Ryan's Blurty

Time:

5:15 am.

Isn't it funny how sometimes you remember shit you did when you were drunk, like a week later? And you just kind of have to shake your head, because what else can you do? I'm remembering now that night. I woke up in the living room of my little Aloha Rose townhouse, facedown in a puddle of Tequila. Oddly enough, I had a jar of cherries in my hand.

I don't know if I've ever drank that much. It's from missing everyone, of course. I miss L.A. like I never thought I'd miss anything. Horrible, isn't it? It's the place that treated me the worst - I lived in a dump, got sick and almost died, did nameless things to earn a buck - but I miss it. Miss my 'friends'. Okay, so they don't give a shit about me, but.. they were fun to hang out with. Crys and Hayden, and.. god, Lance.

I met a guy. A week ago. The mother of all flings. I'm pretty sure we did it on the beach, which would explain the three-hour-long shower I had to take and spend picking sand out of various crevices. I'm not sure about the cherries, or anything else, just sex on the beach. With a guy. I have a vague idea of what he looks like, but.. then again, it could be the beer goggle effect. I wish I could find him again, but what am I gonna do, put up a sign?

ISO: Guy who screwed me on the beach the other night. I think you were hot. Your name might start with a 'V' or a 'B', and I'm like 70% sure you weren't Hawaiian.

Yeah, I really need to stop drinking.

wipe your tears

Subject:	It's like my life's a skipping record..
Time:	9:10 pm.

I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. And over. I don't remember much of last night. I got kind of drunk (okay, really drunk) at a little party at the resort. Tequila.. I should've known better, I know, but I didn't. Know better. Well, I knew better, I just didn't really listen to logic. I must've drank about ten Tequila Sunrises. Those things have 190 calories. Each. Oh man.. I've been running the beaches all morning. I'm still going to get fat.

Something tells me.. something happened last night. I'm not sure what it was. I woke up in my own villa, though, and no one was with me. So.. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I need to stop drinking. Cut the ID that says I'm 22 in half and be done with it.

wipe your tears

Time:

9:05 pm.

Here I am.

Ryan heaved a sigh, pulling away from that laptop his parents had bought him and moved to the window overlooking the beach, in the room of the little Villa he'd checked into. A resort called the Aloha Rose. Blonde head tilted to the side, leaning against the glass pane, sighing. It was beautiful there, of course. He couldn't deny that. But was it where he wanted to be? Did it really matter? Not really. It was just like when he was younger - only instead of being shipped off to prep school, it was Hawaii. Get out of the parents' way, let them have their fucking caviar and their rich snooty friends. He was nineteen. It was time for him to start living in the real world, they said. Stop following stupid dreams. They'd explained all of this between cellular phone calls and video conferences over high-tech laptops while he lay in that hospital bed back in California. Even though the temperature felt like it was at least a hundred and fifty, he shivered. Then, turned away from the window, falling back into his chair.

Paradise. I'm staying at this resort called the Aloha Rose. It's nice, I guess. Just checked in this morning. Just got off the plane. I think I'm still culture shocked. Where's the cars? The smog? The fucking gangs and the drug dealers, addicts.. where's the pain, you know? This place is too perfect. It's creepy, that's what it is. Creepy as hell.

Sighing, he leaned back, and ran his hands through that dirty blonde mane, cut to be chin-length.

Tomorrow, I'll find a job. A place to stay permanently. Get myself together. And finally tell my parents that they can take their caviar and shove it where the sun don't shine.

He had to smile at that, a sad sort of ghost of a smile.

Aloha, Molokai.

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wipe your tears

Blurty for Ryan.

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