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lirpa m's Journal

15th August, 2003. 3:15 pm. blabbing about a large bit of nothing(yada yada)

feeling good, ladies and gents. the cafe was seriously moving today, i was going to go home early at 11:40 and by 11:50 we were so busy we ran out of the special. jen gave me my first tip...eric is due home in an hour or so so i have a little bit of cleaning to do. tonight were having a family game night to wish jen good bye as she goes back to college. christine is pretty much a walker now and catherine is so worn out. i guess they went to the park and did an excellant job of tiring her. thats what parks are for, right? well, i guess thats about all, wait a do you think i will look in a halo? all i need is to perform 3 miracles to get my sainthood, correct?? for my first, eric's coming to church this sunday. that is a miracle, i assure you. the boy has some bitter issues with organized religion. i think he has some issues in general, but more with himself than God, know what i am saying? i think he doesn't want to have to justify himself or his actions to God when he has a strong enough conscience to deal with. i have this theory of wants and want nots here. in general children, like people, want what is out of their reach, what they can't have, well, i am placing toys at stragetic points in the house and seeing if christine reaches for them. nope, she's bypassing the childs book and reaching for the clip board that is even higher on the desk. what does that mean? people want what they shouldn't have, even if what they should have is in their reach. perhaps, this requires more research. is it morally wrong to use your children as guinea pigs in small harmless psych experiments, i wonder? i don't think its mental abuse....but i think that exposing your children to unwanted relatives for any amount of time is a form of abuse so what do i know(referring to unmentionable persons not in my gene pool here.) yes, and worthy of mention is that kare bear, one of my favoritest people, is coming to see me this weekend. things are looking up^_^. sunshine and rainbows to all!!!

Current mood: pleased.
Current music: creed- one last breath.

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14th August, 2003. 3:34 pm. nice to know...

morally deficient
Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.

Current mood: impressed.
Current music: warning(green day).

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14th August, 2003. 3:03 pm. everyones going to school!

calling on all students, its time to enroll. lirpa is enrolling on monday, and to brush up she is reading psychology for dummies and taking notes. looking into dance classes for catherine in nortonville. the earliest classes are for 2 1/2 yr olds, but i will see if i might be able to persuade the teachers to take on an exceptionally bright 2 yr old. i realize that i am like most mothers and believe that catherine is the most amazing 2 yr old ever...but i can't be far off. don't wanna hear this again i'm sure. but really, she is talented, you can see it if you see her. she just shines.
kara is dumpy...and i am sure its jakass's fault. who is this person to make her so upset? anyways, bowling starts in a week or so, ready to see a really high handicapp? we have a free spot on my team...interested kare bear? i know you don't commit to something that involves eric, but it was worth a try.
speaking of bowling, who would like to get together on a sunday and go bowling all together? maybe a sat night? lirpa

Current mood: productive.
Current music: i hope you dance.

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10th August, 2003. 9:53 pm. lilacs make me smile

thinking about everything that i am doing and i can't help but wonder what i am doing. i keep myself busy as i i am trying not to sit for too long, but i am doing nothing at the same time. i start a hundred things and i am finishing nothing. eric says i am good at starting things, but when i spread myself too thin i accomplish nothing...its not like i put a lot in what eric says because he can be so critical of others, but sometimes he is accurate. even the weather man gets it right sometimes, right bob. and the point of the lilacs? just that, the smell of lilacs always make me smile. i overanalyze enough to know that there is something wrong with me right now but i am one of the stupid people when it comes to me, myself and i.
valley needs a spa, some retreat or something^_^. somewhere i can go and think. i can't think here. eric's mia again, i htink he went gambling with his parents. like they need an excuse. i am tired and want someone here to get off my case. no one is saying go april lately and i am getting beat down with all these people telling me what i can't, what i did wrong, what i need to be doing, blabb blab blab. its enough, ya know? oh, and i totally arranged for some daycare, 86 amanda, of course. hope she did. i think that is the end of my negative route now...its time to cruise in a happier mood. i am going to get a better attitude-no more hating on people that want to hurt others. because i really can't stop them from doing anything. let me tell you i feel crappy when i am angry and no one has the right to make me feel miserable but me(and eric.) the whole to hold a grudge is to let someone live rent free in your head thing. get out freeloaders. lol, that was dumb but again accurate.

Current mood: depressed.
Current music: are you happy now?.

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9th August, 2003. 6:34 pm. welcome to the unreal world...

meet lirpa, your keystone character for no other reason than i am the one writing it. i hope no one can truly relate to me. you will meet everyone else as you go along.
todays episode is revelation. i have started working, for a grand whole 2 days now. prior to my getting a job at the local cafe that only pays minimum wage, i made an agreement with my sister in law that if we both started working we would switch daycare needs to eliminate daycare costs altogether. she agreed, seeing as how i was watching her son for free anyways, she really couldn't argue. well, it seems we applied at the same job. i got it. she already had a job but was applying for a second for the extra money. both times that i have asked her to watch my girls something came up. the first time was legitimate, she had to work. the second time she just didn't want to. today my husband told me that she is bitter that i got the job she applied for, and is refusing to babysit so i will quit/get fired from lack of daycare. i am so angry. i have watched her son so many times i've lost count from every reason from she needed a nap or go to the store to a family pet buriel that he couldn't handle. i adore her son and have no problem watching him. my problem is that she is so pathetically petty and childish. she truly does nothing for anyone without a conscience for the fact that she is ready to ask anything of anyone. this time i am truly angry, though. its like a chess game where she is the checkers champion, small and petty and one move thinking, and i am going to be a chess champion, the person who thinks five moves ahead. checkmate, bitch.

Current mood: pissed off.
Current music: what its like-everlast.

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8th August, 2003. 3:01 pm. sigh, my first day @ the cafe

lirpa is now apart of the resturant circuit....i'm not yet a waitress, unworthy of tips...being as i don't have the menu yet memorized. i have no idea what half of the answers to your questions are and i can't take orders. basically, i smile, look busty(tee hee, i meant busy) and run register. oh oh oh, and if i am a good girl, i get to get your drinks. sigh, i couldn't be happier, i am working. and i am such a salesmen too. i sold 6 freaking cinnamon buns from heaven to these cute sales guys that peddle medicine to the local doctors. one was staring at my cinnamon bun and talking about how good it looked and i told him it was awesome. he was sold$_$ and lets see....i now have a menu to memorize and then i want to sleep. but i came out of it a cinnamon roll, a chikin basket and a lot of lounge time heaver. all for minimum wage. i sound so sarcastic, but i am laughing so hard on the inside. =( and i got bleach on my shirt, which sucks because i really like this shirt.

Current mood: accomplished.
Current music: get a job.

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6th August, 2003. 10:54 am. computer update on lirpa....

little one has a new tooth, she's been hurting for a few days. she hates oragel, but i doubt she hates it as much as the pain. its cute, she has the bugs bunny thing now. she had this big left tooth for was cute, too. she could grow anything and i would think it was cute though:) anyways, catherine wants to use this computer so much, she is literally climbing up all the sides of the chair just to hit keys. she is a bugger, isn't she?
went to the 4h parade yesterday and handed out water with the rest of my church. grace was an angel, she stood up on a ladder and waved. have an hour to do 3 hours worht of work around the house...but i will do it. i just have to think about making eric go to the 4h fair. he didn't go last year because of work or some thing so i am so making him go this year. last year was funny, a sheep baaaahhhed real loud right next to catherine when we took the first picture and she wanted nothing to do with animals after that. when a cow mooooed real loud later she started screaming all over again. thats why most of the pictures are really funny because were trying to get catherine to smile and she's scared to death watching the animals making sure they won't get her. then we watched pigzilla chasing this guy in a pen and jennifer was scared so we skipped the pig pen. it was like they fed these animals radiation or something, they were huge. the sheep were as big as german shepards and the pigs were like saint bernards. wheres the bacon? more like wheres the pork steaks for an army.
one of those pigs could probably feed two sundays at erics grandma's.
well, a few more weeks until school, and now i am starting to get nervous. i am at that weird age in between. i am no longer in high school, yet i am 21yrs old, so how do i dress? soemwhere in between, i guess. i am 21 and still trying to find myself. ces la vie.??

Current mood: anxious.
Current music: we were merely freshman....

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3rd August, 2003. 12:01 am. a little faith...

"here lies an athiest, all dressed up with nowhere to go...." sorry, i seem to have stepped into the wrong room. i am a new christian, which means i am only on my first stepping stone to finding christ. it was a long decision, but i find i like myself better when i wake up early every sunday morning, pull myself out of bed and thank God, the big person him/herself. and move on with my day. question faith? thats kind of a cruel irony, don't you think? (kind of like my punctuation.) seriously, whats with all the bitterness in the room? i mean, i hear a sermon every sunday and study in a group every tuesday because from what i understand, jesus, reguardless of whether you believe he exists or not, is the good guy. and why would anyone question pure benevolence, reguardless of its packaging. i have issues with the bible, well, with being organized by a pagan(constantine the great) who really didn't like half of what he was reading but was smart enough to get on the winning horse before he cashed out on life. its written that he was a christian, he was baptized on his deathbed, too weak to argue. and i really don't put a lot of money on who wrote what books or the accuracy of it and all that jazz, but i like the message. i mean when you rent a disney flick, do you really look for historical accuracy? what about war movies, well, do you think about the message? probably not, i mean the intended message of romeo and juliet was "disobey your parents and you will die.." but i doubt that anyone was thinking of that when claire danes said her point is thinking for yourself is a requirement of actually living life, but why kill yourself over things that you can't prove or disprove but know. choose what you believe in and then don't let go of it just because the vatican exhumes the virgin herself and proves that jesus wasn't born of a literal virgin birth. part of faith(the main part) is knowing the answers without actually seeing them first.

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2nd August, 2003. 11:01 pm.

lirpa is joining the cafe workplace! this small little cafe in valley that is only open a few hours a day almost every other day, but guess what? it's a job! smell that?>>that would be my independant spirit awakening.
29 more days until school starts, i remember when that would mean ohhhh, my sinus's are acting up or ohhh, i am not ready for this test. better call myself in. now its, yeahhh baby, i get to learn(kara-notice the "get to.")
eric's sister is here for a few weeks, jen. she took us(girls and i) to lunch today. it was fate, i found the only place in valley falls currently selling phone cards and called almost everyone in my phone book. some omore than once, just because i could. lol i am a geek.
speaking of get-to's, i get to get up really early tomorrow, so its night night time now.

Current mood: energetic.
Current music: wake me up inside.

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2nd August, 2003. 10:50 am. hmmm

kiss my ass2
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
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