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[05 Apr 2007|09:54am] |
Yesterday was absolutely perfect. I'd been meaning to write in here last night but my wrists hurt so bad from volleyball that I just stuck to scrapbooking after dodgeball and hit the sack.
With the warm weather streak me and the guys have been soooo active. Everyday we've gone outside for a few hours and played some sort of sport whether it be horseshoes, volleyball, or just getting in stupid water fights with each other. They make me feel like home, like I'm just one of them. I've realized something though - it's not hard to just fit in with them and the more I surround myself with them, the more I recognize how much Ashley seperates herself by identifying herself with this girly personality. While it works for her, she's never going to grow close with any of the guys by it.
Pat told me to come over to the Volleyball court at 530 last night. When I got there I was surprised to see Renee. I don't know why, I've just always felt an intimidation from her. Maybe because she's exactly like me? She's so laid back and chill, and shes friends with all the same guys, but for some reason when I'm with Ashley, we just don't talk.
We spent about two and a half hours playing volleyball. me, chris, pat, snellings, hurley, renee and jonboy. It was established that I officially suck, but surprisingly they were all still so willing to have me on their team haaha. I played with Snellings and Hurley. We were pretty much soberly "geeking" the entire time. Nobody stopped laughing throughout the entire game and when I Renee called me Xena Warrior Princess I almost peed my pants from laughing.
We played a game called Tips (why does that sound sexual when typed out?) that I was absolutely horrible at. I could not grasp the concept and wound up doing entirely too many face plants. Needless to say, I wound up humoring everybody.
After we finished we were all in high spirits. We decided to grab Coldstone since we had an hour and a half before dodgeball. On the way back to Marybranch Ashley called. I told her to come over and in all the chaos she wound up getting really mad at me. I could feel her about to yell so I told her I'd call her back when everything got figured out and hung up. Instead, she called me back right after and was like "why did you hang up on me" and got pissed off.
We all went to Coldstone and sat outside on the sidewalk eating. I hadn't had icecream outside of Estes in so long. It was amazing. We had car wars the entire way to and from Coldstone. Jonboy was moooning everyone in Chris's car and we'd have random 10 second races. It was hilarious.
I had them drop me off at my dorm. I realized in the car ride back how sore I was from playing volleyball and tips for 2 1/2 hours. I sat in my room and just scrapbooked and showed up to dodgeball for our game at 9. Well, I was looking for dodgeball to be a relief but when I stepped up to the line and saw myself face 6 buff black guys from the RMC football team I realized we were soon to get our asses kicked.
The game kept going back and forth. we'd score a point, they'd score a point, we'd score a point... etc. In the end of the second half we were up 6-5. I had actually won one of the games being the last person on the court and catching a ball! I also got two guys out :-)
Well when I looked over and saw 2 minutes left, everyone on the court started pounding balls. If time ran out and they had more players on the court then us it would tie the final score and we'd have to go into overtime. It looked like we had it, but with 5 seconds left, Jon boy got out and tied the players on the court, tieing the score, and leading us into overtime.
Needless to say, overtime took forever. There was no time limit and both teams wanted to win so bad. Finally it was down to two vs two. It was me and one of the fill-in guys. I caught a ball, bringing in another guy, but immediatley after got hit out. 2 guys vs. 2 guys. Somehow, we beat them and we all went crazy jumping around screaming. I love how much a stupid game has brought us all together. It makes me so happy.
Now that I've found my nitch, I feel like I actually have something school related to talk to Ashley about. She's always talking about her work or ben or work or ben. and I'm just like... whatever comes to mind. We went to breakfast this morning and I told her how she could come out with us and play because it's alot of fun. Instead of gettng a positive response though, she went into complete bitch mode on me acting like I was immature and everything I said was stupid. She shrugged me off, wouldn't respond when I finished a sentence, and just plain walked away from me. I was surprised that she was acting so mean about something that had taken me forever to find. I wasn't sitting there bragging, I was simply telling her about yesterday. But since it didn't involve her, she didnt care.
When we sat down I told her how I'd finally made friends with Renee after so long. I told Ash how she's really not intimidating and was friendly and we were actually joking around by the end of last night. When I finally stopped talking Ashley kept her mouth shut and just stared at the table as if she hadn't even heard me talking. Finally she spoke up after 5 seconds. "You know, you hated Renee" - "what are you talking about? I never hated Renee, I was intimidated her, but I never even so much disliked her, she's a really nice girl Ash" - but that just pissed her off even more and she picked up her phone to start texting. It was blantantly obvious that she was texting mean shit about me right in front of me but I kept trying to be myself and acting like everything was fine. I did not need a blowup with Ashley all over her being mad that I had made friends with someone.
I knew if I said anything at all it would be mean. I had it on the tip of my tongue. "Listen, I'm sorry that you grew up with cliquey girls who told you you could be friends with people outside or else they'd 'kick you out' but I didn't grow up on the set of Mean Girls and honestly, you have no fucking right to treat me like shit because I met a new friend today" - but I didnt. It would just result in an awfullll fight where I would lay out to Ashley every truth I keep to myself about how mean, shallow, and stand-offish she is. She was acting just like she did the night at Davids when I played ruit with Pat. She accused me of "ditching" her, caused a scene in front of all the guys where I kept trying to apologize, stormed out making me look like an asshole, and then didn't talk to me for a week.
I'm at the point that I wouldn't even care if that happened again. I'm always going to be meeting new people and I can't sit there wondering "is this going to make ashley feel insecure?" because it shouldn't and it's not really fair to me.
blahh. I have to go edit my english paper and pack my bags for NY. Byeeeee loves.
SOOOO excited about this weekend!!! :-)
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