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music |
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Into the Sun | Lifehouse |
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and now we're running (into the sun)
getting close to something (into the sun)
you know that we're falling, we're falling back
So tonight was a little spontaneous. In all honesty I wasn't planning on going to the show bc of XC and the fact I'm leaving for JMU tomorrow but I knew that I wanted to and I'm tired of following my schedule already, I just wanted to get out for a bit. Finding Paws in the campus was crazy as shit. Ashly had no idea how her and Tim got there so I called Dan. I had to parallel park which was scary as shit. When I got there I just stood there for 10 minutes looking around. My phone wouldnt ring when I called Dan so I didn't know where to go. I just saw on a bench and watched the soccer game. I tried calling Dan and when I stood up I realized he was standing 5 ft away from me.
Walked in with him, talked a little, I think he figured I was going to sit with him but I walked over and plopped a seat next to Ashly and Tim. It was fun being with them, I don't really feel like the odd one out. Talked with Ash and laughed alot in between ATL songs. The fans didnt seem to be enjoying ATL as much but oh well.
After the show we went up by the stage. Dan was being weird, it's always ackward when we're around people. Unless we planned to hang out in advance, we don't know what to do when we see one another. He kept coming up and walking away trying to start conversations... it didn't feel right, I don't usually have to try when it comes to talking to him but tonight I felt like I did.
Ashly and Tim left a little bit after ATL. I stayed and talked to Dan a bit. Sitting between Merrick and Dan... it was weird. Merrick pulled me outside. I came back inside 2 minutes later but Dan was gone. For some reason really scared me and I kept looking around everywhere for him. I felt bad too, I just felt out of place so I told Merrick I was supposed to be home now (which I really was) and headed out.
As I came outside I saw Dan. "Where the heck did you go?" He just lifted up a bag of m&m's "I got hungry" he said laughing. Swear to God, he can make me laugh at the stupidest stuff. We went outside bc I didnt want to be there anymore, and I kind of told eveyrone else I was leaving. We hung outside for 15 minutes talking until Ben came back. We went back inside and sat around till mod and pod called bitching at me for being 45 minutes late for curfew.
Now I'm home, and I've done nothing since I've been here bc theres nothing I need to do. I want to talk to Dan, but he's out right now. It's comfortable though, I know he's not out doing something retarded... not that I ever fear that, he's become so laid back in the past 2 months its weird... not laid back, but, faded away from everything: drugs, parties, drinking...
The other night at the dinner table Mod told me she heard knews Dan was a pothead. I raised hell like you can't even imagine. I dont know why I got so angry and defensive but I did.
Anyway, I dont know why I'm typing anymore.
I wish I could just be chill with being Dan's friend.
I'm so lucky to be where I am, but, yeah ok.
Just goodbye, cya when I return, later loves. ♥
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