feel free to listen [feel free to stare]'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
feel free to listen [feel free to stare]

[ website | i am ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

(i need to be inspired)

this is the end...my only friend, the end [19 Feb 2004|07:05pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | the end ]

yeah...so here's a big F-U to blurty.

let's hear it for peer pressure!

huzzah.

(1 inspiration | i need to be inspired)

thirteen. [13 Feb 2004|10:52pm]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | Alkaline Trio - Trouble Breathing ]

what better movie for friday the thirteenth than Thirteen? emily's review: fast-paced, co-written by the 16-year old co-star, brutal, raw, disgusting, depressing, real. rating: 4 indie points (that's good).
my mom liked it, which was surprising. like she really liked it. i dunno. the only thing unrealistic about the whole movie is the age of 13. the story could fly at 15 maybe, but def not 13. i don't know ANY 13 year olds short of the jenny jones show that act anything like _that_.
but wow. it was intense.
can't we all just be happy?
i got a B on my math test, and as promised, i'm supposed to engage in some praise the lord-related program activities. *sigh*
schedual junior year APs APs college college college...do i really have to think about this now?
track meet tomorrow and i don't think i'm gonna do so well. :-/
fuck valentine's day. the best gift i could ask for is an end to this hellish week.
besides, i think it's more fun to celebrate friday the 13th then some stupid hallmark holiday.
won't you be my valentine?

to all the people having trouble breathing )

[don't forget to let your life rot you inside out]

(i need to be inspired)

i am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images [12 Feb 2004|06:26pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | The Postal Service - Such Great Heights (acoustic) ]

and when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned
true, it may seem like a stretch, but it's thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away, when i am missing you to death

when you are out there on the road for several weeks of shows, and when you scan the radio
i hope this song will guide you home
they won't see us waving from such great heights, "come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away, "come down now," but we'll stay...


the acoustic version of this song is off the heezy. it's like a lullaby. i <3 it, especially because sleep is a luxury sometimes...
this week has pretty much been its own form of hell. *sigh* took a math test today. *sound of bombs exploding* whatever. i don't even care any more.
had first track meet tuesday. i did okay. i love running so much (even though i hate it). i own the one lap relay!! w00t. next meet is saturday. yeah, who has a meet on fuckin valentine's day.
speaking of which, i hate valentine's day. my date this year is natalie because we're both schedualed to close that night. anyone for binging over a tub of winter white chocolate? single people get free ice cream. couples get spat upon. 6-10 sat night. be there.
lit mag is interesting...i swear this one girl hates me. or everybody, but that includes me. someone told me that if you're really nice to her for a while, maybe she'll stop being cold. i don't care what your life has been like, or what your problem is, i'm not going to make special effort to suck up to you if you treat me and everybody else like shit for no reason whatsoever. so there. i at least have the decency to get to know somebody before i give them the cold shoulder; it's not like a default action or anything...
we haven't even shared our poetry yet!! god the suspence has killed me. literally i'm dead. i believe tuesday is the day, but i don't even know anymore...*sigh* whatever.
oh yeah...my dad told me a soph girl at new trier commited suicide yesterday. that and other events have caused me to post out this public bulletin: please, people, if you care about ANYONE half as much as you say you do, for the love of god take some fucking care of yourself, ok? maybe we already miss you all the time
homework then viola lesson then friday...

i tried my best to leave this all on your machine, but the persistent beat
it sounded thin upon listening. that frankly will not fly
you will hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
the windows down when this is guiding you home...

(1 inspiration | i need to be inspired)

i'm good to go, and i'm going nowhere fast [07 Feb 2004|05:40pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]
[ music | Fallout Boy - Saturday ]

it could be worse; i could be taking you there with me
i'm good to go, but it looks like i'm still on my own...


first saturday night in 3 weeks not working! w00t. to celebrate i'm going over to ashley's and we're gonna bake something (not get baked :-P).
i should probably be doing something productive like my english paper or bio or french project, but meh.

i'm good to go for something golden
though the motions i've been going through have failed
and i'm coasting on potential towards the wall at a 100 miles an hour...


answered questions from last night:
what's the favorite hangout for Alienated Suburban Youth to be alienated and suburban in a setting just barely approved by the public board of health? SARKIS!! i enjoyed being there as an observer, but yeah...
who officially wears girls' pants? jon sayad!!
what's the most underrated game ever? spin the friggin' bottle, baby!! smoochy, smoochy!!! :-D teehee
next time: no rules! ;-)
oh, and guess who was stone cold sober and still managed to spin the car out while pulling in the driveway last night?? :-P
yeah and yesterday i went to school early for the Women in Science Breakfast which was umm...ok. it seemed like they wanted all women to be scientists so we can eliminate all men from the earth? so now the word Scientist has certain lesbianonic connotations, as well as an obscene hand/tongue gesture.
ex. "last night i was such a Scientist *obscene gesture*" teehee

oh we promised them decisions, the mass of youthful innocence
and i read about the afterlife, but i never really lived more than an hour

i can't sleep in the wake of saturday, when these open doors were open-ended

and i read about the afterlife, but i never really lived


i <3 kissing girls.

(i need to be inspired)

how can i convince you it's me i don't like? [04 Feb 2004|06:17pm]
[ mood | rushed ]
[ music | Wilco - Reservations ]

and not be so indifferent to the look in your eyes?
when i've always been distant, and i've always told lies for love...
i'm bound by these choices so hard to make. i'm bound by the feeling so easy to fake.
none of this is real enough to take me from you.


this song is wonderful, hands down.
i wish i had more to say, i thought i did. it's wednesday, got g-spot orchestra tonight. shit i have to eat in 15 minutes and then go. >_<
ahhh what to say???
we did stairs in tracktice and it was hard. my leg hurts.
calliope hates me??? guess i'm not "out there" enough for them. poop. redreading showing my poetry tomorrow. :-/
AHHH got grades back and guess what.....ALL A'S! that's right! even math!!! ahhh *does happy dance* GPA = 4.74. yeah maybe i won't go to college after all...:-P
dig on wilco, bitches.

i know this isn't what you were wanting me to say. how can i get closer and be further away?
when the truth proves it's beautiful to lie

oh i've got reservations
about so many things
but not about you
not about you.

(3 inspirations | i need to be inspired)

just for mike. [02 Feb 2004|08:55pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | The Postal Service - Clark Gable ]

MookMan007: You know what I hate.
x RaGiNG iNDie x: what
MookMan007: locked doors
MookMan007: One could say that I loathe locks
MookMan007: or even that I DREAD locks
x RaGiNG iNDie x: how long have u been waiting for that?
MookMan007: a good hour

say no to hate week everybody!!! JUST SAY NO!
i <3 G.L.A.S.S. [ = gay lesbian and straight students club] i bought one of their shirts today for 3 buxx. sweet deal.
and i <3 late arrival.
and i <3 poetry.
and i <3 YOU! [except mike cuz he's gay. oh right...it's say NO to hate week...]

i want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real." and i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

(2 inspirations | i need to be inspired)

my heart beats an sss o o o sss [01 Feb 2004|03:41pm]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | Ani Difranco - Serpentine ]

cuz folks just couldn't care care care less less less
as long as every day is superbowl sunday
and larger than life women in lingerie
are pouting at us from every bus stop
shelovesme shelovesmenot shelovesme shelovesmenot...


yeah i don't buy into all that Big Game bullshit. i can't even sit through it for the commertials. YAY corporate brain washing!!! wait i thought that goes on all year 'round... i'll be working so it doesn't matter.
anyway, this weekend was...eh. i went several kinds-a crazy, but that's nothing new. i did find a limited sampling of poetry that might find its way to be lined up and shot at by the Calliope staff. good times. >_<

and the difference between you and me, baby
is i get fucked up when i'm alone

ummm...yesterday i went out to lunch with ash and it was joyous fun! we went to the glen and made fun of republicans and everything. 'twas grand. we also went to best buy and i bought The Wedding Singer DVD and Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. the album...it just rocks. i don't buy albums anymore. save for ani, dashboard, and that's pretty much it. wilco is definately worth sacrificing the pirate's life. i was also going to get the documentary DVD of them making the album which is supposed to be fantastic, but i didn't want to part with $22. sue me, i'm cheep.
then we came home and watched Sex and the City on DVD. season 5 is so depressing. like i need that shit.
hopefully everyone's out watching the Bowl so i can get my homework done at work...gonna be a long week...or two. tracktice, woo. late arrival tuesday YAY!
breathe, feel the music, and all will be well...

i remember my name...in your mouth
and i don't think i was done
hearing it close to my ear on a whisper's way to a moan
but pavlov hits me with more bad news every time i answer the phone
so i play and i sing and i just let it ring all day when i'm at home

a defacto choice of macro, or microcosmic melancholy
but baby, any way you slice it
i'm thinkin i could just as soon use the time
alone

(i need to be inspired)

yellow-swim-cap-related program activities [29 Jan 2004|09:03pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | ani ]

swimming is the suckyness. i'm in the stupid swimmer group. that's the most politically correct name i can think of. ok fine, we're aquatically challenged. i don't mind that, though. it's the water i mind. don't get me started on the water. anyway, to protect my precious dreadies i borrowed olga's yellow swim cap that says "Slutsky" on it. it's the sexyness, no doubt.
track is makin' me all kinds-a sore. for a while i was hobbling up and down stairs like an elderly person, but now it's mostly my thigh muscles from doing hurdles today. i can tell they'll be trouble come the 'morrow. it's good times, though.
HOW AM I WORKING ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT??!! fuck that shit, man. :-/
anyway...lit mag is ok, even though, as my suspicions predicted, i am entirely not different enough for these people, just as i am entirely not conformo enough for almost anybody else. i'm just Awkward. we made posters today and mine wasn't up to par with the creativeness of some of the others...AJ traced his ass on one and painted it. [reason number 4,6, and 22 to stay in that class...the eye candy]
but scary-ness...we have to bring in something we wrote to be critiqued by the class...ok i should have gotten over that when i took creative writing, but omg i'm scared as hell. i can't even describe it; i don't want to think about it. [my writing is mineMINEmine!]
anyway, i should probably go engage in some Great Expectations related program activities. or how about No Expectations?

who watched the democratic debates? who noticed how far to the RIGHT side of the stage Liberman was? check out this fight-the-power-related program activity. it's the awesomeness.

(i need to be inspired)

good.bad.ugly [26 Jan 2004|06:06pm]
[ mood | goodbadugly ]
[ music | Ani Difranco - Good, Bad, Ugly ]

it is good, good to be back home. how i missed this time zone
strangers are exciting, their mystery never ends, but there's nothing like looking at your own history in the faces of your friends

my day was goodbadugly.
good was my GRADES! i got grades back for MOST of my classes and dig on this biatch:
*english...95 on the essay, 95 on the test...90.2 in the class!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
*biology...99 on the fucking final, boo yah! hinchey wanted to know if i was interested in honors bio. the answer of course was yes, but i told her how i already got kicked out for not being a freshman.
*math...89 on the final!! yayayayayay better than i expected, and it raised me to an 88.2 in the class, which isn't an A, but is still ok by me!! :-D
*french...95 in the class. i can't believe i got an A on the oral final...despite my chronic "car" mishaps!
unless i got a B in orchestra, i'm pretty happy pappy. :-D

and it's bad, to have eyes like neon signs
flashing open open open open open open open open
open all the time
and it's bad, that i wrapped you in a fantasy, and i carry you with me
but lately it seems like everybody's joined at the hip, and i'm still fancy
i'm so fancy, fancy free...


bad was...it was a long day. a long, long day. oh and super-DUPER bad is we're starting swimming in gym tomorrow. i fucking HATE swimming in gym. hate it. loathe it. i've been going around all year telling people how i was going to get out of it, but they totally sprung it on us. bitches. i think i'm already getting sick...last thing i need is a 3-week dose of fresh ball-water.
bad is also Great Expectations for english. gag me.
bad was also track which was also good. but running HURT ahhhh!! but not as bad as i expected?? we ran like 2 miles...if i can get through the next two weeks, i think i'll be okay. plus it was just uber good to be back with everybody again! i'm really excited for the season. except we have a meet on valentine's day, WTF?!?!?! don't they know people have THINGS to do, PEOPLE to see?!?!?! (or switch those, maybe...JK!!!!) i'll live, i guess.

sometimes the beauty is easy, sometimes you don't have to try at all
sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake
sometimes there's poetry written right on the bathroom wall...

ugly was today i did something i haven't done in a long time which is be really Awkward. you see, emily used to be really Awkward. for a long time. and recently emily has gotten over being Awkward. or so she thought.
i could have been worse, but basically i got all shy and tongue-tied a few too many times today, in front of new teachers, and this one really cute boy...
[get over it. get over it. get over him it.] in other news, i'm also excited for literary magazine! i'm not the only newbie, so rock on!! :-)
new semester, bring it.

and it's bad, that i took that second look, i guess i'm an open book
you know i didn't really intend to embrace you that long
but then again i wasn't the only one holding on...

(2 inspirations | i need to be inspired)

there's too much confusion running 'round through my head [25 Jan 2004|03:45pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | John Mayer - Old Love ]

i can see your face, but i know that it's not real
just an illusion caused by how i used to feel...


i'm kinda out of it today...my parents came home this morning, and i think they think i'm like severely depressed or something. really i'm just on a caffeine withdrawl. it's all mark's fault, making me that delicious grande-soymilk-toffee-nut-chino yesterday or whatever the hell it was. i swear, starbucks puts more than coffee in their coffee. i'm thinking heroin. evil, evil corporation.
i like this song covered by John Mayer. originally by Eric Clapton, i believe. it's slow and jazzy and good times, man...
so tomorrow starts a new semester. i'm kinda excited/nervous. i wonder what Calliope (literary magazine) will be like. i hope i don't get eaten alive by Mullaly and/or the rest of the staff. it just occured to me that joining second semester could be really awkward. oh well.
and it's a brand new semester of me vs. the red party in math class. who will prevail??
no more health, thank god. i symbolically destroyed that infernal abstinance book.
and track season!!! ahh!! i swear to god i'm going to pass out after the first lap or two. but running...it hurts so good. :-P i swear i will work my ass off to run varsity, if not this year then def. next year so i can get out of gym second semester. sweet.
anyway, wish me luck! and off i go to work, again...scooper la glace! man lake-effect snow is heavy shit...who wants ice cream??

and it's making me so angry, knowing the flame will always burn
when will i get over? come on, when will i ever learn?

old love, leave me alone
old love, go on home

old love, love...

(3 inspirations | i need to be inspired)

somethin' about you, it's just the way you move...the way you move me [24 Jan 2004|12:07am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | John Mayer - Back To You ]

MookMan007: Primary is racist
x RaGiNG iNDie x: huh
MookMan007: the primarys are racist
MookMan007: for democrats
x RaGiNG iNDie x: how so
MookMan007: pri-mary, right?
x RaGiNG iNDie x: yes
MookMan007: mary had a little lamb, who's fleece was WHITE as snow
x RaGiNG iNDie x: yeah...
MookMan007: mary?
MookMan007: CHRISTMAS
MookMan007: WHITE christmas
x RaGiNG iNDie x: uh-huh...
MookMan007: see?
x RaGiNG iNDie x: no.

what a night. went out to bad mexican with my brother. then i watched american wedding (again) and pay it forward (again) with him. i redid my blurty, too. YEAH FRIDAY NIGHT!
anyway, pay it forward makes me really angry...it was such a good IDEA for a movie, but they had to go and fuck it up by making it crappy. i could have done it so much better.
anyway, i'm gonna crash.

back to me...i know that it comes back to me
doesn't it scare you? your will is not as strong
as it used to be

(i need to be inspired)

remote.linkage.is.off.the.heezy [22 Jan 2004|02:27pm]
[ mood | relieved ]
[ music | my personal playlist ]

yeah i finally found a site that hosts pics and allows remote linking so i'm pretty happy about that.
besides, for the ADD in all of us, who wants to listen to me blab on and on about things like finals when they can look at pretty colors and shapes?

oh to dream, just for a moment, the picture outside the frame... )

so finals are over!!! i'm a little scared to get grades back, but there's not much i can do about it now... so i'll enjoy the only truely homework free weekend for a long-ass time! except i have to work tonight, saturday night, and sunday afternoon. motherfucker. oh well...needs da money...
help me think of a movie to rent tonight after work...
annie and tony are here...back together i guess? crazy kids. it's like having TWO siblings to pick on me now!! grr.

(1 inspiration | i need to be inspired)

picture time [21 Jan 2004|08:45pm]
[ mood | rushed ]
[ music | bright.eyes ]

don't ask me about finals. i can only think in pictures.
eye.candy )
only two more finals. i'll survive [maybe?].

(i need to be inspired)

on a string, i was held. the way that i move...can you tell? [19 Jan 2004|04:56pm]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | Bright Eyes - False Adverstisment ]

my actions are orchestrated from above. so i swing, and i sway. wave my hand, kick my leg.
and it is always right with the music...


blah blah, i'm supposed to be studying, right?? sheesh. all i have tomorrow is orchestra, english, and a world religions presentation. which i'm prob not ready for, but there's not much you can do. i really just don't feel like caring. actually, i'm not quite sure what i feel like doing. i've been ridiculously bored all day. i did do some studying, though. i put in a solid hour of reviewing heath and bio for wednesday. i saw the word 'penis' and i started laughing really loud. i should do that on the final. :-P

for a song, i was bought. now i lie when i talk with a careful eye on the cue card. onto a stage, i was pushed with my sorrow well rehearsed.
so give me all your pity and your money now. all of it.


lol mike's called me about 8 times today. guess he can't study either. ADD<---what??? sux for him, though, cuz he has Yoon's Pre-Calc Final of Doom first thing tomorrow. *teehee*
and mark called me this morning...it was like 8:30 am. :-/ but i didn't mind TOO much because i was having a bad dream. it was about ice cream.
and i also spent some quality time on the phone with SBC tech support b/c my mom killed the internet. i really don't like talking to tech support people. it's so awkward. i feel bad for my bro who IS a techie, though...and he has to deal with all these hillbillies with DIALUP connections. lol
and tony called the house but i didn't answer the phone in time. then annie came home and got mad at me when she found out. :-(

if i could act like this was my real life and not some cage where i've been placed
then i could tell you the truth like i used to and not be afraid of sounding fake
now all that anyone's listening for are the mistakes.


and it's true, too. why do we get every little thing we do wrong, every mistake we make shoved right back in our faces?? i mean, there has to be like 10 times more things that we do right, or at least don't fuck up _that_ badly every day, so why do the mistakes stick out like a sore thumb?
gah right now i'm feeling this unique mix of anger stemming from boredom, frustration, listlessness, and finals week.
and i'm coming down off an ani high, so that bites the big one, too. the new albums kinda cool...more like poetry than music, though. semi-disappointed, but i appreciate it none-the-less. "educated guess" in stores tuesday!! before you buy, take an educated guess. haha i know, when did i become the offical righteous babe plug? but whatever...gonna go...umm..."study"...

in a house, by myself, i hear the ice start to melt and watch rooftops weep for the sunlight.
and i know what must change. fuck my face. fuck my name.
they are brief and false advertisements for a soul i don't have. something true, i have lacked and spent my whole life trying to make up for.
but i found in a song and in the people i love. they will lift me up out of darkness.
now my door stands open. i am inviting everyone in. we will drink. we will laugh until the morning comes.
that is what we are going to do...

(1 inspiration | i need to be inspired)

i am an all powerful amazon warrior, not just some sniveling girl [18 Jan 2004|12:49am]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | Ani Difranco - Origami ]

so no matter what i think i need, you know i can't possibly have a need in this world

come and come for that sweet sweetness
i'll be your never ending vending machine
i could never need to be alone, never need to be my own
as much as you need your queen

the concert was...fantastic. of course. *happy sigh*
*yet a semi-sad sigh* i can't believe the night had to end. it was sad. and it also makes me sad that ani really totally dumped her band...she used to seem so happy when she talked about them...hmm.
yeah i think she was in a heart-break-y mood, as were most of the people around me, including my sister. kinda put a damper on my semi-happy state, but oh well. i almost cried when she played "swandive." almost.
and it filled me with utter joy to hear "grand canyon." she also played this totally brand new song, which i loved, but probably will not get to hear again until her next album. :-(
OHOHOH and i bought "educated guess"!!!! and it doesn't come out till tuesday! *does a special happy dance*
i was disappointed that Hammel On Trial didn't open for her. instead was this hippie chick with the cutest voice...she sounded like she was about 11 years old. she was cute, yes, but not as good as Hammel, or even Bitch and Animal. no pussy mannifestos. oh well.

and since when did this me me me become the be all and end all of me?
oh listen to you talk to me, long time love has got to breathe, babe
you got to let it ebb and flow
if you want a ball to bounce, you gotta let it go
just let it go

when did i become so forgetable?
x RaGiNG iNDie x: hi it's the green fairy
MookMan007: no it's not
x RaGiNG iNDie x: fine it's not
x RaGiNG iNDie x: it's ani di fucking franco
MookMan007: what is my name
x RaGiNG iNDie x: it's da MOOK man
MookMan007: finish this:
MookMan007: J'ai la patience...mais
x RaGiNG iNDie x: je n'ai pas de l'aspirature!
MookMan007: wait, no, seriously, is this emliy
x RaGiNG iNDie x: seriously. geeze
MookMan007: what do i say to ur ddad
x RaGiNG iNDie x: YO YO MR.WACHOWIAK
hmmm.
tomorrow i start my Study-athon. ugh. don't let me forget to practice for my orchestra final...*le sigh*

i know men are delicate, origami creatures
who need women to unfold them, hold them when they cry
but i am tired of being your savior, and i am tired of telling you why

(3 inspirations | i need to be inspired)

"i'm starting to get over the urge to kill someone and in to the urge to...RAWK." [17 Jan 2004|11:13am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | ~LiViNG iN CLiP~ ]

"they are so close on the food chain, you know, it's like...rock-and-roll...axe murderer..."
-ani d


ani. is. today.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
really, i need this so bad. ok, i'm not really a church-going kinda gal...but ani concerts are religious experiences for me. no joke. it's like...all these people, who are all so uniquely different, get together in a beautiful concert hall...and i remember the first time i saw her at the chicago theatre, the crowd was awesome. it was just ani, a guitar, and a persian rug on stage. and when she played, or when she spoke, the entire place was silent. she just captivated the entire room. what i wouldn't give for that power of self-expression.
the last time i saw her it was in joliet, which is a little...ehh freaky bit of a town, and the crowd was a little too hyper. but this time it's back at the chicago theatre! and our seats aren't in the last row again (i hope!). and i'm making my dad bring his digital camera! and mark is going, too!! he's an ani virgin, and somehow he thinks he's entitled to declare his love for ani, but HEY i _so_ had dibs on that...
anyway...ani _is_ single now...o_O hehehe
but yeah. i'm psyched. has there ever been a song that you listen to that can just FILL you with utter and complete joy? for me at the moment...the live versions of "Cradle and All" and "Shy" are just like...damn.
ok i'm done, i'm done! don't laugh at me because i'm in love with a "lesbian" "punk folk" singer.
and after it's all over i can go back to worrying about...finals. :-( *le sigh*

(i need to be inspired)

there's a song on the radio that says, "let's get this party started." [15 Jan 2004|07:12pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Calm Before The Storm ]

so let's get this party started.

what you do on your own time's just fine. my imagination's much worse, i just never want to know...

today i printed out 21 pages to be turned in to respective classes for tomorrow. and i have one test and a final.
and then finals week begins!!!! oh yes, bring it.
no, i take that back. *sigh* this shit sucks.
now, if you'll excuse me, there's a paper i must submit to turnitin.com so that the government can have my paper on file for ever and ever. GOD BLESS THE USA AND THE PATRIOT ACT!!!


this is me standing in the arch of the door hating that look that's on your face that says
there's another fool like me
there's one born every minute
there's one born every minute


man...school's like a dirty ho. it sucks a lot. it's been about three weeks since i've seen sunlight. or at least it feels like it.

calm before the storm
set it off
and the sun burnt out tonight
a reception less than warm
set it off
and the sun burnt out tonight

(i need to be inspired)

RAGING.INDIE [14 Jan 2004|10:07pm]
[ mood | enraged ]
[ music | don't.fuck.with.me ]

EMILY IS IN A REALLY ROTTEN MOOD. FUCK FUCKING MATH AND SCHOOL AND FINALS AND MATH!!! GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

angry angry angry!!! god i can't wait till finals are OVER. they fucking suck.
yeah and it's not even finals week yet!! it's like pre-finals and it SUCKS. um today in my french oral final i said the word "car"...in english...maybe like 6 times. AHHHHh!!
went to orchestra tonight, and surprisingly it didn't make me feel worse.
got a gazillion math probs to do for tomorrow maybe if i want to pass the final, so yeah...
goddamnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sonofabitch!

oh yeah and i got a new sn for AIM... xragingindiex add me, bitches.

3daystillani 3daystillani 3daystillani...

(i need to be inspired)

i didn't sell out, i bought in [11 Jan 2004|10:47am]
[ mood | predatory ]
[ music | fall out boy ]

SLC Punk!: Emily's Review
it's a good movie. i'm pretty sure i liked it. mathew lillard starred in it. either he's a really good actor, or he's actually ON drugs, is what i concluded from his performance. i'm leaning towards the latter because his repitoire casts serious doubts on his credibility. the guy just has _annoying_ connotations. right off the bat. and i abhor the nickname "steveo."
yet it was an interesting movie. salt lake city is still my number two place to avoid in america (following texas). and the movie had some good lines:
Steveo: There was nothing we hated more than rednecks. Rednecks were American carnate, and well...fuck America!
and also when stevo says to his parents:
Stevo: I love you guys, don't get me wrong. But for the first time in my life I'm eighteen and I can say fuuuuck youuu!
and the best character, hands down: Heroin Bob.
Heroin Bob: Well, it's a crazy fucked up world and we're all just floating along waiting for someone who can walk on water, man!
the movie made me glad for a lot of things: that i wasn't alive in the 80's, that i'm not a punk, and that i don't do acid.
i'm _pretty_ sure the movie had a plot, but i still have my doubts...did make me think, though.
EMILY'S RATING: 3 1/2 indie points

anyway, 'nuff of that waste of time. today is emily's Homework Day, or so i decided when i dragged my ass out of bed at 9am. well, i did my french dialogue...that just leaves my math, biology, health, other french hw plus memorizing said dialogue (unlike last time), and that fucking english final paper due friday. arg, mateys...sometimes anarchy doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

[handing Stevo a bag of weed]
Mark: Here you go, but be careful, that stuff'll make you stupid.
[Stevo throws his beer and yells]
Stevo: FUCK YOU!
Mark: Well, stupider than you already are.


Stevo: [To Mark who is leaving Salt Lake City] If you ever get lonely, if you ever need someone to talk to... Bob's here for you.
Mark: Hey Stevo! [good naturedly] Fuck you!
Stevo, Bob: Noooo. Fuuuccckkkk yooouuuuuuu.

(1 inspiration | i need to be inspired)

glenview never meant a thing to me [09 Jan 2004|09:19pm]
[ mood | touched ]
[ music | Fall Out Boy - Growing Up ]

she never meant a thing to me
except for putting idealists in a body bag


major props to lizzy for finding that song. ;-)
well, so it's friday. wow. it snowed all day. it was really beautiful. well, i'm sure it was really beautiful. i only caught glimpse of it through the bars on the windows during passing period (heh). but when i did, it was marvelous.
too bad it's january, and therefore winter should be, by all rights, _over_. but what can you do?
tonight being my only free night, i guess i should have gone out, but i stayed in and rented movies to watch in my room while pigging out on popcorn and m&ms. i just got done watching 'shakespeare in love' again, which is a ridiculous movie. is it just me or did people fall in love _way_ too easily back then? i mean, granted they died when they were about 30 so they had to get a move on, but jesus! anyway...there's one thing that always gets me. it's hearing the line:
"for never was a story of more woe than this of juliet and her romeo."
*snif* it just gets me, man. even more then the full house music.
i also rented 'slc punk' to be watched possibly sat night. i've never seen it. mark says it's his favorite movie. then again he doesn't see many movies.
god...what to do with the rest of my night?? so help me if it's homework...

i guess i'm my own better half
i guess i'm on my own

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