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Monday, January 14th, 2008

    Time Event
    1:54a
    WHY?
    The Why's of Men

    1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

    (because they are plugged into a genius)


    2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

    (they don't have enough time)


    3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

    (they don't stop to ask directions)


    4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

    (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)


    (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


    5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

    (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


    6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

    (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


    7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

    (don't know.....it never happened)


    8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

    (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
    ---------------------------------------------------

    Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !

    One for the ladies!!!

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
    'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
    He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
    And they say blondes are dumb...
    -----------------------------------------------
    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
    'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
    The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
    --------------- ------------------------------ --------------
    'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
    'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
    -----------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent , good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
    AMEN
    -------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
    -----------------------------------------------
    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    ---------------------------------------------- -------------
    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
    And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    2:00a
    Swiped from Joe
    post what comes to your mind first

    1. Beer: tent

    2. McDonalds: Ick

    3. Relationships: hurt

    4. Purple: lavender

    5. Power Rangers: rita

    6. Weed: teenager

    7. Steroids: shingels, lol

    8. Cartoons: Bugs bunny

    9. The President: bill gates?lol j/k

    10. Tupperware: dishwasher

    11. Florida: father

    12. Santa Claus: red

    13. Halloween: black cat

    14. Alice: mels diner

    15. Grammar: spelling

    16: Myspace: internet predators

    17. Clowns: bozo

    18. Marriage: stuck

    19. Paris: france

    20. Pat: Its Pat from SNL

    21. Redheads: Saima

    22. Blonde: Lisa

    23. Pass: out

    24. One night stand: kids need to know better

    28. Vanilla ice cream: Chocolate better

    30. High school musical: didnt have one

    31. Pajamas: tweety-bird

    32. Woody: Northern Michigan

    33. Wet Socks: wet shoes too

    35. Love: whats love got to do with it?

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