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Lizzie's Journal
Dear friend,
Today was an interesting day.
_____________
I wake up, in a normal mood. I just had a dream about Adam and Chad from camp. I go through my usual day-to-day routine. I search the kitchen for suitable breakfast food. Today was Banana Nut cake. wonderful. The little nuts were plain nasty. Anyhow, I get on my crappy little computor. Tiffany calls. We talk for a while. 'bout stuff. Later, after getting dressed, Tiffany and her driver mary come and pick me up. Mary is listening to Alicia Keys. She's smoking. I cough.
We hang out for a while. She has to go to court. Turns out i couldn't come. I stay at her house for bout an hour alone with her crazy, racist grandmother. I call my dad. He comes to get me even though he might be late for school. Tiffany gets back in time for him to drive us both to my house. We hang out for a few seconds, then go to the pool. That girl is a freaking people magnet. When she is around, people come to the pool in flocks. it's crazy. i'm going to chain her to the wall. I figured out the reason why nobody is ever around: Tiffany's not there. There's a bunch of black guys there, dunking people. I get dunked. Oh yea, one of our little games we have is that everyone in the entire pool gets out, and we all jumps in at the same time. fun fun.
Over all, i think this was the best day of summer I've had since Massachusetts..
BUT...
weird things happen.
It's late. Chris comes around. Chris and Tiffany start flirting. I am not alowed to tell the rest. Don't worry, Tiffany didn't loose anything and the only thing she got was a hikki.
While Chris and Tiffany were gone making out behind a dumpster(i guess i just told the rest >.>), I had time to take a walk by myself, and think. I sat on a car stop(that concrete thing on parking spaces) and just spaced.
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we're getting our truck repossessed. That's our only transportation. No car, no work, no school, no money. eventually, if things don't straighten otu, we'll be somewhere i don't want to be. I blame my mom. She's too fucking retarded to get a job and help my dad out. that bitch says "Waaaah, i wouldn't be happy at a job i didn't like..waaaah waaahhh" Fucking bitch. Get a clue, you won't be happy without a job. we need the money. My dad fucking works his ass off, atleast you could fucking get a job at S&T or something. asshole. I can't wait 'till i'm 18. i'm outta here. I'll be away from this deadbeat asscrack of a family and getting a degree and having a good life.
~Lizzie
Current mood:
apathetic.
ear Friend,
I have been reading back in my journel. 'tis interesting. Most of it is from last year. I can't believe i thought last summer was so boring. When i look back, I remember it being my own little adventure. I guess i only remembered the exciting parts. maybe that will happen next year. I look back on summer 2004 and say "that summer was wonderful!" Not likely.
If you are me reading in this is the future, i want me to remember how boring it was this summer. Nobody ever outside. Half of friends gone. 'twas emotionally confusing.
________________________
Went to a new church today. River of Glory. I made friends like 10 seconds after i got there. I haven't been to church in almost a year, and for a while i started to doubt this whole Christian thing. I've got alot of things going on in my head, and i'm amazed my brain still functions properly.
I can't wait 'till school starts. 8th grade- top of the school. 'cept the fact that we have the ugliest uniforms on earth, the idea is pretty welcoming.
then...highschool! w00.
Tiffany called.
I'm crazy.
___________
I have the sudden urge to do one of those 'about me' things. meep.
gender: Girl(who didn't know?)
Age: 13
birthday: October 16
height: 5'8"
weight: slim(why do you care?)
hair: brown with honey highlights from the stupid sun
eyes: brown. boring, boring brown.
bust: I don't know and you shouldn't care.
fave color: red, lime green, orange, black
fave TV shows: Whose line is it anyway, Futurama, Daria, Family Guy
fave food: whatever i feel like eating
pet peeve: there are lots.
music: Alternative rock
band: Modest Mouse and Trapped
fave variation of "fucking/fuck": frakking
most used word: "evil"
location:a little apartment in garland, Texas
whatever.
~Lizzie
Current mood:
calm.
Dear Friend,
Why don't they just shutup?
"You're keeping something from us." He says.
"You're not being honest and open with us." He says.
Dear Dad and mom(mostly Dad)
Maybe i don't want to be frakking honest and open with you. I know how you are. I know what you'll say. You'll lecture me till my ears melt. You'll tell me i shouldn't be doing this, i shouldn't be doing that. Maybe I just want you to LISTEN and comfort me. I know these things. I may not entirely know what the world is like, but sometimes it seems i know more about life than you do. Life isn't work, life isn't just doing everything by the book. I'm not like you. You haven't realized that. I want to see other things, know other people. you set no example for me. All i see from you is work, stress, depressing things and work. The message i get from what you say and how you is that I have to do everything you want, i have to think and act like you and that life is nothing but hardships.
no.
no no no no no.
I'm not like you. I rebelled. I read things, talked to people and did things behind your back. You said not to hang out with this friend, i did anyway. You said not to go into chatrooms. Now I know more people on the net than I know in real life. I am forming into my own person now. you can't stop me. You can't tell me what to listen to, what to watch or how to think. I'm not biased anymore, Dad. You brought me up, stuck a bunch of morals and other crap in me. Thank you. but now it's my turn to learn. I WANT to learn the hard way. I WANT to experience things. I'll stay out 'till 10:00, I'll go into a thousand chatrooms. I'll check out and islam church. I'll turn 18 before your eyes. I'll turn 18 and you can't control me anymore.
Thanks dad, but it's my turn now.
And Mom.
You don't set an example either. You're a crap mobile. You have no life. You sit around at home all with no friends watching TV and whining about your stupid little insignifigant perils. Stop thinking out loud. and i don't care what your bloodsugar is. i don't care if there isn't enough milk. you talk and whine and bitch all the time. SHUTUP. Just shutup and listen for once. Stop worrying about yourself for once. You live in this stupid little dream world. You can't drive. You can't operate a computor. You can hardly work a TV remote. I feel sorry for you. Your life is being wasted. Get out of your bubble and take a look at the world. You're a biased bitch. You think everything you know, think, and do is right and everybody else is wrong. Guess what. You're wrong. You're wrong for being like that. You're annoying, you nag and nobody wants to be around you. You have no friends. You have no life. You wonder why i don't respect you. Take a look at yourself. Take a look at what you tell me and how you tell me.
Thanks for makin' me, but just shutup.
Shutup.
I don't have an attitude because of my friends. i don't have attitude because of anything. My problem is you, mom and dad. You worry so much about yourselves and your theories that you fail to see who i am and who i am becoming.I am not like you. i don't even look like you.
I am my own person now.
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.
~Lizzie
Current mood:
aggravated.
Dear Friend,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I AM FRAKKING BORED OUT OF MY FRAKKING MIND AND THIS IS THE MOST BORING SUMMER OF MY LIFE!
NOBODY EVER IS OUTSIDE!
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?
WHY DID HALF MY FRIENDS HAVE TO MOVE AWAY?
WE HAVE TO HAVE FREAKING UNIFORMS THIS YEAR?? OH MY FRAKKING GOD.
~Lizzie
Current mood:
cynical.
Dear Friend,
I'VE GONE CRAZY!
My life has turned into one of those strange Teen novels.
1. School is out
2. go swimming
3. get a boyfriend. His name is Ryan. He says he's 15 but a friend said he is 17. So, I finnally decide i don't like him(three days after we get together). We haven't seen eachother in over a month, and i'm glad.
4. Go to massachusetts for vacation. Meet friends who are actually interested in what i have to say and can't get enough of me.
5. I find myself and realize that my kind of people live in the small town of Shellborn Falls tucked away in western Massachusetts. Finally realize that I am an intelligent, wonderful young lady and that all the people in texas are a bunch of Crap-headed fat bastards with nothing to do but gossip and hang around thinking they're oh-so-cool and better everyone else.
6.Come back to Texas. EXTREMELY bored. nothing to do. parents are butt nuggets, half of friends have moved away. Find out that I'M not moving, we were supposed to. Now has to unpack entire room. Is stuck in a ghost town of a neighborhood.
7. go swimming/
8. suddenly miss Jonathon, a guy who moved away about 8 months ago. Wishes he were here, swimming with me 'cause last summer was SO MUCH FUN when he and tiffany and some other friends were here. it is like a ghost town here.
--------
AND WHY THE HELL DID MY HOROSCOPE COME TRUE?
"You'll have romance on your mind and a new crush could pop up."
Sincerly, Liz
Current mood:
confused.
Dear Friend,
I just realized that I actully liked my life. Sure, I may not be as pretty,popular, smart or talented as I want to be, but I'm just fine the way I am. Sure, my life isn't perfect, but whose is? Infact, I wouldn't have my life any other way.
Just writing to say I'm happy,
~Liz
Current mood:
content.
Dear Friend,
bad bad bad.
I didn't jump as far as I wanted to on long-jump.
I didn't run as fast as I wanted to in the 200 (meter, yard?) dash. (31 secs. But that didn't get me on the team)
I didn't make it over the crossbar.
That's the painful part.
Ever heard of the high jump?
first two times-I stopped at the pole because I was scared of jumping over.
third time- definately not a charm.
I run the curve. I come up to the crossbar, leap off the ground. Incedentally, I hit the crossbar and everything goes black for a second. Opening my eyes, I see Coach Griffis infront of me, and everything is a bit blurred. I realized that the pole , loosely holding up the crossbar, had fallen over and hit me in the head. Hard. Slowly, I wobble towards the crowded line of girls waiting to jump the high-jump, wondering if I was ok. I feel the large knot protruding from my scalp, as my eyes water. Actully, I had no reason to cry. I didn't until later, but the bump didn't really hurt. As I rub my head while writing this, I can still feel that the bump is as large as it was this afternoon.
No matter the circumstances, I still had to walk 5 miles from the highschool to home, because my ride had to go somewhere after tryouts, and it turned out that she couldn't take me home. It was a nice walk, even though I got honked at once or twice. After almost an hour, I finnally made it home and had a pint of icecream and a brownie. Not to mention Gaterade, although I had needed it earlier. I definately plan on doing much better next year, when I'm in 8th grade.
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Nice, huh? I'm practicing my writing skills and telling about my Tryouts all at once.
Ok, now time for girly things!
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I'm soooooooooooo happy! overjoyed! relieved!
I FINNALLY FOUND LONG ENOUGH PANTS!
W00T! no more flooding! no more short pants! no more capris!
PRAISE ALMIGHTY GOD ON HIGH! HALELUJAH!
Ankles, thou shalt no longer show! Long legs, thou hath been DEFEATED!
And i quote,
"I feel happy for you and your pants."
-Tandra.
So, that is my life.
~Liz
Current mood:
cheerful.Current music: 97.1 The Eagle.
Dear Friend,
hello!! I'm back!
Yes, yes. I have written in my journal since...forever.. but, I have a lot on my hands!
a poem~
a haiku, actully
Feeling lost, alone
No one has shown me the love,
Apart from the rest.
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happy, sad, mad, alone
I've felt feelings of all sorts,
emotions run wild.
---------------
Not like it was then,
Things have changed so very much,
growing all the time.
Current mood:
contemplative.Current music: Talk shows all the way, man.
phrase of the day: bOy crAzY!
Dear Friend,
I can't beleive i haven't written in this long!! I feel so HORRIBLE! I promised i wouldn't stop writing,and i did!!! forgive me,please please please!! other news: I turned 13 on oct 16,2 days ago! I am a TEENAGER!!! woo-hoo!! yea...I love writing again,i'll do this everyday!! oh..how i feell guilty. But now i have so much write about!!! I have to write about my summer...school..everything!!
anyways...
Mr.napier never says hi to me!! it's like i was never his student last year!!! waaaaaah! Ferman(HIM) is SO last year...this year is.....J. i won't tell the whole name..because tiffany might see it!! But i tihnk she knows..i will absolutly not tell her.
My mom is such a wrench nowwa days!!! i wish she would just SHUTUP.I want to punch.
my site,lizzie's world,is shut down for the school year!! i won't work on it till summer!!!
oh my gosh..i just relized how close i am to highschool...eeee!!!
I joined an advice coloumn,http://advicenators.com or something like that. i am spoon.
taht's all for today
~Lizzie
Current mood:
awake.Current music: tv.