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Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
2:38 pm - La la la I'm happy
Although my exam went badly,i'm still sooo happy. Cos is back and i've just bought a copy of TTT.Awesome ! Happy happy happy !!!! :))))))))))))))))))

current mood: cheerful
current music: Irene-Toby Mac

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3:01 am - YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!
I'm so happyyyyyyyyy !! Matt and Ali have just had the access to Cos.They are fixing th boards. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!! *fingers crossed* Yay yay yay yay yayyyyyyyyyyy !!!! I was bouncing up and down in the my room,singing. Tony's probably thinking i'm really insane.Half an hour ago i was grunting,now im singing ...Yayayayayayayayay !!!!! Happy happy happy !! And TTTs will be out tomorrow...Happy happy happy !!!!

current mood: hopeful
current music: All my loving-The Beatles

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Monday, August 25th, 2003
9:36 pm - It's hard to day goodbye ....
There's something in your eyes that's far too revealing
Why must it be like this a love without feelin'
Something is wrong with you I know
I see it in your eyes
Believe me when I say
It's gonna be OK

I told you from the start I won't be demanding
I won't be demanding
If you have a change of heart I'll be understanding
I'll be understanding
When love becomes a broken heart and dreams begin to die
Believe me when I say
We'll work it out some way

I'll never try to hold you back
I wouldn't try controlling you
If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you
And if there's something else that you're looking for
I'll be the first to help you try
Believe me when I say
It's hard to say goodbye

We've lost that loving touch we used to feel so much
I try to hide the truth that's in my eyes
The love without feeling
But when I feel we're not in love, I know I'm losing you
Believe when I say
We'll work it out some way

I'll never try to hold you back
I wouldn't try controlling you
If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you
And if there's something else that you're looking for
I'll be the first to help you try
Believe me when I say
It's hard to say goodbye

Don't say goodbye

If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you

I'll never try to hold you back
I wouldn't try controlling you
If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you
And if there's something else that you're looking for
I'll be the first to help you try
Believe me when I say
It's hard to say goodbye

I'll never try to hold you back
I wouldn't try controlling you
If it's what you want
It's what I want
I want what's best for you
And if there's something else that you're looking for
I'll be the first to help you try


current mood: blah
current music: It's hard to say goodbye

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6:43 pm
damn it ! I was going to say something but i forgot it.Arrggrr. !!Someone helps me to get back to my sanity, please ... I don't think i can take it anymore...I need Cos,please give me back my boards !! Pleaseeeeee... F*ck those hosty people !

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1:42 pm - yahhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm so sleepy,have no ideas why. I want to go to town to do some shopping but my eyes are just half open. Ahh,might have a nap,then go to town when i get up.

current mood: sleepy

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11:50 am - Another boring day ...
Life is tough. Yeah,it is ! I should have known that ages ago ..My life sucks.Sometimes i ask myself who i am,who i really am,and then cant figure out the answer. I can be 3 years old,10 years old,15 years old,18 years old or even 30 years old ...I can't tell the differences between dreams and real life,my imagination confuses me .. I refuse to live in reality.I can't get out of my own world,the world in which i desire to live in. It was just bad when you suddenly realised how far you'd fallen behind.I've been locking myself up in my room,facing the wall and my computer.I've been hiding from my friends,my family and the world. I just wanna live my own life and feel completely independent, i don't want to talk to anybody except for some people on Cos.Dunno why,they are all i want to talk to. Perhaps,'cause they are a bit weird like me,they like old music and they'r crazy about HPs...blah .. I don't feel like writing.I dont feel like thinking. My mind is actually blank.God,i'm really insane .................. F*ck that host,it's been 4.5 days without Cos and they still refuse to fix that fucken problem. I wish i could kill them myself.f***ckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

current mood: depressed
current music: If you're not the one-Daniel Bedingfield

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10:47 am
My tear's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
It's not so bad and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through
then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
and even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue because you're near me and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

current mood: content
current music: Thank you-dido

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10:12 am - ahhhhhhhhhhh
What happened to my journal last night? Couldn't get in.. F#**k!!
Cos is still down.*sigh* Dunno how the staff meeting was.lani wasn't online.Couldn't find anyone else to ask ...

BOred! I might go to the movie later.Nothing else to do.Can't study ...

current mood: bored
current music: For you-The Calling

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Sunday, August 24th, 2003
11:19 am - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm going insane !!!! I tell you what,Cos I need Cos,I neeeeed my forumssssssss !!!!!!!!!!! F#ck it ! Damn it ! My brain is not working ! I feel like i don't exist ... What the hell they think they're doing ????? They are killllllllllinggggggggg meeee !!!! F#ckkkkkkkk!!!!!

I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! I want my Forums! !!...

current mood: frustrated
current music: Back For Good-Take That

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12:44 am
Les arbres perdent leurs feuilles ! Je suis peiné ... :( Je n'as pas de chance ! Tu ne comprends jamais ....

current mood: envious
current music: No lies,just love-Bright Eyes

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12:16 am
I can't study.Dunno why.Something's distracting me so much but i couldn't figure out what it is...:( I've been making some cool sigs,but don't know when i will be able to use them again. Ahhh,i miss Cos even more than i miss him.. I think i'm becoming less and less normal. Without Cos,my life is boring ..S( I always feel like some parts of me are missing..I've become moody.. Not good at all ... F##k that server's technicians ! I just wanna find them and slap them on the faces. Nasty,stupid,lazy people,don't understand how important the forums are to us. F*ck them !!! I'm in such a bad mood now ! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

current mood: stressed
current music: 18 and Life-Skid Row

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Saturday, August 23rd, 2003
9:25 pm
The Sword In The Stone still rocks.I've just finished watching it.A great movie it still is. Make me feel a bit better ...

Cos is still down.Dunno when it'll be back. I miss it,i really do ...Ahhh i want it back ! :grumble:

I'm a little sleepy.Perhaps i should have a bath then go to bed. Another day's gone,waiting,hoping for nothing ..

Someone told me today that i looked like Mandy Moore.Gosh,they didn't know how much i hated her. Urrggrrr.
I want to have a hair cut tomorrow but haven't made an appointment yet,so maybe next week..
I'm wanting some ice-cream but it's getting late and i'm lazy.It's cold outside.

Nothing else to tell ya...might get back later .

current mood: content
current music: I'm with you- Avril Lagvine

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7:06 pm - sad ...
Sunny came home to her favourite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission
She says days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire
Sunny came home with a list of names
She didn't believe in transcendence
It's time for a few repairs she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance
She says days go by I don't know why
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind "
Into the fire
Get the kids and bring a sweater
Dry is good and wind is better
Count the years , you always knew it
Strike a match , go on and do it
Days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire
Light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own and she's alright
Sunny came home
Sunny came home

current mood: cold
current music: Sunny Came Home- Shawn Colvin

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4:59 pm - Blast !
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh,COS is still down !Dam it ! Dam it ! :( I really need it back. I've just annoyed a few people...Anyway,dun care. I'll annoy people 'till Cos is up again. Boring,boring,boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring boring ...

I might try to get some study done.Dun think i can though. *cough* *sob* *sigh*

current mood: bored
current music: Unhappy Anniversary-Vitamin C

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8:44 am
*yawn* Ahh 8.44,too early to be up. Just got up to check on Cos and dam it !! :(( It's still down. I'm gonna be crazy,i'm gonna crazy,i'm gonna CRAZY !!!!!!!! Please, give us back the forums ...!!! :sob: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ......

current mood: bitchy
current music: I'm with you-Avril ft. Jessie

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2:29 am - Dog,Cat and Rabbit
Couldn't sleep! My cat was scratching the door madly when i nearly got to sleep.Had to open the door for her. My brother's dog-Frenzy is chasing her all around the house..God,it is noisy. Noone is online on Aim or Msn nor Yahoo.I'm all on my own. Boring !! My rabbit is sleeping.She looks so cute .. I'm wanting to give her a kiss,but nah,i'll let her sleep. There's no excuses to wake an innocent creature up in the middle of the night ...Ahhhhh i wish i could get to sleep like her..

Ahh mozzies,two mozzies ..Arrrgggrrr. !!! I can't catch them,stupid little evil things.Wonder where the hell they came from. ###@!! Gotta run upstair to get the insects spray thingy. Be back soon !

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12:49 am
eating people
YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

current music: Love bites-Def Leppard

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Friday, August 22nd, 2003
11:57 pm - Someone hurt me ..
Is it true God only take care of churchy-people ?? NO ! I have my own way to believe in Him.Everyday,i pray at home. I don't need to go to church to show people that i have faith in God. If God can love anybody,He can love me. I don't care what people think.It's frustrated when people tell you that real faith only exists in churchy people !

It's raining again..I hate the rain. It's been rainy for all week,stupid weather ! Rain reminds me of my childhood,me and friends used to play in the rain...I was so happy when i was small that i hate my life now... I remember my childhood friends,my little playground,my Barbies ...I remember every little thing that i used to do as a child...Sometimes,my only wish,my only desire is to be able to turn back time,to live a simple and innocent life again ...Money's ruined everything. What do i need money for ? Nothing ! I hate to think about it. I wish my family was like before,not rich but happy ...Nah,i don't wanna talk about it,i'm gonna cry again. *sigh*

I'm tired.I'm gonna have a bath then go to bed. Hopefully,Cos'll be back tomorrow ..*fingers cross*

current mood: tired
current music: Haligh,Haligh,a lie,Haligh-Bright Eyes

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11:50 pm - Don't ...
Don't think,don't eat,don't talk,don't smoke,don't listen,don't care,don't mind,don't know,don't go,don't sleep,don't study,don't love,don't like,don't fight,don't hide,Don't HURT Me ...!

current mood: angry
current music: Sunrise,sunset- Bright Eyes

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11:45 pm - Does anybody care ?
Today is a bad day ! I'm sad.I'm bored.I'm mad.I'm disappointed ...Does anybody care ? Does anybody really care ?

Another big fight with my brother ..Aggrrr I hate him !

Someone, please, give me back my forums! I'm dying,i really am ...I need Cos to live ! @#@# !

current mood: angry
current music: Sunrise,sunset- Bright Eyes

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