Sunday, May 20th, 2012
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12:43a
...did a couple of vocal takes....took a few...the P comes out quite heavy on the microphone...and I was getting a bit of noise in the takes....but that's sitting there ready for next load of work...
....probably going to get some gardening done tomorrow.....just for a break really....don't want to do it....same reason get sick of having to do it....but it's become a thing of....the parents rely on me to do it I think........I really am stuck in the parent trap....I probably don't mind doing it....as much as I would like to complain about it more...
...no point complaining about it though...I could throw 50 arguments out there as to why I shouldn't be doing it...but if I didn't do it....it would not get done....and then just imagine....
.....so yeah....I should just get as focused as possible....on finishing this album worth of material....and getting some more education along with more business building effort... ..for the most part I know a fair bit....I'm also aware that's business wise....it's a fairly shitty time across the market place generally...... ...and I'll say it again....I really feel the changing demographic across the world....is going to have some very big impacts on business developments.
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12:49a
....going to watch a video...but at the same time...just considering...everything I mentally go through as being a part of this family....which they are just totally oblivious of....
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12:50a
You know it's almost like a sit-com....kind of intellectually depressing.
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12:52a
But for me it's more....a what awareness do you have....and what action are you taking....you know I asked dad a couple of questions about England before he left....and he just didn't have an answer in terms of what type of gear was going on there before he left.
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12:53a
You know when solider's in the military go into another country....they see what's going on there....and they have pretty good idea of what's going on back in their own country...
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12:54a
..and it's probably like Greece at the moment....you know they're probably going...."well hang on a minute....what's going on here"..
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12:56a
Mum and dad did go to a live theater show tonight...I asked if they spoke to anyone....no....
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1:02a
I remember the last time I asked him about England....he told me blacks were moving in...
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1:04a
I need to stop thinking....I'm constantly putting all these different case scenario's together in my head.....people do it all the time....you know ..if I had done this....this would have happened...and if I hadn't done this....this wouldn't have happened.....and I'm just piecing it together will all the different fragments of what's going on in the world...
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1:08a
Generally you would think we all strive for a better life....but sometimes...I just get the feeling...my parent's aren't with that plan...and there's the age thing....you know some people get to an age...where they no longer really care....I don't think my parents are like that...but you see the documents....people have different needs at different times in their life...and sometimes I just think ...my needs are not getting the attention they need.
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1:09a
..and I'm one of those people who feels selfish saying that....but it's like the dental gear....that was a major stuff up in my life...and my needs say...well it should be fixed...and it shouldn't have been six fuckinng years of hell trying to get it resolved.
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1:11a
I guess it's just easier to say...well sometimes I feel like I'm on a different planet in terms of what my needs were....and how responsive my parents were to my needs...
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1:12a
....and I think there's probably millions of kids....who are currently going through those issues....will grow up into adults....and will still be going through those issues.
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1:15a
..and I think when you grow up in a State with one agenda....business groups with others....parents again with others....no wonder you get people like me....sitting here telling the world...how shitty the need recognition....along with the responsiveness of that community has been.... you know the last thing I would expect to have been on in my life is fucking welfare...yet what's going on in the world and economy....is building that type of scenario.
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1:15a
...and I've just had a big shit about it in my blurty...
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1:16a
...and now I'm going to bed....I'm feeling emotionally kind of depleted....and embattled at the same time.
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1:19a
...but probably what is central to is...is the fact....that I know am aware of the screw over's I was getting from the education system....and not because of poor performance....but because ...someone needed to mark grades down...and I really believe that happened...it happened in high school....and I have substantial proof that it happened on returning back to University.
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1:20a
...and all I can say it....and that's the type of SHIT.....I'm having to deal with in Australia....I don't know if it's the same elsewhere...but I know it happens here.
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1:22a
goodnight....
I'm in a better mood already....I'm getting into bed..
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1:24a
..and I do have a lot of cool things going on.....but for some reason...tonight...I'm letting go on a bit of emotional baggage.
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1:25a
..again...goodnight.
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1:17p
..I'm up it's a bit latter than I thought it would be...going to have a coffee it's a fairly nice day outside....so time for the garden.
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5:38p
..finished up just then....can't hardly move or walk....I can't believe it... did the main yard top to bottom...and cleared all the autumn leaves from the front lawn... I am so sore...
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5:39p
...now...well I'm not sure what I'm going to do...take a few hours break that's for sure....while my body unwinds...
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6:30p
I'm going to have tea and a little bit of a surf....tonight I am going to get to watch that film....I probably won't do much else today other than work out what gear I need to get done next week.
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6:34p
I might even get some reading done..before I crash out.
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