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Lovely

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take my hand, and we can conquer the world. [22 Nov 2002|06:26pm]
[ mood | sick. tired. exhausted. ]
[ music | Pixies - Pump up the Volume. ]

cannot forget - - - [[ i want to make an icon with jason and shiri. lyrics "i wanna give you whatever you need. what is it you need? is it within me?]] - - - i told Em, so I would remember. But, I fear she will forget. :smiles delicately: I am sure she has a lot of better things on her mind. And, I thought of it yesterday - and I loved the idea. I just don't want to forget. :nods sternly.: I have to finish my play tonight, and fax it to the playwright comp. tomorrow. :yawn.: And I am already tired. Lots and lots of coffee tonight!! Okay, well my foot is asleep and I need to nap breifly. Ack. My throat hurts!! I am going to tackle the next person who bothers me. :smiles: ... But, I will probably update more later.

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you make it all worth it. [20 Nov 2002|09:38pm]
[ mood | Happy. ]
[ music | bjork - unison. ]

Thank you for today. For everyday. For every moment. And thank everyone else who made my day... You know who you are. :smiles delicately.: You make everything okay in my life.

Are their words, Tony the Fucking Tiger.
I mean.. Are there? :blushes softly.: I don't believe there are. Not for you. Not for your beauty. Your perfection.

My day turned out to be... not bad, ... glorious one might say. Thanks to such special people who daily touch my lives the way - I should be glad to get in a lifetime.

My mother made me spagetti earlier, and it was divine. I do love my mother! :takes a deep breath: Good day. Yep, good day. I am going to go curl up in my sheets - and watch Dawsons Creek, that I missed... :nod.:

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you get my through with just a smile. [20 Nov 2002|03:02pm]
[ mood | sick. ]
[ music | beck - my fault. ]

Between Men sucking, and Woman swallowing - I hardly have time to catch my breath. :Slight smile: ... -shrugs lightly.- I got the joke.. I guess some people didn't think it was funny and it caused a huge fight. -sigh.- Sometimes people are silly. There are plenty of things I feel replused by, and offended by... :shakes head softly: but the joke of "woman swallow." that just isn't something I would get angry over. :taps fingernails lightly.: Last night, or this morning rather I woke up.. feeling really horrible at 5 a.m. - - took some medicine and fell back asleep... So I didn't go to school. I probably should have - I just.. I have no energy really lately. Perhaps, I haven't been sleeping enough. I thought I was. Anyhow, I am going to go to sleep somewhat earlier today and see how I feel.

I miss you !. Where are you? I wish I could know you were happy right now. Or smiling.. right now.

And you. I know you aren't feeling at your best. I hope you feel better in the near future. You are such an amazing friend. A true blushing poet.

And how could I forget my angelic wonder? I love you. My bestfriend. My angel. My wonder. My twin. My cherry tree. What haven't you done for me?

You are special people. Beautiful People. Strong People.

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love me. love me. say that you love me. [17 Nov 2002|10:08pm]
Saw Harry Potter 2 today, after watching the first one last night. Good good good.

Had orange chicken.

Spit up blood.

Cold.

Good day, overall.
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The world moves so --> fast sometimes. But >>you<< stay here with [[me.]] [13 Nov 2002|06:54pm]
[ mood | content. ]
[ music | beatles. happiness is a warm gun. ]

Dav - you have been such an amazing friend to me.. in the past.. month. Two months. Uncountable months. Thank you. You are my Blushing Poet.

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[[ Contemplate what I've been clinging to ]] [12 Nov 2002|10:55am]
I have a lot of journals now... But this is the only one I write as me, and I am thankful I have somewhere to outlet these problems....
---

I have been sick a lot lately, and my parents have stopped caring. If I won't go to school when I am ' ' getting sick ' ' - he threatens to ground me. When really he should take me to the hospital. I hate him. I didn't think it was possible to hate your own father, when he hadn't run out on you - - beat you - - or something of the sort. He does abuse me, but my scars are inside - - however corny that sounds. He has never hit me before, I don't think he ever would - ever will.... It's just. Some of the stuff he says to me.

' ' You are eating french fries, now? Why don't you have an apple? ' '
' ' Because, I don't want an apple. ' '
' ' I remember when you wouldn't touch that kind of stuff. ' '
' ' Yes, because I was anorexic. It's an eating disorder, Dad. I really don't think you should be talking about this. ' '
' ' I am just saying you looked a lot better then, you are looking alittle more than healthy now. ' '

I started to cry, and went to my room. I don't understand it.
My doctor still thinks I have an eating disorder - and he tells me I am almost a normal weight for my height. But, those numbers seem so high to me. So grossly high. -shakes head.- I don't know. Maybe, I am fighting a disease. But, is it really a disease? I feel such remorse sometimes when I eat. Other times, I don't care - but, when I think about it later I feel so sick.
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i saw a world enchanted. [10 Nov 2002|11:43pm]
i can't thank Dav enough for sharing icons with me. She is my blushing poet.
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take my hand, and we can conquer the world. [08 Nov 2002|01:09pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | dashboard confessional - jamie. ]

-shakes head.- Today was not a good idea. Nope. Nope. But - I feel better now. I left school early - and I am resting at Brandon's house. Although, he is at work. Tomorrow - I have Districts.. Bahhh. I am awfully excited. ALTHOUGH, I am still quite unsure how I will get home from them. They are very far away. -smiles lightly.- Ekk.

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[08 Nov 2002|01:09pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Now I am speaking zodiac with Dav. And that is my favorite thing to speak of...

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misery agrees with me. [05 Nov 2002|02:38pm]
-slowly opens eyes.- ...ow. my entire body aches. I slept a total of two hours last night. Two Hours. And, yes I have done that before - - but, usually I hadn't been going to school the next day. School was HELL. I couldn't eat. My stomach hurt too badly...

This is all the cause of .. stupid stupid stupid movie theater employees! They did this to me. Well, sort of. The story is - - -

Yesterday I was going to see 8 Mile. I was so excited. We get to the theater, with our Sneak Preview passes Abigail's mom gave us [she works for this really neat local newspaper/magizine thing.] - - We wait in this long ass line, finally give the ticketholder our Sneak Preview tickets, and she asks us for ID. Being how only one person drove 5 people.. Not many people had their ID's on them. Yes, yes, yes - - common sense.. Rated R movie, bring your ID. But, we got turned away. AND MISSED THE GOD DAMNED MOVIE. It's... It's him - and I missed it. Now, I have to watch it on Friday like the rest of the world. -frowns slightly.-

Anyhow - - Abigail's boyfriend... type thing... tells us he lives up the road. So we hop into Amanda's car and follow him there. "Up the road" turns into 20 minutes away. During this time, Amanda's car lights go out for some... reason.

We get to Brandon's. And, all I want to do is drink - being how I missed fucking Eminem! .. And all we had was Rum. Nothing to wash it down with. We searched through Abigail's Brandon's roomate's stuff [phew.] and we find some Coca Cola. Yesss. Rum and Coke. I drink it. Get drunk. Amanda offers me some adderal. Without thinking, I take it. And, she takes it. And then I get home. And can't fall asleep [ the god damned adderal.] so.. I am laying in bed. And somehow after... "getting sick"... a few times I fall asleep, this is at 11 p.m. - I awake at 1:00 a.m. somehow, and am UNABLE to get back to sleep. So I get on the computer, and speak with my beautiful twin Em, and the most amazing blushing poet Dav, for an hour or so before I went to lay back down. No sleep! I take one of my ambien - - [sleeping pills.] Not even then could I sleep. So, I .. fucking have been at school all day. On two drunken hours of sleep.

-takes a breath.-

I am finished.

........I am half alive, but a world away........
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i close my eyes and all the world drops dead.. [02 Nov 2002|11:55am]
Last night I made the huge mistake of going to see Punch Drunk Love. I was so excited for it. I thought it would be the most simply amazing movie I had ever experienced. But... it was time I completely wasted of my life. Brandon and I walked out of it 40 or 50 minutes into it. I have never walked out of a movie before. But, if I stayed in it... I think I may have done something horrible to myself, or to the movie screen. So, I do believe it was a good idea to get out of there. If any of you are in the slightest bit of doubt it was as horrible as I say... by all means, go see it. It is the only way you could possibly understand how horrible....

Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken. Ken.

You did this. You always do this. You always make me things... such beautiful things. And, you get nothing in return for doing it. Thank you so much. That is all I have to give you in return. And, I am sorry for that - - You deserve so much more. You deserve the world, really. But for now two words .... - thank you - So much. I wish I could express is words how much I simply adore you for who you are, and what you are. But, I don't believe I can... and that sadens me. But, my only hope is you understand this maze of rambling, and words I have written....

I just spoke with my most simply amazing, beautiful, talented, graceful, heavenly creature of a person. Or... Emma. My lovely twin. It was a very nice talk. -smiles lightly.-

I have never called myself Liz, Tess, or Isabel.... nor Shiri, Emile, or Katherine really. So this is alittle strange for me. I don't really think I am much like Liz. I do like her none the less. . . . . - - I did actually have a 'IsabelEvans918' SN... but, that was for OOC Rping - that Em and I used to do. It was very much fun.. and we should do it again sometime....

Halloween wasn't ... much fun. I just don't know what there is for us to do anymore. I mean, we couldn't... go trick or treating! .. So, parties? Well, yes and no. I wasn't in a party mood Halloween, so I just slept and rested with Brandon. Although, I am somewhat sad I didn't go to the Metro with my friend Amanda. It is a gay club - - - and there would have been so many Drag Queens. -smiles.-

Well. I should go get dressed, being how I have spent hours collecting pictures for my Bjork journal.

Thank you once more, Ken. You are an angel.
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