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[29 Jul 2008|01:23pm] |
There is so much I need to write. I'm ready to come home. I'm ready to pick up my pieces and get things going. I left my life at home a wreck and the longer I stay here the more I'm making a wreck of things here. Don't get me wrong, I've had a blast and I've loved almost every minute of it but... I need to go back to living a normal life. One without alcohol every night, screaming kids at 8am when I'm hungover, and people who find reasons to be mad at me. I need a routine, a healthy one. One that includes working and getting paid, running, taking care of my home and my animals and most importantly myself.
I've been wreckless since I've been here. I've been sad and more than anything I've felt alone. Everyone said that I had it so much easier getting over the relationship because I was away from it. But I think it's reversed. Because Dan has had the opportunity to live his normal life for 4 months without me. He's gotten used to it, I've just run away from it. I'm scared to see how things have changed.
This entry sounds really depressing and I don't want it to seem that way at all. I've gained a lot from being here. I've made such good friends with Misty Becca Tia and Jillian. We've laughed so hard these past few weeks and I've got some good memories to take back with me. I've done a lot as well. I kayaked from sea side to ocean side, I surfed, I snorkled, I played with children, I went skinny dipping with the girls, I gained a new level of tolerance of alcohol, I laughed till I couldn't breathe, I got into a routine of running every afternoon, I attempted relaxing for the first time in awhile. And while everyone will still claim I failed at the 'relaxation' part, I don't really mind because I've learned to accept that part of who I am is high strung. I care too much. this much is obvious.
Anyway I need to wrap this up. I'm going camping up at Tilloo tonight and need to pack up some things. See you Friday!
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