Im a baby.'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Im a baby.

[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

Oh my god, Im going crazy. [29 Jan 2004|12:33am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Where do I begin?
Should I confess my sins right now for all of blurty world?
I got a job at Subway and guess what happens to be next door? Lampu, the japanese restaurant
with all the many Vietnamese workers that I secretly have crushes on... (you know I like asian guys..)
So I meet this one... Jeng? (Im really not good with Vietnamese spelling..) I like him a lot. He's Chinese
actually... and we meet together and go to the hotel to drink and hang out once a week... and I talk to
him on the phone but i have no idea if he really likes me or is using me. Ya know? He says I think too much.
He's right... I mean, I doubt we'll ever work out... for crying out loud Im actually not very single....
Oh my goodness... Im a bad person? No, just confused. I dont know why I like him... I call him too much..
I feel like Im chasing him and its going to scare him away so maybe I shouldnt call so much?
I could try but I dont know. I want to forget about him...

Im frustrated. I wore a skirt that was way too short and the Wendys workers were ummmm... noticing and laughing... so me with my cute skirt and beer in my tummy... I flicked them all off... which is STUPID because we work in the same shopping center and there in all the time and the managers are constantly talking to eachother... and I want Jeng to want me... I dont trust him... I wish I loved Atsuo but I wonder how can I be so attracted to Jeng... so I must not be in love with Atsuo... I feel like a slut for going to the hotel to meet with Jeng but I do it because I want him to like me more.... and Im actually starting to disrespect my ownself and my own feelings because of him... and ... well... he's right... I think too much. I feel dirty. Me and my short skirt... I feel like an escort yucky girl only here to serve Asian men. I feel like nothing. Im starting to lose touch with myself.
So I try to be more sexy so he'll want me more... and.. I dont know why... so then I get drunk with Jeng and love it at first and then by the end of the night Im CRYING drunk begging him to like me more and not use me... I feel pathetic. I mean, Im an adorable sweet girl.. (no im not conceited.. but right now I need to feel better about myself...) If people say Im so pretty and cute... then why is this happening? Somedays I say "fuck it" and I dont care... but inside I think I do care. I felt like trash tonight... unattractive... trying to hard... I hate short skirts for the time being.

My first instinct is to runaway. Last night I told Atsuo to buy me a plane ticket back to Texas right away... like this
weekend. By morning I had calmed down and decided that wasnt rational just to quit my job... leave everything behind just because its getting harder. Thats weak... thats taking the easy way out. Im frustrated and angry.
I need to calm down and not care, right?

Tonight after the Wendys madness me and my sis went to Vi's. Oh my goodness... AGAIN... Vi has turned into a flake. He was weird... Id explain more but Im too frustrated to type anymore.. I keep misspelling everything.
I'll try to update more frequent.

Miss. Silly Jilly

1 comment|post comment

Happy New Year! [04 Jan 2004|10:52pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Im in Florida with my family now. Christmas was nice... I got some cute outfits and went shopping.. I have like 40-something CENTS left. oops. But it was fun... Only had one regret purchase and that was these boyish looking army green baggy pants on sale. Im GIRLY..lol... they dont suit me.. oh well.

Atsuo and I talk on the phone every night... sometimes even more than once a day. Tonight he sounded sad so I kept nagging him and he just said he was hungry and he'd call me back... Arrrggghhh... boys boys boys.
My bf's a dork.. no really- HE IS. I like that about him but sometimes I get annoyed by it too! Like him TAPING the stuuuuuuupid american idol xmas thingy. Did he really have to do that? He's 34! I told my sis and she just looked at me like "OH MY LORD!" So sometimes I think of all the dorky things he says and does and I get like... uuuuuuuhhhhh.... and then I get crabby about it. I have to remind myself he is Japanese and maybe thats why he doesnt get things but nooooooooo-- Ive had very cool Japanese friends before. But its him and I can either live with it or move on and Im thinking... I could never move on but sometimes I wonder if Im IN LOVE with him or I just love him and I need someone to be with. That sounds AWFUL! No... Im not like one of those pathectic girls who is lonely so they stay in a comfortable relationship with absolutely no sparks. Sometimes i hate the sound of his laugh when he laughs at things that arent funny. (Oh MAN I sound soooo mean.....) Im not really!
I feel really guilty and blah about it. I like being with him but I dont see us "forever together". I dont feel like he's my soul mate... Arent you supposed to have some special feeling and you just KNOW youre meant to be with that person? Where's my special feeling? Where are the fireworks and story-book romance? Im confused but Id just not go on if I dodnt have in... Funny, how I seem to contradict myself now. I cant imagine things being over but I cant imagine them going on forever either... then what? Im stuck in between. Ooooh, that last sentence seemed liked something Britney Spears would say... Too bad Im a fan.
Well, Ive been emotional lately... maybe its just that. Girls are way sillier than boys. Plans are still on for Japan in mid to late Feb. We'll see.

I really enjoy seeing my nephew!!!! (He's going on two this very month...) Sooooo KAWAII!!!! The cutest
kid in the world... I may be biased but he's REALLY cute like toddler commercial cute. He's a silly mess though!
Does typical kiddie things like drawing on the walls.. dumping out his sippy cup... throwing food when he decides he doesnt want it anymore... but I LOVE EM!

Ive been hanging out with Mandie and Jen alot more although last night they begged me to go out with them and I said no c ause I wasnt feeling good. I just am not in the mood to drink and stay up all night sometimes, ya know? Im 20 but sometimes feel older.
OH- yeah... I know I havent even begun to update that story... shoot....ummmm... I will this week. I'll try. I would tonight but Im tired like always......
MUAH!

post comment

Going home... all alone. [19 Dec 2003|04:55pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well,
Plans always seem to change! And GRRRRR... its happening again.
Im going back to Florida ALONE because Atsuo totally punked out on meeting my
family. I mean... he talks of MARRIAGE and he doesnt have the decency to come
see mine when he promised he would??? And now we will be APART Xmas
AND new years... Infact it was a ONE WAY plane ticket and we wont meet up until
Feb and then we'll fly to Japan togather... So much for 27th of this month.
You know what though?
Im not holding my breath. I have this sneaking suspicion that Feb wont exactly
go as planned either but I wont care then. I have been let down and disappointed
WAY tooooo much and its just not fair to me. He literaly lied when you think about it.
All along he made me believe something totally different than what he really had
planned in his own mind. Grrrrrr! Thats just wrong!
So now my attitude is whatever happens, happens. I'll be surprised if things work
out. Now, back to Florida again... Over a month of trying to find a job and when
I finally do get one I'll have to leave. I just dont get it. Im so unsure at this moment.
I mean I love him but its not going to work out if its going to be like this... He said
in response "Well, you love to travel!" Of course I do... But I dont want to have to
jump on a freaking plane everytime I want to see my boyfriend! You know how expensive
that is?? He says he's happy paying but... money doent grow on trees and I dunno..
Im unhappy thinking of it like that. Im just SOOOO disappointed it turned out this way.
I came as a shock to me... Im still in shock. Great Xmas gift, huh? "Honey, I got you
a plane ticket ALONE... oh... by the way... its ONE WAY." Yeah, I feel loved.
Now I have made it clear I hate Texas and dont want to live here and that I wanted to
go back to Florida but I meant with HIM.. grrrrr! Not by myself! Then he went behind
my back and bought the ticket... DIDNT EVEN TELL ME! I had to keep asking him
when are we going to the travel agency to get tickets and then he confessed.
Grrrrrrr...... This has been over a week ago since it happened but Im still upset.
He's trying to be extra nice to me like leaving love notes in the morning and swearing
we'll meet up in Feb and run off to Japan for 3 months... but I just feel like my
holidays are ruined. My mom notices it in my voice. When I talk to her over the phone
she says I sound depressed. I hate to worry her... I mean, Im going to be ok but
why did this have to happen? Atsuo better make it up to me in Feb and if he cant
then I seriously am saying goodbye to this relationship and he'll be returning to Japan
forever alone.
Then I'll probably swear off Japanese men or something... lol... Mmmmm... Chinese time..
Just kidding of course! (Can you tell I have a thing for Asian men ;-)

Well... maybe something to cheer me up... another materialistic Xmas list... Of course
I dont expect these things! haha! But if I could buy myself ONE thing from my list I'll
be satisfied.

1) Either the Juicy Couture baby pink or yellow terry mini dress or ANOTHER cheaper
version CUTE babydoll dress.

2) Baby pink suede boots (Arent they called UGG or something like that?)

3) D&B cute rainbow print purse

4) A cute sweeeedish UO shirt.

5) Floral rubber rainboots from UO. (Im not kidding!)

Oooooh.... if I owned those things... Of course nobody even knows I secretly desire them.
Well, dawwwwlings... have to go and wash dishes... ooooh, im sad. No money. No job.
No happy Xmas.

xoxoxo

1 comment|post comment

I really am innocent... ya see! [05 Dec 2003|12:45am]
[ mood | giggly ]

Innocent
Innocent


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

post comment

Little cute bangs. [04 Dec 2003|11:13pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I made cookies today with vanilla icing. Yum... Atsuo seemed to enjoy them very much. Its funny because he used to claim how he doesnt like sweet stuff much and that generally all Asians arent big on sweets either but...lol- I dont believe it. He loves the sweets I make and so does Sam the roomie from Hong Kong.
I wanted to make home-made potatoe chips like my grandma used to make but the awful yucky buggies got into the bag of potatoes! Yuck!!! So we had to throw them out because they literally ate through them...ewwwww...

Wow, I cant believe tomorrow is Friday! Another week flies by. We might go see a movie this weekend. Thatll be nice. I keep bugging Atsuo to buy plane tickets soon. I just dont want him to wait till TOO late and then we wont be able to catch a flight in time and then Xmas would be ruined and everything. :-( Boys always wait till LAST possible minute, why??? Im possibly just much too anxious about Japan. I've even been having problems sleeping because I stay up at night on the computer daydreaming about jjaaappaaann... hehehe...

Actually- Last night I started writing more in my head about the brothel story... I dont feel like writing it down now. I kinda have to be in the mood to write stories for it to flow, ya know? But I will soooon.
OH!
I got my hair cut yesterday. I like it but he went much more shorter than "an inch and a half trim"...hehehe...
Why do salon people always go to town on your hair when you just say "a little"? I dunnnooo but I like the cut so I wont complain anymore. Its cute and I have bangs again! Yay!!! I had them but they were growing out pretty long and i missed them. My hair grows so fast though and Im sure my hair will look different next week.

What am I going to get Atsuo for Xmas? Ahhhhhh! I DONT KNOW! Acutally, I have a few ideas... I should be getting like atleast $25 little dollars from that one place.. So I plan to buy a bunch of little planes that he LOVES from Wal-mart and put them in a gift bag.. Also Im currently knitting him a scarf. Oh, it sucks to be poor but he knows I have no job and Im trying my best. Now, I just have to come up with an ellaborate plan to buy the stuff when Im WITH him without him knowing. I have some ideas about having to go "back to the car" and get his keys and buy the stuff then run the stuff back out to the car... hide it under my big coat and then when we get home rush to the room and put it in my suitcase. I hope it works. ;-)
byebye.

post comment

My brothel story!! [02 Dec 2003|09:35pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | watching tv- some silly show- dont know the name. ]

Today was pretty usual. I slept in till like 3 like I predicted last night... played neopets forever.
I love that site. Its so kawaii. <3

Im really looking forward to going back to Japan. I had lots of dreams about it last night.
I always dream about being at airports and in my dreams it was me and Atsuo. I dont know
whats going to happen there but Im soooo ready to go again...lol... Im getting anxious.
I want to get the cute pink j-phone!! I have to have it! ;-)

Last night I had some fantasy dreams before finally falling asleep so Im just going to write what went on in my head. Because I promised I would today...

(lol... this doesnt pertain to me!)
------------------------------------------------------------

She was unlike the other girls. She was neither Thai nor Russian... nor a former hostess who made bad decisions. She's American in every sense with her girl next door blonde hair and blue eyes. To them she was mysterious because she didnt speak to them... They knew very little english anyway so it didnt matter. She didnt live her entire life in a brothel like some of the girls. Their ages ranged from teen to mid 30s desperately living a life gone wrong. Sone of them needed the money to send home to their families... others were so addicted to drugs and would do anything for it. But she was different. She was 20 but looked so much younger with a tiny soft voice and shy eyes. She wore babydoll dresses and maryjanes... She sang herself to sleep after the men left her room each night. Why? Was she crazy? No... not crazy at all though. You see, it was her way of escaping the misery. She created a new world inside her mind.. She was just a child to herself- its like time stood still and she could grow no older... In her mind she lived in a fairytale world- one day she was a princess- another day a fairy... movie star on tuesdays... She was everything she wanted to be... Just not what she really was- a common brothel girl... a western whore in the eastern world.

The brothel itself was dark and poorly lit at night. It was dirty and constantly smelled of urine and semen. But you got used to it... as awful as that sounds its true... days turn to weeks-- weeks into months and overtime months into years... long years rarely stepping out in the real world. That smell attached itself to her mind... she forgotten the smell of a rose so she pretended a rose must smell horrid and that she lived a dream life... everything was ok. Her name she wasnt even sure of... They called her different things- baby, na-na and many other random names not of english language. She barely remembered a name that started with the letter J as her own before her life in Asia... Its not that she had amnesia or anything as severe as that- she chose not to remember. She blocked the past from her mind because the past could easily make her cry. She could be slapped, spit at, raped hard and rough but she would not shed a single tear because thats her life. She was now accustomed to that sort of pain. Its those hidden memories that creep up in the late hours of night that make her weep... She would curl herself up into a ball as she remembered someone touching her... rubbing her head.. the smell of soap and vanilla mixed together- her mother. So thats how Ingrid came about. Her mother. Of course Ingrid is not a real person... only imaginary- but late after the "customers" have gone... or perhaps its more accurate to say early in the morning... after the men have gone home to wives, jobs or drugs- Ingrid came out to visit. "How was your day, my sweet child?" ..she would coo lovingly at the girl. And then Baby would drift off and answer aloud "Good mommy, I made more money than last night because the gangster came again.. and this time I got this.." She held up a little pearl seed necklace that glittered in the dawn. "ooooooh such a pretty gift little one", the imaginary mother replied. "I know", baby stated to the wall in front of her. She let her feet dangle over the bed as she arranged her dolls and plush toys neatly in front of her... somewhere in the shadows of early morning Ingrid slipt away to leave baby all to herself.

"Da! Da!", Dominique the russian vampy woman exclaimed after too much sake. He red lipstick stained the scratched wine glass as she pouted and gave her best french model impression. She was a big boned tall blonde with legs that drove men crazy... long and muscular; short Asian men often found themselves speechless when caught in her come hither gaze. She was a veteran to the world of hooking and nighlife... typical story- growing up poor in a broken home in central Moscow... She smoked cigarettes at the age of 8 and judging from her deep raspy voice no one could deny that. Dominique was real as real could get... She would tell you if you looked hot as fire or like a "smelly peasant" as she loved to put it. To herself- noone could compare... her ego was the biggest of all the girls and she often found herself in petty catfights for it.

Mai-Lee was the Chinese beauty... She grew up in rural China in a poor village along the Yaughtzee River. She came to Japan to start a new life in the glittering futuristic city of Tokyo.. taking a job as a hostess she got involved with the wrong club at the wrong time and unknowingly began to work for top Yakuza gangsters who eventually sold her to this brothel and are making a commission of her to this very day. When she first came she spoke no english and very little Japanese. Mai-Lee loved "quiet american girl" because she could see the sadness in Baby's eyes... Sometimes Mai-Lee could hear cries from baby's room and other times giggles. Mai-Lee was very bright and caught on to Baby's pretend life.. she longed to reach out to her but her english was just not good enough.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hehehe... I'll write more tomorrow but Im a bit tired of it right now and Im wanting some wine- plus time to play at Neopets and amuse Atsuo with silly faces.
Byebye pretend readers! xoxoxo

post comment

Is it really after 4 AM!?!?! [02 Dec 2003|04:15am]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | I cant listen to music... bf is sleeping behind me in bed! ]

Ummmm....

I cant sleep!
Ive been having fun with html colors... (yes... I discovered it for the first time! yay!)
WoW! I can change the look of my diary with a couple of numbers! hehehe..
My last diary was way cuter still... I had a carebears theme but I moved to this
site ONLY because of the hamster blogs. Yes, those critters are important to me.
I like them more than the chinese symbols and Im an asian-obsessed baby.

Ok... Time to say SORRY for not updating in forever... like almost a month, right?
You would think I would be sooooooo busy but no... not at all. I quit that telemarketing
job after only one week. I know I must sound like a total loser silly bear but I hated
waking people at 9am to sell them something. I mean, c'mon... Who wants to buy
a vacation to a little town in MISSOURI at 9am!?! Nothing against that state but people
arent that stupid. Atleast most people arent.

Im still in Texas though. Me and Atsuo are getting along much better lately which
is such a relief because we were getting intense there for a minute. Although he is
sleeping behind me in bed (Its about 4:30am) and here I am clicking away at the keyboard
like some sleep-deprived insomniac computer nerd. He might scold me in the morning
for being so thoughtless clicking away while he tries to sleep. But... I felt guilty for not
updating and thought "To hell with it! Ive stayed up this far... might as well go till dawn!"

MY PLANS FOR DECEMBER!!!!! Finally we have a set schedule and I will be traveling soon
again. You see... I have what they call the "travel bug"... I cant stay in one place too long..
Im adventurous... a true free spirit... I roam and explore and often dream of dangerous
situations like running from Yakuza (no.. thats never happened quite yet!!!)... but you
know what I mean. Here is my schedule:
December 25th fly to Florida to see family and say Merry Xmas... kiss them all and marvel
at how my little nephew has gotten so much bigger... go to my bedroom and see all my little
girl memories in my my mind before they became big girl memories...
December 27th fly to TOKYOOOOOO!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING BACK TO JAPAN!!!! There I will stay atleast a few months and
explore all of Tokyo and try to find bad guys and learn more Japanese. I may see Dan
in Yokohama but that might be... weird... and Atsuo might not like that because Dan likes
me... (He actually said he loved me!!! oh goodness!) So... I dunno... well... moving on...
Im determined to find REAL YAKUZA men!!! hahaha!!! And take a picture of them!!!
lol... And try to upload it for everyone to see.
Ok- reality check- no one reads my diary but me... but to my "pretend readers"- we'll see!
I actually saw a yakuza man in Korean town in Yokohama... But I couldnt be adventurous
or mischievious because I had a bad bad tummy ache and just wanted to get home pronto...
Maybe that was fate? Maybe if I didnt have a tummy ache I would have ended up in trouble?
Who knows!
Ok... Id love to chat more but its soooooo late and Atsuo is trying to sleep. Typing can be noisy
in a little room in the middle of the night.
Write SOON! Like probably tomorrow... after I wake up at 3pm. ;-)
MUAH!
To all my pretend readers... Have a goodnight and Sweeeeeet Babydoll Dreamssss!

post comment

I got the job! [07 Nov 2003|07:46pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | watching tv actually... ]

I got the job at what I THOUGHT was a travel agency... (It was really telemarketing though...)
So now I sell vacation packages over the phone! Oh well! Still, I get paid... and every Friday too.
I have to wait a few weeks first though. I dont mind. I kinda like it but Ive just been training for 2
days and havent been on the phone yet with actual people. I cant wait to get hung up and screamed
at...lol... What a crazy job!
Last night me and Atsuo argued a lot. I thought he was going to send me back to Florida to tell you
the truth. It wasnt pretty. He had been really late picking me up and i had waited out in the freezing cold
weather... (very upset)... He just didnt seem very apologetic about it and thats how it started...grrrr...
I dont want to get into it cuse im over it.
Im SLEEPY tonight! I overslept this morning because Atsuo didnt WAKE ME UP this morning and
I almost didnt even go in but luckily I rushed and went in anyway.
Hiroshi emailed and said my spring sailor costume is in the mail! Wooohooo
I want to go shopping bad...Im going to make a list of everything I want:
COSTUMES
1.) Winter Sailor costume at cosmates
2.) Schoolgirl costume with blazer
3.) Kogal schoolgirl costume
4.) Summer sailor outfit
5.) Cute lolita white dress
6.) Heidi red dress
7.) Pink apron dress with a heart

CLOTHES:
wool pleated brown skirt from AE
herringbone skirt from AF
warm sweaters
cute hats
hello kitty purse
Pink silk skirt form AF
beige leggings from AF
some cute tops
warm winter coat

ooooooooh
AND...
Other stuff I dont need:
SAILOR MOON anything!
more anime
pocky pocky pocky
babypink lipbalm from Japan

Ok, enough of my materialistic side!
Muah!

post comment

Jobs-Jobs-Jobs food-food-food [03 Nov 2003|02:13pm]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | Me against the music- britney. ]

Finding a job is harder than I thought!
So I went to the "Hot Topic" interview and practically got laughed out of the store.
They took one look at my light blonde hair- schoolgirl skirt and tights and raised an
amused eyebrow. Why would SHE want to work HERE? <--Thats what they were thinking!
Never-the-less I tried my best and I didnt get a second interview. Oh well.

But good news has come my way! A local travel agency is hiring and Im going to
apply tomorrow. Im trying not to get my hopes up but working at a travel agency
would be soooooooooo wonderful! Can you say "discount tickets to Japan!" Plus, I once
really wanted to be a travel agent because I have what they call the "travel bug"...
I love to explore different countries and I can relate to travel junkies. I know I could
sell vacation packages pretty well. Oooooh- wouldnt it be GREAT to get that job???


Yesterday I got annoyed with Atsuo. Now, I know were pretty poor living here in
this ghetto apartment- sharing a little room and me living out of one big suitcase still...
And I might be small. But I get hungry just like normal people! For breakfast we
eat 3 pizza rolls each. Now, these are about the size of a quarter? Kinda like mini pizza
pockets... And the average ammount one person should eat for even a SNACK is like
atleast 8. But we just eat 3. And that satisfies my tummy for the time being.
(This is in the morning..) And then by 3pm Im freaking HUNGRY. Even skinny girls
eat. So I tell Atsuo "Im sooo hungry, are you?" and he replies "yes" then walks to
the kitchen. He comes back with one FUN SIZED crunch bar. LOL! Oh yeah, what a
huge meal that is... Its one of those tiny versions of the real candy car. I smile thinking
he is just teasing me. He eats his up and I say "Im hungy... are you?" for the second
time... He says "no". He was serious. He gave me a piece of chocolate for a
meal after a skimpy breakfast. I sulked watching infomercials about the latest cooking
machines... It was torture for him (he hates infomercials..) and kinda torture for me
too because I had to watch all the yummy food on tv. But I was in a rotten mood at
the time.

So anyway, hehehe..
BABY's cooking dinner tonight!!! Wooohoooo!
I love my Japanese cutie boyfriend- I REALLY do. And I really love white rice and
ramen noodles with little veggies chopped up in it. Nobody can spice up a boring
.25 cent package of noodles like he can. So I dont mind eting it over and over
again. And I dont even mind eating a half of a hot dog on a piece of plain white
bread with a slice of american cheese over it. I realize when youre looking for
a job and you are kinda really poor- you eat these things- thats fine as long
as I have enough to eat.
However- Im cooking dinner!!! Yay!!!! Im showing this man some southern
cooking. Im making seasoned beef steak with country-style gravy.
REAL home-made mashed potatoes and blackeyed peas... For dessert
we are having moist yellow cake with chocolate frosting. A real feast!!!!!
(Atleast for me!)

Ok, all this talk about food is making me hungy...

MUAH!

post comment

My first story here! Ahhhhh! [29 Oct 2003|05:42pm]
[ mood | horny ]

Emma giggled as she surfed the net browsing "mail-order brides" ads and Japanese hostess positions.
The alluring Tokyo nightlife fascinated her to no extent. Now she was going to Japan to see it herself!
She would board a plane bound to Narita to meet her new club director. This was it! She was going to
be a hostess!
At 20 years old, she looked more like 15. She was petite with strong swedish looks. Her white blonde
hair lay limp in pigtails... her blue eyes big and alive like real-life animation. When the Japanese club
director and agent saw the picture of Emma posed in an old school girl uniform... revealing her small
milky white thighs they knew how much money she was worth.
White slavery is not unheard of in Tokyo. Youd be surprised to find brothels above fancy designer
bountiques hidden from the average tourists eyes. Most are Yakuza run (Japanese mafia) and they tend
to be a life long commitment for the girls who are either kidnapped or bribed into working.
She didnt know what she was getting herself into... To her it was a fantasy- She was blonde and cute!
She just wanted to be loved... She wanted the Asian men to want her and adore her body. She heard
stories of girls running off with men who threw diamonds at them for simply strutting in front of them...
It sure seems glamourous to an outsider- the money, cars, clothes, jewlery... But who knows where
you'll end up next? At Tiffanys? Or maybe the bottom of the Tokyo Bay.
So she packed up her stuff- told her mother she needed to explore the world a little... She was on her
way!


"This is so confusing!", whimpered Emma out loud to no one. She looked around desperate at the funny little Japanese symbols that looked more like cave-man drawings than an actual language. Her little voice softly floated above the foreign laughter. "Ummmm, excuse me? Does this train go to Shinjuku?", she asked timidly.
The old Asian man stared blankly at her unblinking. "Wow.... no english skills what so ever- Great Emma- what did you get yourself into?" Well, she managed to fly here, pass through customs and immigration- a little thing like this wouldnt stop her! Just then a kind Japanese girl motioned to her... Slowly she headed over. "You American girl? You stay in Tokyo?", questioned the girl. "Yes!! Actually, Im having some trouble... I totally dont know what train to get on- I need to get to Shinjuku. Someone's waiting for me at the train station there."
Like an angel the Japanese girl directed her to the train and after a million "arigato's" (thank you in japanese)
Emma was on her way. She relaxed on the train and enjoyed the scenery. It felt good to leave the airport and get out of there.

If Emma didnt think the airport was busy- she sure thought the Shinjuku train station was! Her mouth dropped open at the crowds of black-haired people scrambling all around her. A few of the men gazed at her for longer than a moment. She felt so... blonde.... in a world full of dark hair. Everyone seemed so rushed and quick to get where they were going. Growing up in a small town- this was culture shock at its best..
Just then she was pulled aside from behind. She could feel two strong arms grab her- Her heart raced and she looked rapidly around. "Emma!! We very very glad you came! We wait long time to see you! Such a cute girl, eh?" Emma turned around and faced two very handsome Japanese men. She admired their expensive-looking suits and gold jewelery. "Hi.... Thank you for picking me up...", Emma shly replied. She was so close to them she could smell their sweet cologne. She became excited thinking about being with a Japanese man for the first time. She felt a sticky wet spot form in between her legs. "We take you to club now- You meet girls."
Emma followed behind trying to keep up with their fast pace... It was hard not to get lost in the crowds. He noticed and held out his hand. Emma gratefully accepted and clung on to him like he was her daddy.

They finally made it to the club. They entered from a side door and made their way down dark narrow halls...
She could hear moans coming from behind some of the doors. "Do..Do I have to have sex?", She sputtered out quickly. They both laughed but not a word was spoken to her. She was then led to a back room where 3 other men waited. They sat at a table playing cards and drinking sake. They looked up quickly as she entered and all began to laugh. Emma didnt get what was so funny. She felt awkward and self-concious. They began to talk rapid japanese and motioned for her to come to them. Slowly Emma approached the table. "Take your clothes off", the scary looking man with tatoos demanded. "Well... ummmm... Im kinda shy at first..", Emma replied.
"This NOT option! You do as we say!", he snarled back. Emma knew a command when she heard one and began to immediatly strip. Her pink cotton babydoll dress was lifted over her head faster than you could blink an eye.
They looked approovingly at her white lacey bra little panties. "Those too", the tatooed man demanded again.
Emma slowly unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor. Her tiny pale chest and hard pink nipples were exposed. She felt shy at first but not for long... She began to get excited again as they watched her... She watched them rub their bulges that began to form in their pants as she slipped her white panties down. "She looks innocent.. like young girl..." they expressed. Emma proudly showed off her bald pussy and giggled. One of the men got up and unzipped his pants- they then fell to the floor. "Suck my cock, baby American slut!" The rest of the men seemed to be amused by this and laughed more. Emma submissively fell to her knees before him and put his big head in her mouth. For a Japanese man he was suprisingly bigger than she expeted. Maybe the cliche' was wrong? She shoved more into her mouth as he moaned.. She could taste the little drops of pre-cum.. feel them drip down her throat eagerly to her tummy. She savored the taste and felt selfish when she had sucked every little drop... She felt a poke at her cheek and happily took another Asian cock in her hand. "Mmmmm, yummy Japanese food for me!!!", Emma shrieked. They laughed more and all the men lined up to get a sucking from the little American girl. Five of them hard and ready... various Yakuza tattoos inked all over them... She took the next in her mouth swallowing it more and salivating all over as her tongue flicked over the head. She then stroked another cock from behind as she took turns licking their balls. As she did this they rubbed their fingers all over her clit and she felt a thumb poke into her tight hole. She felt soooo wet and drunk with pure erotic emotion- She wanted all of them inside her! At that thought she felt something hard against her little ass... It slid between her cheeks leaving a wet trail behind... then it moved downwards aiming at her little wet cunt. She could feel the head poke against her and enter slowly inch by inch. She was so tight! It hurt at first for she hadnt had sex in a very long time. She moaned out but as soon as she opened her mouth wide enough another cock slipped in causing her moans to be muffled even more. They pulled her hair and tugged on her now-sore nipples. She could feel the cock push through and now was completely inside her. He began to fuck her hard with more force while she sucked on his friend just as hard. They moaned and rambled some Japanese as one pushed her towards him to take his friends place in the back. She eagerly welcomed a new cock in as he rammed into her with such force that she screamed in ecstacy. "You like Japanese? I give you more Japanese!", he cried in return. They all took their turns with her fucking and sucking her sore battered pussy. She was on her hands and knees getting more Asian from behind than she ever imagined. She reached out to take more cock in her hands- and then to her mouth- They rubbed their dicks all over her face making her a sticky mess above and below. Just then they called out towards eachother and she felt a cock slip back out of her. She stayed on her knees... panting hard... not sure of what would come next. She glanced up to see all five Japanese men circle around her- They tugged furiously at their cocks. Without notice cum squirted through the air as the first man moaned and released himself all over her face. She could feel it sting her eyes and drip down her cheeks- But wait! There was much more... The rest of them men joined in and covered her with their sticky gooey milk. She had hot cum in her hair- dripping down her chin... all over her chest... She licked her lips to taste more of the salty treat. She took her hands and scooped it up into her mouth and giggled. She knew they expected her to be a good little girl and eat every last drop. And she would be... She felt completely satisfied. She smiled a little secret smile to herself. "Im going to love my new job...", she thought. The end! hehehe...

DISCLAIMER: This in NO WAY supports or encourages white slavery, or the trafficking of women in Asia to be sold in the sex industry. Its just a story... It comes from my perverted little mind.

1 comment|post comment

My first Entry! [29 Oct 2003|01:08pm]
[ mood | content ]

Welcome to the world of journals!!!

As of this moment Im in Dallas, Texas. (Yehaw!)
Im staying with a my cutie Japanese friend/ boyfriend? Atsuo.
Our relationship is a funny one but I'll get into that later- much later.

Im just going to write a recap of what happened in the last few months
very quickly.
I flew to Japan to meet Dan the Yokohama man and stayed a few weeks
with him in his beeaauutiiiffulll house right outside of Tokyo. Had my ups
and downs there but it was a worthy experience with lessons learned.
I came home only to find the travel bug had wormed its way into me again
and I couldnt just sit still in one place! So I flew from Florida (home state-
live near Orlando) to Texas where Im at right now and not exactly loving
it either. Im supposed ot return to Japan in December but I might hold that
off till next year sometime.
Am I happy? Ummmm... Lately Ive been down but Im hoping this journal
will cheer me up.
Im looking for a job in Texas which is funny because I know I wont stay
here long. lol.. Why am I still looking here? Who knows!
I miss Jonas. Ouch, those are sad words. Jonas was a lover a few
years back that died of a tragic heart condition. (that was the heartbreak
of my life so far...)
Ok- I have to go because I think I hear Atsuo now. This made no sense
but maybe first entries are like that!
Muah!
Love,
Jilly
PS.
I NEED JOURNAL FRIENDS!

post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]