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[21 Aug 2003|12:37am] [ mood | complacent ] Geeks Circle I Limbo Goths Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind Bill Gates Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow The Pope Circle IV Rolling Weights Democrats, Republicans Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled River Styx General asshats Circle VI Buried for Eternity River Phlegyas Rednecks Circle VII Burning Sands Hipsters Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies Circle IX Frozen in Ice Design your own hell post comment

[27 Jul 2003|10:16pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Marcy Playground - "Sex and Candy" ] you give me a funny feeling in my tummy post comment

Don't think I'll finish it. [23 Jul 2003|09:19pm] All your lights are burning out against the dark and dreary sky, And the wind is chasings anything that fills your empty spaces. You try to say, "I should have known", but the words just burn your throat. Just like your lips, bleeding from where you chased the butterflies away. Now your tears are falling, and hitting the windshield hard like the rain, Somewhere far off you hear the latest blue tune on the radio. You can feel your personality fade, and you only wish that you were someone else. And it's like your heart is breaking, and you can only pray that you don't feel the pain. post comment

[22 Jul 2003|03:39am] [ mood | touched ] [ music | Berlin - "Take my Breath Away" ] I know it's weird, considering I have talked with him face to face yet [ which will hopefully be this weekend, at Skyline Drive or something.. ] I'm really starting to like him. He's easy to talk to, and just.. Wow. Yanno? I can't stop smiling, unless someone annoys me and it just feels really awesome. I understand what he told me though. :) I need to ask him how long he's going to be in Chicago. Hopefully it'll be during band camp, or something. At a point in time where I'm busy, you know? He says I have a pretty voice.. God. He kicks ass. He thinks I'm funny, and stuff, too. He thinks I'm everything I don't think I am. :) Hopefully, I don't scare him off. That'll suck. Blah. I need to go to the mall for smell good stuffs. And buy a new desk, and some paint for the wall, as well as talk to dad about moving my room stuff around. post comment

[21 Jul 2003|10:26am] [ mood | good ] [ music | Pink Floyd - "Comfortably Numb" ] Blaah. Yes. I'm going to keep posting things about our conversation last night [ David and I's ]... We were talking about past relationships last night.. He knows Laura. Doug's girlfriend. Said he met Doug once -- said he looked like one of those really stupid looking people. I was amused. I told him everything. He said he didn't really want to be friends with Laura anymore, since she and Doug did that shit to me... Hee. He's really smart.. We were talking about religion issues, and he knows a lot of stuff about all kinds of religions.. He said he knew all kinds of stuff like that, that would never be any use in life. It just makes him more interesting. I told him things that I've never told people before... and he didn't care. He just listened. It was nice.. We even talked about why we like our fetishes and stuff. Hehe. He can wiggle his ears. :) I hope I get to see that this weekend at Skyline Drive. We talked about how my mother basically annoys the shit out of me. How basically everyone annoys the shit out of me. He even noticed how my voice sort of changed, after Mom bitched at me.. heh. He wasn't like "Oh well she must be a bitch" .. or anything like that. He was like "She must really aggravate you." he also said not to let it get to me, because it's trivial. Everyone annoys him. Well, people that don't annoy him are his parents and his friends and stuff... He played his guitar.. as I mentioned in my last post. He played the Mario theme song, the Zelda theme song, and my favorite Alice Cooper song. We talked about other various things, and then my grandmother's music box played on its own. I guess I kind of took it as a sign, and started to be more flirtatious. I also got nervous, and shy. He told me not to be, around him. :) So that's just about around where he told me "You take my interest.. and that's usually a very hard thing to do" And I blushed super bad. And I told him he took mine too. After that he said "I really don't want to upset you or hurt you but I don't know if I'm ready to have a girlfriend right now, since I'm really busy and it would be unfair to you, to have you not talk to me and have to worry and stuff.." and I was like "That's all right", because it was. It didn't make me sad or anything. :D I guess it kind of surprised him that I wasn't like that. He said "It is? .. because you know.. I'd really love to get to know you better.. but once you start labeling things and giving things titles.. that's where everything goes downhill" .. he was talking about being like "Oh so and so and I are dating" .. "So and so is my boyfriend/girlfriend" .. I told him I wouldn't do that.. and I think that surprised him too. Blah. He makes me smile. I can't stop smiling. I'm going to go for now. Chances are the majority of my posts are going to mention David, so if you're tired of it yet, then I would suggest not to read it anymore. post comment

[21 Jul 2003|01:45am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Silence ] David called me today. He played his guitar for me. :) We talked from everything from Mario to my wall, to phobias to lesbian barbies, to my mother to how people are annoying, to religon to capital's band, to tim burton to old cartoons, to plays to riding in hearses to prom. He says I take his interest............ and he'd love to get to know me better. I told him the same thing... I have the worst case of the butterflies ever. The last minute of our conversation: Me: "Aw.. You sound tired.. want me to let you go to sleep?" Him: "I'm really tired.. but I don't want to stop talking to you" Me: "Aw.." Him: "Can I call you tomorrow night?" Me: "Of course." Him: "All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow then." Me: "Okay." Him: "Bye bye." Me: "Bye." post comment

[12 Jul 2003|02:30am] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Bryan Adams - "I do it for you" ] My eyeliner is starting to burn my eyes, Starting to color my tears, and stain my cheeks. My heart has been to left to fester with lies, eat away with hate, and simply disappear. There hasn't been a day, where the phone rings, And I want it to be your voice on the other line. There hasn't been a night, where I cuddle a pillow And I wish it were you, and dream about you. But all the promises are broken, all the swears denied. I reread forgotten memories, wishing you were here by my side. You say it's my fault, I'm paying for it, we're done. And still, I make myself believe that you'll always be the one. 2 comments|post comment

I wish... [17 Apr 2003|08:53pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Kill Hannah - "Sleeping like Electric Eels" ] I were pretty. I were talented. I were intellegent. I were a good friend. I didn't bite my nails. I didn't cry all the time. I didn't like anybody anymore. I didn't bother people with my problems. I wasn't so bitchy. I wasn't dull/stupid. I wasn't a hypocrite. I wasn't so ungodly messy. I had someone to trust. I had some sense of religion. I had a will to start living again. I had someone that loved me for me. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah. Admire my self-centeredness. Jon. I love your boobs. 2 comments|post comment

Awwwwwww [13 Apr 2003|12:21am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Seether - "Fine Again" ] Tina Fey said Jimmy Fallon has a small penis. But I love his penis anyway. So. I never update this. x.o .. So. Imma put some more shit I wrote on it. If anyone comments, just IM me. SN: Lovely Nitemare.... or e-mail me at: lovelynitemare@aol.com.. I'm down on the bad side of town, And abandoned buildings seem to scream your name, Dying streetlights resemble the faded feelings in your eyes, But now I'd rather fucking die than bring it back. You'd sweetly rapture my insides, ripped apart my hanging heart, And still I managed to forget the tears I'd cried, All for another chance to be embraced in your warm, but deadly cold arms. Kill me, kill me, voluptuous lies never thrilled me. Candy acid and heroin needles can cloud the memories installed into my corrupted mind, But I can't ever make up the wasted time on you. And the emptiness I thought you ate away has increased in size, I'm deemed to be in a rotten candy land; lain down, chained down, and the feelings can't fly away. I wouldn't mind, but even breathing brings pain Your lips are encased in the purest of lithium, Just enough in one kiss to make me forget You don't feel the same. Push me harder. Let me take away your pain. Use me and take me farther. You know I'll come back in the end. The molasses stitches bind me to you. You're the oxygen that turns the glow to a fire in my heart The mercury to poison my insides, my air of toxic fumes. Guess I must have been wishing on someone else's star. Love is nothing, unless its the acidic burns on my insides; letting me fade away -- there's no more lessons left to learn. Now that you're back after so many days, Reopening the emotional scars from candy decorated razor blades I can't keep tears from falling, and in my head, only memories, like silent movies, are slowly crawling. So let my heart fester and rot, with everlasting pain, because inside my glass veins, the blood clots. I am nothing but a suicide autopsy, Your cursed, kissed, piece of glass, And I just can't put you in the past.. post comment

[07 Mar 2003|05:28pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Ahh! Real Monsters ] Untiteld #6 The memories are playing in my head, Our tender moments, your precious lies. And all the tears, the pain, the drugs to help inside, Never broke the ice of feelings for you. Can't forget the high hopes. Can't forget the knocks to the ground. Every time I close my eyes; picture shows of you start Subtract the sounds. Stick the needles in my eyes. Make me believe. Make me real. I want you to come back. Bring be back to life. The rain from storms lets me feel your lips. Harsh winds bring your touch, The puddles even match the look in your eyes. And yet I'm left to wonder why I'm all alone. 3 comments|post comment

Holy hell! People read this.. [02 Mar 2003|08:50pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Jack Off Jill - "Choke" ] Yay I have plus thingies.. erm. But yeah, people who actually read this and stuff, I love you. :) 'Cept fatprostitute. Whoever that is. Kiss my ass. :) Poem: Untilted And now I'm left with memory games of lonely Valentine's days, kisses to blind candy rotted truth. Sequin tainted tears could fall for days, nothing left but a lonely eternal rest on a pillow of virus loathed lace. Crisscrossed plastic scars are among my callused heart; barbed wired, hanging for you. Toxic lies still linger in my ears, from the days you were mine. Our star crossed forever could never last that long. post comment

Oh baby oh baby [23 Feb 2003|07:20pm] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | Sof Cell - Tainted Love ] what decade does your personality live in? quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd post comment

Kinky, sex quiz results.. ooooh. [23 Feb 2003|04:20pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Nena - "99 Red Balloons" ] What lame pick up line are you? Your Hidden Sexual Talent is Talking Dirty All the dirty things you speak, Make your lovers go totally weak. "Kiss me here, lick me there. Parade around in your underwear." What's *Your* Hidden Sexual Talent? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva Your Daddy is the Pope! And you want penance, don’t you? Yeah. Say that Hail Mary. Say it! Yeah. Who's *Your* Daddy? More Revealing Gay Quizzes @ Gay Personality You Are 100% Skilled @ Giving Blowjobs! Woo Hoo! You are 100% skilled when it comes to sucking dick. Who could have thought that one person could possibly suck and blow at the same time. You have got it going on in the tongue tango department. Your lover is the luckiest man alive. You know how to handle Mr Happy in every way unimaginable. In your eyes, the penis is your friend. You enjoy giving oral sex, and it is without a doubt enjoyed! Think You're Good at Giving Head? Don't Be Sure. "How Does Your Blowjob Rate?" Quiz Reveals All! More Revealing Gay Quizzes @ Gay Personality Your Ideal Guy is a Straightboy! True, most straight boys have wives, but it doesn’t mean they can’t show you a good time. They've got it bad for the dick, and you can help them out. It gives you a rush to call Straight Boy's house, hoping that his woman won't answer. Even more thrilling is fucking him where... well, where his woman would never dare go. You'll have hot quickies on office copy machines during the wee hours of the morning. You'll crawl out of his window when his woman comes home, exhausted from all the great fucking. This type of relationship is purely sexual, no strings. So go out and find yourself a straight boy of your own and stop dreaming of one. There might be one right under your nose.. Who is Your Ideal Guy? Find Him with This Easy Quiz! More Revealing Gay Quizzes @ Gay Personality You Are So Gay! You came out of the closet at around 3 years old and have stayed out. Mmm, you enjoy nothing more than a man with large hands to push your head down. You love being receiving end and pant like a dog on heat. Ever judged someone's personality on the shape of his ass? Thought so! Busted! Are You Gay? More Revealing Gay Quizzes @ Gay Personality Your Sexual Energy is White! You exude an innocent and pure sensuality. Sure, you've got experience, but you still seem very "fresh." You don't have a kinky bone in your body, except playing into virgin fantasies :-) You attract those who want a uncorrupted, pure lover. You prefer partners that extra gentle and careful with you. The kinkiest you ever get is a little emotional bdsm - but even that makes you uneasy. You don't have to work to meet lovers, as they usually approach you. And they've got their work cut out for them... You're very selective - as you should be. Ready to spice things up a little? Try playing around with some sexual sophistication. Trade the whites and pinks in your closet for blacks and reds! Celebrities with your pure sexuality include Jennifer Love Hewitt and Drew Barrymore. Consider people with orange, yellow, and purple sexual energies for incredible sexual matches! What Color is Your Sexual Energy? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva post comment

Gasp. Blurty Journal? [23 Feb 2003|12:44am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Foo Fighters on SNL ] Well, this is my *new* journal, I have a deadjournal.. which I used as my website link. How ever so creative. Anyways, I want to post poetry in here, even though I seriously doubt anyone is going to read it. :) Non-Pristine Queen Oh no, she's crying another blood kissed tear, A mirror glazed knife is in her back, Her bliss is so disposable, Music box wires unwind her hidden fears. She'll make glitter filled prayers, Unheard cries for an eternal friend. She'll get lost in the see through of your mind, Always ends up dead in the end. Her plastic molten butterflies have all flown away, Her spiderweb stitches have come undone She'll live more loveless lonely days Without anymore dead stars to wish upon. She'll make glitter filled prayers, Unheard cries for an eternal friend. She'll get lost in the see through of your mind, Always ends up dead in the end. She's cut out like paper stars from the sky, Unwanton wrists left marred and slashed, She'll scrape away your happy glow as a fire fly's, And in your final moment she asks "Do you feel alive now?" She'll make glitter filled prayers, Unheard cries for an eternal friend. She'll get lost in the see through of your mind, Always ends up dead in the end Me. 2 comments|post comment

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