BLEED SUCKA BLEED!'s journal

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Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
10:49 pm - Darn
After that random comment on the suckyness of blurty, lets talk about my weekend!

***FRIDAY
-Joel picked me up, went to fasta pasta for tes, had pizza for the first time in months
-went to halloween show at enigma, was packed out with ferals cos it was free. Paradise Burning was good, everyone else suckkkkkkked
-all went to poshy cafe, got stared up by all the poshy people, musta looked funny, big crew of tattooed ppl walking into posh cafe full of old people! had nice coffee. dumb girl came up and asked if they were famous, not even knowing who they were, just assuming fame because of tattooness. dumb girl. she was annoying.

***SATURDAY
-worked 9-5.30, complete and utter gayness filled my whole day
-joel + matt picked me up, off to enigma to see gay metal show. hung out at enigma, got daggers from skanky hoe who will remain nameless. chatted to random people. sat on fluro orange couch with matt. left at 12.30
-joels place, make out, stupid bickering, not talkingness, dropped home
-message recieved at like 3am, bickering + not talkingness resolved

***SUNDAY (aka today)
-worked 11-2, waste of time
-home, cleaned room, sleep
-joel came, his place, dumb movie + more pizza
-home, homework, shower
HERE I AM

WOW
AWSOME
I AM WRECKED
I NEED SLEEP
BUT....
I scored blink182 dvd from joel and it has big travis bit in it, so im keen to watch when mum goes to bed
Im out

current mood: tired
current music: REFUSEEEEED

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10:48 pm - .......
I just wanto say that blurty sucks and i wish so much i had a livejournal instead. That is all

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Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
7:14 pm - My smile is big
Woah like life is good! I got me a boy, yes indeed! Hello day of contempt drummer! Woop woop! He's the cutest thing did you ever see! Well i think so anyways, so die bitcheeees! So he comes up at the show friday night and says i gave him the wrong number at loudmouth and he tried to call, i was all like, yeh sure! But then i looked in his phone and it was wrong, so i corrected it and stuff and we hung out all night and had cuddles and a lil bit of kisses and the we hangs out sat night and the woo we are a going outtttt! Yay for me!! My mums pissed at me and stuff, i dont know if shes happy about this but fuck i dont care! Got new stuff today, converge cd, new throwdown and old poison the well, harcore OVERDOSE! Got hope conspiracy cd given to me on sunday by my beautiful boy! Whos a fucking lucky girl then?? MEEEEEEE haha. Also got crazily cute black and grey striped tube top on sale for 10 bux, can you say CHEAPSKATE?? ahaha and i got black 3/4 pants with buttons and stuff and they are hotness! My finger was just pissing out blood to the max, i pulled the skin off around the nail, and it didnt even hurt, but it was fucking pissing out, all over the keyboard. It actually looked kinda cool...if you like blood and stuff! Halloween on friday- show at enigma, probably gonna be shitty, but its something to do i guess. Yeh welllll
Im out
xo

current mood: happy
current music: Throwdown- Nothing left

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Friday, October 24th, 2003
2:10 pm - Woo
Life is looking up...a little! Im going to the One Way Out cd launch tonight (they suck) BUT I Killed The Prom Queen are playing and i havnt seen them yet so it should be goooooood! Im going with JJ, I messaged him and he wasnt gonna go, but i convinced him! I hope he doesnt think i like him or anything, im not being vain, but he did try hit on me once before....nah i think he knows we're just mates. ANYWAYS, I got my A Static Lullaby cd in the mail today, man its fucking excellent! And im sending my money for my Toe to Toe tshirt sometime this weekend! I have way too many tops! Its just crazy as fuck, and im getting those other 3 from the US in a few weeks too! I cant wait though cos the Taking BAck Sunday t is sweeeeeeeeet! I was at school for like 2 hours today! Got there at recess, went to 2 lessons and left at lunch! Rebecca bought me fanta as i was leaving at lunch so that was good i guess! But im just so happy to be going out tonight! And knowing that i dont have a crush on anyone thats gonna be there is kind of a plus too cos i dont have to worry about stuff! How sweet would it be if Kado was there though! I dont think he goes to gigs though, i have never seen him at any....but its not like i go to many anyways, so he could.....but i doubt it. I dont know how hanging out with JJ is gonna go though cos we've never hung out without other people before, and i mean we talk almost every day on msn, but we never hang out n stuff...should be cool though, he's way nice n stuff.
Im Out
xoxo

current mood: happy
current music: A static lullaby- lipgloss and letdown

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Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
10:42 pm - HOT DAMN
I smiled at Kado at work! I dont know if he took it as i was smiling at him...but whatever! I dont know what to do, cos man i really like this guy, and i havnt even talked to him, but i just got this feeling.....yeh. I dont know if i should get someone to tell him, or just try talk to him myself, i never really get the chance though. And im scared of rejection big time. But he does look at me alot, and i dont know what that means. It has to be something at least i guess. Also, im getting way fat! I ate so fucking much today, i just been feeling like eating ALL the time!
Im Out

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Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
2:45 pm - bah
Yo wassup muthafuckkks? I just spent moneys! Woo!! I got stuff which i will list for ya'll:
*Shai Hulud cd- That within blood ill- tempered
*Thursday cd- Waiting
*Shotpointblank cd- kill...breath...kill
*NFY/E12:14 split cd
*Wheels and Dollbaby tank top
*Make up
*Headphones
Yeh great stuff! I went to town to get bathers, boardies and thongs and came back with all this stuff! But its all good. NO ITS NOT, i have to stop buying cds and tops! Thats all I buy! The guy from ressist got back too me and im ordering a Toe to Toe t-shirt from there AND theyre ordering stuff specially for me from the US which is fucking amazing of them! Im getting sikk t-shirts, Taking Back Sunday, Throwdown and Converge. Im also getting Taking Back Sunday and Thursday pins! WOOO HOO! I cant wait! The Taking BAck Sunday t is so fukkin brilliant! Mel is gonna be jealous to the fucking max! Ahaha! BUT i really need to get me some bathers, i tried a few pairs on and decided you actually need boobs to wear bikinis! Thats something i dont have sadly. And also i nee a smaller ass to be able to wear the bottoms, but i have to stick to shorts i guess.
Im Out kiddies

current mood: full
current music: Thursday- In Transmission

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Sunday, October 19th, 2003
5:09 pm - SOMETHING FUNNY YO!
This is funny shit! I stole it from somewhere...you've probably seen it but FUCK YOU I want it on my journal!


1) Be tough at all times.

2) Never cheer after a show, only clap.

3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way.

4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad
grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.

5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can
see them.

6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 3
on how to see said tattoo more clearly.

7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig
makes you look tough.

8 ) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.

9) (Exception to rule 8 ) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you
think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.

10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.

11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them
out the next time Atreyu comes to town.

12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core.
Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core.

13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.

14) Keep it in the do-jo.

15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.

16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all
costs!

17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band.
Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud.

18 ) Tell people you work in the music industry.

19) More Ankles people!

20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not
you.

21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again.

22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.

23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.

24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.

25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy.
Real hardcore tough guys abstain.

26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic.
Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you
do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on
the album.

27) Start your own hardcore band.

28 ) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.

29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure
hardcore bands from NJ as possible.

30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the
audience.

31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.

32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX
XmoshfuckX

33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are
attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are
tough not funny.

34) It's merch not Merchandise.

35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.

36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.

37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are.

38 ) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of
wood, a hubcap or a penis.

39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach
your goal.steal the mic away from the singer.

40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the
old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff".

41) Buy all of that bands merch.

42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.

43) Repeat steps 41 and 42

44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed
ones.

45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes
and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well.

46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a
year.

47) Complain that they are playing with slayer but don't admit you
actually like Slayer.

48 ) Complain at all costs.

49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool

50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.

51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG
difference.

52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fucker" or
"kick that guys ass move" or better yet..stay home and cry.

53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.

54) Scream about love.

55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.

56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing
next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the
hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.

57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the
band.

58 )Wear your pins with honour! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor
Threat and the purple heart of valour.

59) Velcro shoes are cool.

60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of
Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.

61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood,
Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly.

62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual
graphics are for posers.

63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.

64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them
are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every
hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the
world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the
festival should be free.

65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is
tough.

66) Re-issue your demos after every album.

67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big
circle so we can watch the big kids play.

68 ) Crying on stage makes you a professional.

69) Complain some more.

70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.

71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always
try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to
beat up whom ever is looking.

72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In
fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore
band from New York.

73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock
riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the
next Dashboard Confessional.

74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Rubin)

75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched
ear plugs are clear.

76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk?

77) Bandanas are cool.

78 ) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.

79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser.

80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat
with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really. AHAHAHAHAHA waoh thats funny!!!!hahaha

81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue
to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip
off of your band.

82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural
effects of the band Integrity.

83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.

84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive. hahah

85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch
bootlegs of last weeks

86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the
circle.

87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore"
then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong.

88 ) Keep punching

89) Kick a little too

90) Punch

91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.

92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.

93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant
but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.

94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy.

95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.

96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.

97) Straight bangs means straight-edge

98 ) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm. HAhahahahaaaa

99) When in doubt Mock everything

100) Take everything personally.

101) Assume this list is about you!

heheheheheheheheheheeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Well that was a good ol laugh! Come on now, its really fucking funny! LAUGH PEOPLE!

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4:53 pm - My finger on the trigger
Fuck you blurty. Wont let me upload a new picture. WHY NOT??? I want a new picture you fucking piece of shyte journal! AND also i tried to write last night and it wouldnt let me. I HATE YOU! But I dont hate Kado!! I think my whole work is going to know i like him soon i mean i tell everyone! My aunty even knows now, and she works there, and she'll probably tell people ahahah i dont give a fuck anyways. Im going to get Ivana to find out if he has a girlfirend tomorrow. We'll see what happens after that. Cos ya know nothing is gonna happen if he has a gal, and i gotta baaaaaaaad feeling he does. But lets just see first. Then what will i do if he doesnt? Probably fuck all cos ima stuuuuuupido! Nah I'll just ummm i dunno. I have to talk to him or something cos he probably like thinks i hate him cos i looks at him with a mean face like i do to everyone!

Im in your room
are you turned on?

Ahahahah I think them is funny lyrics!! I wish TBS would come to Australia. I know they wont though because they know that if they do i will jump on them and try and you know what and i think that they are a bit scared! I would be if i was them anyways.

I fucking hate the manager of Ressist Records in Sydney. I sent him an email ages ago asking about ordering some band tshirts and he never replied. Then I wrote another one, and guess what? No fucking reply. Faggot. I mean, if you were a manager of a store, would you turn down buisness? I think not. I even said I wanted like 3 tshirts and I would pay whatever within reason and so yeh. Fuck you manager man. You cant buy good fucking tshirts in Adelaide. Unless of course the band comes here and you go to the show and you buy one there. BUT guess what?? I wanted a Boysetsfire t and they had NO girls ones. So then what are you supposed to do? Go without, and have to order from Sydney, but when you do that the fuckers dont reply to you. WELL FUCK YOU! I will make my own tshits. HA.

I had to have a shower at my aunty's place today. Our hot water is broken. I had real dirty hair. Now its nice and clean.

I will hopefully see Kado tomorrow at work. If I dont...I will cry.
Im Out

current mood: geeky
current music: TAKING BACK SUNDAY mutha fuckkka

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Friday, October 17th, 2003
9:56 pm - fuckings greatest hits
Woah im getting fat again! I think i have put all the weight i lost back on cos ive been eating shit loads! as of tomorrow im back on a diet cos summer is soon. Worked tonight, was fucking boring cos it was DEAD i mean who the fuck would wanna go to bigw on a friday night anyways??? The hot guy wasnt working but he was at work for liuke 5mins to pick up his sister who also works there. I didnt know they were bro and sis, they look nothing alike at all. Oh my god, so i walk up the stairs to the staff room thinking about him, and he is sitting right there as i turn the corner! He looks at me, and being the fuckhead i am i probably gave a snobby bitch look to him. I always do that to people, thats why everyone thinks im a bitch, but i just cant help it....ahh so i go sit at the table after practically running to the tolilet to check my hair and yeh if noone else was there i might have said hi, but there was so yeh. Then his sis came up and they laft. HOT DAMN!!!! Fuck i fucking love this guy! His name is Kado i think, is that the cutest name EVER? I fucking hope so bad he works tomorrow, i dont think he does saturdays tho. Someone help me or im going to go insane over this dude! Seriously, i dont think its just his hotness, theres something about him and when he looks at me i fucking freak! I mean totally go nuts inside. This is fucking strange! I have to talk to him. And smile not scowl. Yeh
Im Out
xoxo

current mood: confused
current music: Blood brothers- fuckings greatest hits

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Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
9:23 pm - Aint love grand!!!!
Ahhh im in loveeeeeee! There is this most beautiful guy that works nightfill at my work! He's hot like woah! My god i wanted to jump him so bad! He was wearing a Toe2toe hoddie, dickies shorts and checkered vans tonight! Ahhh he's so perfect! He has a mohawk but its not like a spikey one, but it lookes way cute and he's all tanned and skinny but not too skinny, like tonned skinny and ahhhhhhhhh! He's got small tunnels too. MMMMMMM! I wanna change to nightfill! He was working near the checkouts tonight and he kept looking over! I was just like looking at him and i'd look away when he looked at me and I was trying hard not to smile cos i was so happy and my heart was all racing and ahhhhhhh! Work was so fun tonight i didnt want to leave! On Monday i was asked to work until 9 tonight to do like nightfill stuff but i said no. Stupid stupid me!!! Oh well, hopefully he's working same time as me tomorrow or on Friday night! I have USC subject choosing thing tomorrow....gasp. I dont know what i want to do. Life is hard! I didnt go to school today cos i am a fat lazy hoe! I dont know about the hoe part, but im getting fatter and fatter, i seriously put on hell weight over the holidays! And I just keep on eating all the time! STOP IT!!!!
Im Out
x to the motha fucking o!

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Saturday, October 11th, 2003
5:31 pm - Oh great here i go again
Its a Saturday today. Although it feels like a Sunday as I dont have to work. We dropped Brooke off at the bus station just before. Shes gone home. Loudmouth was ok...but not great. Boysetsfire were AWSOME! They were fuckking brilliant live! yeh. I dont think any of the other bands were much good at all, although Less Than Jake were ok, even though I dont particularly like them. I met Joel Bourne from day of contempt. He came up and talked to me when i was standing alone. We hung out kind of for the rest of the night. He asked for my number so I gave it to him. He said to go to enigma after cos he was going. But I couldnt go cos I had brooke with me. He said he would message me that night. He didnt. I figure I either gave him the wrong number cos I dont know it properly OR he just didnt message, which is more likely. Im not too bothered, I wasnt expecting much. He is very hot though. Umm I got underpaid about 20 bucks which was very annyoing indeed. I bought 6 new cds which is great. I got Pretty Girls Make Graves- The New Romance, Transplants, Finch- What It Is To Burn, Atreyu- Suicide Notes And Butterfly Kisses, Love Like...Electrocution and and old Weezer cd cos it was like 11 bux. Yay for cds. I also got a new belt and underwear. Yay for belts and underwear. Talked to Melody. She is well. I wont see her until she comes down for MxPx. I dont particularly like MxPx AT ALL. But Mel wants to go, and its fun to go to shows with her...even if it is crappy pop punk. I think Brooke is comming as well. Which isnt all that great. Although I love her, she is just so clueless and pop punk like....sorry.
Im out

current mood: crappy
current music: Atreyu- aint love grand

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Monday, October 6th, 2003
10:26 pm - THIS IS YOUR LIFE...
This is to add to the billion zillion quizes I have on this journal. Enjoy.

1.First Name: Mali
2. Middle Name: Jayde
3. Last Name: Naish
5. Hair Color: black
5. Hair Style: Short fringe, crappy medium lenght boring hair cut cos i did it myself
6. Eye Color: Greeney bluey hazel
7. Height: 180cm
8. Location: Adelaide, Aust
9. Birthday: 10/09/86
10. Zodiac Sign: Virgo
11. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: No
13. Do you have a crush?: yessum

Favorites
15. Favorite Animal: none
16. Favorite Sport: none
17. Favorite Color(s): red, pink, black & white
18. Favorite Friend/Friends: Melody, Bec, Brooke
19. Favorite Online Friend/Friends: Tanner (miss you!), Kev, Lisa and Dylan probably
21. Favorite Song/Songs: of all time? Thats a hard one....dont speak by no doubt maybe
22. Favorite movie quote:"but i can't. I will never forget these words "with great power comes great responsibility." Because I love her, she will never, ever know. This is my gift. This is my curse. I am spiderman."
24. Favorite Store: Midwest Trader & Irving Baby!
25. Favorite Feeling: Knowing someone likes me
26. Favorite Shoe: low top Chucks
27. Favorite Scent: chocolate
28. Do you wear make-up?: sometimes
31. In a girl/boy, do you want more personality or looks?: Personality
32. What kind of personality do you like in a girl/boy?:funny, caring, loyal
33. Do you move fast or slow with a girl/boy?: i dont move anywhere
34. What is your idea of the perfect girl/boy?: someone who has the same interests as me. someone who will sing me too sleep. someone who will hang out and be a dork with me. someone that doesnt give a fuck about what other people think.
35. Would you ever ask a girl/boy out?: if i knew they were into me for sure
38. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes: it doesnt matter really

Love/Life
45. What is the first thing u notice about girls/boys?: Their smile, eyes and shoes! I dont know why, I just always look at shoes!
46. Whens the last time u cried?: today
48. What do u want to be when u grow up?: no idea
49. Do u sleep w/ stuffed animals?: nuh
50. Do you want children?: not really
52: How "far" have you gotten?: 100km
53: Do you like someone right now? Yes indeed
54: Do they know?: doubt it

Friends
1: Do you have a best friend?: Yeah i guess
2: Whos is your best friend?: Melody
3: Who do you e-mail the most?: Brooke
4: Who is the meanest?: Luke
5: Who's the loudest?: Rebecca P

Within the last 24 hours, have you...
1: Had a serious talk?: Nah not really
2: Hugged someone?: no :(
3: Get along well with your parents?: Yeah
4: Fought with a friend?: No

Do you like to...
1: Give hugs?: Yes
2: Give back rubs?: ...get them
3: Take walks in the rain?: yessum
4: You ever have that falling dream?: yeah
5: What color is your floor/carpet in your room? grey carpet
6: When you chew gum, what kind?: Extra Sugarmint
7: Do you use chapstick? yes
8: How do you plan on spending the summer?: relaxing

Did You Ever
1. Drink?: Used to, not anymore
2. Smoke?: I have smoked, but never addictivley (is that a word?)
3. Drugs?: A few times, never again
4. Sex?: nope
5. Made Out?: I am...was a makeout whore!
6. Go on a date?: Yeah, but they sucked
8. Go to the movies?: NEVER...
9. Go to the mall?: yeh
10. Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Hahah yeh
11. Eaten sushi?: Yes YUCK
12. Been on stage? to dance in like year 5
13. Been dumped?: yes
14. Had someone be unfaithful to you?: yes
15. Watched the smurfs?: yes
16. Hiked a mountain?: yes
17. Made homemade cookies?: yes yum i want cookies now!
18. Been in love?: I dont think I know what it is
19. Seen the White House?: no

More Stuff
1. Are you popular?: I guess I was, but I kind of cut myself off from everyone because all the people I know suck
2. Are you pretty?: Well im not ugly, but i dont know
3. Do you have your own phone line?: A mobile
4. What is your fav word to say?: suckass
5. What is your fav phrase to say?: ...

What is it right now
1. What time? : 10.44pm
2. What are you doing right now?: this stupid thing
3. What song are you listening to?: The fridge making annoying fridge noises
4. What are you wearing?: Jeans, pink t-shirt type thing
5. What color are your nails?: bits of black old nail polish

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10:09 pm - Suckassss
Today sucked. Public holidays suck. I drove for the first time with my L's today. I did well. I will be a great driver. My life is so boring damnit. Umm I work at 8am tomorrow which means I have to get up at 7. Friday is getting closer. Friday is the day when I will see the guy I <3. He will most likely be there with his girlfriend. Perhaps they have broken up by now. I hope so. I will talk to him anyway. I hope his girlfriend isnt there. I want to run up and hug him and kiss him and DAMMNIT! Why cant he just be mine? Im sure he did like me or something at one stage...or why would he try chatting me up? But then he never did anything more. But I did act uninterested because thats what I do best, fuck things up. Thats why I can never be happy. Thats why I never have anyone. Thats why I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I can feel it, I know thats how im going to turn out; sad and alone. I am going to go and cry now just to seal the cliche. FUCK
Im out

current mood: aggravated
current music: The Killchior Project

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Sunday, October 5th, 2003
9:05 pm
Woo. new colours. I like these colours better. Yay

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8:24 pm - bored...
silly
"you've got this silly way

of keeping me on the edge of my seat"

you're one love struck fool

ready to fall in love tonight

under the sky.



What Taking Back Sunday quote are you?
brought to you by Quizilla








Hmmm...

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7:55 pm
I want a tattoo.

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7:35 pm - Rather be forgotten, then remembered for giving in [REFUSED OWN YOU!]
It is a sunday night. I am home alone. It isnt fun. Today was spent being lazy and doing nothing. But it was good because I havnt been lazy for a long time. I ate spinach and ricotta ravioli for tea and it made me feel sick. Last night which was Saturday was spent doing pretty much nothing also. Yesterday I got home from work and Mel was still there. We just bummed around and stuff. She was picked up at 7.30 to go to somewhere. I wont see her until ages now cos shes going back to pt augusta. She is in year 12 and needs to study for exams. It would be good if she was comming to Loudmouth friday though. I think next time I see her wont be until next holidays. That will be the time we go and see MxPx. I think. She might be moving in next year which will be awsomeness and Nicole the fag will be kicked out! We will have a killer time. Yay. We went to the Austral friday night. Got there just in time for the first band (10.30). They were kind of not good. They were boring and I couldnt get into them. We sat down for the whole set. The next band, My Disco were fucking brilliant. I think I like chaotic hardcore more than normal hardcore now, its alot more fucking interesting and way funner to dance to. Anyway, they were from Melbourne and i wish i would have had money to buy their cd. Damn. Love Like...Eletrocution were also greatness. They are really fukkin crazy live and really fun to dance too. There were these bogan types that were trying to hardcore dance though which was quite stupid because harcore dancing is not suited to LL...E AT ALL. It just doesnt work. And it was kind of really annoying because this girl who looked really stupid kept hitting me. I mean I like hardcore dancing (watching it anyway) but there is a time and place...and this was not it. I felt alot more comfortable at that show, i think because everyone was older and it wasnt a "hardcore" show. People didnt like look me up and down and shit, and people actually looked like they were having fun, rather just standing there with their arms crossed and hard faces. Whatever. Its about the music anyway, when I go to a show its to see a band, not to try and look good and fit in (I AM FULL OF SHIT). Prrft. Im feel sick. Brooke is comming Wednesday. Hmmm. I.want.to.die.
Im out

current mood: Fucking dead
current music: Silence

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Friday, October 3rd, 2003
12:32 am - I feel like...i want to dieeeeeeeeee
I dont like my journal. I dont like the colour, I dont like the name, I dont like the picture and I dont fucking like Blurty. Blurty is dumb and retarded and ugly. I want livejournal and if someone doesn't give me a code soon, I am going to blow up the world. I am not paying for a fucking internet journal, but i want a good one. I deserve one, I am a worthy person. Die
For the millionth time
Im Out

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Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
11:50 pm - Now shes gonna make it out ok...but shes shaking like a revolution
I have Loudmouth tickets and the new Thursday cd- War all the time. Good shit.
Today and tonight both very much sucked. Worked 10-3 today, they asked me to stay til 8 and i said yes.......but then i was alll sick and dying so i sed i should go home. So i came home and stuff and bec wanted me to come and see some band of clara's ex boyfriend. So we went with clara and her friends and the bad was like indie rock and they were ok.....not exactly my cup of tea though, but oh god the band before them was so bad it wasnt funny. There songs all went for like 10 minutes and all sounded the same. It was a slow and painful torture for my poor little ears. So we left before the main band even played, and i got home and ate. I have eaten a total of 8 pieces of bread today. That is 6 pieces of bread too many. I eat way too much bread. I think i substitiute it for meat. But I suppose its better than eating FLESH! I seriously dont know how people can eat meat. Gross.
No work tomorrow! HOOORAY! Im going to sleep in, then go and try get my learners so i can drive my automobile, then Melody will come over and we will think of some exciting to do with the friday night. A thing that may or may not occur is going to see Love Like...Electrocution at the Austral. I dont know if I will feel like it though seeing as my vice is basically gone. I feel like shit.
I work too much now. Only at the moment because it is holidays. But i dont like it. And when school starts up again, in the first week i work 17 hours. Thats alot with school at the same time. Fucking excellent.
Im out

current mood: uncomfortable
current music: Thursday- Asleep In The Chapel

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Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
5:41 am - Sickness sucks
What kind of person is up at 5.42 am? A very sick one whos sleeping pattern has been disturbed. Yesterday morning I awoke to a terrible illness. I think its some kind of flu type thing, I dunno, but it kind of sucks. When I got home from work yesterday....wait, Monday, at 3pm I got into bed and slept until 7, I got up and had luksa which made me feel like vomiting then i got back in bed til 10am yesterday morning. Thats alots of sleeping. Then I had to get up and go to the market with my mummy, and i got some cold and flu tablets. Then I had to go to work at 2.00. Work sucked but i didnt feel so bad cos i had tablets. I want to go to the doctor and get real tablets though because otherwise its not going to go away. I went to bed last night at 10, but then Brooke rang and woke me up and she was talking about alot of stuff which i didnt really care about because i am sick and i was tired. So she went and I went to sleep, then i woke up about 2 hours ago and I was just lying there and then i got up and watched a really cheesy 80's show on tv. And now im here. Oh yeah and I coughed up this gross hard muscus stuff and it had blood in it. I just thought you should know that. Yeah so it is now 5.50am and I have to work at 2.30pm today and I am going to be so fucking tired. I may or may not go back to sleep in a while. It sucks being sick in the holidays. I bet I will be sick all holidays and then get better as soon as school goes back. That will most definatley happen bacause bad things happen to bad people. Not that im bad. But nothing good happens to me.
Im Out

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