Monday, March 19th, 2012
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12:35a
Vocal take is done...about to make a coffee...pretty happy with that one....will start getting music together....and hopefully don't have to change it because it's quite nice....
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12:55a
I'm trying to teach Tousie Lickie that millipedes are the bad guys....and we have to get them....I don't think it will distract her from the most likely dwindling rat population.
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12:56a
...now time for some music...
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2:03a
okay.....hurray....finally despite the fact that so far I have captured a sound that goes with the track....I think this is the first time that....I've actually got the track sounding how I really wanted this part to sound...which doesn't mean I've got it all down....it just means...right...I'm going to need to get that kind of tone out of that instrument....and that kind of rhythm on the drums...I only really have two of the instruments decided upon...and somewhat of a beat that I might come out of it with......
it's a really moody part of the track...but like I said...hurray...this bit is going to sound close to exactly how I wanted it....some of the other gear is more experimentation to get a sound I want....
hurray...hurray...
..and that ends my day of music...
I actually not quite ready for bed...but definitely ready not to do any more work on that just yet...
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2:03a
....so I might read for an hour max...and then head to bed...
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2:26a
..other than that been getting into a couple of conversations with dad....they kind of border on small arguments but they're not meant to be.....and they touch a bit on religion as well.....and I know to some extent it's one of the worst conversations you can have with someone....but sometimes....I'm just trying to figure him out....because to a great extent....as individual as we are...our parents do shape our lives......and once you start taking more control of your own life....you start shaping that........
...what I find kind of difficult to cope with generally and it's with all people not just dad....it's when they say and have one belief....yet everything else contradicts it....yet that still seem to be able to justify what they're saying...
...what I then start doing is in my own head using the way he behaves as an example of how many people seem to behave in general.....and like myself there's a million odd people that around the world start questioning how things are being done...particularly when they're getting negatively influenced by it.....
...you know last thing I read....basically society every so many years skips a generation and leaves them out in the cold...literally in terms of social policy.....and to some extent they sit on the side lines...advocating....but for the most part on empty ears.....the moment they take it into the public arena via media....well the person at the end of the microphone....isn't really hearing the speaker....
I mean just as a general example when I was in the Job Network and said a few things didn't seem to be falling into place....e.g.. getting legal help when it was needed, getting dental help when it was needed. ...and having someone say..."Well shit happens"...and you know...my parent going out every weekend...which hey is great...but not when it leaves one person...trying to maintain something that doesn't even belong to them....
...you know if I had my parents attitude to the home...
I probably could not even contemplate how we would be living....I know there would be a lot of yelling that's for sure.....
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2:28a
....so you know...generally I start thinking about things people say...."work hard...blah...blah"...and things come to you......and while some are....they're the things I have to spend time looking for.....and you know.....I spend a shit load of time looking for a paying job....but that's not coming to me is it ??
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2:30a
You know....probably if I was working full time....I wouldn't even be reading anything to do with religion....but somehow....it's something that suckers you in....I mean read history ....you're reading about religion ....it's in your face where ever you turn....except ...say now I turn to dad...and he starts saying something about Atheism..........which I believe is no religion....well as you can probably imagine...it's a very different perspective.......
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2:32a
...and probably when mentally I start getting pissy...is when I think about the Church School education...because it's almost planted there...and while you discuss it in class....like we did.....you know....it's not questioned in terms of it's relevancy in our lives today...
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2:33a
...so I'm kind of left ....well.....not really knowing what to think.....other than for the most part...I really get sick of religion... ...
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2:35a
...but you know if you look at it from the Pagan experience.....well you know....it was mother earth....praise the trees...praise the animals....etc...etc...
which seems a lot more peaceful....than a lot of these religious groups that have turned to blowing shit up....
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2:37a
..and then if you consider it from the point of view...that people were considered heathens...and less worthy of life, liberty and property....well I believe....I'm not sure...but that's what happened when the Christians came along.... and I know the Muslims can be just as extremis....
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2:38a
....and then you know if you throw in the Roman Senate...well mankind ...not humankind....has always moved to some kind of position of power....
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2:45a
....you know the world is spinning uncontrollably...with economic pressures being led by business developers...
and you know you have all these sections that are developing via higher education in Universities....but the whole keeping things under control so there's no poverty...so there's no unemployment....so people are in housing...etc....etc.....well that really doesn't seem to be working....and if it is working....its things like in Adelaide you have Chinese investors buying and building apartments now....for their own students.....that are landing here to study....and that doesn't actually really work for the local community that are already here out of study looking for work...and have been for over ...who knows how many years......
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2:46a
I'm not saying...I don't want other people here....I'm saying....well the Government isn't really making the taxes go around....
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2:54a
....you know you've got all these pressure groups...all this gear literally day after day....that goes on....which just messes with my head....and it's like everything else...there's always someone with a reason....why they can't do something....e.g.well we could have given you the job....except your resume didn't quite fit our recruitment policy....yeah right....should I put "I'm Gay on it"....because I tell you what....I bet if they did a statistic sample of the percentage of population that's gay and unemployed and the percentage that's straight an unemployed......I bet you anything...there's more fucking straight people unemployed than there is gay people unemployed...and that's not an anti - gay statement...it is a look at the bureaucracy of Adelaide...
you know the only thing different about the Sydney and Adelaide gay population....is that here there's less "Gay Pride"...it's more subversive than that...and that's probably due to the Church....
...and I'm certainly no Gay advocate.....I'm just making a statement about Adelaide.
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2:55a
You know constantly everyday mentally I am on the attack because my straight rights are being undermined....
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2:56a
...and statistically the fucking Gay's won't tell you that.
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2:58a
...and it's not like men are going to come forward...and actually say....well gee...actually we wrote you out of planning because we're men and it's a man's world...yeah according to the Christians....which I am not one...
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3:10a
...I mean obviously daily...in the world there's so many things going right for so many people.....it just seems almost hard to believe to me....that there's a reason...that it's not going well for others.....I mean realistically you could expect.....50:50 good and bad....but I still think this whole employment recruitment centers and groups....
Government policy which is set on only really benefiting the rich to get richer is a total sham....
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3:11a
...you know what my problem is ??
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3:15a
Probably half of the time mentally I have difficulty putting my own thinking into a pigeon hole....where it fits...and I don't argue with my own rational....I mean tomorrow I could say....wake up and say...."yeah well being Gay isn't such a bad thing".....thing is....I don't think it's such a bad thing.....personally I find it an undesirable thing...
you know....if you put two guys in front of me....and said..."oh they're gay"....I would just think yuk...! these guy's get off sticking their penises in each others anus...how fucking revolting is that....
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3:15a
...I mean I wouldn't even think "Fucking"...I'd think yuk....that is really gross...
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3:16a
....and then of course the other issue is the "authoritarian thing"....because people somehow have this justification.....that because they're older they deserve it....you know I don't agree...
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3:18a
as abstract an artist as I am.....I actually very much deal in realities and proof ....as a basis of any sound logical debate....or argument....what ever you like to call it....
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3:19a
....you know....I wouldn't even say....Straights are better than Gays....because that is not a rational statement.
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3:26a
I think just generally I get strung out....because...
1. Housing is not adequate.
2. Job Growth is not adequate
3. Cultural integration with peers, mentors...is not adequate.
4. Salary does not match work load.
5. No time for social or cultural activities....'
6. Poor Education guidance....- see Church School
7. Subversive Group element in Adelaide - responsible for neglect and human rights crimes.
8. Bankers and Stock market responsible for monopolization and monetary fraud....perpetuated by the groups running it...
...my list goes on...
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3:27a
However I am going to go to bed more cheesed off with the world than ever...but hey the small thing that did go right today...was a bit of my track.
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3:27a
goodnight.
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12:08p
I'm up...body feels a bit crunched....having a drink and about to get started on job searches .
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12:09p
..it feels quite warm today...
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1:50p
..and just corrected a couple of spelling errors in the blurty...stung - strung and biases - basis...couple of typo's...which do actually read incorrectly...but I don't always check.
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8:00p
...okay....some job hunting paperwork out the way...
..didn't hear from the tax department so I'll call them tomorrow....waiting to hear back from the hosting company....and waiting to hear from the Script Registry
..now well I'm going to have a shower...wash this hair dye out....and then most likely get straight back into the track.... .
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10:04p
..okay..can you believe it....I am about to sit down and do some work...
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