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music |
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Paper Rock Scissors | Jamison Parker |
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I'm listening to Jamison Parker. I think atleast 50% of my checks has to go to cd's, it's unbelievable. So yeah, congrats to Bryce for converting me. It's funny, because back when we first met he'd send me music links all the time and I'd be like ok don't care, not clicking them... now if he's ranting about how good a band is I'll actually take the time to listen. I guess after 13 months of being with someone you're taste in music has to become somewhat similar right?
Anyway, today was really laid back. Chrissy and I just hung out by the pool, goofed off and acted like our weird selves: "hey there buddy, how ya doing fella?" hahaha. Danny came over and the three of us went to Strapasta, then back to my house. Bobby came over and the four of us just hung out by the pool talking. And then Bobby turned to me "So Sam, I hear someone has a crush on someone from work"...and Chrissy just looked at me wonderng how I was going to respond. "Yeah, glad to know the entire snackbar knows" I said and just laughed. I thuoght I'd care, but I don't. If Bobby wants to make fun of me or be an ass about he can, I don't think he care what he says anymore. But he didnt, for the first time he didnt give me shit. Atleast not yet, I'm sure he'll do something though, he'll pull shit that nobody else notices, not even Chrissy... bc he's like that... and yet still my best friend. hahah our friendship is so rediculously messed up... I love it. I love him... I hope he doesnt die in college bc thats something I can see happening... there's not going to be anyone pulling his feet down this year... no Chrissy to go help figure out what to do when he's doing cocaine... I've got to look out for him myself.
Danny always says things about Bobby, things I already know but can't put into words: "I wish I could see what Bobby's real laugh sounds like" "You know, a year ago, he'd love to go cliff jumping, now? never... he's just changed"
Sometimes it really kills me, to watch Bobby be the person he is now... so unhappy and fake. I get when he's feeling insecure, which is almost all the time. I wondered what he would do if everyone just left him. I always told myself that's why I still hung around, because I needed to be there when he lost everyone else... but somehow, in the midst of outer-jerk he's become, he just draws in more friends. I hate when people talk about how cool Bobby is... I almost want to strangle them. So many times I've wanted to scream why at people. It's the idea of popularity that destroyed Bobby. Sometimes I wish he would go back to being a nerd and having his only friend Matt Stetka and Sean... I don't even remember Seans last name.
It's funny, because sometime I wonder if I even really know Bobby... I mean, I know I do, better than anybody else thinks he does, even the truth that he hides from me, about all the times he's secretly screwed over his guy friends and hooked up with their girlfriends, I still know him. But, it gets to the point that he becomes so distant from who he used to be I can't help but wonder. I can't help not love him like family, but there are so many times when I just wish he could drop the act, for two seconds, and go back to Bobby.
-edit-
I'm gonna go clean out my car. I keep forgetting I've got cross country practice at 6:30. I'm really excited. NCR trail for a long run... sweeeeet! (no, I'm not being sarcastic, I'm really excited).
Sooo peace out homies.
Snackfun tonight, later loves. ♥
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