| workaholic. |
[26 Sep 2006|05:27pm] |
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music |
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6th Avenue Heartache | The Walllflowers |
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Monday:
>> Daisy Miller: Part 1
>> Bullet notes for FYC power point presentation
>> Begin reading as much of Return of Guerre as possible
>> Library at 7:15
Tuesday:
>> meet FYC group in class even though no class
>> European Lives rough draft paper on Return of Guerre
>> Pedicure at 3:00 at Diva (find out where it’s located)
Wednesday:
>> Prepare rest of presentation for Thursday
>> Daisy Miller: part 2 – journal response?
I love looking at that list and seeing that I'm getting shit done. I'm so tired. but I'm so determined right now to finish everything that I won't stop. I can't wait for the weekend to be done with this all. Next week should be easier. Atleast thats what i'm telling myself. School makes me tired.
On the plus side, I've finished my 120 pages of reading. All I have to do now is write my paper with Courtney said isn't too hard ot write - and hey? maybe if I finish I can even head back over to Marybranch to meet up with Patty Molly Hyatt Chris and all them. I wonder how Travis is doing. Dumb shit. I feel bad about his tv - but he needs to control himself. and the fact that he hit me made me lose so much more fucking respect for him than I had already lost.
I'm going to go do more work, eat some taco bell, and maybe take a nap - byeee loves ♥
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| I can't wait for Thursday when everythings DONE. |
[26 Sep 2006|07:58pm] |
1 page down. 2.5 to go. I'm gonna get this doneee and then watch What Dreams May Come and smoke the hookah with Jeika because I need something in my lungsss. I keep getting that urge to smoke something - it'll satisfy me. And I don't like last night that Patty kept trying to get me to smoke cigarettes all night. "everybody smokes your going to start eventually whether you want to or not" - I pushed the pack back towards him and told him he was wrong. That's one thing I will never ever do. I promised my parents. I'll never let myself get stuck on that.
I saw this in Blurty Unsent Letters - made me think about my words.
( Read more... )
I'm so tireddd ahhh. and I have an 8am class with another exegetical worksheet I have to do :-(
Goodnighttt loves. ♥
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| cross country. and the art of sucking it up and fucking running. |
[26 Sep 2006|09:37pm] |
It's so weird that I dont notice how much I care about people until after I've dropped everything I'm doing and catered to them. and yes, I said the word catered because who I'm referring to in this entry is Jas. I miss him - alot. It's hard enough with McCoach gone now, knowing he'll never really be there again, but Jas now with being away at college sort of leaves an impact as well. I want him to be happy and I want so much for the team to build back up a decent reputation because after 2005, we lost it.
TR: thats why u respected coach
TR: he was first and foreemost your coach and you respected him,
TR: but they will get there
TR: dont get too down on yourself, you know your shit, you do your coachin hw
TR they will get it someday
yea i just dont know anymore...
---This killed me. I'm not even on the team anymore and I swear to God, I felt ashamed. Because at this point, when it comes down to it, Jas deserves so much fucking respect I can't put it into words. And I'll admit it was a growing thing, because when he started out, I didn't respect him. He was a step below McCoach. and if McCoach wasn't at practice, Jas didn't really have a say.
And then Coach retired. and it was like - I looked up to Jas, but as a friend, as someone I related to. Because he was so young and so close in age, I could just be honest and stupid and he wouldn't care. I could talk to him on the phone like a regular human being and over the past year we built up a great friendship. and that's something not many people can claim to have with a coach - a friendship. and furthermore, a comfortable one, to the extent we could call each other crying with problems.
Amd then Coach passed away. and it's only been a few months. or a month. I don't even know - it's just too much to think about sometimes - so I don't. I've got my pictures and my memories. He'll always be in my heart. and then all of the sudden I was left with Jason. And while Jason will never replace Coach, he's the one to fill in his shoes. They're some pretty heft shoes to fill, because as I've written so many times before, Coach was pretty damn amazing. But Jas is at a point where I think he's ready for the responsibility of being a coach. And now that it's finally the time he should be getting that respect - he's not.
I'm almost pissed off. In fact, on some levels, I am pissed off. I want to talk to the girls. gather them up and ask them what the hell they're thinking. The senior should know especially, they were there when McCoach coached. They know to grow up and act a little bit more damned mature.
jas: coachin a lil rough right now
LilRoxybabe8188: respect problems?
jas: pretty much, ive gone over and over and voer with it
jas: and its not workin
and now I IMed Kelly.
Auto Response from kelfitz: college shit...dont bother me i want to get it all done.
LilRoxybabe8188: i will bother you - whats going on with the team?
kelfitz: haha im mostly done and im not doing anymore tonight but basically the problem is that they dont listen at all and jasons really getting down on himself like its his fault that they dont listen and they are really pretty rude to him and kyle and they're just getting frustrated. oh and like, they never get ready for races like, they always say that they cant do it blah blah blah and jasons really like, upset about it
kelfitz112: suck it up. dont come out if your expecting to lay on the ground and do nothing this is fucking cross country...you run. if you dont want to run etc dont come out its that simple
LilRoxybabe8188: that sucks
LilRoxybabe8188: I saw his away message and was so fucking pissed off
LilRoxybabe8188: bc I feel like the team should know by now to grow up, especially after mccoach passed away bc even though theyre new to the team, they should knwo that jas is trying to fill some pretty big shoes
kelfitz112: i know im really frustrated too i have to have a team meeting with every thursday and itll be me nettie and caitlin and basically we have to get them to shape up
kelfitz112: i know i get so frustrated like, i cant handle it please come home
LilRoxybabe8188: I wish I was part of the team so I could like yell at everyone right now
kelfitz112: i wish you were a part of the team too so that maybe...just maybe they would actually listen to someone
God, I miss it so much right now. and maybe when Ben and I were talking about passions I was wrong - maybe running really is my passion... it's the only thing I put my entire self into. I miss it sooo god damn much. I want to finish my paper and go running. and as much as I talk, I know I won't. but it's nice to pretend.
I'm gonna go listen to matt nathanson and finish my paper.
later loves. ♥
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