Please...forget me not.'s Blurty

heartaches and ramblings...you may need a tissue.
Yesterday was a really bad day..

We have been having problems with one of our dogs. Duke is a large mixed breed. We got both our dogs from the pound..We saved 2 pound puppies.They are only a little over 3 years old. Both are mixes...The Female (Lady) is a shepherd mix the Male (duke) is a possible husky mix w/ a little bit of st bernard and a few others..He's really a mix! :)
He's 80 pds and she's about 50 pds.. He's had some problems with his leg for sometime. They were giving him anti-inflammatory meds but my hubby and I noticed that this time Dukes leg acted up it didnt seem to "get any better" with the meds. We opted to get him xrayed to see what it showed. We got news of exactly what we didnt want to hear. He's got very severe hip displaysia (sp?) but not in just one hip, on both sides equally. He's also got severe arthritis in both of those hips. We saw the xrays..instead of the ball in where the leg meets the hip, his is flat from all the rubbing. Its got sharp edges on it from the arthritis settling in too. We were convinced that it was his left leg, but its his whole hip on both sides.

Theres 3 things they can do for him....
1- medicate until its too bad then put him down.
2- surgery- cut the ball off and hope the muscle will pick up where the ball was ($500 per side) surgery done at vets.
3- surgery- total hip replacement 4-5k per side. Surgery done at a university.

This is such a hard thing because these dogs are apart of our family. Its like its a child of mine that I cannot help.
I cannot afford any of these surgeries, not really. The 4-5k one is out totally. that was is not even thinkable, as much as I wish I could.
The $500 dollar one, Im just unsure of because they still ,of course , cannot guarantee that it will work for him becuase he's got it SO bad.

Before the kids came home from school yesterday, after we heard the news, my husband sat in the back yard just bawling his heart out, while watching Lady look around the yard trying to figure out where Duke was at. I think my husband feels like such a failure right now. He stayed his distance from us all. Mostly out in the garage doing who knows what. He was silent almost the whole day. He wishes we were better off and I think he's blaming himself for not being that. We just get by and sometimes just barely at that.

We opted to change his meds and play it day by day. If we put him down we will have to go out and get another small dog for Lady. She was so lost the entire day without him yesterday. They have been together and never apart ever since the day we picked them out at the dog pound.
Yeserday morning when we went to take Duke in to the vets we intended on leaving her at home but OMG I never ever heard a dog do what she did. I swear she was screaming when we were trying to leave. She would not be here without her "brother". It was the most heart wrenching thing I've ever heard a dog do. So we then decided to take her, she was making the choice for us really. Thats why we would have to get her some "entertainment", by getting another dog. If we dont, my husband fears that after we put Duke down it won't be long before she will follow.
Who would of thought they would become like children to us.

I am still jobless, what once was nice is becoming kinda boring. Maybe when I can begin on my dream garden it will be better. Thats my goal as of this spring and summer. To concentrate on making my first garden ever. The family hasnt helped me adapt either...what little help I used to get around the house is now gone. I guess they think that my new job is the maid around here.

I've still been keeping in touch with most of the buddies from work. The majority of them are also jobless as well.
We need to have another unemployment party...well probably not but life is really throwing me some difficult curves right now. And I dont know if I can catch them.

Love to all and Thank you for the Friendships. Linda

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: The Gap Band -- You Dropped a Bomb on me