Sunday, June 1st, 2008
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12:23a
You know what ever this last piece of gook is.....in the corner of my teeth....without hesitation I think to myself....it's a little mother fucker....if I could describe it another way.....it's like being on the ocean floor, surrounded by beautiful pink coral, and there breathing away slowly a small pulsing magma tube....it's like the hell spirit....it's like ....well if I could draw it as a cartoon, it's like the ground surrounded by a cave wall...(my teeth)...and then suddenly the eye of the awakened dragon opens and it is an angry dragon...but basically it's a shitty piece of most likely tumerous cancerous tissue sitting in my gum line...you know if I had a needle , and if I didn't hate the things so much....I loved to spear it....and say take you mother fucker....but I can't.....good new's though...it is getting smaller...its about a mm x mm x mm. It's in the shape of a triangle...and as you can imagine....it's nestled right in the corner...you know it couldn't be in the front edge or something simple like that....it's got to be right in the back corner...
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12:24a
You know an Ulcer is actually cancerous tissue ?
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12:55a
All right...hurray....well that section turned out really well.
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4:23a
All right....well I'm feeling a little bored...not that I should be...maybe I just don't want to do anymore work today...animations sitting at 17:49 and 642 MB condensed....which actually may be a problem, because it's getting big too quickly and the discs only hold 8 Gig....maybe editing will starve off any problems....I feel like totally feasting out actually....and I feel like erotic sex....you know...without being able to transfer any nastie diseases.....some evil force is out to put the claw grip of death on that urge...man...not that anyone would be interested in me now...with the fangs...fanging everywhere except how I want them...you know if you're reading this and you're young....I defiantly recommend enjoying your youth ...not that I'm that old......but I certainly feel like I'm not getting the most out of my life....in terms of what I could be....have....you know the usual ..cry about life....which really annoy's me...because sometimes I feel so happy....you know the happiness...where you just wish you could walk up to complete strangers...and throw you're arms around them....and no body would give a shit...because everybody else was just feasting out on the spirit of life....I think when you have no one else on you're team to share the joy ....the happiness...and of course the downtimes....you just don't feel great about life...When you sit and watch a show with music on the T. V....and it's just so stereotypically conservative...you just sometimes wonder what happen to inspiration....I mean that's probably it really in a nut shell....inspiring moments just seem so few when you're locked into the process of repetition....I mean....that may or may not make sense to anyone....
I think I'm just bored....and need a change....I probably should take a holiday.....
I might stop swearing in the journal....I think people are beginning to think it's the only thing I do...when 98% of the time it's what I'm not doing, but if you only read my journal, well it's probably what you think I do 98% of the time....but the journals only about 2% of my life....so that's probably quite an interesting thing to note.
I defiantly feel like doing something....but what do you do at 4:18 in the morning....??...probably check out the next scene.
I need some hot weather....some luscious babe...putting some sun tan oil on me....and maybe a Margarita...or some kind of lime flavored cocktail...and then I need to be dragged up to some luscious sweet...like "The Grand Royal"....with a huge ensemble...and fluffy carpets you can role around on.....and get hot and sexy.....that would be great if I didn't have my period....some life and timing...just don't work out. ..
Doesn't that sound like a Vegas...or Miami weekend ??
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4:25a
Reality is lame man...
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4:29a
I'm going to go on a single guy search....
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4:31a
and I'll probably go and update my skills through some course....but I defiantly want to do something exciting...because I'm sick of being bored out my brains...
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4:35a
Maybe I should just go...right...I'm going to find my million dollar guy...and make my life, just the way I want it..
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4:51a
But then they go...."oh she's only after him for his money"...blah...blah...maybe my film will make a million...lol. You know I was reading this article a couple of day's about, not that I should have...but it's about guy's dating girls...and it caught my attention so I read it, and it went on about how you know there's the pretty girl and her friend who is less pretty and they go out....blah...blah...and how initially he goes for the pretty one...but settles for the less pretty one because of say 100 reasons....and all of them faults he found with the pretty one....Now not that I'm pretty...but you know if I was out, and had high heal's on...it would be a rare occasion, but you know if I really wanted to go out and enjoy myself on a night out on the town....or whatever....and some guy that's never even met me, decided to make a judgment against me because I was wearing high heals...well most likely neither would I want to be with them. And you know if some guy judged me, because I was wearing some clothes that happen to be fashionable with a particular crowd...well most likely I wouldn't want to be with him either....I mean if a guy appreciates me for who I am, and doesn't have to judge every piece of my life against there own standards....which more than likely has been shaped by something they've read or seen, that appeals to their sense of standards or whatever....I mean if the guy's going to start judging....rather than getting to know...well who want's to be with him anyway.... I mean by the end of the article it seemed kind of obvious that it wasn't because the less than pretty girl was more suitable for him, it was because his standards we're not high enough...and he didn't have what it takes to snag the pretty girl....because he hadn't worked out how....and he settled for the easy option....
It was quite interesting... of course his mind didn't interpret the scenario like that....but from an outside person looking in....well that's how I saw it...
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4:55a
I think I'm going into Men's Fashion....basically I want to glamorize them a bit...so they look worth going out with.
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5:00a
Mind you that doesn't mean I'm about to go out and buy 20 evening dresses...I'm really not that big on dresses. But I do like skirts...just not pencil skirts that the guy's tend to find quite sexy....
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5:17a
Anyway....I might go to bed....
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10:01p
So hey....want some good news for a change....here's the latest photo update
http://www.lipcrack.com/gumcompare10.bmp
it probably doesn't look that much different from say
http://www.lipcrack.com/gumcompare8.bmp
But if you look closely you can see that the pink coral color is extending further back towards the back of the teeth cavern area....of course it does look brighter red in the top area....but I think that's just actually an air bubble or something....which isn't actually there .....which will probably be evident by the next photo... so that's something ..
You know after this is all done....I might even get rid of my tummy mole...or at least I'm thinking about it...
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10:12p
I'll probably give it another week to see how it heal's up...and then maybe....just maybe go in at it again if I think they're will be a chance of clearing it myself 100% successfully.
Ill probably change back to the straight pink fillings as well...
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11:33p
Oh yeah....and ended up canceling the eye appointment, basically my times out of schedule so I need to reconfirm when I know what's going on...most likely the week after next.
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