Blurty for Little Leah.

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Tuesday, December 27th, 2005

Subject:50 Random things about Me.
Time:8:11 pm.
Mood: amused.
1. I LOVE grilled cheese. As in, I-could-eat-it-every-day-and-never-get-tired-of-it love it!

2. Under The Tuscan Sun is near the top of my all time favorite movies list because the main character doesn't find what she's looking for until all her plans fail and she stops to look at her life and realizes all of her dreams are already in front of her. It's all in the way you choose to look at life!

3. I tell myself every time I clean my bedroom/kitchen/bathroom/car/purse etc... that I'm going to keep it clean this time.

4. It never works--I'm messy again in a week, TOPS.

5. I love buying nice smelling lotions and fancy skin & hair care products, but I hardly ever remember to use them.

6. I wish I was one of those people that had the drive to go above and beyond in everything they did.

7. I wish I'd been faced with more challenges--having trouble in school or being poor or something... I think I'm lazy because nothing in my life has ever been difficult. I've always skated by with no problems.

8. I have 2,611 MP3 files on my computer. I can't remember the last time I listened to music off my computer.

9. I take pictures of EVERYTHING, and as I'm taking them, I write the captions in my head that I plan on writing next to them in a scrapbook or photo album.

10. I never thought I'd be one of those people--but I have jeans on the top shelf in my closet that are too small and I keep telling myself I'll wear them again someday.

11. I love to read but I almost never do it because TV is easier and mindless.

12. My life would be much less stressful if I just did what I needed to do and didn't waste my time avoiding the things I need to do.

13. I hate it when people don't replace the toilet paper roll when they use one up. I hate it WAY more if they replace it but leave it sitting on the counter like it'll jump on the holder by itself.

14. I keep way too much crap. I need TLC's Clean Sweep to come in and make me throw things away, but I'd never do it because then I'd have to throw stuff away.

15. I want to get married and have kids so much that sometimes it makes me crazy. But at the same time, I really like my life how it is now.

16. I really miss people that I haven't seen in a long time, but I'm really bad at keeping in touch.

17. I like the fact that my life hasn't followed the "normal" path of high school for 4 years, college for 4 years, graduation, wedding, great job, etc... but I still have a hard time explaining that to people when they ask--I feel like I have to spend a lot of time justifying myself. But generally they're not judging me--I am.

18. I love new office supplies. If you gave me the choice between a $500 gift certificate to a clothing store OR to staples, I'd have a REALLY hard time choosing.

19. I want to live somewhere warm, like Arizona or Florida.

20. I want my old job back the way it was with Dan and Josh and I running Crosswalk. I liked it.

21. I really want to get a job on a cruise ship this summer working in the children's programming on board.

22. I'm scared to death to leave for 4-6 months if I do get the cruise ship job. I think people will move on with their lives, get new friends and forget me or cut me out of their lives.

23. I probably only think that because I have a ridiculously overactive lack of self-confidence that convinces me that people don't like me a lot more often that it is true.

24. If I wear perfume, it's Estee Lauder Pleasures.

25. I started wearing Pleasures because I had a free trial bottle of it a long time ago and my friend Chris grabbed my wrist when he smelled it on me and told me it reminded him of someone from high school and said that now he'd always think of me too when he smelled it, so I started wearing it all the time.

26. I want to live alone, but I don't have any money and I like Kristin :)

27. I think I'd hate living alone after a while, because I get bored and lonely with nothing to do and no one to talk to... there's only so much cleaning I can do to keep myself occupied before I go crazy.

28. My lucky numbers are 15 and 31, and have been from the time I won a drawing at our school store in Elementary school with those numbers.

29. I don't really believe in lucky numbers. I think it's silly.

30. I think "Flowers in a Can" is the coolest thing I've seen in a while-flower seeds, soil, plant care tips all wrapped up in a can that you can buy at CRAZY!

31. I have a "label buddy" that punches letters into the sticky back label tapes, and I think it's even cooler than "Flowers in a Can."

32. I often forget to water my plants, and they get near death, but I revive them at the last moment. Sorry plants.

33. Craft supplies are another one of my weaknesses, along with the office supplies. Hobby Lobby and Michaels are some of the best stores on earth.

34. I'm finally finished with college, and I kind of wish I could go back and start all over again.

35. I sat in the back row at college graduation. Not by choice, but hey, I ended up right in line with where my parents were sitting.

36. I really don't know how I ever survived without a cell phone... and at the same time, I never wanted one that badly until I got it.

37. I think home-made Chex mix is SO much better than the stuff you buy at the store, so I stock up on those little packs of seasoning at Christmastime so I can make it later in the year.

38. I wish I had longer finger nails, or that I could afford to get acrylics all the time, because I think they make you look feminine.

39. I love pictures and picture frames, so I have them all over the place, on every available surface.

40. I can't wait to have my own house so I can do all my own decorating and such.

41. I also can't wait to have my own house so I can have more storage, and can put stuff wherever I want it.

42. I check my bank accounts online all the time, but I almost never bother to open my bank statement when it comes in the mail.

43. I have a filing cabinet that has a huge stack of papers inside of one drawer, and all my empty file folders in the other. (oops)

44. I love the magazine REAL SIMPLE. Love, love, love it.

45. I really like Martha Stewart now that she's done with jail. She's much more real and actually can make fun of herself on her new show.

46. I somehow manage to lose all my hair ties and nail files, and I don't really know how.

47. I had an awesome ASU sweatshirt at one point in time, and I can't find it anymore. I really miss it, and it makes me sad.

48. I just bought my first CMU sweatshirt ever last week. I went there for 4.5 years, and didn't buy any sweatshirts until after graduation.

49. I love buying stationery and cute cards, but I don't like to use them because then I won't have them anymore. I know that completely defeats the point of buying them, and I think I'm goofy, but I still don't use them.

50. I put my clothes in the closet and on shelves in rainbow order... and I love it!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, February 11th, 2005

Time:3:53 pm.
Mood: sick.
Music:shane & shane - psalms.... listen to them. they are sweet.
so let me just share with you all (all 2 of you who may read this).... being sick is the stupidest thing in the world. my recommendation is that you NEVER do it. ok? ok. deal.

however, it was kind of nice to just lay around today and not do ANYTHING.... missing work is not the best plan, but it was nice to sit around and watch TV for 6 hours.... too bad i gave up TV for lent. i guess that went out the window with my health. sorry.

so tonight should be good though. my honey is coming over early to hang out with me since i haven't seen him much this week, and we're going to eat my yummy tombstone stuffed crust pizza--- best frozen pizza on earth next to freschetta (yes, they make delicious pizzas, for your information-- get them. they're good).... and then i will hopefully feel better. have to bowl tonight with the gang, wake up tomorrow way early to do some crosswalk stuff-- helping them bake cookies for old people so they can deliver them on sunday to the oldies homes around here... and then jenni & tim's wedding tomorrow! :) hooray! and i have the CUTEST date :) haha

anyway, i have to go clean some stuff up--- clean out the drain in the bath tub so i can take a shower without standing in ankle-deep dirty water (i know it's gross, but if i have to deal with it, you get to hear about it, so hush)... and then i have to clean the kitchen because it's SO ridiculously dirty... me being sick and kristin being busy and the dishwasher being full of clean dishes for a whole week now means the kitchen is a disaster. so much for my 3 hours of cleaning last weekend. oh well. i like cleaning the kitchen. it is fun for me. the pulling the grody hair and junk out of the bathroom drain--- not so much--- but it must be done. wish me luck.

i love the word "y'all", just so you know. i shall use it often. i want to be from the south. let's all move there. it's warm there too.

y'all come back now, y'hear?

shut up, you know you love me
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 27th, 2005

Subject:smelly feet, smelly feet, it's not your fault....
Time:10:19 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:kristin cleaning her feet in the bathroom so she can go to sleep without them smelling up her room.
so someone i live with (to remain nameless) just made me laugh out loud:

"so yes, it is my feet that smell like vinegar. i came up here, and i was confused because the smell followed me up stairs... and then i realized it was my feet."

oh roommate, i love you!
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, January 26th, 2005

Subject:oh the craziness
Time:11:10 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Music:Bebo Norman... gotta love it.
so for those of you who don't know, i have a wonderful boyfriend. sorry to all you guys out there who were pining after me (haha); i'm off the market. you'll probably hear a lot about Chad as i post more, so if you see the name, that's who i'm talking about! :)

yesterday was such a good day. i went to bed at 11:00 on Monday night, and didn't get up until 8:45 yesterday, so with nearly 10 hours of sleep, i was good to go. it felt so good yesterday being well rested and able to keep up with my day. i worked with children's ministries for a bit, making coffee and printing off labels and that sort of menial work, which is good and bad at the same time. it's just hard at the beginning of a job, when you don't really know what's going on. since i've been working with senior high since last may, and interned there before that and volunteered even before that, the combined 1.5 years have helped me to really get a grasp on all of what is going on there. part of the reason why i took the job down in children's was to get a similar idea of what goes on down there. but it takes a while, and thats hard for me since i'm so used to knowing everything in senior high at this point.... i'll get there though. i just need to learn to be patient. :)

and now i'm going to get on my soap box for a moment:
so i was reading Ezra 9 the other day, and Ezra tears his clothes for the people of Judah who have returned to Jerusalem and aren't doing things quite right, getting back into mixing with the other people around them who aren't God's chosen people.... starting back down the path toward destruction basically... so anyway, Ezra tears his clothes in grief, and bows down before God to pray vehemently for forgiveness... even though HE has not participated in this sin. but it just shows his extreme grief for sin in general; the seriousness of sin. and i wonder if we as Christians don't take it seriously enough most times... because, hey! we're forgiven! it doesn't matter if we sin, right? we're already guaranteed a spot in heaven, so as long as we say we're sorry afterward, it doesn't really matter. but at the same time, we sit there and judge others around us who don't know the Lord yet, and think how much better we are because they are sinning and AREN'T forgiven.... what the heck?? That is just silly... sin is sin is sin... whether we're already forgiven or not. God doesn't love us anymore after we accept Christ. He loves us all. The same. and we're called to do that as well. we as Christ-followers KNOW that sin is an offense against God. Non-Christians don't really have that mindset. it says somewhere in Romans or something that the Law doesn't set us free and that before the law, sin didn't exist. If we don't know it's wrong, why WOULDN'T we sin? Let's be honest-- it's fun. That's why it's TEMPTING. (and you can make an argument for moral absolutes that everyone agrees to, but just go with me on this.) So, if we are judging people, where does that leave us room to love? and since when have you ever heard of someone coming to church and giving their life over to Christ because they were made to feel GUILTY?? yeah, NEVER maybe?? they are drawn to us by our LOVE for one another and for them. God IS love. it says it all over the Bible. God is just, and God is holy. but HE is the judge. WE are called to LOVE...

just a thought.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, January 16th, 2005

Subject:nerd clothes and the usual suspects
Time:9:47 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
Music:chris tomlin - arriving.... GOOD CD.
so today was a blast :) for church this morning, we were talking about Colossians 3... taking off the old self and putting on the new, and how when you become a Christian, there are things in our lives that we have to get rid of because they just don't fit.... so the student ministries staff & interns wore outfits that were supposed to be "the opposite of our normal style/personality".... Dan was goth-- so funny... and Ann (who is very simple and never wears makeup) had a cheerleader outfit.... etc... Dan decided that i should dress like a complete DORK! thanks for that, Knuff! I had on a tan wool skirt from kristin that hung really low around my calves, a collared shirt buttoned all the way up with a sweater over top, and white ankle socks with brown loafers.... plus i put my hair in pig tail braids, and wore my (broken) glasses taped together..... wow. i got some looks, let me tell ya! the best part was when students would ask me why i was dressed that way and i would reply with something like "what? you don't think this fits me?" (our pre-determined answer to all questions)... some of the students were pretty taken aback by my line, and actually apologized and said i looked really cute. i don't know what they were smoking, but it was good to see that they're sensitive... haha.

then i got to sit through the rest of church in the stupid outfit while dan ran off to pick up his wife and new baby from the hospital (yay!) and Scott & Ann changed!! boo... and i stayed in my cool clothes so Chad could see me when he showed up for work at 1.... wow, i certainly had to let go of my pride a little today. :) haha

so then i came back and kristin and i continued the cleaning fest (i started last night) so we could have people over tonight and not be embarrassed :) it was quite nice getting everything pretty and organized. my bedroom is still a disaster, but we're getting better.... no clean clothes on the floor anymore-- they all made it into the closet. the problem is, i have sliding doors on my closet, and 3 of them at that, so it's hard to keep the right one open at all times as i have to get different things out, so putting the clothes away takes so much effort to open the right area for the hanging clothes, and shove the 3 doors out of the way, then move it again to get to the folded clothes area, and then again to put away shoes/bags/etc.... then again, if i didn't let it pile up and put things away as i used them, i wouldn't have to open so many doors at once.... oh well.

so then tonight chad and paul and chad's friend kevin, kristi, catherine, and jeremy all came over for cards, pizza, and most importantly --- to watch the Usual Suspects. i love that movie. i didn't get reactions yet from kristi and chad, but i promised them it was a great movie, so i'll have to find out what they think. Chad promised a good time with napoleon dinomite though, and i didn't love that as much as he does, so who knows. it was a fun night though. we should have people over more often.... it's fun.

so anyway, i'm off to bed so i can wake up tomorrow morning to babysit all three kids ALL DAY because they have school off (stupid MLK)... while chad and paul have the day off to sleep in and goof off because they also have school off... :( sad for me. oh well. good night!
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 13th, 2005

Subject:too funny not to pass along
Time:9:37 am.
Mood: amused.
Music:a work out video! yes! i'm going to work out! :).
How to Clean House

1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
7. Feel better?

hahahahaha :) have a great day!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:only because i love chad and kristi so much.
Time:3:03 am.
Mood: silly.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

and because i just LOVE that movie (or not, but hey, whatever)
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:new years resolutions 2005
Time:2:32 am.
Mood: satisfied.
Ok, well here is the long awaited (probably by no one but myself) list of resolutions for this year: (i figured now that it's half way into january, i should probably get them written down)

1. Post more on here. because i said in the one a little while ago that i would have that as one of my resolutions

2. Keep up with my daily devotional time, and keep a prayer journal. something i'm doing ok at right now, and the prayer journal has been sweet over the last few weeks as i've really seen God answer my prayers... and i'm making it into a resolution so that i'll keep it up...

3. Work out. I'm such a slacker, and I'm really out of shape. I need to get in better condition, and i have the stuff i need to do that, even at home. i just need to DO it. sitting on the couch just isn't helping me look or feel better.

4. Trust God. with EVERYTHING. I tend to trust Him with the easy stuff, but try to control the stuff that i'm just not quite willing to give up and let someone else be in control of. But the more I see of Him, the more I know that He is completely trustworthy, and the more I know that He'll do a much better job than i ever could!

5. Keep the house clean. Especially my room. my room is consistently the messiest in the house, and it's making me crazy. i have a good organizational system (i'm really anal--my clothes on the shelves and hanging in the closet are even in rainbow order.... oh i'm such a nerd), but i just need to get the stuff in it! i get started cleaning, but because there is so much STUFF in the room, i can't get around to clean it very well, and it just adds up and adds up and i HATE it! ack! but then again i can't find the motivation to clean it, even though i hate it so violently.... ugh. wish me luck.

6. "Be mistaken for Jesus Christ every once in a while." chad said something like that on his site a while back, and i like it. something i really should strive for more often.

i'll have to figure out some more later. for now, it's almost 3 am and i need to go to bed :) good night
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, January 9th, 2005

Subject:fun times at trinity church....
Time:12:18 am.
Mood: chipper.
so i apologize for missing a day yesterday :)

yesterday was fun times in the children's wing, working with carmon and belinda, watching belinda beat everyone in settlers (a super cool game! --- that i will never learn to play and am only going to give you the previous statement as a peace offering in hopes that you'll all give up and realize i just really don't want to play).... i'm enjoying the new job so far but i can't wait for the point in time when i know what's going on enough to not have to ask Belinda or Carmon what to do....

so then we had our ministry team/staff all-nighter mini-retreat.... it was a blast. we talked about crosswalk and what we're up to this year, voted on mission trips, and just got to hang out together for a bit... we went ice skating at the summit, which was really fun because kristi and chad came along. always a good time with them around. chad took some really nice pictures of me and kristi by pulling the camera out of his pocket in the middle of our conversations and snapping unfocused shots of us with our eyes closed and mouths wide open, i'm sure. thanks Chadley.

i went home to sleep because i'm a pansy and my back hurt too bad to sleep on the floor again... and when i came back in the morning, i helped clean the church. Half of our group went out to feed homeless people in Lansing, and the rest of us cleaned. it was fun though, because i ended up staying for most of the day and helping Chad and Paul..... well, really i mostly watched them do work, but i had fun :)

then it was home for dinner with mom and dad, and we went to see spanglish. it was ok. rent it. don't waste your money at the theatre....

and now i'm off to bed so i can wake up in the morning. g'night!
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, January 7th, 2005

Subject:because i haven't done one in a while and i got this one in my email today :)
Time:12:57 am.
Mood: amused.
a. Leah
b. LeeLee
c. Lisa (one of our family friends can't remember my correct name apparently)
d. um.... that may be it.... chad calls me mom.... too much vicadin

a. i'm forgiving
b. i know how to knit :)
c. i kept most of my new years resolutions last year
d. i laugh a lot and enjoy life

a. not hate, but i wish i was better about being on time
b. i am no good at mario kart
c. i wish i liked more vegetables so i'd eat healthier
d. my room is a mess... it's driving me crazy

what does that mean? i don't know and i don't feel like thinking so i'm skipping it.

a. trinity church--- where i spend 80% of my waking moments.
b. crunchys on kareoke night-- always fun
c. my townhouse--- i like being home sometimes.
d. wherever my friends are--- sounds cheesy, but i can't think of any other specific place

a. playing barbies with my sis
b. making up the game car alert (man, we were weird)
c. hanging out with krissy w. and making "KLS Express" commercials in the basement with her dad's old camcorder.
d. i was a geek and a half and i loved every minute of my life

a. dark windows at night when i'm inside-- i'm afraid someone will jump in front of them and scare me
b. my neighbors walking around when i'm home alone--- it sounds like someone is in MY place
c. that some people i love will never come back to church
d. that we're all missing out on what God really wants His Church to look like

a. hate
b. bigotry
c. lying
d. salad

a. deodorant (you're welcome)
b. underwear
c. my keys
d. oxygen

a. blue tank top
b. pink fleece pants
c. pink fleece hoodie
d. black socks

a. shane & shane
b. bethany dillon
c. david crowder band
d. jeremy camp

a. i didn't really like them (8th grade)
b. they didn't really like me (11th grade)
c. i realized there was no way on earth i was going to marry them (last year)
d. that's it....

a. potatoes of any kind
b. cheese ravioli with meat sauce
c. stouffers frozen mac n cheese
d. christmas cookies and chex mix

a. love
b. honesty
c. passion for God and growing together
d. me

a. love for God
b. love for others
c. honesty
d. humility

a. snowboard -- i've never tried though
b. play the guitar -- but i'd love to learn
c. hold my breath for longer than one minute -- that's ok though
d. eat my body weight in spaghetti -- yeah, i know i'm random

a. shopping
b. football (watching and playing)
c. sleeping
d. knitting

a. a new car
b. more hours in the day
c. a magic wand
d. world peace (sorry, too much Miss Congeniality)

a. youth ministry
b. childrens ministry
c. stay at home mom
d. thats pretty much it

a. anywhere warm
b. costa rica -- beautiful country
c. arizona -- i miss it
d. anywhere warm

a. get married and have kids
b. lead someone to Christ
c. make a difference
d. really live

woo hoo that was fun. you know you loved it. :)
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 6th, 2005

Subject:mario kart rules
Time:1:13 am.
Mood: sleepy.
so tonight, crosswalk was really cool. we did a community meal, with just discussion in round tables. no worship, no speaking. just fellowship. and real discussion.... it was nice
i think we're going to do it the first week every month this year.... something different, to get our group talking to each other, and talking to new people, and having real conversations other than just what clothes they bought at the mall this week or who they have a crush on (ok, maybe i've been spending too much time with girls :) haha)
the second week will be an "outreach" night where we do something to attract other people... having a cool band come in, doing "fear factor" (the choice for this month), etc....
the third week will be our "options" night.... where we come in and do a few songs and announcements and a short testimony... then we split into a number of--yes, you guessed it--OPTIONS.... a worship/deep Bible study group, a leadership group for guys, a small group for girls, a movie area, hanging out in the cafe/youth room (mor fellowship), 3-on-3 basketball or something of that sort in the gym..... where kids at all kinds of spiritual levels can find a place to fit in and something they want and are comfortable with.
and the fourth will be a deep worship/prayer/teaching night....
we're going to see if that helps bring in lost kids and deepen the community within our group, because those are two things we really need. i'm really excited..... God can do some cool stuff i think

here's a snippet from my convo with greg house, cause he makes a cool point:

JCsBigHus (12:48:29 AM): that sounds really exciting.
little leah 125 (12:48:39 AM): yeah. should be cool to see what God does with our group
JCsBigHus (12:51:12 AM): I love seeing what God does with different groups.
JCsBigHus (12:51:25 AM): part of my favorite is that no two groups are the same.

little leah 125 (12:51:31 AM): yeah
little leah 125 (12:51:40 AM): but God is always moving
little leah 125 (12:51:43 AM): it's crazy

JCsBigHus (12:51:59 AM): yea

it's so true.... no church, no group, no person looks the same as they change and grow, but God moves in so many ways..... so very cool.

so tonight i played mario kart with chad, zane, stephanie, and eventually paul and josh nunn..... man i suck at that game. though i did start to get a little better by the end of the night..... but i stress a LITTLE.

anyway, time to go to bed now, so i'm done blurting too :) i'll get back to y'all later with more fun from the church-front! g'night
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:ew... thats just not right
Time:12:40 am.
Mood: cold.
Music:sanctus real.... some song :) it's good.
so a while back i posted something about snowing in michigan.... well this picture is even BETTER...

wow. snow day tomorrow! across the whole midwest!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, January 5th, 2005

Subject:just for chad
Time:2:59 am.
Mood: sleepy.
hey, i made a xanga site today.... it's like this, but different....

no pink on that page.
on purpose.

check it out
xanga - what a crazy word

let me know what you think
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Subject:from an email Lynnette sent me.....
Time:12:26 am.
Mood: grateful.
by TD Jakes (apparently..... that's what the email said and i suppose i should post that too so i'm not plaigerizing <------------ how is that really spelled???)

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, "they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ..LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge .. LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him. LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed .... LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2005!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!"

Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior. He Keeps me going day and night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do everything, Christ is my strength.

i like that.... good for me to remember lately. sometimes you just have to walk away from people that are bad to you, no matter how much you care for them. it only hurts them to stay and enable them to continue.... it's hard, but the Lord is good to help and give strength as needed. Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
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Tuesday, January 4th, 2005

Subject:new years resolutions again
Time:12:47 am.
Mood: optimistic.
Music:i never seem to have any on when i blurt... hmm..
yeah, i completely suck at keeping this updated.... HOWEVER, maybe that'll be one of my new years resolutions.... blurt more. deal.

well.... i made it through 2004... and i posted here a while back my resolutions for then.... lets see how i did:

1. Spend some devotional time with God every day, reading the Bible and praying. not good over all for the year, but in the last few months, very good. not EVERY day, but most days. there are still nights when i'm "too tired" and really lazy, but for the most part, it's good.

2. Go to every scheduled class. darn. not so good. i was good last semester for the most part. not so good this semester. 8 missed classes out of 32. 75%.... ew. but i had to drive an hour and it sucked. no excuses.... oops. strike one... or really strike 0.5, because i did go to most of them

3. Read the books, do the homework. Ahead of time. for the most part. still did a bit of procrastinating, but i actually did my reading for class, so that was better than normal.

4. Work on being punctual. getting better. still not perfect by any means, but i'm not as bad as i used to be. i made it to class on time every day i went.

5. Devote more time to individual Crosswalk students. could do better still. i've had a lot more convos and such, but i don't spend a lot of time hanging out with them. might have to make this one again.

6. Go to His House on Thursday nights! Get involved in a small group! well, not His House so much now that I'm living in Lansing full time, but I do go to Greenhouse and i've been in a small group all year and loving it. so nice work.

7. Keep in better contact with friends. ew... kind of with people like Tracy and others from CMU, but i still suck. i've been a loser and lousy friend to quite a few (yes, including you kT).... sorry. strike one and a half

8. Work out. Get fit. Stop eating so much junk. hahaha. well, not really. strike two and a half. have to make that one again.

9. Get on a regular sleeping schedule. not on purpose necessarily, but my body refuses to stay up as late so often and will not wake up if i don't give it enough sleep. good thing my schedule has been flexible most days!

10. Figure out what to do after school ends.i can say unequivocably yes to this. i'm in ministry for life. details to be revealed to me as we go.

11. Enjoy life! much better. still have my bad days that i waste whining, but mostly good.

12. Let go of all the pain from last year. much much better. i dealt with my issues and had a really good year. kicking depression was the best thing i ever did. Thanks God.

so i actually did ok. just 2.5 strikes out of 12 possible misses. not too shabby. good. that means i will make another one and hopefully do so well. wish me luck

for now, that involves going to bed....

because i also get to start my job with the children's ministries tomorrow morning, and i have to be there at 9:30... so it's bed time.

by the way, Chad is a very wise theologian, so if you are ever in need of a good, deep spiritual talk and can't think of someone else to talk to, you should talk to him. not that pretty much any of the rest of you know Chad, but hey, whatever. i had a good convo tonight. thanks Chadley. those pain killers do wonders for your brain power :)

g'night everyone
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Monday, December 13th, 2004

Time:7:16 am.
Mood: annoyed.
and this is why i hate michigan....

yeah. that's ALL snow... nasty

so, off i go to scrape off my car and try not to die on the way to my babysitting job. yay for winter. or not.... bleh
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Tuesday, November 30th, 2004

Time:7:04 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
Music:i hate school... oh wait, no that's not music, it's just the truth.
only 14 days.... 2 weeks... until i am done with school!!!!

i am excited. can you tell??

in all actuality though, i do have to go back next summer for 6 weeks to do my internship in the child development lab, and it's an 8 credit class that will kick my butt and take over my life... so i'm not REALLY DONE with school....

BUT... i am done UNTIL next summer.... so close enough

any time off from school is reason to celebrate.

and as of next july, i will be done forever!!!!!!!!!

unless i go back to grad school............

ew... let's not think about that right now, ok?

i hate school

and with that, off to our church's college group :)
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Sunday, November 28th, 2004

Time:10:17 pm.
Mood: confused.
Music:none... kristin's going to bed early.
so i was thinking today about school, and wondering when our big "project" is due.... i say "project" in quotation marks because it's not really a typical project. we had 2 options--- to go to 5 "diversity events" during the semester and write up 1-2 page responses on each of them and a 2 page overall summary, or to be a conversation partner with an international student.

i have, of course, done absolutely nothing so far.

i have too much going on already to remember to do school stuff when i'm at home. i have this strange disconnect between my life as a student, in Mount Pleasant, and my life as the regular me, in Lansing, working and hanging out with people.... that area of separation comes in part from the fact that i have a full hour between lives on the drive there and back, and that it's only a few days a week for an hour or so.... school is like a distant tiny part of my other life... and i forget about it completely when i'm here. so i've done nothing.

do i lie? say i've been to these events that have happened this semester? i don't have dates for them, and i only have 4, and it would be a lie for 3 of them, and one of the 4 (the one i actually went to) was not a pre-approved activity and so i don't know that it would count... it says in the syllabus that it will not count, but it also said that if you turn in a paper outside of class you can only get up to 16 out of 20 points on it, and i was sick one time and emailed it to her and still got 19 out of 20, so i don't know that she'd stick to her "rules" on this either.... so i don't know... it would be lying, and i hate that.

i could suck it up and just miss out on the 50 points. all i really care about at this point is getting a C in the class so it counts for my major..... but then i feel like i'm missing out, because in Colossians 3:23 it says "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.".... and not doing the project definitely does not count as working at it with all my heart.... but it's too late to really do it.... unless...

i HAVE been talking with Diana-- a girl from Bolivia who has come up here to live with the Beaumans (a family from Trinity)..... and we HAVE talked about a lot of her customs, her family, her country, how it is here in the US, etc.... BUT i didn't sign up with the teacher to do that, and she would have given me a student to work with --- but then i would have had to make extra trips to MP to do that.... no thanks....

so i don't know what i'm going to do.... and this whole post made pretty much no sense... but oh well.

i'll figure things out. any suggestions are greatly appreciated though :)

happy sunday! :) hehe
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Saturday, November 27th, 2004

Subject:losery leah
Time:6:37 pm.
Mood: blah.
Music:88.1 is on downstairs.
my goodness... it's saturday night.... i'm sitting at home, by myself, with kristin gone to her mom's for the weekend, kati at a wedding, greg with his girlfriend and thereby unlikely to talk to anyone else, cris being too busy for me as per usual, cherise at her little bro's state football game at the dome, my mom in arizona, and my sister doing homework (not that she'd hang out with me if she wasn't, but still).... and after that i run out of friends in the area.... well, maybe not completely, but friends that i'd be likely to hang out with on a saturday night.

i hate rain so i have yet to be out of the house today, and i've talked to my mom on the phone for a few minutes (but that the only phone call i've had today)..... i watched bridget jones diary on TV which, against the point of the movie, just makes me feel like an even bigger loser.

it may all be PMS, winter blahs, or rainy day blues, but wow, feeling like a loser should be my occupation today.

and part of me says, ok then go do something-- go christmas shopping, go grocery shopping, go get some food for dinner, go rent a movie (or take back the one you've had for 3 weeks), go do SOMETHING.... but then i look out the door and it's raining a lot so i close the door and sit back down on the couch or my chair here in front of the computer... bleh.

anyway, just thought i'd share.... bleh. have a super saturday.

i don't even have thanksgiving leftovers to make me feel better... .... sad.
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Friday, November 19th, 2004

Time:7:21 am.
Mood: energetic.
Music:none... too early. kristin's sleeping.... why is it that i've never got music on when i blurt lately? oh well... :).
well blurties, i'm off to atlanta, ga.... for the national youth workers convention. i know, i know, you're jealous.

but seriously, i'm pumped!
a plane ride,
a weekend away without students,
the first trip i've gone on without it being directly crosswalk (still for crosswalk, but more a personal trip than dragging 50 high schoolers to pennsylvania and back),
nice weather (70 degrees again! :) yay),
and checking out a new-to-me cool city :),
plus the conference is supposed to be pretty cool...

hip hip hooray!

check ya later, blurts.... have a good weekend!
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Blurty for Little Leah.

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