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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
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2:21a
I've had enough of living through history, again and again, okay, so I have eaten the hundred's and thousand's that I received for my birthday, but that doesn't mean I'm her....it's not possible...this is the real world today...October 31st 2007 , it's not BC or AD for that matter...stop haunting me God dam it...I want to live my life as it is now....
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2:30a
I'm a ghost...I can't believe it...
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8:08p
So turned up to court this morning, and can you believe it, I can when I put everything in perspective, but basically before even getting into the court room's I was harassed by the security on the court room entrance. Basically I go to the court's quite often to get information, visit the Justice of the Peace etc, and there's no problems, this morning when I went in through security, I had the normal belt buckle check, but this time, the asked to see in my camera case, which carries my camera an my passport along with purse. You know nothing too peculiar about that and certainly not big enough to carry anything dangerous, anyway, they asked to see in it fine, but then they asked me to open my purse, now that really is pushing the line a bit, I mean its a hand purse, I couldn't even fit a sharp object like a nail file in it, (which interestingly enough I broke a nail this evening), anyway, I asked, is this harassment ?, one of them replied no, then the next guy start's approaching me and say's "no using your camera in side", "I responded "Why ? have something to hide", at that he seemed to become annoyed, and ask for me to give him my camera, I responded no, turned around and continued to the court room.
Anyway, that was enough to throw me off my guard, and arouse my suspicion. When I arrived in court, I really didn't have any idea of procedure, by which I mean, I didn't realize I had to report to one of the court clerks and put my plea in there, I was just kind of expecting to be called and saying it then.
So basically explained when I was called that I had spoken with a solicitor and I had also contacted legal aid, I was a little bit emotionally upset by what had occurred on the way into the court rooms and bought it to the courts attention. You know there were three present, and they just seemed to come at me in a really intimidating way.
Following that the Judge requested that I get onto legal aid, and put it aside till the 21st of December. I'm okay with that.
Left the court's and after I stepped out, thought to myself, that I should go and say something to reception in case someone asked about the incidence. There two elderly people on the counter, over 65 volunteers I believe. Anyway, it appear's that they were not present when it occurred, because when I asked if they'd seen it, she replied something similar too, I might not have been in the room, or I may have left my desk or something similar, and thinking back, I can't recall if they were on reception when I arrived, there may have been someone there briefly, however, they may have left when my purse was being inspected, not sure.
Then again, it cold have been that the reception people weren't there, and the security saw this as an opportunity to ruff me up a bit..
So that was the morning, had some lunch, and on the way discovered a new underwear shop that's opened, and good prices too, so I'll defiantly be going back there, bought a new pair of thongs with some of my birthday money....and came home and crashed.....I am kind of exhausted mentally and emotionally from everything....
and it's not as though there's less to do....there's more in terms of work, paperwork etc...but you know...I pretty much want a lot of things out of my life so that I can get a clear run for a change..
Still need to do my taxes, credit card bill etc..and tomorrow find out what's going on with the
dental care.
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11:05p
So you know, when thing's aren't quite to your liking you go searching for information, you know I've never really got into this whole ""Australia" thing because I've never really got it. By which I mean understanding it's conception or the "greater plan". The fact that it was settled by convict's still isn't any great joy, and coming to term's will all level of crime, still baffle's me. But after today's incidence with the court room's and my purse, I had a word with dad, because there's just way to many thing's I'm not understanding because in all essence, I consider myself a good person. So I went looking for a little more information on Australia and it's settlers. You know once again, I dispute quite a bit of information that's out there, and given building design, where ethnic communities reside etc, I decided to further investigate, mind you it's mainly NSW where information is available online, but anyway, first I took a look at this site
http://www.immi.gov.au/living-in-australia/choose-australia/about-australia/nation-and-people.htm
This sentence interested me : "Migrants arriving with and after the First Fleet were mainly English convicts and free settlers. They included Italians, Greeks, Malays and people from other parts of Europe."
That actually read to me as though only the convicts were English and rest were free settlers. So
I went to this site :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Fleet
Now if you consider that, you would have to say there's no Italian or Greek of Malay names in that. So a question that puzzles me, is how they all got into the country, and it's not a discriminatory question, it's a point of fact. Of course I could go to the immigration museum and get a little more information but that's not important at this stage.
So what I did was take a closer look at the list of convicts on the first fleet, located here,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convicts_on_the_First_Fleet
anyway, if you look closely you'll notice this "Note that the "from" refers to where they were tried, not their place of birth or residence.".
So that's actually a very interesting statement because it does actually verify my belief's that the English get a bit of a bad rap, when it comes to Australia, fact is that many of these people may not be English born. But following that, what it does bring to my attention is that many prominent names that are now vying for Political Status in Australia are actually descendent's of convicts. (and I only just noticed that John Howards name is on that list, I'm acutally refering to South Australian's currently rallying for policial status).
I don't know whether I should find that amusing or disturbing. But I guess at the end of the day, what I don't enjoy about life in general, is being cast into a sea of mass populating criminal's, and the genocide of innocent people, who are losing the ability to maintain life due to an inability to resort to crime. I think that's wrong and I'm very offended by that.
Anyway I don't want to go on about it, but all I do know is, I have a mountain of hurt and mistrust, and unhappiness mixed with anger, when I recognize how a good life in essence, is turning out in this country. I mean when I was at school, I believe I rose to a position of "power", via student representation due to my willingness to work with people, but after leaving school, you discover that there's a whole group of people working together, and it's not always' for your own interest but for there's. So that's another thing I'm not happy about, because the word Australian community, is not addressing community at all and, it most definitely is discriminatory in terms of all political rallying at the moment. You know I don't just want a family that works just for me, I want a family that works together, and I really feel that many of us are getting left out of the community and discriminated against in the process. How can you have a community where majority rules when there are clearly multiple minorities...it is just not a system of fairness.
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