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Friday, May 28th, 2004

    Time Event
    4:21p
    Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this...
    *sigh* wow, so a lot has happened...

    i tried giving Luke another chance, but he completely blew it again by being arrogant again. so i blocked him and assumed that was that. then he sent me an appologetic ecard, but it lacked sincerity. he's still on block... i just don't want to deal with his arrogant bullshit right now.

    ok, so i'm really confused right now about boy stuff... damn boys...

    since my dear marianna left etown CJ and i have spent almost every waking moment together. We talked a lot and were getting really close. the night before he moved from etown he spent the night on my pull out couch and just before i went to my room for the night we hugged goodbye and as i pulled away.. there was this incredible moment. we just looked into each others' eyes and there was an indescribable connection. we talked about it and the feeling was mutual, but we both decided we didn't want to screw up our good friendship.

    yesterday i drove an hour to see him at home (which was a big catastrophy getting there b/c i suck at driving where i don't know where i am), but anyway, as we were in the hot tub together i started thinking, "why not? what's holding me back from the next step with him? he cares about me a lot, i care about him, we connect so easily..." so we talked a lot and we got in bed together to snuggle and after awhile it just happened, and we kissed. he's so cute :-D lol and a good kisser!

    so now i'm just really confused.. i dont know if i want a relationship, if he does, if it would ruin our friendship, etc. he's supposed to come to my house for memorial day, which i'm excited for. i don't know.. i guess i'll just see how it plays out, and of course i'll let you know...

    Current Mood: confused

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