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Below are the 1 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, July 10th, 2003|
aye..this is new..so ya..i havent written in a journal n forever..so much has happened..i really need a journal to vent in...ok chad he calls me but he doesnt..make sense?? i mean like he calls me but its only for like 5 minutes at a time which is cool cuz i guess hes a guy..i wudnt want him callin me too much..but ive been thinkin alot..and i mean its like ive told him what hes doin wrong but he isnt doin nething about it dude..its like i understand he hasnt had a g/f n like a year..but i mean damn..im here this is now..he needsa make sum time for me..no one will truly understand my feelings for chad..not even me at times..id never wnat to hurt him..but it seems like im setting myself up for heartbreak lately..idk what it is about chad..hes so different from any guy ive ever dated..hes so awesome..if i never kissed him again..it wudnt bother me..this relationship will not b ruined by basing it on sex or nething like it..i mean chad is so great..this is the happoest ive ever been in a relationship it really is..ya im only 14..but i kno what i feel is true..and i wont let ne moron tell me different *cough* jason..gosh i hate him..i love ALL of chads friends xcept him..hes such an idiot i swear..he wants chad all to himself..i swear if his finance wud let him he'd take chad on his honeymoon..which mean hed be takin me too lol..but me n chads cuzin have started talkin more..i always thot she hated me lol..idk y..but shes really sweet n hopefully we can hang out sum time..omg the other nite was so embarasin i threw up n front of every1 including chad...ahhh..i was like..fuck..but it was funy..man all the guys will never let me live it down..moms still trippin over marlon..i swear that woman...im supposed to see chad all day tomorow..he sez "its my day" but i mean...will he come up wit an excuse?? or what..sumtimes i dun think he takes me as seriously as i take him..other times i do..but one time we were makin out n he sed..amanda i want u so bad..i was like..WHAT?!? i was like wtf..i still wander about that one lol..but it was funny..i bruised my butt bone :(..poor me..omg las nite i almost got arrested..me n tracy n john rickert all went to da movies n we went to krogers n i stoled the old pple moving cart n drove it too the movies..then we were all havin a grand time and boom..i hear a car bhind me n im like yay chad..n i see tracy n john haul ass n im like hmm not chad..n then the officer got out..n xplained i commited a felony bc it wasnt on krogers property so i had stolen and nething worth more then 200 dollers stolen is a felony..it was worth 2000 lol..but i was cryin cuz he was sayin he cud take me to jcyc..but at time i almost laughed n his face bc he was actin like i had robbed a bank..i stole a fuckin old fart cart...but ya the krogers guys showed up n thank God they were totally cool about it they werent even mad freal..but then my mom got there n she was like laughin she was like im the one wit the idiot on the cart..it was great tho..but ya..newayz..i feel very close to tracy rite now..w/o her supportin me w/ all this chad stuff idk what id do..she lisens to me countless hours just ramble on about the stupidest stuff about chad and drama n my life and struggles and fears..and i owe the world to her..shes such an awesome friend..we fight liek theres no tomrorw but we love each other :)..i just wish there was sumthin i cud do to help her feel happy..she deserevs so much more then what shes getting..omg the fone jus rang n i got it n i was walkin all confidently n singin n i tripped over the phone chord..man im such a dork..well hey its prolly better then what aloda pple do wen they r alone :o..but newayz back to tracy..jeff is so stupid..and tracy is so smart...not a good match lol...i saw stefen the othr nite he was bein an asshole..of corse..POSER..i shuda kept his ring..i miss dan he needsa get back from south carolina..me n manda aint friends no more me n tracy found out she was talkin bhind our back so we dun talk to her nemore..she made up that she had 2 years 2 live..ha..4 sum1 wit 2 years to live she sure treats her friends like shit..o well...enough of that..ive started talkin to this guy craig..hes pretty cool..and this other guy justin hes really cool too..tracy broke his heart...BITCH lol..but hes really nice hes gonna help me wit my music hehe..i really wana start a band dude..but i mite right later..idk..but ttyl for now!!!!!!