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Below are 25 recent journal entries, after skipping 25

	2003.08.15  15.38 well I didn't go to the doctor, but I stayed home from work yesterday and I felt fine. So I'm assuming that my tummy problems were stress related. Long road trip, no sleep, annoying job, etc. That'll do it. Although today my throat hurts. So who knows. Perhaps I have the flesh eating virus and don't know it. Wouldn't that be my luck?? So I decided if I'm going to die I'm going to do it with dignity, and with a Twizzler in my mouth. Hey, there are worse things that could be in my mouth. ;o) Uh.... yeah... so anyway.... Nice weather we are having..... Mood: weird

	2003.08.13  12.45 blah blah blah blah......... why am I so unmotivated??? My job is giving me an ulcer. I should really go to the doctor. I just got a lecture from the lady in Fiscal Services about how I should get checked out because I haven't felt good in a really long time. I hate going to the doctor. But I suppose I should. I'm sure it's stress related. But it would be nice to feel like a normal person again. Not that I want to eat as much as I used to. I'm kind of glad I haven't been able to eat much. But I certainly don't want to feel nauseous all the live long day. Ok, I will call the doctor. Blah. In the meantime, here is something pretty to look at.... Mood: nauseated

	2003.08.12  13.37 I'm back. I am back from North Carolina. I had a good time for the most part. The convention was awesome. The long ass ride down to Greensboro from Boston was not exactly my cup of tea. And the food at Waffle House sucks like nothing on this planet. I won't be eating there again, I can tell you that. Call me crazy but I like my food COOKED. I felt really crappy anyway because of being cooped up in a car for all eternity. Next year I fly. And I'm getting my own room. I love Kat and Patrick but if I have to share a room with them again they are going to have to die. Patrick snores like nothing I have ever heard before. I wanted to smother him with a pillow. And him and Kat were arguing all week long. So the tension in the room wasn't good for sleeping. So I got no sleep, which added to my feeling like crap. I finally did sleep on the last night because I prayed so hard and begged God to make me deaf for the night. And it worked. I still feel kind of depressed, but I think it's just because I'm way over tired and stressed out. I'll be fine I'm sure. We have a new member of the Market America distributor world, perhaps you have heard of him. JaRule. Yup, hip hop star JaRule is now a Market America distributor. Rock on. He was at the convention and he even gave us a free mini concert. Sadly alot of people there didn't know who he was as they are mostly middle aged and have very little interest in hip hop. But for those of us younger folks that have heard of JaRule, it was quite a treat. I like some hip hop, I admit it. And JaRule is one of the artists that I like. I like him because he is not too raunchy and not violent, and he's fun to dance to. And he is an all around nice guy. It was funny watching the president of Market America (JR Ridinger) trying to dance while Ja was performing. Talk about the White Boy Shuffle!! LOL!! JR you are a wonderful man, but please take a dance lesson. ;o) Anyway, being at the convention made me even more proud to be a part of this company. It's all about helping people and changing lives. I was moved to tears a few times, just hearing the peoples success stories. People who came from nothing, who are now earning tons of money. And people who had illness who are now living healthy lives thanks to our products. It has really made such a huge difference in so many lives. And I know it will make a difference in mine. And I know I can help make a difference to others. And I can't wait until someone says yes to this opportunity and allows me to help them become rich and free and healthy. By the way, we just started an auction website. It's going to put ebay to shame. Half the fees, twice the ease. It only costs about .16 cents - .25 cents to list an item. And there are NO FINAL VALUE FEES! Unlike ebay which takes a percentage of the final sale. Anyway, it just came online yesterday, but check it out. There are already some pretty cool things listed on there. You can get to it by clicking the link on the top right hand corner of my web portal. http://www.theresadern.unfranchise.com Well, back to work. Blah. I can't wait to make Professional Coodinator so I can quit my job and get my butt back to Los Angeles where I belong, with my pretend husband Billy Zane. Mood: determined

	2003.08.04  16.56 grrr... I'm not in the best mood today. I'm still annoyed at those people. Oh well. I'll get over it. I just feel kind of depressed lately and these people aren't helping matters. I'm sure it's mostly PMS so it's not a big deal. I'll be fine once I am on my way to North Carolina tomorrow. Mood: grumpy

	2003.08.03  20.14 Holy Conflama Batman!!! Jeeeeeezus. Why do people have to make a big fucking drama over the stupidest shit??? This makes 2 people in 2 days that are pissed at me for something completely and utterly RETARDED. One person is pissed that I didn't go to their bbq. Another guy from ebay is pissed that the Switchblade Symphony comic book I sold him didn't come fresh out of Tina Root's womb. Now he wants a full refund. And you know something, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." GET OVER IT, PEOPLE!!! *and people wonder why I don't go out of my way to hang out with goths anymore. no offense to any goths on my friends list. it just seems that anytime there is drama in my life it involves a goth. I'm not saying all goths are like this, just most of them.* (okay, now I'm sure I just pissed off every goth that reads this. Oh well. More people to join the "Theresa Is An Ass" fanclub.) Mood: pissed off

	2003.08.01  11.08 Hrm... Damn damn damnity damn damn. The screenwriting class I want to take is on the same night as my bellydance class. Oh what to do! What to do!! Grrr.... Why can't the world revolve around ME?? Don't they know who I AM?? Tootsie Rolls were on sale at CVS yesterday so I bought a bag. I can't stop eating them now. Evil little creatures. I leave for North Carolina on Tuesday. Oh the joys of being in a car for 12+ hours. Mood: working

	2003.07.30  15.51 sleeeeeepppyyyyy I need a nap in the worst possible way. Everytime the dean is in I end up drained by the end of the day. Not to mention blind from trying to read his handwriting. And he has this HUGE book that he is writing, and of course he writes it all by hand, and lucky me gets to try to figure out what the heck it says and type it up. My eyes are bugging out of my head. All I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. But I can't because I am supposed to go to a friends house tonight. I won't be staying there long though. I'm wiped out. Completely. zzzzzzzzzzz............ Mood: drained

	2003.07.23  13.03 Thoughts and Ponderings So here I sit, at work, bored out of my tree, eating pumpkin seeds. I love pumpkin seeds, but they put way too much salt on them. They get kind of nasty after a while. I like salt, but this is enough to choke a horse. I woke up to the most glorious thunder storm at 4:00 this morning. That was a treat! Yes folks, I'm a Thor Whore. Thunder storms rock my socks. And this one was nice and loud with lots of lightning. Thor made me a very happy girl this morning. I don't know what it is about thunder storms. I just find them to be very soothing. Maybe I'm just weird. Hey guess what. I actually started to write the outline for my screenplay. Go me!! Now I just have to finish it. I'm a great one for not finishing what I started. But this time I have to finish it, or else! Mood: bored

	2003.07.21  13.32 $$$ I can't wait to get paid on Friday. I am pretty much broke right now. Unless I dip into my savings again, which I don't want to do. Or dip into my business account, which I really shouldn't do. Though it looks like I might have to. Oh well. Such is life. Sooner or later (preferably sooner) I will be well on my way to being rich. I just have to be patient and stay on track. And not go shopping when I have bills to pay. D'oh!! Where is my winning lottery ticket???? Mood: blah

	2003.07.18  12.33 Good friends make all the difference. My friend Robyn rules. She is one of the corporate bigwigs at Casual male, and she said she can probably get me a job at one of their Los Angeles stores. She knows pretty much everyone out there and she said she'd be happy to call them for me and get me hooked up. That would ROCK!!! YAY!!! It will be nice to have a job waiting for me when I get there, so I don't have to struggle like every other actor in town. The screenplay is also in the works. I have the plot. I just have to write it all out. And then somehow convince Billy Zane and Johnny Depp to star in it with me. LOL!!! Wishful thinking, but hey, we all need a fantasy. Mood: bouncy

	2003.07.11  15.00 retarded Sometimes I can be retarded. I should have moved back to California as soon as I got that $5000 check from my accident. But no. I decided to wait. And now the money is almost gone. I could kick myself. I could have been in L.A. right now, with my friends, but instead I was a dummy. I knew the money wouldn't last. I don't know why I told myself I could resist it. Life happens and things get expensive. Not to mention the trips I have taken, that could have been avoided. Whatever. I'm not that smart when it comes to money. I am still planning to move back to L.A. this fall. Even if I am broke. Mood: discontent Music: "It's Raining Men" - The WeatherGirls

	2003.07.10  14.37 I have returned. I am back. I went to Maine to go whitewater rafting. It rocked. This was my 3rd time rafting, and I am hooked. I even started looking online for places to go rafting when I move to California. It is soooo much fun. One of these days I'm going to try whitewater kayaking. There were some people boogie-boarding in the river too. That looked like tons of fun as well. There was one boogie-boarder with fake blood on his face to look like he smashed into a rock. That was funny. I took his picture. Mood: cheerful

	2003.07.02  16.51 fear and loathing in las vegas, or los angeles. As much as I am excited to be moving back to LA, there is quite a bit of fear in me. Why you ask? Because I know what I'm getting myself into, that's why. When I moved out there the last time, I was very naive. I had no clue what the whole thing was about. Now I know. And even though I still want it, I am scared. It's a big deal to just up and quit a steady job, to chase after a dream that has no guarantees. But, it's all I can think about. It's the only thing I see myself being happy doing. So, therefore, I must overcome the fear and just do it. And stop letting my mother make me feel guilty for "leaving her" again. Mood: scared

	2003.06.30  12.01 Mourning, and other things. My beloved Katherine Hepburn has passed away. What an amazing woman she was. And one of the greatest actresses to ever live. Alot of actresses of that golden era were a bit over the top, but Katherine was always dead on and believable. She will be missed. I got an estimate from a moving company that does cross country. It will be $1400 to move my stuff. That includes insurance, disassembling everything, wrapping it all up in blankets, labeling it all, driving it out the LA, and setting it all up for me. That's not bad for all that stuff. I'm still going to keep shopping around though. I have plenty of time. Mood: contemplative

	2003.06.25  10.54 eep. Yesterday was my birthday. It was fine except for the part where I fell down and smashed my face off the pavement. And I wasn't even drunk! I tripped over a cobble stone. Fucker. Mood: blah

	2003.06.23  13.08 How nice. My belly dance show went very well. One of the beaded tassles on my belt broke and scattered all over the floor, but I didn't even notice so who cares. I didn't know until one of the dancers mentioned it to me. The dance itself went very well. I was happy with it. My veil didn't get caught on my tiara which was nice. It got caught in dress rehearsal so I was afraid to swing the veil over my head, but I managed to do it without getting stuck. And my timing was right on, so that's good. I'm sad that it's over. Tomorrow is my birthday, which means I am taking the day off of work. And thank God too, because I'm an so exhausted lately. I'm way too busy for my own good. That much I can tell you. It's really catching up with me. I will be sleeping late tomorrow. Then it's off to the theater with Mom to see "Shear Madness". Not much else going on. I need a nap. Mood: chipper Music: "Material Girl" - Madonna

	2003.06.20  15.52 shimmy My belly dance show is tomorrow night. I hope I don't screw up. There is a part in the middle that I don't have any choreography for, so I have to improvise that part. I hope it doesn't mess up the choreographed parts. It seemed fine at dress rehearsal, but I was working on it last night and kept losing my place. Oh well. I always seem to do better with an audience. Mood: dorky

	2003.06.19  16.29 June is a popular month to give birth Apparently June is THE month for birthdays. My friend Lisa and I went out to the Outback last night for dinner to celebrate our birthdays (hers was yesterday and mine is on Tuesday) and there were 2 or 3 other birthdays there at the same time. And then today there was a birthday party at work for this girl Deborah that works in building services. My mother is taking me to see "Shear Madness" on my birthday. That will be fun. I haven't seen it in a long time. And it's improv so it's different every time. We were thinking of seeing "Blue Man Group" but all the seats they have for next week are crappy. I'll just see it some other time. It's not going anywhere. I am taking the day off on Tuesday to celebrate Me Day. I'm sure the weather will suck as it has sucked for a whole year now. So I plan on cleaning my house. Aren't you jealous? And then it's off to the show with mom. I never have any time to rest, so I am glad I have that day off. I'm way too busy lately. Mood: busy

	2003.06.18  13.59 Damn weather. So it's the middle of June and I have my space heater on under my desk. It's bloody cold, and rainy and gloomy. Are we ever going to get a summer?? This is rediculous. The good news is, I have finally decided I am definitely moving back to Los Angeles in either October or November. Preferably October. My former landlord, who is also a good friend, is hooking me up. He said don't even worry about money, just show up and he will not only give me a cheap place to live but he said he can also get me a job. XOXOXOXO He is the best. So by the end of the year Boston will be a thing of the past. Although my family and friends are still here so I will be back to visit. But at least I don't have to live in this gloom and doom for much longer. I just have to rent a truck and find someone who wants to drive cross country with me. Mood: excited

	2003.06.11  15.56 hmm Sometimes I feel like I am the oldest fart on Blurty. I will 32 in 13 days. I don't feel old. But compared to alot of people I have come across on here, I am pretty much up there. But that's ok. It is pouring out right now. POURING!!! Where is the thunder they promised me?? My business presentation went very well last night. I'm pleased. I got a few people interested in products and the business. So that makes me happy. Tomorrow night I have another one, though I don't have as many people coming. That's ok. As long as the ones that say they are coming show up I'll be happy. http://www.theresadern.unfranchise.com Don't be shy. Click the link, improve your health, make some money. Mood: pleased

	2003.06.10  14.24 Hello I had a rehearsal for my belly dance show on Sunday night. I wasn't sure how it would go, as I haven't fully choreographed my piece yet. Though I have most of it. It turned out well. I know the song well enough that I can improvise when needed. I do have a few more ideas I want to add to it. I will have to work on that this week. Not that I have time, as I have to do two business presentations (tonight and thursday night). Maybe I can work on it a bit tomorrow night after my chiropractor appointment. Friday night I will be belly dancing at the beach, so maybe I can play around with some moves there too. I won't have my music, but I can still see what other moves I can come up with. I hope my boobs don't fall out of my bra. I had my costume on last night to see how it all looks and the bra is a bit more um..... revealing..... than I had anticipated. My parents are going to be at the show too. It's bad enough my mother thinks belly dancers are a bunch of harlots as it is, nevermind if I am dancing around with my boobs popping out. Mood: naughty Music: Pink

	2003.06.06  16.35 rolling along Business is picking up. I am getting orders on a regular basis. Things are good. I am doing some presentations next week, where I hope to recruit my friend Melissa. I think she would rock at this business. And she already loves the products and hasn't even tried them yet!! She is already trying to get people to use the products and she hasn't even got her order yet!! LOL!! I love this girl. She kicks butt. http://www.theresadern.unfranchise.com Go Now!!! Mood: bouncy

	2003.06.05  12.22 the day of reckoning Today is commencement here at Harvard. It is a mad house. I'm glad I don't have to be involved in it all. I am just hanging out in my office, by myself. A bunch of grads just walked by. The dean is running around like a chicken with his head cut off. At least he's not up my arse. I have an ingrown toenail. I was performing surgery on it last night. Now it feels funny. Mood: indifferent

	2003.06.02  15.42 I'm back! I'm back from Bermuda. I had an awesome time. I swam with dolphins. I went snorkling. I got a sunburn. What more could a girl want?? I also went Salsa dancing with my aunt and a few local guys. That was such a blast. I can't wait until next year's cruise!! Taso is a tool. Sad but true. First of all he looks nothing like his picture. Isn't that always the way?? He's not nasty looking though. Just kind of a chubby with uneven teeth. Teeth are my pet peeve. If you have nice teeth I'll be a happy girl. If they are all different sizes, shapes, and colors, then we have a problem. His teeth are white, but otherwise they are just all kinds of wrong. But anyway, we got along pretty well. He even paid for everything. Then he drove me back to my car. He kissed me goodnight, I went to leave, and he said "not yet" and kissed me again and held my head so I couldn't pull away. (annoying). Then he started kissing my neck, and I told him he better not give me a hickey or else. And what does he do?? He gives me a hickey. That fucker. He just IM'd me a few minutes ago and I told him I was too busy to talk. Why would someone do something that you specifically told them not to do, especially when they know you are going on a tropical vacation with your family??? What a tool. So anyway, he's pretty much done. I took my ad down and I am no longer going to meet guys that way. Because it is always a disaster. Mood: blah

	2003.05.23  13.19 Ugh. Men. I've already got a bad feeling about Taso. We just had a heated discussion about drinking, and I was saying how I think getting drunk and ending up with a hangover is not fun, and I don't see the point. And he said it's fun when you hear the stories your friends tell you later. And I'm like Why would anyone want to get so trashed that they don't even remember what they did??? And he's like "It's just fun sometimes." Whatever. And then he changed the subject to the weather, and asked if people go to the beach topless in Bermuda. I said I have never seen anyone do that there. Then he asked if I do it. Uh... first of all, not your business. Second of all, no I don't. Why would anyone ask that of someone they haven't even met yet??? And he keeps calling me "sexy". I hate that unless I know you. He's calling me sexy now but what happens when he meets me and he decides I am not what he is looking for because a) I am not a supermodel and b) I don't put out. I will put out after I am in a relationship with you for a while and there is trust and respect, etc. But don't expect it anytime soon Bucko!! I just get the feeling he is going to be one of those octopus guys. All hands. The only octopus I like are the ones that live in the sea. Maybe I am wrong about him. He could turn out to be a perfect gentleman. But after today's chat, I am not holding my breath. I think I am just meant to be single. I have no patience for this stuff. I just don't get excited about dates anymore. I don't even check guys out anymore. (Except Billy Zane, but that doesn't count because he's a movie star and not someone I could ever have anyway. He's just my fantasy man). I am just not impressed with the types of men I attract. They are either completely insane, horny as a toad, cheap ass mo-fo's, or fell out of the ugly tree. Not to mention DUMB. Why can't I attract a guy that I might actually WANT to be with?? Maybe Taso will turn out ok. I will give him a chance. But as of right now I am losing interest. ( Now we're talking! ) Mood: annoyed