signed, suffocated, delivered....'s Journal
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Date:2005-01-30 01:14
Subject:just me.... for now

wierd isn't it? i don't know why i decided to start this journal up.
i had one before like 3 years ago. and now it's all gone. the most important year of my life and i couldn't even get it on my pc for old times sake.
i have a whole box full of journals.
what a girlie 12 year old thing to do.
but i still continue doing it.
that is, when i can be bothered.

so here i am again, typing away my life for all to see.
it's strange how you write a journal so it's private rite? but then we jump on the biggest highway ever and just expose ourselves for strangers to look inside our souls.
why does this make us feel better?

anyway, it's way to early in the morning for me to be thinking about crap like that. anyway i'll 'actually' start my entry now..


"once you have rearranged the mess
inside your head,
he can show up looking sane,
perfectly sane,
if i know Crazy"
- Tori Amos

you know, i was watching "love, actually" last night and thought to myself "why the fuck can't my life be a fucking movie? maybe then i wouldn't be so fucking lonely."

i mean, i'm not lonely lonely. i have heaps of mates. i've got a special mate who's closer to me like brother. but there's always that one thing/person/desire/purpose or whatever thing you fancy, missing...
i hate this feeling. i'm always happy for what i have and all that, but why is it so hard to find "love" these days?
i mean i ALWAYS fall for the straight ones. or i presume are straight so then i don't blame myself for my own misfortune or cowardice when i just can't be honest with them.
fucking coward.
i dunno... i spose i still have some years ahead to grow up and gain some.. confidence.
went to furnace on friday. i swear the bartender knows i like her. but fuck she is hot. *drools*
even mel [who says she is bi even though she would never be 'curious' with a girl] thought she was nice "last night" *whatever*
i'm listening to evermore atm. their debut album 'dreams' is fucking good. if you're reading this and like to listening to some awesome 'chilling out rock' music, go grab this brillant melbourne bands cd NOW!
i saw them live when they support the tea party at the forum last dec. they really impressed me. and man the tea party? what more can i say? ;)

fuck i'm scared to go back to uni in feb. i dunno if i'll be any good.... eek! i mean for 8 grand i bloody better well be at the end! i'm just scared... scared of failure? i know it's so cliche, but i never fail. or try not to too many times at least :P i think i pride myself too much on my own independence...
one day i'll get out of here.. leave all this shit behind and start my OWN life..

WOO HOO sarah mclachlan's coming down in 44 days!!!!!!!! i can't believe it 18 rows from the front!!! i mean row R C reserve last time was alrite. i could still see her. so Row J A reserve must be fucking good!!!
woooooooooo hooooooooooo!
you know my fave band atm? love outside andromedea. brillant melbourne band. i haven't seen them live yet [missed out twice under no fault of my own!] i love siennas voice and lyrics. fuck they hit a chord. plus they're a melbourne outfit! wooo!
i think i better go eh? not bad for a first entry. i wasn't sure how to start this :P
well 'the girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares' is beakoning me to bed..
rock out

song of the day - with or without control - sahara hotnights

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