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Your Humorscope
Friday, July 13, 2007
"life is what happens while you're making other plans"--John Lennon
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Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will spend another full day attempting to shuffle a deck of cards with your toes. Fortunately, nobody will find out.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Good day to power-walk. It not only looks silly, it is silly.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to use nautical terms in ordinary situations, and to refer to the different sides of your building as "port" and "starboard".
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Absolutely marvelous day to complain, grumble, gripe, or whine. Remember: if you're going to do something, do it well.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Nothing unusual today. Unless you count that episode with the iguana...
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A friend will ask your advice on a technical matter. If you answer, you'll be blamed. Pretend you don't know anything about it.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Good day to bring home a bag or two of live bugs.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Excellent day to make strange "hooting" noises, while hiding in the bushes.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to go around "nudging" people.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A new love affair will have you all misty-eyed. Either that, or it's the onset of glaucoma, in which case you should seek immediate medical attention.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It'll turn out that your glasses are smudged.
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