Blurty for Steve. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (The Moblog). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Thursday, May 12th, 2005

Subject: A Better Weekend Than Expected... Time: 8:57 pm. Mood: good. Music: Snoop Dogg & Justin Timberlake *Signs*.

Geez, I'm gonna look so crazy tomorrow for not getting any sleep at all. It's alright though. I have to tell about my weekend. It was originally gonna suck. Only because Steve was gonna go to Sarah's prom and I was sure that John and Zully was gonna hang out also. So my initial plan was to stay at home, watch Smallville Season 2 in my pajamas with some ice cream the entire time. Well Friday rolled around and Ronica and Chelesa called. They wanted to hang out Friday night instead of Sunday (because something came up for Sunday). Didn't really want to. Later when I actaully wanted to do something, John asked if I wanted to hang out. So I said sure. We were lookin for a CD and maybe a shirt... well he was, so we stopped in at Target. We got there and I was tellin him about this girl who my mom talks to her about. Well she goes to another high school but I think she may sorta like me. So John took me over to where she was and pushed me near her so I would talk to her. She was only right behind me so we talked for a bit. Then when he wanted to leave, he wanted me to find her and say goodbye. Although I couldn't find her for a while, we were gonna give up looking for her and on my way out I looked back and saw her and waved to her. She waved back and smile. It was the "Bye, see you soon" good type of smile. So after that, we headed to Best Buy. Talked to Ashley for a minute and we left and went to Petsmart. That was fun. We looked at the chameleons for a good while. Watching their eyes move in different directions. I was thinkin of getting another anole but I think I want one of those now. ^_^ Moving on, so then we headed to Wal-mart because we were out of ideas. Walked around there for a few minutes and left. He took me to Zully's house so I could see the mansion she lives in. Which... she does. Nice nerighborhood though. On the way to her house, Steve called and asked what we were doing. We told him nothing so he asked us if we wanted to come over and watch a movie. So after Zully's house, we headed to Steve's house. We waited for Sarah's friend Britney to get there. While we waited for her, we hung out in the kitchen and talked. o.o John was told that he couldn't make any black jokes so Britney wouldn't be offended. Which John makes a lot of them, but it's in good taste. They aren't made to be racist and are far from it. I joke around with him. So when she finally got there, we were watchin Paul's porn tape for a few minutes while him (Paul), Steve, John, and I laughed hysterically. Sarahn and Britney covered their faces so they couldn't see it. He tried to take it out but it got stuck in there and he couldn't get it out which made it more halirious. He did get it out although it was eaten by the VCR. Then we flipped through channels and ordered "After The Sunset". We watched it for a while and John got tired so he took me home. Came home and slept. Went to work the next day. Came home after running some errands and was chillin in my room and I heard The Starting Line's "Best of Me" coming from outside. No one around here blasts music and I never heard anyone ever listening to them before so I looked outside to see who it was and no one was there. So, I sat there for a minute wondering who it was and looked at the clock. It was 640!!! They were performing for Salisbury University's Field Day. I was originally gonna go but because no one wanted to go and it was 10 bucks I decided not to. They started at 6 and was planned to be off the stage around 15 after 7. So I sat there for a second wondering if I should go find them. I mean, they couldn't be too far if I was hearing them at my house. So I said "why not", threw some pants on and jumped in the car. Rolled the windows down and stopped at every stop sign for like a good minute. I finally found where they were (maybe 5 minutes from the house). So I parked in some random Doctor's office parking lot, got out the car and started walking. Soon arrived at the concert. Luckily it was outside (although fenced but that was because you had to pay to get in). I didn't feel like getting cash or leaving so I stood outside the fence and watched them play. They were sorta small but I could hear it very well and could tell who was who. They played for a good half an hour so I was happy. Came back home and fell asleep. Jordan called me a little after midnight dead drunk. He was asking me about my day and stuff. Talked to Ashley (who was with him) for a good minute and Steve beeped in. I thought it was odd seeing how it was his g/f's prom night (which they went to) and it was 1220. I clicked over and he asked if I wanted to go over his house and watch a movie. I said sure, not like I had anything else to do. So got off the phone and got ready. Came to get me and we headed back to his crib. (haha crib). We waited for Britney to arrive. In the meantime, we were (including Paul lol) talking and eating. The plan was to stay up all night watching movies then head to breakfast in the morning. I hadn't told them I had to be to work by 8 though because I knew if I had, they would have been like "Your going home" or something along those lines. So when Brintey arrived, we put on The LadyKillers. Got boring so we put on Austin Powers: Goldmember. That was Sarah's pick. By most of the movie, Sarah and Britney had fallen asleep and Steve was on his way. So him and I agreed Dawn of The Dead would wake him up. Put the movie in and Steve couldn't sit through the beginning credits before he wanted to turn it off. lol I admit, the movie was really eerie but it looked good. So we changed to Alfie and Sarah had awoken by then. We watched that and during the movie, Britney woke up. Good movie. After that was over, the girls went into the kitchen and Steve and I was watching tv. He was trying to go to sleep but I had to keep pulling the blanket off of him so he wouldnt. It was already 4 oclock. Why go to sleep when your almost there. So we wound up just watching videos. We left Steve take a nap. Then Sarah and Britney went back to sleep. I was still up and it was 6. So I was watching t.v. Steve woke up about 630 and was making coffee and I finally told him I had to go to work. So we had to wake the girls up by 720 so we could leave to bring me back home. All of us was tired and looking crazy. I came home, got ready and left for work. And man was the first 2 hours very sucky at work. After that I came home and went to sleep. Woke up though and just kinda did nothing as usual. So this weekend was supa cool. Pretty much like every weekend since Junior Senior. Hangin out with the best friends.... Doesn't get much better than that. And its cool because I haven't really had that much fun hangin out with friends since Ricky and I chilled. Today was good though. Steve still looked tired from Saturday night. lol But besides that, that's it. I really gotta start updatin more so I don't have to do thiese long entries. Well, I'm off to hopefully be back within a day or two. Later people.

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Subject: The Past Week & Tonight's Fun Time: 2:14 am. Mood: exhausted. Music: steel train *Blown Away*.

Been a good while huh? I've been wanting to put an entry in here since at least last weekend but I just haven't had the time to. Well last weekend was somewhat interesting. Last Friday, Steve and I started talkin about Ricky and he made a joke about how we act like a couple. No big deal but he kept laughin and laughin and laughin and I got somewhat upset so I got indirectly buck just to let him know to chill. Well, we didn't talk the rest of the day. Came home and was chillin. John and I were talkin online and he came to pick me up. We went drivin around. Hit some stores and had some fun. Bout 2 hours later he drove me home and my friends Ronica and Chelsea called out of nowhere. They wanted to come over and hang out so they did around 11. They stayed round and we talked and chilled til about 2. We went out to Dunkin Donuts as they were throwin out the donuts from the day and took them and bounced. Came back and had a good life for a while. Work was a bitch the next day because it was so damn long. Came home and hangin round for a while. Steve calls and I miss it but then sees he calls so I call him back. He invites me to go out to the movies with him, Sarah, and Britney (Sarah's friend). I say "Sure, why not?". Well, they came to pick me up after while and we headed to the movies since I had movie passes and we were all broke. We went to see A Lot Like Love. It was a good movie but just sorta long and drawn out. Steve and I are pretty much cool again although I'm kinda upset he didn't even apologize for Friday. But I didn't care. So they take me home. Sunday was chill day. Worked on my Psychology collage about me. Stayed up all night doing it. It's really nice. Maybe I can put some pics of it up here soon. Sooo, this week was alright. I didn't really get a lot of sleep this week. Well, I did but I kept fallin asleep on accident and not getting any of my homework done. Espically since I had to work Tuesday through Thursday. Ahhh, I hate not having enough people in our department. I mean, I'm gettin the money I neeed sorta bad but it's the principle of the matter. Yeah so work is alright. School has it's ups and downs. I'm ready to get out. Not really wanting to do much work. I have a C in pretty much most of my classes. SO I gotta bring those up in 3 weeks now. e.e Horribly upset. But its cool. I made peace between Adesuwa and Steve for a day but the next day it was pretty much obvious they aren't friends anymore... at all. Kinda made me sad. I tried but nothing. And John and Steve got into a little spat with Megan and Sharon (two girls that sit at our table that are mad at John for going out w/ his current g/f... long story made short). That made me somewhat uncomfortable since John & Steve are like my best friends but I kinda like Sharon and Megan. But my friend Sarah is there so it's good. We just talk about The OC. lol My friend Ryan talked to one of his band buddies and he's willing to teach me how to play the piano. Wooo. I'm kinda excited. I was going to this coming up Monday but I have to work. Ricky and I are decent again. Probably the best we've been in a long time. No confrontations and Im having fun talking to him again. Kinda lookin forward to seein him this summer (hopefully sooner). Adesuwa wants his body. lol I gave her a picture of him to put in her locker because she was talkin about him like crazy. Well, Steve and John were supposed to be busy tonight (or Friday night) so I made up the excuse that Friday night was gonna be the night I sat home with some ice cream and catch up on my shows (or have a 2nd season marathon of Smallville since I bought that boxset a week or 2 ago). So I was on the way home today and decided to check my messages on my phone. I come to one message from Steve from last Friday from when he first called me and I missed his call. I listened to it and he apologized for what had happened on Friday. It sorta made my day. Mad cool points to him. I had been goin through the entire week thinking he hadn't really cared about what happened or didn't care to apologize. But he actually had. So I came home and started watchin the 2 hours of The OC from the night before (GOOD STUFF!1!111!!!). Ronica called and asked if I wanted to hang out later that night and I didn't really want to that late (@ 10ish) and I told her no because I thought we were doin something Sunday (which we were but she told me tonight she couldn't anymore). So she got upset because I didn't wanna hang out late tonight. So John was bored and I was bored so we went out. We went to look for 3 Doors Downs' new CD, and then headed by Petsmart. I think I'm gonna get me another lizard (or 2) come this summer. We were lookin at the chameleons and how their eyes move and stuff. We stood there for a good while laughing and staring. We left, headed to Wal-mart, then to see his g/f's house. Steve had called us during the time so we headed to his house. We hung out there. It was me, John, Steve, Sarah (his g/f), and Paul (his bro). We were hangin out in his kitchen waiting for Britney (Sarah's friend) to come over so we could watch a movie. So we hung out for a while. Sarah's friend came over. And we watched the first 15 minutes to a 007 movie. No one was watchin it so we turned it off. Then Paul brung a porno tape down and we watched and laughed at that for about 5 minutes (there's a story that goes along with that). Then he got it stuck in the VCR. Another funny moment. Then we watched a movie which I cant remember but we were tired so John and I left. Came home ate and been chillin since. But I'm really tired so I'm gonna hit the hay. I gotta be up tomorrow to go to work. I'm gettin the Aladdin series (^_^!!!). I'm goin through this classic Disney movie phase. So I'mma get that and my mom a Mothers' Day gift. But I'm starting to fall asleep as I type this so I'm goin. Im sure I'll be back tomorrow. Well, later guys/// tirls.

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Subject: The Boy's Gone Time: 6:46 am. Mood: sad. Music: Keane *Walnut Tree*.

The prom entries have been put on an indefinite hold. I can't really do them. Yesterday kind of... stunk. First bad day in a long time. I came home yesterday morning and didn't have my keys to the house. So I was locked out for nearly an hour. It was too bad because it was bright and sunny outside. So ya know, I'm not gonna let something like that bring me down. So yesterday went by... and left. And it became Sunday. I hadn't heard from Steve all day. Sarah, him, and I were supposed to go to H20 last nite. My friends, Janeen, Ronica, and Adrienne were going and we told them on Prom night we were gonna be there too. So they called me and asked me where I was and I told them @ home because I hadn't heard from Steve. So they told me to call them and I didn't want to then only because I figured he'd call me like he usually does. So I called and I think someone picked up but didn't say anything. So I texted him and didn't get anything back. So I dunno what happened last nite. I usually don't put stuff like that in here. I didn't want to. I feel like I'm weak for one and that I kinda get too excited about it. I feel like a kid. I feel naive and childish for being upset. Most of me is weird. Only because I haven't felt this feeling since.... Ricky ditched me on my birthday. No I'm not saying Steve is in any way like Ricky... cause he's not. As a matter fact, Steve really isn't fond of Ricky because he's had friends like that before. I'm kinda worried something happened because Steve wouldnt just ditch me..... I know he has a good reason. So I guess I'mma try and not gonna worry about it. Anyway, now that I've basically showed everyone out there the side of me I hate the most, I'm leaving. I'll probably just sit here and listen to music because I got up "too" early to get ready for work. So I'll come back later when something happens? Later. On a sidenote: Check out my user info. I've put my moblog in the space of my website. So you guys can see who I'm talking about and stuff. Hope you enjoy.

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Subject: Before The Prom... Time: 6:18 pm. Mood: happy.

Well because it was such a long day and I get into detail, I've decided to separate Friday into three parts...before the actual prom, the prom festivities, and after prom. Soooo, here is part 1 of Prom. Enjoy :-) The Day After... Prom. lol You thought I was gonna say Tomorrow didn't you? Hah, anyways, let's go back to Friday. Lots of stuff happened. Friday was a pretty much a chill day at school. I only had 3 classes. Seniors got to leave at 12:08 to get ready for prom so I left with Steve. He brought me home. I came home and was hanging round. Tried on my tux that my mom brought home a little after I got home. Fit nicely. Then I finally watched Thursday's The OC and I don't know what happened the last 5 minutes but.... oh shit. And the preview for the next 4 episodes... holy shit. I swear I watched it 10 times and freaked out everytime I watched it. lol Then I started cleaning up my room. Steve called and told me he was coming to pick me up in the Excursion (woooo!) at 430 because we had reservations(that he made that day lol) at 5 at the Goin Nuts Cafe and we could back to his house after afterprom and watch a movie and I could crash there. I didn't start gettin ready til 410ish. Luckily he was late so I had ample time to get everything ready. The multiple cameras, the batteries, clothes for Afterprom and all that good stuff. So right before he came, my mom took pictures and whatever. Steve and his date, Megan, finally got there and we went out to eat. Dinner was nice. Although since we were in our tuxedos and dresses(Megan was), everyone was eyeballin us and grinning. Ah, I hate that. We stood out like crazy. But they complimented us so it made it better. Although I stood out a bit more because *whispers* I was the only black person there. lol So moving on, Steve and Megan ordered all fancy soundin stuff so I ordered Fried Shrimp & rice cover in honey. The bill came and apparently there's was like "Burger King most expensive combo meal biggie size (i know what I just said)". And mines was like both of theirs combined together. lol So I was kinda upset about THAT but it was prom night. Mines well it nice huh? And its not like I had a date so it's like I had one... at least for dinner. By this time it was around 615ish. We didn't have to be at Grand Marche until 730 so we had some time to blow. So we round around trying to find Adesuwa's house (she's our friend, but most of our friends went over her house to eat (inlcuding John but that's because he was her date). She didnt invite us because we already had plans which was a big fuss like 2 days earlier). Moving on, so we tried to find her house to see if they were over there. After driving round, we went back to Steve's house because his parents were going to escort us to prom. So they took pictures of Steve and Megan and all (I was even in one ^_^) So we left for Grand Marche at UMES. We finally got there and we had to jump out the car and go in because we had to get in line. And I didn't get my camera ;_; I was upset.

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Time: 7:36 am. Mood: blah.

Quick entry before I go to school. My mom volunteered to take me so I have a few minutes to relax. Things are going well. Prom is tomorrow. I'm not really excited though. At least not yet. Uh not much has really been going on though. I mean, not to the point where I have to put it in here. I'm a tired though. Mainly because I find something to stay up til 3 o clock in the morning doing. Hell, there's nothing to really talk about. I might go with Steve and some friends to H20 on Saturday (it's a club for those who don't live in Salisbury). I think we're still goin to Rehobooth on Sunday. I think we were initially going to the beach. Yeah, I feel like I'm talking about absolutely nothing.... I think it's cause I just woke up at 7. But something that has been going on... is me being here for a little over a year. It's weird because I sometimes I get these feelings and stuff from when I just moved here. Whether it's listening to the radio when getting ready for school in the morning or the spring air around. It feels nice. I wasn't really happy at the time but it was exciting. I dunno. I guess that was just a ramble. I'm gonna finish getting ready for school now. Senior meeting about senior stuff today. ^_^ Later.

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Subject: Switch... the ReMix. Time: 3:53 pm. Mood: drained. Music: dashboard confessional *screaming infedelities*.

(I actually did this Sunday night but the server was down so here it is). hey people! Things are good here. Let's go where I ended and then talk about it. So I go to work Saturday and it was planned that my dad was gonna come and take me to get fitted for my tux. I didn't hear anything for him, so I went to sleep. Woke up and Steve called and asked if I wanted to hang out. Of course. lol So it was only him, Sarah, and I. No John, Brittany, or Trish. John was at Junior Senior with some girl. Trish and Brittany were doing somethin. So we went to Steve's house and watched Scary Movie 3. That movie is a lot funnier now that I've seen The Ring. It was HALIRIOUS but it was a good movie to watch with some friends. Paul came down and watched it with us. It was rather quiet. Usually Brittany and Trish give a lot more.... energy to the crowd but it was pretty relaxed. After that, we watched the end of Intolerable Cruelty and most of Taking Lives. That's a really good movie. It's like one of those old 90's movies that come on TBS or USA on Sunday that never really end because of twists. It was good. By then, it was a little after midnight so Sarah left and Steve took me home. Went to bed after while because I had to get up and go to work the next morning. Work was alright. Started having fun towards the end. Went to Target to get some toothpaste (I buy the toothpaste in the house.. it's sorta like my "bill") and I saw John there. Came home and picked up a bit. My mom came home and took me out get fitted for my tux at the mall. Once again, I saw John. This time he was with his girlfriend Zuli. Just waved hi to him. So we got fitted for my tux. One that no one at Parkside has. So I'm gonna be special. ^_^ Came home and ate. Went to sleep. Steve called and told me he was on his way. Got up and got ready. Left with Steve, John, and Sarah. We went to Chili's. We sat there and talked for about a hour and a half or so about all sorts of stuff. The only thing we ate was endless chips. I took a picture of Sarah and Steve with my camera phone so she could show her friends (I was gonna send it to her) but my phone won't send anything to anyone. Anywho, we got on the subject of Ricky and they asked me why I was still friends with him. And Sarah told me I should find a new best friend and Steve should be it. And he was like yeah and I was like yeah and John was like "I'll be your best friend Steve". So I felt special night. ^_^ Then we started talkin about finding me someone and a whole slew of other stuff. We eventually got up and left. The ride home was great. John was screaming out the window like a madman and The Darkness "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" came on. Me and John went crazy in the backseat. We were screaming and singing and headbanging. It was halirious!! Then Steve wanted to go "stalk" one of the people him and John hate the most. So that was an extra 15 minutes. So the entire time we were either singing or screaming out the window. We drove past the girls house (the one John and Steve don't like) and pretty much came back. lol Then I came home and guess who called? Ricky defintely called. Well, him and Tracy talked first. And she said somethings to him that I think finally broke through his skull. Because he called me soon after and was really messed up. We talked for a long time. Mostly about how things have been and my look on it. After the talk though, he wants to change. I dont know how long this will stay but he said it will for good. He did sound genuinely sorry though. Him and I talking didn't really move me. I cared but not as much as before. Not really much of all which was how I was able to be honest with him. But I listened to the message he left me when I neglected to pick up the phone and it moved me a bit. But ya know, I got new friends. Those who care about me and those who won't hurt me. And it's too late. I'll still help him but when it comes down to it, he missed out on something he can't get back. Moving on, Steve and I are planning a senior trip. Right now it's the usual. Him, me, Sarah and John (possibly). Although he's not a senior he's still cool people. We're still thinkin of places to go but Myrtle Beach has been brought up more than once. We might go down there for a week and hang out. It'll be so much fun. Oh, Steve is supposed to be moving to Florida next year (bad news!!!). But it's odd. He won't be if his dad doesn't get the job. But he sounds.... flip flop about it. One day he's telling me that me and John can come with him down there for a week or two and hang out in FL. And the next day he's telling me how he's staying and going to Salisbury University(which is here). So I'm rather confused on that front. I'll ask him about it later. Anyways, now that I've done this long entry.... I'm going. Bye guys and remember kill those who piss you off with love and surround yourself with positive things. Let that guide you and a lot of problems shall be solved. :-) Later.

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Subject: Energy Time: 2:36 am. Mood: happy. Music: jon frederik band *energy*.

Hey guys. Sorry about not writing yesterday or Thursday. I was going to but I didn't really have the time to. Guess I should tell about what happened. Thursday was a decent day. I ACED my Trig test and passed my Government test with a very high C. There was an empty seat in Physics beside Steve so we hung out in Physics. Had a argument with Janeen. Basically I wanted to go to prom with Adrienne. I was too afraid to tell her(2nd period). Told my friend Adesuwa in 4th period. Didn't say anything to Janeen in the hallway or my other friend Ronica in 6th period. After that period, I went to Ronica and Janeen (who knew the guy that Adrienne was going with) and asked if he had a busted up grill (hoping theyd say yes). They didn't know what I was talkin about and my friend Adesuwa came over and basically told everything and was laughing. Janeen and Ronica got pissed because I was keeping secrets from them. We got into an argument and I walked off. Came home and finally got shit out of the way. I called the tuxedo rental place. Apparently, they get altered tuxs back the next day. So as long as there are some today(Saturday) then I should be good. So I called my dad and asked if he could come down today and take me there since my mom is out of town. Then I called around for other driving schools. The guy who sets up appointments left me a message so I just gotta call him and tell him when I can drive. Go to work and come home. Horribly annoyed because I got off at 940 and had to wait for my mom and didnt get home til nearly 1130. Janeen left me an away message apologizing and explaining about earlier that day. It was cool. Crashed without doing anything. Woke up and found I was kinda late for the bus. But since I hadn't done my homework, I just stayed home. Woke up around noon and was hangin round the house. The time went by fairly quickly as Steve called and told me he'd be pick me up in about a half and hour to go to the play. He came with Sarah and we headed to school. Went in there and watched a good number of our friends act Alice in Wonderland out. It was really good. Not bad for only 3 bucks. We left there and headed back to Steve's house. Hung out there and waited for John, Brittany, and Trish to get there to watch the Amityville Horror. Paul (one of Steve's many brothers) came down and hung out with us. We watched it. It sucked. BADLY. Never again shall I watch that movie. I hope the remake isn't anything like the original or else a lot of people will be disappointed. Then he dropped me off and I hung round here til now. I really like hangin out with Steve, Sarah, Brittany and Trish. I don't know about John. He's really cool and I like him but sometimes he plays around too much. I make a lot of black people jokes but sometimes it seems like he does it too much. I kinda got sad at a point tonight, but he's still cool. But I defintely get excited when it comes to hangin out with Steve and Brittany. Trish and Sarah are okay but they don't really say alot. Brittany makes a lot of jokes and says I'm her favorite. :-) So we're all going out to Chili's on Sunday. I'm already waiting for it. I kinda want to hang out with them (or at least Steve and his friends) during prom. But then again, I don't wanna push myself on anyone. I still don't know what I'm gonna do about prom. I guess I'll figure out something. Oh, I was so about to go to VA today and hang out with my friends @ Heritage but seeing as how they had a half day and I would have had to plan it in advance, it kinda killed it. I was kinda lookin forward to seeing all my old friends again. But I'm glad I stayed here for the weekend. I had fun tonight. Well, gotta go. Catch ya guys on the flip side.

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Subject: Feelin Bruised & Broken From Our Head on Collision Time: 10:55 pm. Mood: good. Music: mae *tisbury lane*.

Hmm... well, I'm still annoyed. But not as much as yeseterday. Work was alright. It went by pretty fast, which was definetly a good thing. I have to go back tomorrow though. Which sucks. I mean, I don't mind working there, it can be such a hassle though. Good thing I work with Ashley on weekdays. It makes the time fly by pretty quickly. Oh! we bought each other our movies last nite. We both were gonna buy each other one movie the other wanted. So I bought her Problem Child 1 & 2 and she bought me Donnie Darko: Directors Cut. ^_^ So I guess I'll watch it whenever life slows down. Moving on, I got home last nite and Ricky called me. We talked about everything pretty much.... at least along the lines of him changing his life, and smoking weed, and what I was gonna do about it. To make a long story short, I didn't do the usual and "take a break". Because breaks are kinda pointless. I've come to accept him and I will pretty much always be friends and nothing is gonna change that. But I told him not to lie to me anymore about stuff and if I came to the point where it happened again, then I wouldn't be afraid to cut him loose. I've been exceptionally happy the past week. And I don't want it to change. And no one is gonna fuck it up. I'm only surrounding myself around positive things. And he understood. So we came to that conclusion. Because that took an hour, I didn't get the chance to actually have the opportunity to start my homework by 12. And I was dead tired. I lied down and woke up the next morning. I didn't wanna go to school today. Didn't finish my math homework, I had a test in there I hadn't studied for, had a test in Government and Physics I also hadn't studied for. But I thought about my friends which is the only reason why I was "thinking" about going to school. I decided to get up and go though. Especially since I don't really have a lot of days left I can miss. So I wind up going. It wasn't bad though. I believe I aced the math test. I bombed the Physics and maybe passed the government with a D. My mom came and picked me up round 6 period. Came home and talked for a while. And went to sleep. Watched Smallville tonight. It was really good. I love that show alot. It's so.... different. Um and that's about it. I'm still annoyed though. lol I have to go get fitted for a tux very soon. And I don't even know what the hell I'm going to do about a date/ride. I don't know if I'll really have either. But no one said this stuff was gonna be easy huh? And I forgot to call around for driving class. Something I HAVE to do soon because not being able to drive while all this stuff is going on is really a pain in the ass. lol At least I have movie night to look forward to Friday with Steve and Sarah and maybe even John since we're having it after the play (we're going to see it). My mom got The Amityville Horror for Friday. I'm so excited! It's kinda like the thing I look forward to now. Besides that, I guess that's really it. Nothing else has really been on my mind. Well, I've kinda wanted to go down to Heritage to see all my friends in school. I miss them. Well, ya know, I could do it Friday. My mom is going down there Friday morning. But then I'd miss movie night. >_< Dammit. I'm torn. Ah well, I have a day to think about it. More tomorrow folks. 'Til then... (I do realize that the name of the title is different from the song I was currently listening to. iPod changed songs between the time I was thinking of a title and from when I was writing the entry. Soo... I figured I'd keep up with the trend of having titles for songs. So thats why..... dammit, it just changed again. oh well, too bad.)

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Subject: Annoyances & Good Times. Time: 4:18 pm. Mood: annoyed.

I feel like venting a bit before I go to work. I have a lot of homework tonight. It sucks. I have 3 tests tomorrow which sucks even more. I want to go to prom but it's a lot of work. I have to call the limo people and the tux people and I really don't want to. I hate doing that stuff. I hate setting appointments and getting information over the phone. Anyways, today was a decent day at school. Physics was funny. Thomas and Ross came in late from lunch and Thomas gave mr. horwatt a really lame ass excuse. So I coughed bullshit really loud and everyone started laughin. I think that class is growing on me. And just to mention it, my weekend went really well. I went out with Steve, John, Sarah, Brittany, and Trish to Steve's house and to Trish's house for movie night this past weekend. We watched House on Haunted Hill and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They're cool people. We're more than likely going to have another movie night. John's in the play on Friday and I think he wants us to come see but I dunno. I'll think about it. Anyways, I guess I'll get ready for work now and see if my mom remembers to come get me. Jeez, it's such a pain not having a license. Gotta go.

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Subject: Animato Time: 5:53 pm. Mood: cheerful. Music: utada *animato*.

Been nearly two months. Usually I'd do a huge long recap of the past two months but I rather not. I'll leave that as the "black out" period of my life. lol Maybe someday. Anywho, things are pretty good. Let's see, Ricky, my best friend for the newcomers, is a pothead who I'm sick of. Goes to trial on the 28th for stealing one of his dad's checks, writing and signing it for 250 bucks, and cashing it. Jessica is up to go to court again next month for an outstanding drug charge (for possession of cocaine), reckless driving, and driving without a license. So all the important people in VA are doing well. lol I haven't talked to Billy in a while. But not really worried about what's going on down there. Things are finally great here... now that I'm allowing them to be. Prom is less than 2 weeks away. Graduation is June 1st. School is pretty much finishing up. Been hangin out with either Ashley, Jordan and Laura or Steve, John, Brittany, Sarah, and Trish. Um, the family is good. My sister is thinkin about moving up here which would be supa dupa cool. haha. And I guess that's about it. More than likely, I'll come back later and talk some more. Finally got the guts to put my blurty in my profile so I wanted to put somethin in here for the new kids. Gotta go.

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Subject: The New Puppy! and The Concert (Part 2).... Time: 12:19 am. Mood: tired. Music: Fall Out Boy "Calm Before The Storm".

I gotta make this quick because I really don't have the time tonight to do an entry. But I've been wanting to do one since Tuesday. First up, we got a puppie... on Tuesday night. Her name is Baley. She's half husky, half lab, she's 6 weeks old and have purdiest blue eyes I've ever seen. She's such a baby. I'll talk more about that some other time. I'm gonna finish my trip of last weekend.... So Saturday comes and it was decided I was going to go with my moms' friends' kid. He's 12... I think and lives in Virginia. Okay, when I woke up this was the plan. My mom's fiance had to work that day and got off around 1 or 2 (he works in VA still). He was gonna pick the kid up and come up this way and we were gonna go to D.C. from here. Well, after while, we found out that he was going to get off later and the kid had something to do earlier that day and he wasn't finished. So my mom and I had to go down to VA, scoop them up, and head up to D.C. We didn't figure this out until 2:30 which we left at 3:10. We got to Newport News about 5:50 and left there around 6:10. Well, it takes 3 hours to get to D.C. and the concert starts at 8. So we're on our way to D.C. and of course we get stuck in a little traffic, in some rain and sleet, and I lose the directions. I get pissed off because I wanted to see the concert and because it was a radio show and there wasn't a "opening act" on the ticket, I knew for sure I was gonna miss most of it. We finally got to the place around 920ish (after getting directions from the club's website... I got them off my phone), and we could literally hear the concert inside the car.... the concert Simple Plan was playing at that time and point. So I grab the camera, the tickets, and bounce out the car. Of course we get out on the wrong side of the building so I'm running on ice (leaving the kid behind) and get around to the doors. We get in there and Simple Plan is onstage. I push our way up a little bit so we wouldn't be stuck in the crack ass back of the club. After about 3 songs, the kid has to go pee. I wanted to kick him in the shin, but instead, I go with him (it's the right thing to do... even if he's 12). We only fortunately miss one song I didn't even care about that much. So we get back and the concert is awesome. They play my favorite live song (Welcome To My Life) and one of my current favorite songs (One). The concert winds up ending around 11. We get mobbed by hoards of girls trying to get to the merch table to see Pat (my roadie role model). We finally get there and I get a poster and a shirt and get the kid a shirt (that I now think is too small x.x). We go outside and my mom and her fiance are waiting out there for us. We drive back to VA that night (most which I was knocked out) and crash at the kids house (around 330). Get up at 730 and come back home. So in all, it wasn't that bad. I did have fun. Not as much as the first one though. I think it was because the people I was around (in the back) were just standing there. The last one, everyone around me was jumping and you could feel their energy. But hey, maybe next time ^_^ I can't complain. I didn't get to meet them but seeing them onstage was good enough. But I have homework to finish! So I'll probably write in a day or two talking about this weekend... my first party... dun dun dun. lol Catch ya later. - Been thinking about you... -

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Subject: Snow, School, Shows, Sleds, Simple Plan... All Things That Begin With An "S"..... Time: 12:16 am. Mood: dorky. Music: Simple Plan "Jump".

I'm doing a quick entry because I'm so fawkin bored. I can't complain though. I haven't been to skewl since Friday. We had a shitload of snow this weekend and we didn't go to school Monday nor today. Better yet, our mid-term exams were cancelled (because they were supposed to start this week). So we go to school tomorrow and Thursday for full days and then Friday is a half day. ^_^ I kinda don't wanna go back but then again.. who would. Anywho, I've just been doing the usual. I went out today with some friends. We went sledding. It was fun. ^_^ First time I went and due to my lack of winter wear, I was cold and wet (from slipping trying to get back up the slope). I fucked my hand up pretty bad when I went down and scraped it. No biggie though. It was worth it. And Mike was there too. Um... caught up on One Tree Hill. And saw tonight's return from hiatus. Good stuff. Can't wait for Smallville tomorrow. ^_^ Err... let's see.. Really haven't been up to much more. I worked Saturday and Sunday. I work Thursday this week. Can you believe that shit?? They scheduled me the night The O.C. comes on. I can see why though.. since I'm taking this weekend off. But it's the principle. I would so call out but Ashley it's just gonna be me and Ashley at work that nite. *sighs* Moving on..... Simple Plan concert is in what... 4 days? And I'm not even excited. I think it's cause the sheer fact that it hasn't hit me yet. But I will be watching both of their dvd's Friday when I get home from school to get myself pumped. ^_^ I've been considering about actually going to a real college this fall. I wanna go to Penn State. But we'll see. It really comes down to a choice. Do I take some classes at a local community college and pursue my dreams of being an actor or do I take the "academic" road. Yeesh. I don't really care to think about that right now though. Um... Oh!, I think I may start my driving class next week. I was gonna do it last week but my mom wanted it to be this week (when she was off so she could take me) but because of the snow.. it's nasty. So hopefully... I can do it next week and finally be able to drive. That will be awesome and a half. And I think that's really it. Everything else is just normal me stuff. Watchin anime (Gravitation, Tenchi, Spiral and such), video games, and watching tv. OH! I'm starting up my site again. I'm gonna wait to purchase one. Don't feel like it anymore? But I have had a spark of interest again. Hopefully I can keep it. I would use one of my friends domains but I dun have the login and password stuff. No worries though... It's better to start off small right? Welp, I think I'm gonna go now. I've said a bunch of blah who hah. Catch you guys on the flip side. Peaceout! FYI: For those who've read or seen "Alice In Wonderland", during the Hatter's Tea Party, the Hare tells Alice to think about all things that begin with an "M" while moving the table and the Hatter talks says "Mousetraps, Memory, The Moon, Muchness!" And instead of M, I used S for the title. And your probably still saying "And the point is....", well that's gonna be fer another day. Let's just call it an inside joke for right now.

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Subject: So Is It Stephen or Ricky?, Daily Updates and... The Ass... Time: 12:58 am. Mood: cheerful. Music: Linkin Park "Faint".

Alright. Really not much to say this entry. Gotta clarify some things and set the record straight on some situations. First off, there is no new Stephen Young. I was fooled. Don't think there ever will be. I'm not in that mind state nor will I ever. I was maybe 9 or 10? Moving on, nope... its no Stephen. It's a Ricky... in a way. I realize that my guy friends are separated into 2 groups. There is the Matt group. Friends I actually ahve stuff in common with and like being around. ANd the Ricky group. At first, I'm completely intimidated and feel horribly inferior too. Well, this new person, not really a bad friend (nor will we probably ever be friends seein as how I'm trying to stop make "Ricky" friends) but I do feel completely intimidated and inferior to. Anyway, but like I said.... that's another entry which I will probably do soon because this is starting to bother me. Moving on... Tonight's episode of The O.C. kinda has me torn between that and Smallville. But ya know, since they are technically two different genres of shows... they both are my favorite show. ^_^ I know...I'm a dork. But I'm tending to care less and less. Oh! we had school off today cause of the snow. It was awesome. I slept in til 1130, watched an episode of Smallville (cause the next disk was scratched up ;.;), shot some people up in GTA, and mainly chilled. No homework for the first fuckin time ever. ^_^ So I enjoyed today.OH! tell me why, Will talked to Ricky and Ricky said Mae sucks. lol Ya know, I swear, if bands aren't CRYING about "My stomach hurts", "she broke my heart", "I've been done wrong", "wah wah wah... whine whine whine"... then it's not good music. e.e Stupid small shit like that just makes me cringe because hes so fuckin small minded. Ya know, I was feelin bad today because I went by several places that reminded me of some times when he was up here and I somewhat got sad. Pisses me off to an extent that I still let him get to me. I dont care. Haven't talked to him since end of December. And don't plan on it. Well, I think I just had to blow some steam off. I'm straight now. ^_^ Been in a pretty good mood though lately (I'm watching MTV Hits... Gawd, I miss this channel. ;.;). BUT it's getting a wee bit late so I'm off. Bye people! Quote from one of my special friends: "Weeeeeee!" XD

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Subject: Old Memories, My New Best Friend & Some Other Stuff.... Time: 12:05 am. Mood: good. Music: Mae "Goodbye, Goodnight".

Well, seeing how late it is, I should be studying for my AP Government and AP Psychology tests. But I can't really... focus. Therefore, I'm here writing in my journal. Not a lot to really talk about. Just a few things here and there I guess. I wanted to write earlier this weekend but I wasn't up to it. I had depressed flashbacks of elementary school and got depressed. Started thikin about Stephen Young oddly. It's weird because I haven't talked to him since 7th grade. And even then it was... awkward. I dunno, I guess because he was the first person I really looked up to and I never got the chance to really be friends. And its bothering me now. I dunno whether it was the fact that I never took that chance or something else. Anyways, I mean, it was only for a night so it's not like I'm fixed on it but it's amazing the things you remember elementary school. Some things make me happy but others just make me confused and depressed. On a lighter note, I think The O.C. isn't my favorite show anymore. I know. Weird huh? I mean, I still love it but I don't think its my truest favoritest. I think it's Smallville now. And I'll tell you why. I went out on Friday when I went to work and got the first season (the only season I haven't seen) and it's really good. I'm hooked horribly. And I wouldn't have gotten it if it weren't for a friend of mines in school. I guess you could say one of the people I have most in common with in that school. A kid in my class named Matt. He's a senior in my drama class. It's his ultimate favorite show and we talk about it in class and stuff and we were talking about it on Friday, so I got all in the moment and decided to go get it. Guess you could say he's the "best friend that never was". Cause I never really had a friend that wasn't a big deal. Eric and Ricky are were my "best friends" back home I guess you could say but Ricky wasn't a great friend and Eric was too involved with himself. Matts not either and I can tell you he won't be like them two because he won't have a huge paragraph in every entry. :) Anyways, yeah there isn't really a new anyone. Although there is a new Stephen Young... I'll give it a while to talk about that because that's gonna be a entry on its own. Fairly complicated material... stuff I still don't even understand. In all though, everything has been pretty decent. Haven't really been depressed or anything. More reclused probably. I felt good today in Psychology because I studied over the weekend (damn overacheivers are starting to rub off on me) and I was answering questions left and right in class. :) People finally started to acknowledge my existence. heh. Anyways, I'm waiting for the snow. I love snow. It's so peaceful and calming. Everything just kinda goes away. Nosie, stress, problems, and even better school. Supposed to snow tomorrow and throughout the weekend. I'm sure they won't cancel exams this year like they did last year, but I'm just waiting for the 29th. The highlight of my month. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in some early entry but I'm gonna say it again. I'm not goin back to Newport News after I graduate. I realized that there's really not much that will be there come fall. The few friends I have are going off to college. The ones that aren't that are worth going back for (Jessica, Will n Linsey, Billy)... I'm not worried about them. I know they'll always be around no matter what. And technically, there won't be much here either. A lot of my friends up here are goin to college. Which I am too, just a little community college til I decide on what I want to do. Anyways, I think that's it. I gotta go now. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is on. This show is fuckin awesome ^_^ I'm soooo gonna buy it on DVD soon. Later people.

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Subject: New Stuf... SP Pt. 2, Shopping Spree, and The New Kids On The Block... Time: 11:28 pm. Mood: happy.

Well, I'm supposed to be doin this stuff called homework but I think I'll do it later. A bunch of stuff has happened since the last time we talked. Uh, lets seee.... I am going to a Simple Plan concert at the end of this month!!!! I found out Wednesday morning when my mom said she'd take me to school. I was surfin and saw that there was gonna be a concert on the 29th (yes of this month!) in Washington D.C. and tickets were going on pre-sale Thursday (the next day), and friday (2 days ago). Of course I got the bitches on pre-sale. But I had to sign up with this radio station that doesn't even play in my area to get the password. Felt bad because I had my mom trying to buy the tickets the entire morning and forgot to give it to her. I was panicking though at first (up until the day Saturday during the day), because Erin couldn't go (the girl that went with me the last time). She's going out of town. And I didn't really know anyone else I could take. No way I could take Ricky, and Ryan (guy goin with me to see Mae) doesn't really like them (I know!). So I was gonna ask Jessica but I felt bad when she wrote about school and stuff (see the comment for my last entry). Soooo... I was going to sell it, talk to the people at this one SP board, make them feel sorry for me, and invite me with them when I got there (Yeah, I know. Huge dork). But fortunately, I was talkin to my friends at work about it and one of them was like "I wanna go." And I was like "Alright. o.o" and he said "I know some friends who would probably want to go too." So I was like cool. ^_^ So as of now, there's me, him (Jordan), and his friend. I want Ashley to go (this girl that works in my department, we're pretty cool.... have all kinds of stuff in common and such.. and also Jordan's friend), but she doesn't really like Simple Plan. But hell, someone's going so I'm fucking anxious as hell for it to get here. I've already requested off and bought a MoTH shirt (Seb's & Pat's clothing line ^_^). So hopefully, I'll get noticed ^_^ Already charging up my batteries for my camera (all 8) so I'm ready. Moving on... To throw a bunch of other stuff in the mix, I have my mother's shopping demon. It's not as bad as hers but it really can be. After I bought my new shoes and the tickets to the SP concert, I wasn't going to buy anything else. Because I'm trying to save my money for driving school and such. Ok that was Thursday, Friday we went to Best Buy (to get my iPod case so I could take the saran wrap off... Yes I had saran wrap on it to keep it from getting scratched and all), and I wound up getting Spiral, Gravitation, another DVD, and my iPod case... 60 bucks. Saturday, I get picked up from work and hit Barnes and Noble (Mom had to use the bathroom and her fiance had to go to the Sprint store right beside it).. Go in and get the new Getbackers, and 2 magazines.... 20 bucks. Later that nite, I'm surfin round and wind up getting, the last 2 Tenchi Muyo movies and a MoTH shirt. Altogether, 50 bucks. Spent a few bucks today getting candy and toothepaste (it's like my "bill"... something I have to get for the house). About 7-8 bucks. And I'm deciding on which armband I wanna get (which will be 10 bucks), so I can stop wearing my headband as a armband. So yeah, been a bad spender. And when I finally think of one, I'mma buy a web domain. So I can make a site and all. Don't know what I'm gonna do with it yet. Well, the only thing I know I want to do with it is make a Simple Plan tracker (and for all you little boys and girls who don't know what a tracker is... don't worry about it). Other than that.... that's really it. I've been pretty good though. A lot better since last entry. Um, I guess thats it then. Not much else to say. But when there is, you'll be the first to know. (And who knows, maybe you'll be hearing about a few new people... Matt, Adeswa, Steve, Daryl, Adrienne, Angela, and Ben.... and maybe even a new Jessica, Ricky, Will & Linsey, and even most interesting of all.. a Stephen Young. heh heh. I know a few more people then I've been leading on... :-D) Lata minna! (BTW, part of my title came from an episode of a awesome show. ^_^ aannnnd... I changed my icon. It's probably not permenant as I can't make up my mind for what the hell I want. I hadn't noticed but all of my icons in the past year have been Simple Plan. ^_^. Who knows... I might change it to something completely different.. but as for now... SIMPLE PLAN ^_^ Wee!)

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Subject: Not Having A Voice... Time: 12:38 am. Mood: depressed. Music: Jason Mraz "After an Afternoon".

I have a good life. I have friends who care. I have parents who love me. I get good grades. I have a good job. I can't really complain about life. Nor will I. Things could be a lot worse. I completely understand that. I just have this one thing that bothers me. And it's having no voice. Okay, I know I mumble a lot and all. But I think I mumble for a reason. It's probably because no one listens? I'll just post the convo I had with Trevor earlier because I can't really explain it: wrestang (9:45:26 PM): how r ya? SimplePlan11587 (9:45:33 PM): not good wrestang (9:45:51 PM): why not? SimplePlan11587 (9:46:14 PM): i dont exist wrestang (9:46:25 PM): what are you talking bout? SimplePlan11587 (9:46:54 PM): how do people acknowledge you? SimplePlan11587 (9:47:01 PM): not a trick question wrestang (9:47:07 PM): i dunno... wrestang (9:47:12 PM): i mean what do u mean? wrestang (9:47:17 PM): like... wrestang (9:47:28 PM): i don't think i fully understand what u mean SimplePlan11587 (9:48:02 PM): When you call someone's name, don't they turn towards you? wrestang (9:48:14 PM): most of the time... why? SimplePlan11587 (9:48:31 PM): So they acknowledge you when they hear you. SimplePlan11587 (9:49:13 PM): Right? wrestang (9:49:54 PM): i guess... SimplePlan11587 (9:51:16 PM): If you called someones name, anyones name, and they never heard you... SimplePlan11587 (9:51:44 PM): It would be as if you didn't exist. To anyone at all. wrestang (9:51:59 PM): yea if they didn't hear u i guess SimplePlan11587 (9:52:17 PM): exactly wrestang (9:53:09 PM): what's up now? SimplePlan11587 (9:55:40 PM): What I told you. I feel like I either don't exist or when I do, I feel like a kid. People don't hear me. Seriously... people never hear me. I speak louder and unless I keep repeating myself, they dont hear me. And when I do, its pointless because I feel like a fool or get barked at. Whats the point of living if you can't even speak for yourself... if you can't even talk to anyone. wrestang (9:56:28 PM): the only time i don't hear u is when u mumble SimplePlan11587 (9:57:11 PM): well the only time nearly everyone I'm around doesn't hear me is all the time wrestang (9:59:12 PM): ... ur being too hard on urself SimplePlan11587 (10:00:41 PM): trevor, im serious. besides the few people i talk to. people just don't hear me. When they do, it's all screwed. Last nite, perfect example.... mom calls my name.. shes downstairs. I say "what?" in a fairly loud voice. SimplePlan11587 (10:01:18 PM): she doesnt say anything. a few minutes later, her fiance comes to the stairs and calls my name. I say "what" like what do you want now? SimplePlan11587 (10:02:05 PM): then he starts saying how I need to learn how to talk when someone calls me and I when i go to defend myself to clearly say "It was because she already called me once and I said what and she didnt say anything".... SimplePlan11587 (10:03:10 PM): She goes into a fit about "he said that because he thinks someone always wants him to do something. And how I needed to shut up and stop whining or she'd give me a beating". When I was trying to talk, of course... I couldn't SimplePlan11587 (10:03:46 PM): It's always like that with them. They don't listen. And when they do, they don't take me seriously. It's like I'm a joke. So i said fuck it and am just not talking anymore in this stupid house wrestang (10:04:25 PM): ... SimplePlan11587 (10:04:34 PM): and this isn't the first time that's happened with her. She just doesn't listen. And it's "my" fault. something more serious happened because she didn't care to listen SimplePlan11587 (10:04:46 PM): and she wound up crying and blaming herself. but i guess she didn't learn wrestang (10:08:20 PM): man just... i don't even know what to say any more, b/c i don't think ur nothin, ur a cool guy, and i dunno i mean it's hard to say stuff sometimes wrestang (10:10:43 PM): advice doesn't always come to me with ease... and i wish it did, cuz then i'd always know what to say wrestang (10:10:57 PM): i just wish that no you're wrong would suffice at times wrestang (10:11:09 PM): b/c if it did then i'd tell u no you are wrong SimplePlan11587 (10:12:15 PM): i know ud help if u could. reason havent really told anyone. theres nothing that can be done. wrestang (10:12:51 PM): other than the fact that you are obviously wrong b/c i'm talking to you SimplePlan11587 (10:15:57 PM): in a way, ur right, its contradicting. some people do hear me. at least my friends do. but a lot of the ppl up here who are my friends, are only my friends in school. and when u have no one to talk to. when ur home from 330 to 130 and no ones there.... it feels that way wrestang (10:17:58 PM): i know what u mean... i've been like that SimplePlan11587 (10:19:16 PM): i've always been like. the entire 6 years where i started to grow up. and i usually get people who fuck things up and make em worse. I.E. Ricky, Eric, Jessica (used to), my dad, my moms fiance. The "important" people in my life SimplePlan11587 (10:19:24 PM): either best friends or family wrestang (10:20:10 PM): The "important" people in my life wrestang (10:20:12 PM): sooo wrestang (10:20:21 PM): implePlan11587 (10:19:20 PM): either best friends or family wrestang (10:20:25 PM): where do i fall then? wrestang (10:20:32 PM): if i'm none of those SimplePlan11587 (10:20:32 PM): the important people in my life who have screwed things up worse wrestang (10:20:36 PM): i see wrestang (10:20:38 PM): well then wrestang (10:20:42 PM): forget about them wrestang (10:22:24 PM): look forward and not back SimplePlan11587 (10:23:46 PM): they aren't even the big deal. Ricky is basically dropped from my life. He gets under my skin but I've let him fuck things up for me for the last time. Everyone else is dealt with (except the f'in fiance). actually, most of those people actually listened to me. wrestang (10:24:15 PM): yea... wrestang (10:24:17 PM): well wrestang (10:24:21 PM): look at it this way wrestang (10:24:46 PM): if you think that you have nothing then you should have nothing to lose therefore just go out there swingin like it's your last game SimplePlan11587 (10:27:17 PM): to be truthful, right now... i'm tired of swinging. I've been swinging since I've been here. I may haven't tried as hard at times, but it gets restless. If I have to be alone then so be it. Have been before. Just focus on something else wrestang (10:27:54 PM): well just do what u think best It's just hard sometimes. Not really having anyone ya know? I should be trying to fight for my voice ya know? Trying to make myself heard anyway possible. Because without it, I can't stand up for what I believe in or defend things that are close to me. Right now, I can't do it though. I really don't know what else to do. I guess that's why it's so hard for me to make friends. Because I never talk because I feel like I won't be heard. Anyway, I hope that convo explained everything. It's hard to explain. Moving on, today was alright. Except for the fact that one of the people I kinda.... not really admire... but... yeah, well I'm just a answer key to him. And of course I just let him.... you're probably asking why. So he'd want to be friends... knowing more than likely nothing will come of it. Ya know, maybe no one hears me because I act like a kid. How adolescent is that type of thinking. Ya know, thats part of the problem..... I'm finished for tonight. At least Ryan wants to go to the concert. I have a Psych test to study for. I'm out.

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Blurty for Steve. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (The Moblog). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.