|
|
Friday, May 2nd, 2008
|
3:25p
So just got home, had a couple of things to take care of in town, and although things have been going pretty smoothly in terms of animating....I have to take a break from it for a couple of day's not sure what mum and dad have planned for the weekend, but if it doesn't rain, someone's going to need to sweep up all the leaves and I'm betting its not going to be mum and dad....
It's probably not such a bad thing...because I can do with the exercise...although it's a little time consuming and there's defiantly better things to be doing with the time....
Other than that, not a lot going on....worry sometimes about mum and her driving...she tell's me she's fine, but I get a different feeling myself...and sometimes just wonder...if I should be worrying at all...you know...if anything...I should be worrying about my own situation in life.....I mean....you know if I had a job, I'd move out and live on my own...but the fact that I don't.....well it just seems to put me in a different situation....and then well I still feel that something quite dubious has gone in via job networks etc for getting employment...and blah...blah...I go on about it all the time....like I was talking to this lady in the shop today....you know...just when I'm ready to go any put stuff out on tables at markets the car blows up...and sure I could fix it...and sure I could look at buying another car....blah...blah...but by the time I've paid for car repairs, any profits I may have made on the goods, well I've lost it repairing the car...which is why people who live in the city have it made man....it's just convenient to do everything.....with little or no hassles.....I need to find a property....or get smart about some other type of business....because if I'm not going to go into retail.....I have to do something else...but I am actually interested in going into retail......so yeah....keep having to work my way through problems....and of course meanwhile....Lipcrack hangs in limbo in terms of live performances....
Of course I'll keep working on the film.......but you know.....I did actually give myself to this year in terms of birthday's etc....to try and get my life together.....in terms of making a choice and going with it.....honestly though I do feel let down, not about life in particular.....but in terms of well why can't I find a job...and you cant tell me it's eductation....I still believe it's something else...and it could even be Adelaide...I mean I know they're laying off people in all different sectors, I'm aware of where the current trends for employment are going to be....but at the end of the day....it's people....and accommodating the needs of them....so I still think it's a tough choice...and I don't know that going back to University....would make the final desired outcome...which personally for me, would be a better standard of living...any more ascertainable, and I say that due to the competitiveness of the marketplace....but I do know whatever and how ever many things I do....trying to find that right occupation for me...I'm just going to have to give it my all....mind you...the biggest thing that I kind of feel let down about...is that during...what I consider where perhaps my most energetic day's in life (not that I'm less energetic now), and more positive day's where you just felt like you could do anything....well it seems like as time's gone by, there's been such a negative force around me in terms of people I've worked with....with people being accepting of the way I am....it's just taken its toll on my life, and what I feel capable of doing...not to mention...and I'm going to come clean with it...lack of family support...lack of community support....and lack of community networks for building upon the base....no I' not having a big cry...I'm just telling you some of the things that have been lacking in my life...and when I see how well other people are doing....I just feel that they've been supported....and maybe the mixed demographic has something to do with it as well...let's face it...it's an aging population....and most of the time they're focused on their own needs......That is why I feel the X-Generation has kind of been done over a bit in terms of recognizing that they have needs as well....
So I guess I'm feeling a little bit left out in the lurch a bit......not only that....and I am actually going to swear now...and I think this is something deliberate that's been going on for quite a while now....in terms of Music Grants for Touring I read today that the closing date was tomorrow....but how many times in the past two months, three months, four months for that matter.....have they even advertised that the grants are in process...I really think they suck.
So anyway I'm calling it a day to day...and will be back at things tomorrow.
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|