-*LiL OnE*-'s journal

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Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
9:40 pm - life sux
yeah so 2day i hadta get up & go 2 summa school! it wasnt bad but like 1/2 the ppl in there are frum North! and the teacher is kinda lame! but whatever...shes cool...she dont make us do no hard shit so its straight.

x-tina is in there wit me so its all good..annnd we get 2 sit by eachotha!! anywayz so afta school me & x-tina went mcdonalds & got sum food. yum yum! it was good! then i came home & tried 2 call jenny..but her mom made her run sum errands and shit...so we didnt chill & plus it was frezzzing out side so we couldnt swim! which sux! it was supposed 2 be like 74 er sumthin...but it was like 50!! burr!!

so i slept which was nice! annd jamie called me...annd i love her soooo much!! ok theres this song & i love with a passion that reminded me of "u kno who" annd i didnt kno the name of it or who sang it!! but she found it out for me!! omg...i seriously was soooo happy!! u dont even know!

jamie-i love you bou...neva 4get it!

well ima go ill write later!! xoxo

*with more love than you'll ever kno*

current mood: cheerful
current music: Twisted Over You | Keith Sweat

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Tuesday, June 10th, 2003
9:10 pm - do u kno da way?
howdy ya'll! lol whats up? nothing here at all! omg 2day was funfun!! lots and lots of it!!

well at first there was NOTHING goin on! it was sooo lame!

then i called jenny and she came ova & swam..then we came in & talked 2 julian on the fone 4 like ever!! then we went & got ice cream..it was funni...cuz jen finally got sum good ice cream FOR ONCE..annd she was tryin 2 eat it while she was driving...she almost killed us! so we kept praying for a red light but there was only like one! it was soo fun!

well 2 morrow is the first day of gay summa school! ugh...i despise it! oh well tho cuz x-tina guna be there so its all goooood!!

we get out at 12 so then ima come home & call jenny and then she guna come ova & we guna swim and shit & hopefully julian is guna get 2 come & chill too!!! thats all i kno thats goin on!

but ill write latr! too many ppl tryin 2 talk 2 mee!!

<33 kelly

current mood: excited
current music: Soo into you | Fabolous ft. Ashanti

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Sunday, June 8th, 2003
3:14 pm - better dayz -> promise 2 hold on..
sorry i havent written in 4ever. there's been alotta shit goin on lately! well we've had our finals! annd i did really good on my history one! so im excited about that!

well the last day i wrote brandon came ova and we didnt do shit but watch TV but he appologized 2 me fer actin' like a dick on tues. so that was all good. He called me yesterday sayin he was guna stop by...but yeah he was nowhere 2 be found...so ima lil pissed! cuz he is leavin' fer the whole summer on tues. 2 stay wit his moms in tennese. so i kinda wana spend one day with him b4 he leaves. but whateva thats all on him.

i got in a lil fite with mario one day...i guess he is only guna be here for like a week in july. whatever.

yeah so graduation was friday...sad sad timez! i went 2 the mall on friday with bridgette annnd omg it was sooo funni! cuz we was lookin at cuuuute undiez...and she goes 2 put one back and the whole rack fell down!! omg..it was HILARIOUS!! i couldnt believe it...

yeah so i been thinkin...like boutz *u kno who*.... i wana get everything straight b4 we leave fer summer....just so we can part on a good note. wit no bad blood. i really still love him....but mayb its time 2 let go..

im out

current mood: awake
current music: In thos Jeans | Genuiwine

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Sunday, June 1st, 2003
3:39 pm - yEah I represent the RiGht SiDe of 120...
hey yall hows it going? wow..my computer is actually working kinda good 2day so im writing in here!!! im sooo tired!! ZzZz...Tiiiiiiiiired! anywayz! i just got off the fone with randal...we talked for like an hour & 1/2..lol..he's krazi! he called me last nite at like 11 tellin me 2 come over...im like um i gota be home @ 1130! hes stupid! but i <33 him....he mah boi~!

sooo nothing has been goin on lately....while my parents were outa town..nothin realy went down! cept i had brandon here on tues....annnd all we did was fite the whole time. ooh well what can ya do?

soo my parents came back annd they had a good time in Vegas! so im glad!!

i havent talked 2 mario in over a week...mayb ill call him 2day....who knows?
i miss him....annd i love him!

soo yeah well ima go cuz brandon just calle and said hes comin over...soo im out!

<33 kelly

current mood: sick
current music: i aint never scared | bone crusher

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Wednesday, May 28th, 2003
6:41 pm - all alone~
sorry i havent written in 4ever, i havent been on at all lately.

nothing new really....my parents come back 2morrow & i didnt do like anything while they were gone...it was kinda lame! but oooh well!

sorry theres nothing 2 say so im out...later


current mood: lonely
current music: baby i promise | jagged edge

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Sunday, May 25th, 2003
11:10 am - all my life, i prayed for someone like u
hey whats up? noting here...bored as hell!! my parents leave 2morrow! hoooray!! soo im still havin' movie nite @ my crib 2morrow...if everyone can still come. i duno?

all i can think about is mario..
he's always on my mind. i know i love him, and i know its real. but im scared.. i'll never feel this way about anyone else, but i cant get my heart broken again. ive only loved 2 boys in my life. and the one broke my heart so many times that im scared to love mario. but i love him so much that it hurts. i just want to be with him..and its killing me that i cant be.

i love him

*straight from my heart*
-kelly catherine

current mood: full
current music: if i were the one | ruff endz

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Saturday, May 24th, 2003
11:49 pm - your the only one i want in my life
im in love <33...

god i love mario so much. i need him. i talked 2 him again 2day, i cant go on without him anymore.
he said it again: "kelly, i love you". you dont even know how great it makes me feel to hear that. he said that the song "baby i promise" reminds him of me. so now im sitting here listening to it over & over again. he played it for me over the fone, and i cried. it's so hard, and it makes me so emotional. he's all that i need, all that i want. he makes me feel like i cant breathe, that's how deep this is. i've never felt like this before. im not letting this go.

*soo in love*
-kelly catherine

current mood: thankful
current music: baby i promise | jagged edge

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12:13 pm - so deep in love..
whats up everyone?? well things have been WAY better for me lately!

my parents go outta town on monday and they wont be back til thursday! so on monday im havin movie nite @ my house wit jamie, jason, kim, pat, delvin, jonathon, kenny,anthony, annd who ever else~ it should be fun!

yesterday was a bad day for me, well it started as a bad day! i got my heart broken again by darryl...go figure...and i cried my eyes out in school cuz of it. he's wit like 3 otha girlz...i dont understand what goes thru his mind...and im just guna try not 2 care anymore..
samantha- thank u so much for being there for me wit the whole thing...uve always been there 2 dry my tears cuz of him...annd i can never repay you for it...it means alot 2 me. i love yah!!

then after school me, jamie, kim, and tristen went 2 he track meet @ hillcrest! it made my day alil better. i had an okay time!!

congats on goin 2 state-> pierre, jason, pat, eric, & christian!! good luck!

its funni how u can have the worst day...and then one lil thing can make it the best day ever-
thats what happened yesterday...cuz mario<33 called me

annnd he said it...he said "i love you"....i swear i almost cried...i love him soo much...i miss him. i cant wait to see him.

ooh do u even kno how good it feels to hear that sum1 loves you annd u kno its tru...annd u love them too!

well im guna go now!! mayb ill write later~~

current mood: loved
current music: I will always love you | Whitney Houston

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Sunday, May 18th, 2003
9:55 am - NeVeR
lol ima quitter! i never write in here anymore!!! oh well, im guna try to more often it just gets hard!

hMm so nothin too exciting has been goin on!

i realized that a couple ppl are sum fuckin bitches! aint it funni how u think u can trust sum1 but then they go & talk mad shit behind ur back? but they supposed 2 be ur gurl? so whatever...i realized i only trust one person with my shit and thats Jamie!

*jamie-girl i love u so damn much & thank u fer everything! i duno what i would do without u in my life!! good luck with Jason hunnie...u 2 are wayyyy cuuuute!!

yea anywayz-> I FINALLY TALKED 2 MARIO LAST NITE! wow...it was great, i really miss him so much! we talked alot....about alot of things! i guess he mite be comin out here for a month in the summer and stay wit his uncle in south holland! i REALLY hope he does! he wanted me 2 write him an email so i did!~ but i duno...he told me 2 call him 2day at like 4ish....of course im going to but i dont think he'll be home b/c he was stayin at his frenz or sumthin?? god i truely love this boi annd he loves me too...annd its killin' me that i cant be with him.

so i dont think ima do anything with anyother guys! it mite sound krazi 2 all of u but u just duno.

well ima go clean my room cuz its messy & i cant stand it! mayb ill write later!!

iN LoVe

current mood: loved
current music: i could fall in love | Selena

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Sunday, May 11th, 2003
10:39 pm - happi momma'z day
hey..well 2day was lame!!

i did NOOTHING cuz i had 2 hang out with my family!! but j stoped by & showed me the pics frum prom~ hey was OOOKAY...cept for the ones where she looks like shes guna kill herself!! haha!

sorry the one pic didnt turn out!! =(

anywayz!! last nite i went 2 em's!! it was alriiight!! i seen eric awe...he is soo cuuuute!

then randal picked me up...we just chilled! lol well that not all we did...but u dont wana kno the horny details!! haha just kiddin!

well ima go talk 2 matt~ see u later


current mood: happy
current music: dreaming of u | selena

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Saturday, May 10th, 2003
11:47 am - OoOh baby u got what i need
whats up ya'll!! i duno why im writing! im just in a good mood which is surprising!!! haha! anywayz...umm 2day...i duno wat im doin! prob. cleaning!! since jamie is leavin me all weekend for prom and the goin 2 6flags!! but thats alrite! have a good time giiirl!! haha!!


uMm...i am kinda hopin mayb ill get 2 do sumthin with randal! but thats only if he calls cuz i feel dumb callin there!!

^ i mean i like randal alil...i alwayz thought he looked good!! me & him have been tite since 4ever!!! i love him 2 death...!!!

buut umm im guna go clean my room & take a shower!! byyye xoxo

*seNdiN my LoVe

current mood: flirty
current music: just a friend | mario

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12:36 am - soo emotional...
hey guys...well i tried 2 go 2 bed...but i jus couldnt fall asleep...i keep on thinkin bout things. and i realized tht im very unhappy with the way my life is. well not EVERYTHING...but SOME things. like i seriously have not tried @ all in school..and i regret it sooo damn much! like...i look @ all these ppl...and i see they are athletes or like really smart...and will most likely get scholarships...so i duno what my plans are...im barely makin it thru..cuz i am just too damn lazy, and i always say ill try but i dont. uugghh i duno what to do!! it is kinda late to start tryin but im guna!! this time im 4 real!

thats the MAIN thing that bothers me....also i am kinda feelin bummed out...like i wish i had a b/f soo bad sumtimes...but once i get one...i cant deal wit it and just end it rite away!? like what is my deal? i wish mario was here....i <33 him so much...and i miss him like krazi. i kno if he was out here still me & him coulda made it work...i just kno it.

but sorry im complaining! lemme tell u what happened 2day!

we had a 1/2 day cuz of prom...i didnt end up doing anything with brandon...i honestly dont think me & him will even talk that much anymore...since we moved seats in english & he sits way far away now! =( o well i guess

so after school i went with xtina to drop off her bro...then we came 2 my house 2 see if i could get any $...when i got home my momz said rAnDaL called! so i called him back...and he was like well just call me when u get home and u can come by here!! cuz i had 2 go with xtina to get her nails done! so on the way back i called him & just told him i was guna go home instead & he was like well just call me when u get there & me & my boys will come over there!!but i didnt call cuz i chickened out!! annnnd plus..i cant like do that 2 brandon..when we made an agreement.....even tho i really wanted 2!!!

yeaah i called mario..he was sleeeping!! =( i was sad...but ill try again 2morrow!!

well thats all for now

*with love

current mood: worried
current music: i know i can | nas

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Thursday, May 8th, 2003
4:18 pm - .........
hey evryone..whats up?? well i tried 2 write in here like yesterday i think it was...but my computer is a fuckin piece of shit & kicked me off in the middle!!

anywayz- brandon told me that jessica asked him 2 go with her 2 six flags on saturday....but he said no!! sooo hahaha BITCH!

umm theres nothn really goin on!! my girl sarah got dumped by her b/f.....he's an asshole girl...dun worry about it!!! ill beat his ass!!!

uM..last nite...i went 2 j's 4 alil....then i came home & brandon called so i talked 2 him for alil....he was bein sooo goofy!~ it was funni

yeeeah..i didnt fite wit no1 2day!! i was surprised!! but excited!!

1/2 day 2morrow!! woo-woo! but i dont think im doin anythin wit brandon no more...cuz my mom is guna be home...soooo that aint guna work!!

but im out for now!!

*sendin my love

emily- i am NOT brandon's boo!!! i dont kno why Rashawn said that!!! lol it wasnt THAT funni!!

current mood: tired
current music: whos ur daddy | toby keith

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Tuesday, May 6th, 2003
4:48 pm - *betta dayz
ugghh...girlz fuckin suck!! they are all drama!!! mmmk...there's this girl, jessica & she be likin brandon....ok whatever...i dont give a shit bout that..cuz i KNO he dont like her~ but ok...her & jamie got into it in the hall yesterday fer sum gay reason! annd i didnt say ONE DAMN WORD 2 this girl...but like 2min. later she comes walkin past wit 1 of her girlz sayin "yeahh thats why ima go see BRANDON, blah blah blah" & all this shit! i was like ooook how u guna try & come at me like that!!?? i held my tongue tho & didnt say shit...but when brandon called me last nite i told him bout it & i was like next time ima say sumhin 2 her so u better tell her 2 shut her mouth! O0o0ooohh i was sooo pisssed!!!

anywayz- im basicaly ova it tho cuz she didnt say nothin else 2 me...so yeah! shes a bitch tho!

i gues we gota 1/2 day friday?? i didnt kno that..brandon told me on the fone last nite~ i was like no we dont! but we do cuz of prom~~ ooh well

i guess im doin sumthin wit brandon on friday~ umM...but i duno for sure...cuz we got nowhere 2 go~ so prob. not!!

omg...i wore my white capri's 2day and myfriend drew stuff on my folder along time ago wit permanant marker..and it leeked onto my pants!! i was PISSSED!!!!

well thats all fer now!

sTrAiGhT fRuM mY <33


current mood: cheerful
current music: come alil bit closer | brandy

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Sunday, May 4th, 2003
11:20 am - ZzZ iM TiReD aS HeLL
whats up ya'll?? nothin here! it SuNdAy!! annd im bored lolz...waitin 4 j to get on or call meeh!! shes lazee and is probably still sleeping!! hMm...mayb me & her will go 2 McDonalds for a Premium salad...haha annd 2 see a certan sexii sum1~ but who knowz?? she never wants 2 goo! *meAnY pAnTz*!!!

yeaah so im in a betta mood 2day!! woo-woo! arent ya excited! i was soooo pissed yesterday! and i was bein da biggest bitch!!!

but ima go call J and wake her ass up!!


current mood: content
current music: baby | ashanti

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Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
11:13 pm - sHh bE qUieT
whats up? 2day was ok...at first i was bored as hell...there was ALIL drama...but nuthin too bad!! i chilled with jamie...we went got gas...went 2 mcdonalds for a pop...uMm went 2 mejiers and just fucked around! took sum goofy pics! then we went 2 wendy's & got food!!! it was fun!! but we didnt do anything really!

uMm,..nothin new with my situation...mario is in chicago..wel i duno if he is in chicago...err if he is out in the BuRbS?? but i duno! it aggrivates me!

hm...umm lol not 2 much 2 say...im runnin' short on wordz~

soo im off like a prom dress

muCh loVe

current mood: silly
current music: love u down | onoj

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9:45 am - hMm...
whats up? nothin herre~ jus woke up....but it aint too early so thats good.!!

still duno whats goin on fer 2day!! maybb ill go shoppin?

but ima call jenny after her game...see what she's doin..mayb me, her & oli can all go find sumthin 2 do.

anywhoozle-> my guy situation...i duno...like i said yesterday...this is what im confused about! cuz i want soo many things...but i cant have all of them. i really need 2 decide what i want. it's hard tho..i just dont know what do to...let's see what things im thinking about each boy-
well first there is *u kno who*-annd...i duno here really....of course i will ALWAYS love him, and there is NOONE that will ever love him more than me...but i could never tell him that..annd cuz im always waitin' 4 him...thinkin' sumday he'll figure out that we should be 2gether...like we've been off and on for like 4 years...so i dont want to keep myself in that position!!
then there is Mario<33- i've always liked mario alot...but i was too whooped up on *u kno who* to really try and be with him. so then he moved away..and i miss him like krazi! i <33 him so much...but i cant b with him tho..cuz he lives in Florida!...but he was all like "well ill be out there sumtimes"...oook well i cant see what u do in florida...and i wont be able 2 do that...no matter how much i care about him...i wont.
then there is brandon-this is a joke....seriously...it's just sumthin soo stupid..but hes a part of whats goin on...cuz i dont kno what to do about him eitha...ive tried 2 break it off with him... but he gets mad and sumhow we always end up in the same situation...i duno
~yeah so thats my confusing ass shit with guys!!they suck...i wish i could just be like fuck it, but i cant....like a part of me wants to be with sum1...and the guy could be with is Mario...but i cant be with him when he aint here...
and with *u kno who*...its like he dont want me, but he dont want anyone else 2 have me eitha...and he gets jealous!!

well imma stop complaining!! i just neeed 2 write out my fustrations...!! eeek!

but ima go take a shower!!

BaLLiN oUt

current mood: depressed
current music: cant let u go | Fabolous

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Friday, May 2nd, 2003
10:57 pm - *fuck them hata'z
there's sooO0o much damn drama involved with these bitches @ South fo real! they all run they mouths when they dont kno the stories~!! soo watch ya back cuz i dun let ppl talk bout me like they kno me!

well besides that...2 day was a pretty good day! i called mario again..but he is outta town? so i wonda if he is back out here? i HOPE he calls me sooo much...cuz i miss him like crazy!! and i love him with all mah heart! <33

ive come to the conclusion that im the one makin my life miserable, b/c im soo confused!! i dont kno what i want...and it drives me krazi...and i guess i try to do all these things that i think i want...but none of it is!!

2morrow...i duno what im doin!! mayb sumthin wit jenny i gotta call her & see whats up!!

i just wanted2 say good luck 2 my girl Oli on her lifeguard test!!! <33 yah!

well im off


current mood: confused
current music: Dreaming of you | Selena

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Wednesday, April 30th, 2003
8:29 pm - oOoH u sMeLL LiKe MaCaRoNi..
whaaats up? nothin here...juss got back frum chillin wit JeNny! i went wit her tanning and then jus drivin' round....NOWHERE SPECIFIC tho!! haha! i love ya krazi ass girl!! anywayz! besides that..umm i had school 2day..which was lame as always! then after school jamie came ova fer alil..we went & got gas..and then i came home & went wit jenny!

2morrow...i got school...and then Im rushin home 2 call mario!! cuz i everytime i try 2 call him im not able too! but 2morrow fo sho!! i miss him sooo much...ya'll dun even kno!

only like 26 days til my parents go outta town! lol im all counting down like a psycho! but im excited!!

but ima gO! cuz im waiting for jenny 2 get on!!

*BaLLiN ouT*

Jenny- eeeew...they smell like macaroni!!! haha...tell him thats why u hate him!! lol much love giirl!

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Monday, April 28th, 2003
7:28 pm - *nEw JoUrNaL
dis my 1st entry on dis bLuRtY shiz....i was on ujournal but seem like e'ryone on dis new shiz! so i switched it up! anywayz~>

2day we went back 2 school from spring breakz! i <33d spring break dis year!! fer once! i had a great time!!

school wasnt too bad 2day surprisingly! i hate school wit a passion!! i ate lunch with marykate...she bought 4 me!it was TaCo SaLaD!! i miss chillin wit her!! she's mah gurl...we used 2 be 2getha ALL the time last year...we had e'ry class 2gether!!! *MaRyKaTe- u mah gurl...even tho u be trippin ova sum kraziness!!

i brought brandon's brush to school since he left it @ my crib when he was ova Thursday nite~~ nothin too new with mine & his situation!!! it's kinda lame..i duno how long its guna be goin on!!

well i kno dis isnt too long...but im runnin' short on wordz~ so peace

*BaLLiN oUt
-lil mama

current mood: blank
current music: 21 questionz | 50cent

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