writing from school   
04:01pm 24/03/2003
 
mood: blah
I'm sitting in the lab at school, waiting for my 4:30 class to start. I get out of my Lit class at 3:45, and since there isn't a full hour, and everybody is somewhere else, it somehow doesn't seem important to me to trek up to the Student Center, and instead I come and try to get a computer here, sort of near my next class. I don't know why this is important, but oh well. That's my Monday.

I'm sitting next to a guy that once stuck his tongue down Jen's throat at a frat party. But I don't know him, so I don't think I'm supposed to know that.

Anyway. So I didn't go to the gym today, because I'm a big lazy asshole. I haven't had any soda, though, and although Sandra questions its permanence, I think I can really do this. I had a Slimfast for breakfast and a very healthy lunch -- turkey on a hard roll, some chicken soup, and a bottle of green tea with honey. I'm drinking water. I think I can do without the soda. That is, until tomorrow, when I go to get up for the gym and feel like shit on a stick.

But I have to do this. I have to better my life.

I've realized that to reach my goals, I only need to lose two to three pounds a week. I can do that . I know I can. But I slacked off too much last week, and allowed myself to slack off today. The soda thing is killing me, though. I'm starting to get a headache, I feel very out of it, and I gave Bill mega-attitude today when I went to meet everyone for our lunch date after class and, as soon as I got there, he and Christa got up to leave. Christa has a class at 1, but Bill just had to go do work. I was frustrated that he wouldn't sit there with me and talk a litte. Then I went into the pub to see Jen and stupid ponytail Matt was like, "Oh, I haven't seen Nick today, but maybe he'll know who called your phone." I flipped out, told him that the only two people in the pub who knew my number were Jen and him, and she'd been with me the night I got the phone call, so he can't tell me someone who knows someone who knows someone is going to know who called my phone, because it would trace back to him anyway and he's full of shit. Then I stormed out and went to get lunch. I'm not mad about the call, but he pisses me off. When I came back from getting lunch, Jen was leaving to go to work, and I was very upset that no one would sit with me.

Then I calmed down and ate my lunch and did some work (*gasp*), and it was all good. Then I went to Lit and discussed Dante's Inferno, notably one of the awesomest, most gruesome, most tightly written work of art ever, so that was cool.

Now I just have to get through Cultures and then go to the stupid employee meeting at stupid Brunswick. Who knows what it's about, but I'm probably getting in trouble for something -- not that they'll say, "Jessica, blah blah blah," but Chris will talk about something and pointedly glare at me, or something like that. I know it. Argh.

Tomorrow I'm going to the gym before class, then class, then lunch, then I'm going to apply at Home Depot, and then I'm going home to really (for real) finish up my Gender Studies work for the semester. It's an ungodly lot -- I have to do two two-page response papers, one of which has to be on a movie (like I don't know enough of those to do that off the top of my head); I have to do ten one-page response papers on articles, TV shows, and ads for my scrapbook...today I collected about five ads, so throwing something together on those shouldn't be too hard, along with coming up with stupid stuff for the rest of it. Then, once that's done, I just have to do my mini-project, which is stupid and simple anyway, and I can't do that until at least Thursday, so it won't get done until next Tuesday. Because once I hit Thursday, you're out. Ian's coming Friday, Saturday I work, Sunday I relax, and Monday is stuffed with classes. So we get to Tuesday, when the project will get worked on.

Anyway, it's time for me to head to the water fountain, the bathroom, and then class. You know I'll be back around later tonight. Peace out.

(Wow, I really wrote a lot!)		  
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I wanna let go of this pain I've held so long   
11:39pm 24/03/2003
 
mood: calm
music: Linkin Park, "Somewhere I Belong"
I feel like crap from the no soda. The meeting took two hours at work tonight, then I went to TSA to visit Jen. I took Justin and Robby home, and kinda fought with them both but really fought with Robby. Because it's not my fault he wrecked his stupid car racing like an idiot, and it's not my duty to bring him home. And I'm not a taxi service, so if I'm doing him the favor of giving him a ride, I hardly need his attitude. Fuck him.

After that, Jen and I went to the Yellow Rose and then I came home and took a shower, and now I'm sitting here. I have a headache that won't quit, and I don't want to get up tomorrow, go to class, call the court to say I'm coming to court, go apply at Home Depot, and go to the gym. I don't want to exist. I want to stay in bed all day for a day -- that's usually what my Sundays are for, and I didn't do that yesterday...Okay, time for

Five Things I'm Thankful For
1) I'm alive
2) I got a B- on my Previte Lit paper
3) Jen came out and talked to me
4) I got to yell at ponytail Matt today
5) I'm applying for a job at Home Depot today

and a bonus sixth...
6) I had the willpower to not touch a drop of soda all day.		  
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  litai115
 
 
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