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[24 Jan 2012|07:53pm] |
I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable about the situation that took place. My mom just called me from Key West and asked me to come down Thurs-Sun. I told her I couldn't. This is a lie, as I really have nothing going on until my new job starts. But I lied and said I had work. She started crying on the other end of the line.
I'm sitting here thinking about it and it's putting me in a bad mood. I feel guilty but I don't want to feel guilty. I feel like I shouldn't have to feel bad that I don't want to go visit Key West. They're the ones who decided to live there for three months. Why is it my fault that I don't want to just drop my life with a 48 hour notice and go stay there for 5 days? Why should I just have to drop what I'm doing? I already do everything according to them.
I know this is not about Key West. This is about built up frustration I have for feeling like I'm not living my own life. Because I'm still under their wing at my dads company, care-taking for them, paying their bills, etc. I feel like this is the only thing I can control. At least with them not here or not being around them I am breathing a little bit more. I just feel pretty shitty about feeling that way.
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