Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in LittleKittyPants' Blurty:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
9:06 pm	Grrr If I could Un-invent any invention in the history of man, it wouldn't be guns, or nuclear bombs, or even college exams ... it would without a doubt be FANTASY SPORTS!!!! I've been screwed over by Fantasy Sports by 3 guys now, two of which were long-term relationships. Apparently even poontang can't over power men's great urge to huddle over a computer and "draft" their fantasy teams with all their other loser friends. There is clearly a sublte homosexual undertone to the whole concept ... "Lets spend HOURS picking our favorite guys!!" grr. i'm out Current Mood: pissed off (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
4:09 pm	She works hard for the $$ ... oh wait, i'm not getting paid Hi everyone! Again, many sorries for not being as consistant with my journal writing as i should be, but a little every now and then is better than nothing i guess. So today i began my internship at Advantica in Carlisle, PA. I'm really excited about the projects i'll be working on. Advantica makes software for international water/gas companies... thrilled yet? but it's going to be really cool... basically i'll be doing technical writing stuff like making instruction manual for the software and help guides, etc. i'll be learning a lot about formatting and layout and editing. i might even get to do a little bit in the marketing and public relationsions area too. i'm not getting paid for it :-( but my grandfather is sending me a little bit of money so that i can afford not to work over the summer, which is really great of him. BIG NEWS!!! hehe The year long celebacy is OVER! lol After a long friendship and a short period of "seeing each other" CJ and now officially together and Afton can get booty on a regular basis lol. But in all seriousness, i really do love him a lot and even though i'm kind of antsy about the whole committment thing there's really no one else i want to date and i'm really happy, which is what really matters. My ex-best friend Amy and I hung out for the first time in ages while i was home last week... i have mixed feelings about it tho. The only reason i hung out with her is b/c she finally initiated it all.. which is all i ever wanted from her in the first place. so anyway, part of me still resents her and is hurt and angry... but another part of me will always love her and even tho we've been through so much together we still connect on a deep level, which i enjoy. I guess that's all i have to report for right now... cya!! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Lit- A place in the sun (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 28th, 2004
4:21 pm	Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this... *sigh* wow, so a lot has happened... i tried giving Luke another chance, but he completely blew it again by being arrogant again. so i blocked him and assumed that was that. then he sent me an appologetic ecard, but it lacked sincerity. he's still on block... i just don't want to deal with his arrogant bullshit right now. ok, so i'm really confused right now about boy stuff... damn boys... since my dear marianna left etown CJ and i have spent almost every waking moment together. We talked a lot and were getting really close. the night before he moved from etown he spent the night on my pull out couch and just before i went to my room for the night we hugged goodbye and as i pulled away.. there was this incredible moment. we just looked into each others' eyes and there was an indescribable connection. we talked about it and the feeling was mutual, but we both decided we didn't want to screw up our good friendship. yesterday i drove an hour to see him at home (which was a big catastrophy getting there b/c i suck at driving where i don't know where i am), but anyway, as we were in the hot tub together i started thinking, "why not? what's holding me back from the next step with him? he cares about me a lot, i care about him, we connect so easily..." so we talked a lot and we got in bed together to snuggle and after awhile it just happened, and we kissed. he's so cute :-D lol and a good kisser! so now i'm just really confused.. i dont know if i want a relationship, if he does, if it would ruin our friendship, etc. he's supposed to come to my house for memorial day, which i'm excited for. i don't know.. i guess i'll just see how it plays out, and of course i'll let you know... Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Monday, May 17th, 2004
1:21 pm	Hello all! Summer has arrived hehe :-D Ok, so i guess you're all wondering about my "big date" that i had on saturday. my first impression was "Wow he IS pretty hot!!" well he got a little lost getting to my place so he was pretty tired of being out when he got here, so clearly he didn't want to go out anywhere. so instead we watched American Pie and gave each other back massages. the massage he gave me sucked tho, he kept stopping b/c he was paying attention to the movie, and it was for a really short time. so after the movie we made out on the couch a little, and he still didn't wanna go out anywhere. then we decided to play Deluxe Strip Poker (Mistake #1). of course i lost terribly and wound up naked in no time flat. we'll just say once we were both nake things just went from there ... I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM. but some stuff did happen, actually, a lot of firsts for me happened that night lol i soon realized that not only was he pushy, but he was the most selfish bastard i've EVER met. i did about 90% of the giving and the 10% i got was mostly just for him too. most of the time i was wondering if he even gave a shit about getting to know ME .. which i guess was stupid since he IS a guy. after everything he literally passed out in my bed. the next morning we were both really hungry, and of course i don't have food at my place. i suggested we go out for breakfast since we didn't go out last night. he was like "oh i gotta take off soon, sorry" then he proceeded to check his online fantasy baseball team for about an hour. fucking jerk. by the time this all happened i just wanted to get him the hell out of my house. i was pretty much pissed off and dissapointed in the entire male gender. he was such a typical pig kind of guy .. even tho he was PERFECT from the outside (and downstairs hehe) he sucked as a person. i realized how much i need that emotional connection and friendship bond. for this reason i called CJ immediately and ran over to his place. After the night i had it felt sooooo nice to be hugged by someone that i KNOW really really cares about me, and likes who i am on the inside. it was his birthday so we hung out all day and then we went to Carlos & Charlie's at night. i had some DAMN good drinks!! -- lightning blue lemonade, sexarita on the beach, strawberry colada, and some surfer thing. clearly i was trashed. so we went back to my place and talked until 3 30 in the morning. it was one of the best, most intimate and caring converstations i've ever had. CJ RESTORED MY FAITH IN "MAN"KIND! lol so for now i'm just looking for a job and relaxing a bit ... i can't wait to go home this week!! speaking of which, i think i might go out with my ex-best friend when i go home... its a really big deal b/c we had a falling out a while ago and i havent seen her since like october. plus, if i do go out with her i plan on talking to her about our issues and from that i will decide how much of our friendship is worth saving or working on. ok so that about wraps it up for now! (be safe kids, wrap it up everytime!) "When I was down You came to me And promised to always be By my side Now you're gone And I'm waiting patiently" --"Jamie" -weezer/dashboard oh, P.S. Marianna is the best best friend ever! she's called a bunch to check in on me.. i love hearing her voice, it makes me feel safe. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: "Jamie" - Dashboard Confessional (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 9th, 2004
2:13 am	Penguin Bandits Greetings! Sorry about the no updatage lately... i've just been busy/stoned and it's hard to catch up on your journal when you haven't written in forever. Anyway, i'm working on finals which sucks but at least i feel productive about something for once. i'm still finding it hard to concentrate on one thing and focus, but it's getting a little better. Wish me luck! TGIS was fabulous. my sister came up and partied with me which was awesome... i love when we have those sisterly bonding moments. FOr his protection i will not use his name but we'll just say its a certain penguin lol marianna always feel the need to steal things from random places, this year we helped a penguin escape from its cruel owner while we wore cowboy hats lol. i drove the get-away car. it was sooooo much fun, i've never forget it and neither will our penguin. its too hard to wrap up the school year with a few sentences, so i wont even try. all i'll say is that even though there were truely terrible moments, there were at least as many happy ones. for those i thank all of the people who hung around with me when i needed them the most. whether it was a late night drive to the closed diner, thursday night smokeage, a surprise party, burito-fest 2004, or just a phone call... i wouldn't trade a minute of it or any of you for anything, not even for the biggest pizza in the world lol From the very bottom of my heart, Thank you and I love you. Oh wait, i guess i did just summarize the year hehe oh well. heres mariannas top events list for the year: 1.) The nite Afton thought a fridge was an aquarium and the magnets were fish 2.) Steve chasing Drew with an Eggo box on his hand 3.) "Drunken" sledding with Afton, "I'm peeing!", and literally running Ali over with the mattress sled 4.) Brenda accidentally locking herself in the bathroom 5.) The Halloween sleepover and Amy's "EEEEE!!!" screams 6.) Stealing Penguino from someone's front lawn 7.) A horse on wheels 8.) Andrea's "AND THEN!" and "Do you believe in magic?" 9.) The Bio Kids drinking in our 10 am physics class 10.) Dell Day, lounging in random pools, and "What's your last name?" 11.) Jeff coming to my room at 7 am on a Friday totally drunk 12.) Our total being $4.20 at Wendy's and A-Z Video 13.) Every TNS! 14.) Frankenstein wastes a minute of our time 15.) meeting Drew Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Paul Simon- Obvious Child (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 29th, 2004
6:18 pm	"They say goldfish have no memory" I'm looking forward to TGIS. it will be good times. ok here are some lyrics.. You see it's our style to keep it true I've had a bad year, a lot to go through I've been knocked out, beat down, black and blue She's not the one coming back for you She's not the one coming back for you If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend It takes disaster to learn a lesson You're gonna make it through the darkest night Some people betray one and cause treason We're gonna make everything alright Well the worst of times, now, they don't phase me Even if I look and act really crazy I went way down, she betrayed me Now my vision is no longer hazy I'm very lucky to have my crew They stood by me when she flew I've been knocked out, beat down, black and blue She's not the one coming back for you She's not the one coming back for you If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend --rancid Current Mood: tired Current Music: Ani Difranco (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 24th, 2004
5:33 pm	Prozac Diary Hey, long time no see. My computer's still busted, hence the no writing. I'm completely unmotivated, which also helps... aka. why i'm writing this instead of doing work. I just completely feel like shit. I kind of realized that much of this is b/c of the depression and medication, plus my self-medication, which isn't helping. I feel like i'm falling down a black hole and there's nothing i can do to claw my way back up. For many reasons, some good and some bad, no one is here with me right now, and i wonder about that. why i'm sitting here alone, and what i've done to make it this way. its all fucking up my school work and my relationship with a lot of people. i just want to be me again. my only saving grace is when i actually get something accomplished, but that good feeling doesn't last as long is it usually dones. or when i'm with someone who understands exactly what i'm going through. even though i feel isolated i have that one special person who i can talk to and i don't feel crazy anymore, i feel like what's been going on isn't just me. thank you so much special person. "True, I have many voices. I speak like a let-down lover, a diarist, a social critic, straight sass. I fear I am everything, which of course amounts to being nothing." --Lauren Slater, Prozac Diary Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
2:44 pm	Happy Easter Hello Tons has been going on. Sorry i haven't been writing, but my computer is completely and utterly broken. so i havent even been able to check my email let alone write in my journal :-( Vegas wasn't all it was cracked up to be... i got the flu, the weather was cold and rainy, and nothing seemed to work out for us that weekend. The JR/SR was really a lot of fun, despite a little too much drama. AHHH! this is like Christmas all over again:-( i'm in NJ and all everyone is talking about is my Uncle who passed away in November. My cousins and aunt came over, which i was glad to see b/c i haven't seen them since the funeral, but thier visit is what spawned the long, loud conversation going on in the next room. i just don't want to think about that right now. my diet and exercise has been interesting. i'm either binging on pounds and pounds of food while i'm inhebriated, or i'm starving myself. plus i had the flu, so i didnt eat for a few days. in the last few weeks i went to the gym everyday, but since i havent been feeling well and i've had a lot of school work i've kinda slacked off. some days i feel like i look really awesome (like today!) but most days i feel really fat as usual. all i know is that before i left for vegas i lost 2.5 pounds of my 5 pound goal... i have no idea where i'm at know, and i think i'll keep it that way. ok thats it for now... i'll write when i can! Current Mood: okay (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
12:31 pm	grr Just a message to let everyone know i'm in a pissy mood... emails make me angry. i hate computers. grr grr grr people suck, especially professors and college students lol arg arg arg i want to go home. okay, i'm done sulking Current Mood: pissed off (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
5:03 pm	"It's not polite in society to have a boner in your pants"-Dwyer Greetings! Wow, I am drained! I've been up since 5:30 am doing work non-stop. It really is my fault that I put things off until the last possible minute it's due, but ah well I can still complain. I literally started my Etownian article today and finished 3 minutes before the deadline, how close was that?! I am good. I'm at the library wrtiting this because my computer is retarded. It has almost completely shut down now. CJ is coming over to look at it tonight, so hopefully that will help. 3 days till VEGAS!!! THANK YOU JESI! Speaking of Jesi, i saw Passion of the Christ this weekend by myself, what a way to spend a friday night huh? It was REALLY good though. Myself and another woman in the audience were audibly crying during the crucifixion scene:-( I want to talk about something that happened over the weekend, but i'm not sure who all is reading this, so i'll zip it for now. My cat and i are still horny as hell, although i released some of that energy at the Junior/Senior Formal. Tons of tripple kissage, ice cube licking, booty dancing etc. Good times! The food was great AND i even got to wear a fashionable neon orange wrist band that said I'm 21. drinks were good too, clearly i called my mom when i was smashed and OH there are pictures! I need to eat and crash! Current Mood: tired Current Music: people talking in the library, SHH! it's a library! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
2:45 pm	Hello my babies! Yay! my enter key is working!!! thats a friggin first! now maybe i can do something productive on this computer! Anyway, today is super dooper. I'm just in a great mood and i feel great and look great:-) i'm actually starting to get some of my motivation back, i wanna get work done (as i'm procrastinating by writing this). Yesterday was like the first day of no drugs or alcohol and now i feel great... coincidence? maybe.. but i'm gonna keep doing with out them and see if i still feel this wonderful. I've met a lot of boys on the internet recently. They all seem pretty cool. The one guy, Luke, lives in Baltimore and from his pics he looks like a hottie biscottie. I sent him some questions to get to know him, i REALLY liked about half of the answers and didn't like the other half. But the half i liked were more important kinds of things anyways. I am astounded by the overwhelming love and support i have been getting from my friends lately. i guess i shouldnt have doubted them, but i never realized how much so many people care about me. knowing that really helps get me through the bad days. i'm single, but i don't think i've EVER felt as loved and appreciated as i do now. Thank you so much, i feel just as strongly about you all too. My ex-best friend (weird term) Amy, wrote me an email on my bday. I was not expecting it. But since then we've been writing back and forth rather consistantly. I don't know what to make of it. I'm glad to be in touch with her, but there are a million things that i'm still hurting from, and i don't think i can ever trust her again. plus, we havent even talked about the nastyness... should i stick up for myself? or should i just leave it as acquaintences? i dunno The Junior/Senior Formal is this Saturday!! i can't wait to hang out with my bestest friends and my date CJ! plus, i LOVE getting all dressed up and pretty:-) okay, gotta get back to doing work. i heart you! "In the dark, on the phone You tell me the names of your brothers And your favorite colors I'm learning you And when it snows again We'll take a walk outside And search the sky like children do I'll say to you... Now way November will see our goodbyes When it comes to December it's obvious why No one wants to be alone at Christmas time Come January we're frozen inside Making new resolutions a hundred times February, won't you be my valentine? And we'll both be safe till St. Patrick's Day" --John Mayer, St. Patrick's Day Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: John Mayer - clarity - owoo owoo owoo! (Comment on this)
Friday, March 19th, 2004
10:46 am	Legal Drink-A-Thon! hello my little squishies! This 21st birthday thing is turning into a month long event! When it turned midnight on my birthday i had my first legal shot of rum with Marianna. Then we picked up a few more friends to go to the diner. Well the diners were closed so we just went back to my place and got stoned. Then on my birthday i went home and my mom and i went out to get dinner and drinks. The bartender knew it was my bday so he made my cosmopolitan extra strong, AND they were buy one get one free, who can pass that up?! so clearly i was wasted at the dinner table. Tuesday night blew me away. For some reason it seemed like all my friends were too busy to chat online, but i didn't really think anything of it. so 9 o'clock rolls around and i hear a knock at the door. so i answer the door in my pj's and i'm scared shitless when 8 people are standing there yelling SURPRISE! lol it was soooo much fun. we all got stoned and ate etc. i can't believe they were all so sweet to do that for me, i really really feel loved. Last night Beth Anne took me out to Carlos and Charlies, where i had the best Strawberry margarita and cheese fries!!! wow that was soooo good:-) i didn't even get carded! Then when i got back my girls and i had TNS as usual, and good times were had by all. Plus there's still the JR/SR and Vegas! So with all of this drinkage and stoning clearly there is no time for work. which is kind of a problem. i'm totally slacking in all of my classes and not really giving too much of a damn. i'm definitely just doing the minimum amount to get by. like i have a paper i was supposed to get peer edited today, but i havent even started it. i didn't do my geosystems homework, b/c i didn't know about it. I have another business writing paper due tues. I just don't know how this stuff is going to get done, i have other plans. I'm going to pick up my sis tomorrow so she can go to parties with us and whatnot. so maybe i can do some work sunday and she can watch tv, but yeah clearly it is not my priority... i'll scrape by somehow, i always do. My computer is being a dick. I'm really worried about one of my friends. she's going through a rough time and is withdrawing from school to get better. i had no idea it had gotten that bad:-( i hope she'll go home and get better so she can come back next semester. Well, the new dosage of Zoloft seems to be doing a little bit better. although it's hard to tell b/c i'm usually drunk or stoned. but i dont feel like i'm going to or want to die anymore, and that's always good. i could still feel a lot better... Tell me what it takes to let you go Tell me how the pain's supposed to go Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice? Tell me what it takes to let you go. Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own Yeah, yeah, yeah Tell me that it's better when you're all alone Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much Tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me -aerosmith Current Mood: lazy Current Music: aerosmith (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 13th, 2004
11:11 am	Chasing the ghost of a good thing Hola. First and foremost, Carlie the Cat is going crazy from horniness! lol shes peeing on everything, rubbing herself on stuff, cooing like a bird, and sticking her cute little kitty ass up in the air so someone will ram her. clearly its a case of the periods... uh oh, ick. It so reminds me of the Kitty orgy from South Park! but as it goes in this house, none of the girls are gonna get any :-( I went to the Doctor earlier than i was supposed to b/c my counselor recomended it. so i saw him yesterday and i got a higher dosage of the Zoloft, i'm gonna start that today, so we'll see how it goes.. as always i'll keep ya posted on that shiznit. I have some work to do this weekend, but mostly i'm looking forward to a big party tonight in the apartments and going home on monday for my birthday and my 1st legal drink!!! oh, and something weird. my mom asked me if i had gotten an email from my pop pop yet.. so she knows he's sending one. then she told me dad sent me a picture of a car to look at. i havent gotten the Pop pop email, so i still dont know what its about yet. now i'm not a math major but i can put two and two together. or maybe i'm just being silly and getting my hopes up too much :-/ we'll see! love you guys to pieces... i will get through and over this someday, thanks for helping me. ps. thanks for chillin' with me last night Andrea, i had a super time, youre a great girl! Current Mood: Hung over Current Music: the cat fucking COOING her head off & Dashboard Confesional (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 6th, 2004
11:54 pm	Life Ain't Nothin' But Bitches and Money argy argy arrrrrrrrgh!!! ok so i called James today... we'll say it went poorly. i barely got a word out of my mouth to him before his trailer trash pregnant girlfriend hung the phone up on me. so clearly thats way too much fucking drama and i'm done with that. it just pisses me off b/c he lied, he PROMISED me he would always be there for me no matter what, and he isn't. so much for trying to renew old friendships, but at least i have *some* sense of closure about it, which i desperately needed. I'm also getting really antsy about this medication thing. it's driving me crazy that i was just starting to feel normal again on Paxil, then the doc ripped me off it and onto this Zoloft shit. maybe i just need a higher dosage or something. i have an appointment to talk with my counselor on Friday so at least i can talk to someone who can help and give me advice. yeah, i'm just pretty much entirely consumed with feeling horrible. Sopranos Season 4: excellent! i even convinced my mom to buy HBO so we can watch the next season that starts tomorrow. even though i dont live at home... she's going to tape it for me, good times:-) oh, Matt and I AND Ashleigh from work went out Friday night. i kind of wanted to be alone with Matt so we could talk, but it was still a good time and i got a milkshake out of the deal too! i'm a bargain hunter! i got $1,000 worth of clothes for $300 !!!!!!!! how fucking sweet is that! its all nice stuff, stuff i can wear to a job/internship. i'm tired y'all... goodnight my babies! Current Mood: tired Current Music: the hum of the dryer (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
8:07 pm	Spring Break For the most part I've had a good time at home. My sis and I have been hanging out a lot and watching movies. So far we've watched Thirteen, Spun, White Oleander, and Cabin Fever. Clearly Cabin Fever was the only bad one among them, but at least some parts of it were so lame it was funny. "Whats the fox piss for?" "Foxes" "Whats the gun for?" "N*ggers" really stupid movie. My mom and i are having good times too, shopping and eating during the day, watching The Sopranos at night! Other than that thing are going poorly. As i've said before i'm on new medication and its clearly not working. I feel like shit everyday again. Now i'm even getting really tired again like i was when i was getting the worst. i think i'm going to finish out the month and talk to the dr. when my perscription is up, but if things start getting even worse i might have to call him before then. Plus, i've been watching "till death do us part: carmen and dave" on MTV and clearly i've been in love with Dave since 7th grade!!! argh. so that show really really depresses me. goody, tonight is the wedding episode where he's so in love he cries... whoo. yet, he's hot so i must watch. Also, the James thing is really eating me up. Some of you know what i'm talking about and others might not, but i'm really tired of rehashing it for those who don't but bear with me. I called his parents once this week but they werent there, which kind of relieved me. But i spent allllll day thinking about him, so i might try again tomorrow. *cross your fingers for me* i dont even know what i want out of this, it would be so much easier if he wasnt with someone. but on the other hand i found a letter from him today that said something like "No matter who i'm with i'll always put you first as my friend for life... Anytime you need me i'll always be here, etc" so that's reassuring. i'll let ya know about that one. i saw matt at R&TT the other day, we're supposed to hang out friday after he gets off work, good times:) "I know that my world is coming down I know, I know I'm the one who brought it down" --type o negative Current Mood: depressed Current Music: none, daddy is sleeping (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
7:12 pm	"I don't know what it is so get me over" hey yall. things have been weird... well mostly just crappy. The Mardi Gras party was a huge success and i got wasted and had lots of fun, but i think it kind of threw some things off balance. There was weirdness with tons of alcohol and no Zoloft in my system and i think its been fucking me up. plus i'm new to zoloft so i don't know how effective it will be for me and so on. i'm not having the side effects that i was with paxil, but i'm a lot sadder. yesterday i cried a few times, today i cried several times.. in the jay's nest and i even had to leave class to go cry in the bathroom. also for the first time in a long time suicide crossed my mind *gasp* its okay everyone, i would never do it. but it was something i used to think about a lot before i started taking medication, and now i'm worried because it i miserable again. hopefully its just a minor glitch and it will all even out soon. i'll keep ya posted. i have tons of work to do at home over break UGH! what the fuck? how is that any fucking break?! damn my professors and the etownian for giving me work. i'm getting my act together and sending in my internship application next week! yay! Dr. Downing looked over my stuff today and said it all looked good and that i should send it off :-D *crosses figers* wish me luck! (i know i'm forgetting something) i have a new baby cousin! she was born Feb 12th and her name is Jianna Raquel. i cant wait to see her. my best bud has been feelin' down lately too :-( i want to wish her all the love and luck in the world because she really is a special girl and i care about her a lot. i guess that's it for now... i'll write when i remember what ever it was that i forgot hehe. But why'd you have to break all my heart Couldn't you have saved a little bit of it? Why'd you have to break all my heart? Couldn't you have saved a minor part? I could have clipped and saved and planted in the garden Damn you guess I'll have to get a new one But why'd you have to break all my heart I could have ripped apart and thrown into the river Wonder if there's hearts that will deliver Don't ever change, don't ever worry Because I'm coming back home tomorrow --Rufus Wainwright Current Mood: drained Current Music: RUFUS!!! (Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2004
8:54 pm	Lincoln Log I need to keep up more often with this journal writing stuff, huh? compared to some other journals i look at i'm a slacker! hehe its just that i either never feel like anything noteworthy is going on in my life or that so much is going on i'm too busy to write. i'll work on that ;-) The biggest thing, which i'm sure you all already know... I'm going to Las Vegas with my mom for my birthday!!! there aren't words to describe my excitement! my mom really rocks my socks. we're going the first weekend of april. i might also be going to florida for spring break.. this is in a maybe state at this point. marianna remembered that her aunt lives in sarasota, florida and though we could probably stay with her. we looked up flight prices and theyre actually reasonable, if we act fast. my mom and dad are talking it over, so we'll see! also, i'm having a Mardi Gras party at my apartment tomorrow! its gonna be insane. we're making punch and jello shots, plus we have beer and we're setting up a pong table. i know the word has spread around campus and i'm expecting a huge turnout. i even invited Beautiful Eye Boy today and he said he'd try to make it ! marianna and i spent $80 in decorations, so i hope it goes off without a hitch. i'll let ya know how it goes. i didnt get assigned an article for the Etownian this week, which is a huge relief. now i just have to study and write a few papers before its off (to home or florida) for Spring Break! :-D ps. i'm feeling a lot happier about everything. bye monkeys!! Current Mood: content Current Music: none sir (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
9:22 pm	Hello you! hehe So picking up where I left off, my mom came on Sunday. It was a very good time. We chatted for a bit, went to see 50 First Dates (great movie), and then she made me some dinner. She's really one of my best friends and it was so good to see her. My article WAS published in the Etownian last friday! i was so excited to see my article! my mom was super impressed too and wants to send copies to all of our relatives lol it was really rewarding experience even though it majorly stressed me out. i'll probably have another assignment after break. Speaking of which, Spring Break starts friday Februar 27th and goes till sunday March 7th. I really wanted to go somewhere this year, but that kind of fell through. i'm just majorly excited about getting off school for a week and going home to be with mommykins. So my stomach has been a little bitch lately. I've had almost zero appetite for the last week, this is big news in a chub's world. i can't bring myself to make food and therefore i go until like 6 or 7 at night without eating anything. Then on monday i had to skip classes because i was feeling nauseaus (however you spell that) and i had stomach pains. My skin was all tingly and hot and sweaty, it felt like the flu.. or maybe i was just dehydrated. Anyway, i force fed myself a normal days worth of meals today and i feel like vomitting, lovely. I bought tickets to go to the Junior Senior formal, but i have no date:-( the tickets were $114 per couple!!! incredible. plus i had to stand in line for almost an hour and i missed my class. i'll find someone or other to be my "date" or i can at least sell the ticket. I love getting all girly and dressy, plus there will be cocktails and i'll be 21 by then so i can partake!! awesome!! I'm feeling really discouraged about my Business Writing class. its basically the class i'm basing my whole career on at this point and i'm not doing well at all. Every project i do comes out crappy and the whole rest of the class is catching right on. its really making me doubt my writing skills and whether i'll be able to do well at the internship i'm tying to get. its even making me wonder if i should be a writing major. what the hell should i do with my life?! Argh! ok that is all for now my sweet babies. It seems that you're not satisfied There's too much on your mind So you leave and I can't believe all the bullshit that I find Life is overwhelming Heavy is the head that wears the crown I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down But you don't understand when I'm attempting to explain Because you know it all and I guess things will never change But you might need my hand when falling in your hole Your disposition I'll remember when I'm letting go You and me we're through And rearranged You're no good For me Thank God its over --limp bizkit Current Mood: good Current Music: the ticking of the clock in the living room (Comment on this)
Friday, February 13th, 2004
11:42 am	My mom thinks I'm a catch :-D i feel really super right now hehe. of course i should be killing the awesome feeling with work i need to do for class today, but ehhh we'll let that one go for right now hehe. maybe i'm still stoned from last night and that's why i'm happy lol. but i don't think so, i mean sure i can still feel it a little, but i dont think thats it. i feel really free and happy. feel feel feel, i sure use that word a lot. so i'm hoping my article will apear in the Etownian today;-) i'm really psyched! it will totally sink my boner if it's not though... So i get to see Beautiful Eye Boy today in class, yummy hehe. some eye candy for valentines day. we'll see if i get the guts to talk to him today or not. i did on monday but we just talked about the weather lol and other stupid stuff. oh well :-p My mom is coming on sunday!! i cannot wait!! we're gonna hang out and go to the movies and whatnot, i love her so much, she is the best mommy ever. i have befriended a lot of ugly guys that don't have a chance in hell with me. and i realized i'm doing this because i like the attention. normal guys dont sit around and listen to you blab, only the ones who want to get into your pants do. plus, just knowing that someone wants me is nice to be around hehe. also i'm so intimidated by goodlooking guys, i usually stay away from them and assume theyre all assholes. so i know this all sounds terrible. ok so maybe i am a little stoned still. but i just woke up enough to realize it lol. but i'm happy for now so who cares. bye kiddies Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "Where is my mind" - the Pixies (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
7:17 pm	I am so incredibly sad right now. So much for the Paxil kicking in. I've been thinking a lot about my "ex-bestfriend" lately. I know that we have had problems since day one and ever since i've been taken advantage of and hurt over and over and over and over and over... more times than i can count. But i also shared the deepest friendship with her that i've ever had. partly, this was b/c i was in love with her for 5 years, but we were so close we basically spoke our own language, it was scary. What really set this entry off is this... its from her journal: "Things certainly aren't perfect. But they're the best they've been in a long time(with the exception of trouble with a friend) Hopefully things with her will work out too someday." Umm, the lesson that i want her to learn from all of this is that SHE has to be the one to appologise and beg me to come back for once. I'm tired of always being the one who comprimises. I really feel i've been wronged, hurt, and ignored, and even though deep down i love her more than anything and this kills me, i have to stay away from her until she realizes what she has to do. i respect and love myself too much to have a friend that ignores me and only talks to me when its convenient for her. I'm tired of getting hurt in that way, so i have to do this for me. Its so hard, and i miss her so much. "And I can't help recalling how it how it felt to kiss and hold you tight Well, how can I forget you, girl? When there is always something there to remind me Always something there to remind me I was born to love her, and I will never be free You'll always be a part of me" Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Beyonce-- "Me Myself and I" (2 Comments |Comment on this)