now i'm seated face to face with loneliness - what did i expect? did i see forever in you?   
10:32pm 09/04/2003
 
mood: okay
music: Finch, "Without You Here"
I can't begin to describe how lonely I am. How I'm longing for a community (especially my commune) and a man. And how sad songs are ringing in my ears.

And I'm not sad. Not really. I bought The Used and The Finch CDs, both for under $15 (actually, I only spent $5 on The Used, because Jen and I split the cost). I got the schedule I want for next year. I got a job that's going to pay me $10/hr. I have a new, beautiful baby cousin. I'm going on a road trip in a couple weeks. There's nothing to be sad about, except that I'm alone.

I'm not really alone, of course, because I have friends that love me and care about me a lot. But I don't have anyone to hug and kiss and love, someone to hold me when I need it, and that's really all I ever want. So I always have this sadness inside somewhere...it's just right below the surface these past few days.

Anyway, moving on.

Five Things I'm Thankful For
1) I'm alive
2) Rawn
3) The apartments next year
4) My upcoming road trip
5) My new job		  
    Post
 
  litai115
 
 
days