just imagining this? We got to Bradford at about 1, 1 15... and we NEEDED Dunkin Donuts. The guy at the drive thru window had no Idea how to speak the English language, but we got our order just fine so I guess it was a success. When we got home, my mom wasn't mad at all... she was all cheery. Christine had never seen the movie 'kids' so I popped it in. We were so tired we fell asleep half way through the movie. *sigh* I'm so happy that I have her as a friend now. I hope she enjoyed my company as much as I did hers. And even though she used to hate me *weee*, It seems like we have alot in common. Hopefully this can become a cool friendship. *smile* This morning, my mom drove her to 495 from my house... or, rather, she followed my mom. She just called and said she got home fine..yayy. Ok. I have to go back to bed and I can't. If anyone is pissed at me....... whatever. Get over it. So I didn't want to deal with shit last night, and I went home. Who cares? It's not like it affected you people's plans at all. *sigh* Call me if you're having problems with me becuase I'd rather know that when I go into school on Monday Imma get the cold shoulder, than not know. Psh. I don't expect you all to be pissy, you're usually pretty layed back and nonchalant about shit like this. Thats why I loove you. ;) Ok. Enough. I'm going to bed. Much love Mothafockas. Katie |
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stressed| 04:49pm 14/10/2003 | ||||
Smoke?: yes Do drugs?: soft Have sex?: not recently, but whatever... Given oral sex?: yes Received oral sex?: yes Have a dream that keeps coming back?: yes Play an instrument?: guitar and used to play Violin and Drums Believe there is life on other planets?: 38138174817 planets... 1 with intelligent life? Plus... we saw one. Remember your first love? yea Still love him/her?: mhm... Read the newspaper?: yes Have any gay or lesbian friends? yes Believe in miracles?: yes Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes Consider yourself tolerant of others?: yes Consider love a mistake?: no Like the taste of alcohol?: no. I don't drink. Have a favorite candy?: Reeces! Believe in astrology?: sometimes Believe in magic?: yes Believe in god?: uh, no? Have any pets: Dogs Do well in school? FUCK NO! Go to or plan to go to college : why did u ask me that question...? Wear hats?: not really... Have any piercings?: My ears are gauged? Have any tattoos?: not yet Hate yourself?: o gee this is a hard one UH YEA!?!? Have an obsession?: angelina jolie and eliza dushku..... Have a secret crush?: shut up Do they know yet?: shut up again Collect anything?: not really Have a best friend?: yes Close friends?: yes Wish on stars?: no, but they're pretty Like your handwriting?: no Care about looks?: yes, well my looks... I'm actually pretty shallow -works on it- =Love life= First crush: uh? First kiss: uh? Single or attached?: attached? Ever been in love?: mhm Do you believe in love at first sight? no Do you believe in "the one?": yes Describe your ideal significant other: can't. =Juicy stuff= Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: yes Have you ever been intoxicated?: yes Favorite place to be kissed?: neck and lips Have you ever been caught "doing something?": well... not quite.... Are you a tease?: no... shut up fockers... yes. (blow me) Shy to make the first move?: very... =Are you a= Wuss: no Druggy:hmm possibly... Daydreamer: yes Freak: if u say so Dork: yes Bitch/Asshole: at times Brat: at times Sarcastic: all the time Goody-goody: not at all Devil: No, I don't believe in one. Shy: EXTREMELY SHY!!! Talkative: yes Joker: yes Flirty: yes =Word association= Rubber gloves: surgery!! MWAHAHAHAA! Rock: breaks glass... Green: eyes Wet: horny Cry: lonely... Peanut: butterr Hay: Is for Horses Cold: nipply Steamy: shower Fast: Cars Freaky: sex Rain: best place to make out in.. Bite: ME! I BITE ALL THE TIME!! Suck: lollipop Blow: job Hard: cock |
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horny| Happy Post | ||||
| 12:06pm 13/10/2003 | ||||
So, Friday. I got out of school and went to work, made pizzas, and was going to go to the movies, but Steph couldn't. Meh. I came home and fell asleep to Mullholand Drive and popcorn. I think I needed that though, just a night to sit and fall asleep to the TV. I'm really worn out. Anyways, I woke up on saturday, and I talked to Johnny online. I had to bribe the bastard to pick me up with Gas money and directional skills, but that's fine becuase J-to the-Y knows I love his black ass. He and Liv came to get me at 5:30 ish. I stole my mom's gas card out of her wallet, and we went to Mobil to get gas and two packs of cigarettes to supply Alison and myself for the night. We didn't get lost going to Glouchester! I was amazing. Good times in princess, as well. Blasting some poison the well, and other music I'd like to not mention. *meep meep* By the time we got to Allisons, and hour and a half later, Johnny had to pee and I had to change my T-pon. It was so weird being at Allisons house without any parents or Emily home. I felt so much more comfortable, we were running around her parents bathroom and shit. MM. So Nad the Mod arrives in milky, and all three of us ran outside to greet her. I stayed up at the top of the driveway for a lil bit with Oliv, just to let her in on a little special fact. Hmm? I felt bad for Jessica, Allisons little sister. She was sitting in the window watching us leave :(. poor thing. *is over it* Okay, so we had no drug paraphenilia whatsoever. Therefore, Allison informed us that we must go into the center of Glouchester to get some off the other punk kids that hang around there. It worked, after about an hour of sitting around, this kid came over and told us he could get us a dime of imported Afghan Blood for 25 bucks. People, we were desperate. So, yeah, we bought it and Johnmaster went to make the trade in some sketchy parking lot. This was GOOD weed. Imported from afghanistan, high as hell potency. Right. We went to the beach near Allisons house to smoke it. I had a bad headache to begin with, but I was the only one who could roll a J. (backtrack) We bought tobacco at CVS that came with rolling papers, and the motherfucker carded me. Deuch. Doesn't matter, we got them. (F-Forward) So I rolled a joint. They gave us a decently sized bag, too. It was so pretty where we were,too. This is the type of night I'm going to remember when I'm 45 and be like 'ah those were the days'. Olivia, Nadia, Myself, Johnny, and Allison walked into the sand dunes and lit one up. Liv didn't smoke offcourse, but Nadia went craaazy! -so proud of Nod- People kept coming down to were we were. I rolled another one after that, we had just enough left. Princess had sand all over her by the time we were done. Oh, speaking of sand, princess angel honey cunt got stuck in it. We all got out and pushed the car as far as we could... then johnny discovered it was working again. psh. The second we got back in, He christened the Winghaersheak beach parking lot with backwards and frontwards donuts. We were fucked. All of us. I had the WORST headache ever. Maybe it was all the cigarettes I had before? *shrug* I was halfway between completely utterly fucked, and tired as hell. We then travelled what seemed an ETERNITY to get to Dominos. Yes, we went to Dominos. The bitch stole Johnny's 10 dollars and then Nadia had to pay extra. Stupid Glouchester crackwhore. After our pizza and cinnastix were ready... it was back to allisons house. We ate there and then left when the bitch came home... *poor allison*. Nadia drove me home, and I slept the entire way. Sunday. I did absolutely nothing. Went to the mall early in the day, bought a taper and some new plugs... stretched my ears to a 00 again. Waited for Steph to get out of work. We picked her up at about 9 and went to the movies until midnight. We saw Underworld, and talked to these kids I met last time I went with Iris. He's putting me in his band. He called me last night when I got home and told me to go to this studio in Haverhill where he's having some people come so he can take a look at them. -famous- not. Stephs friend drove us around a bit before the movie. We went to White Hen to get food for the movie, becuase those fat bald movie assholes charge 10 dollars for popcorn and a fucking drink. smoked some butts, took some pictures of Steph humping the column outside Loews. (spell?) And now its Monday, and I have the day off and nothing to do. Call me freaks. Katie |
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| My 2 poetic accomlishments | ||||
| 03:11pm 11/10/2003 | ||||
Bind to my torso as if you need me Like I need you Immobalize my actions with each kiss Rake your nails across my skin Tantalize my mind until my eyes flood and heart bursts It would be okay as long as you weren't a lie And your feet caress the carpet And I realize the blood dripping off your nails And my bodies ability to move The cold air Now whats left? Bed Four trellises of fixed wood Hollowed by driven metal Fed by tireless breath Each night pressured into slow death My pressure weighing you down As you weigh me. Positioned on those same fabricated sheets the farmiliarity is crushing me As I wait for the same door to sound with a thud against your frame The conversations you've heard unfathomable If speaking was a virtue, lets be meaningless Becuase my memories evaporate into your pores And each close like my door And I rest in your womb Staring alongside my one window gaping at the world outside Which I am afraid to step In fear of having to fill your last memory and pore with a tear Instead of a laugh To hold my door open for others to see What was once my womb of insecurity |
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aggravated| My name is Volitile...Whatchitnow! | ||||
| 10:10pm 10/10/2003 | ||||
Also, people have been really rude to me lately. Everyones "in a bad mood" lately, but It's like: That can't be true becuase you tell me THAT'S why you're pissy, and then turn around and laugh and joke with the person next to you. Whatever. Honesly, I understand being in a bad mood every once and a while, but after a certain amount of time (this is NOT to Jaqui, Honey I completely sympathize with you...things will get better) and a certain number of grumpy days, people are going to call you a bitch! Let's face facts, I'm not perfect, NOT even close. I have bad days, But I don't use moods for an excuse to be cold everyday. Maybe I just don't understand/ know enough about peoples problems. *shrug* Maybe people just don't want to stay close to me anymore. Perfer et Obdura; Dolor hic Tibi Proderit olim Be patient and tough; one day this pain will be useful to you |
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exanimate| Cherry Kiss | ||||
| 03:34pm 09/10/2003 | ||||
It's all calypso. But it's not easy to know. You walk around with your shoulders down frowning, But it's not easy to know. It's just a tango. But it's not easy, you know. I walk around with my horns out now, But it's not easy to know. Another day, another entry. As time continues to go by, I'm starting to wonder... who am I? No, not 'hey I'm Katie', more of a 'what am I doing here on earth'. Ever think about that? I drive to school on the highway everyday and look into the car parked next to me at a stop light. That person is thinking about their own problems, what they need to get done for work, and lead a completely differant life. That one person has a family, a mother and father, and just as many problems as me. And then I turn around and notice the 4892374827 other cars in the highway (aka. parking lot), and it's like, 'It wouldn't matter if any of us were here'. What am I doing with my life that is anything differant than every one of you people? I'm not unique in any way! I mean sure, I'm crazy, probably insane, and have some serious mental issues...friends of my own, ext. But Just like everyone else, I'm trying to get into college so that I can get a good job, raise a family and provide for them, and live out my life working for some company. Sad, but inevitable. I wish I was one of those people that had the balls to say ' hey! This is my life, and I'm not going to waste it following the plan that was made for me before I was even old enough to think for myself'.... and then go do whatever it is I wanted to do. But no, I'm not doing ANY of that. None of us are. I never thought that my life isn't making a differance to anyone in this world except for me and my small group of friends until recently. I do the same thing every day. Get up, go to school, come home, write in this journal, and go to play practice. So, in conclusion... I want to start figuring out for MYSELF what It is I want to do in life, and act on it. Becuase the last thing I want to be is my fucking mother. So, Annnyways. how's it going?? Today, was, despite my paragraph above, pretty fun! I got to school in the worst of moods, and coped with Nadia because she had a bad night last night, too. But, then, out of nowhere... comes ROBERT OTTO into my homeroom and hands me a pair of drumbsticks. Go ahead, make fun of me for carrying them around... THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF. I make my own form of entertainment, thank you very much and I dont care if its pounding on you people's heads with wooden dildos! gracias. *sneeze* That was fun, I think he brought them becuase I was fascinated with his yesterday morning. What a nice kid. Then, off to Human Bio. WICKED FUNNY. We took notes for about 15 minutes and then she starts describing this in-class project. Now, I want you to imagine. Big, tall, thick, white sheets of paper... on the floor... with me on top of it. Being traced by Johnny. Not sexually, perv! We had to trace the smaller person, and then draw all the bones inside of the traced figure. He's tracing away, right, and then he comes to the bottom of my foot, closer and closer and closer to my cooter. I was forced to say (before he got there offcourse) "stay away from my vag with that pencil, Johnny!" Good times. We only finished the head becuase we were mocking mike the whole time. ....Onne timmme, In P- townnn.... riight. Now it was off to History. I didn't OPEN a book last night becuase of the game and whatnot. There was a quiz, on which I got an 88. At lunch, Allison, Mike and Johnny came down to the bleachers with me to eat. It was really nice out today. First time in forever we didn't need a coat. So we're eating, blah blah... and then Mike's like..."Katie, yo Katie, hook it up with a cigarette". I abliged and there Mike is, sitting RIGHT on the ground in front of the bleachers smoking a cigarette. Inspirational, Michael, really. *imagines you sitting there fanning smoke away, as if it would make a differance* Sha. So, as I said, that was inspiring. Ms. Gannon's class is composed of sitting and watching a movie, or listening to her opinions on gay rights. Today, we went the extra mile and walked outside. She told us to think about our lives in silence for a half hour to fourty minutes, ANYwhere we want on the property. Soo, my little punk ass decides that this is the perfect opportunity. I went down to the soccer field and Bridget showed Tyler and I a path where Ganon couldn't see us. She even watched out for us. -squeezes her- Thanks, Bridge. Yeah, and we smoked in there. Very relaxing, really, Ms. G... good class today! I hope this weekend is fun. As far as I know my grades are doing relatively well, so I'm not too worried about progress reports. My mom said If I did badly on them I'd be fucked, but I don't think that'll be an issue. Friday, I'm either hanging out with Katie MC or Sam F. Then Saturday, My grandparents from Maine are coming to celebrate my birthday and my grandmother sure as hell wants to give me some crafts she made as gifts. -sighs- Go back to Maine, I don't want you here. You hate me, I hate you... lets keep this shit simple. I wanna go over Allisons later. But! but, yes theres a but. I need a ride. Nads might be going out with Jax and Quinmeister -is sad, needs her weekend dose of Modia-. Johnny.... Post one if you can give me a ride over there? Much love. Sooo long, and have a Great, great timmme. Katie |
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| Im going under. | ||||
| 04:30pm 08/10/2003 | ||||
I'm ugly all that i am and i can never live up I'm failing I'm angry afraid of the ways they pretend to be us its fuct up I'm different wurdz remain my only escape art saves all of me evolving and now you're walking away!!! I'm so afraid and now you're walking away I'm so ashamed and now you're walking away!! [II.] my mistake was trusting you blood pigs with creating my fate with poetry and suffering i cannibalized every ounce of my pain I'm still afraid everyday these greedy worms - they devour my plagues I'm not your slave I'm conquering you see me rise & now you're walking away!!! I'm not ashamed! and now you're walking away! I'm not afraid! and now you're walking away!! you can't hurt me anymore you can't hurt me anymore fed from the wound from which we were bled vomiting filth in our soft cave heads chewing on tissue, tendon and fat destroying the things they do not understand! tyrant. betrayer. parasite. traitor!! ....and still u feed them ....and still u need them I'm sorry I'm ugly dangerous can't describe it enough I'm failing I'm angry i use my fear to empower my hate I'm fuct up I'm different wurdz remain my only escape art saves all of me evolving and now you're walking away!!! eye'm not ashamed and now you're walking away eye'm not afraid and now you're walking away! and now you're walking away! and now you're walking away and now you're walking away (voodoo spell) my mistake! was trusting you! ~~~Hi. *ahem* Im starting to feel like everybody is aggravated with me. I can't understand why, and every time I get a weird look or a muffled "hi" I think to myself -just fucking tell me if you're fed up with me and I'll shut up instead of making matters worse- It seems like every time I try to get closer to someone they push me away. Maybe I come across too strong. Call me crazy, but I like making new friends, and becoming closer with people whom I haven't been close to in the past. And if you don't feel like making a new friend in me, tell me please. thank you. Okay, back to typing. That made me want a cigarette like noone's buisiness. I had been doing really well, too. Only two in the past... okay hour. Shut up. I have play practice tonight and I really don't feel like going. I thought it would be fun, and even though the main reason I did it was for college aps, I wish I hadn't. It's not the end of the world, but ms. Hanover is off her rocker. And no offense to anyone, but the party scene for the aftershow may come down to meaghan and three others...if we're lucky. I can't figure out why, but I haven't cared about much lately. For a while there I was really exited about the play, new friends... and now I'm feeling very -blah-. Im greatful for all of you people, really, I couldn't ask for anything more; but I think it has something to do with my mom. She's really getting on my nerves. I couldn't explain all dimensions of that topic if I tried. So I'm not getting into the mother unit discussion. I'm giving up on alot, too. Things I thought I had a chance with, people I thought I had a chance with. Let me know if I'm going too far? I don't want to end up cold hearted. Things I really dont care about... I realized parts of them. I was talking to Allison about this. When you loose someone, and even though you're probably better off without them; there will always be certain things about that one that you will remember. Memories, in a way. Im glad that friendship is over. It caused me alot of pain, in more than one way... but I'll always care about that person. Like, if she was ever hurt or needed help, I wouldn't walk by without a thought. Too much time was spent with her. Good times, as well as bad. So yeah, that's that. And, on that subject. I want to express a thought about everyone else in my life. I love you. all of you. Whatever the void was for the past three years was, its filled now. Im finally on an EQUAL level with my friends. Respect, Gratitude, and Love I give to you. Even the boys, NO, especially the boys. Never before have I had guys that were friends. Guys that want to go out and have a good time without getting their dick sucked, or asking for it. Finally, I think everyone in our group is on the same page. We think alike, act the same way in tangential respect... but are all unique. So, all my love to you. hmm, what was school like today. Boring as hell. Absolutely nothing interesting. No events even worth telling about. I poured soda on the driveway and the popular senior boys turned around and stared at me, thinking I was peeing? there. Interesting event of the day. I don't know what I'm searching for. It seems that everything is together, but I need something more, I think. We'll see. Im off to play practice. Katie |
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confused| Slow it Down, Slow it Down | ||||
| 04:21pm 07/10/2003 | ||||
Johnny and I just went into an animal lovers, Jewish singles chat.... riight. Today, so what happened today? ...!... good day. I woke up feeling all tired-like from the game last night. My family's crazy. My dad has to wake up at 2 AM every morning, so he didn't sleep at all; and my 80 year old grandmother was holding the arm of the couch screaming hungarian swears. When I got to school, everyone pretty much seemed in a good enough mood. I told Olivia she looked perdy. She was wearing this cute necklace and looking all polish girl. I dropped all of my breath mints on the floor in history. Those Winterfresh strips, too. Fucker. History class is always the same, though. Mr. Mackenzie's nipple shows through his shirt and everyone laughs at him. -feels bad- Activity was fun today. Everyone camped out in the Spanish room on the 3rd floor. Everyone includingg: Me, Christine, Allison, Meaghan, Lauren, Sam (2), Katie... eh, fuckit, you know who was in there if you're reading this. My feet smelled. Bad. Really bad. So I threw my sandals at the door into the next room. Ms. Ambrose (Donald Duck loving crab) comes in and tells me to shut up. What an ugly woman. Really, I used to think *ehh* but she needs to go back to Maine. Im really starting to wonder about the assorted human beings that dwell in our school. I can't read anyone. It's starting to piss me off... ? *burp* If it wasn't for all you cheribs that lighten up the dark hallways of AP, Id be expelled for physical assault. *stands tall... all 4 foot 11 of her* Meh.  Goddess of winter, with a cold exterior but deep down a warm, caring heart. What element would you rein over? (For Girls) brought to you by Quizilla  YOU ARE A FREKAING MANIAC!!! You need some serious therapy... and maybe a few yearS in a military school. Ease up on all the thoughts of murder and chill yourself out. What is Your Personality Disorder? brought to you by Quizilla At lunch, Allison, Johnny and I were sitting on the Ledge near the dance room. This guy walked by and randomly says..."Halloween!" to Johnny. I just bit my lip. Fuck. Katie |
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| Quiz time. | |||
| 06:11pm 06/10/2003 | |||
 gabrielle Vampires Of Anne Rice..(girls) - guys coming soon brought to you by Quizilla |
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| kill the aquitted | ||||
| 04:58pm 06/10/2003 | ||||
First, Modia came and picked me up at my house at 6 on Sat. Oh, FUCK. *slaps self* Allison. She has this big ass fight with her mom about being let out of the house every weekend, and her mom told her that she wasnt allowed over my house on a Saturday even it it was my birthday. Seems a little extreme. I felt bad because her mom was being an Omega bitch to her on the way over. So, anyway. Modia came. Picked me up and we lied to my mom. Like always. I dont know, I don't really feel bad at all while I'm doing it... but the poor thing trusts me again, and I guess in the aftermath im starting to feel guilty about telling her we see an eleven o'clock show every weekend. whatever. *mehehe* So we went down to get Olivia and picked up Allison at school. We were Allll set to go into Boston. Mike had called and told us that going to the show in Salem wasnt a good idea since it was raining.... so, yeah. We met him, Chantal, Johnnyyy!(oh my frieking slut god, funniest kid ever). The seven of us sat in a parking lot in the rain smoking and listening to AFI. Got bored. Headed up to Salem. Raining, wintertime temperatures. *burr* Went BACK down to melrose area. All of the girls had to pee, so we went into Friendly's and used the mens bathroom. Or at least me and Liv did. *ahem* SOooo... off to the resovoir (spelling?). All 4892789472 of us went up this giant mud path and I was thinking to myself... okay who the fucks Idea was this? But, when we got there... It was worth waiting the whole night for. The place was beautiful. There was this rocky ledge overlooking the pond... we sat there on the rocks smoking again, watching the colored fountain and goofing off. Oh, and we saw a UFO. DIE UNBELIEVERS>IT WAS NO LIGHT. Parts of the night that you wouldnt even think of were the best. For instancee... riding in the car with Mod and Johnny. I almost cried in Nadia's car. We were listening to "in this diary"... and Nadia has to go... hey, guys... we only have a year and a half left together, and then it's really goodbye. I seriously couldn't bear thinking of that. I really love all of my friends, its unreal. ...*tear*... JOHNNY! HOLY SHIT. Allison and I drove home from the show with him. all I can say is Princess and *****. Oh, and old school BSB. yes, BSB, ...(eat me). Johnny did backwards donuts in his momma's princessss and almost hit a telephone pole... he had no idea. So that was that. Im really happy right now. Ghod, I have too many changes of attitude lately... one day im pissed/sad/emotional, the next I'm all ready to hump a construction worker. Im starting to become closer to Katie. Im really happy about it, becuase we never were before. Plus... shes helping me out of the kindness of her heart. *sigh* Hmm... maybe I'll ask her to hang out again this Friday since she DITCHED my ass last time. RAWR! Its okay, I went out with Steph and Linds and it owned me. School sucks. and I really dont feel like putting up with the shit people feed me all the time. Besides my friends and alot of the other girls in my grade, I hate it. If It wasn't for them I might turn into a Beauty School Dropout. I got this call on Friday night from a blocked number calling me a "dyke". Okay, you really don't think I know who you are? You left me a message too, pencilcock. Why don't you grow up and realize that it's none of your buisiness who I sleep with. Even if I was a lesbian, I wouldn't care what you thought of me... so why don't you get that through your head before you call me again looking for laughs. I DON'T FUCKING CARE. Have a nice day. Katie |
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lonmyownl |
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