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[29 Mar 2005|01:45am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
oh how i must fix my friends list...........
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[15 Jan 2005|04:56pm] |
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I AM HERE!
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[28 Mar 2004|03:38pm] |
IM BACK!!!!!!
I just finished unpacking all my shit because im moving in at my parents house. The last month has been really messed up. Johnny and me just broke up like 3 days ago, so I Had to box up all of my stuff and move home (i was living at his house). I just went to pick up the last thing from his house which is my CD player and OMFG! His mom fucking gives me the finger! HA! oh well. Thats all I suppose.......... Peace out
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[16 Feb 2004|10:53am] |
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mood |
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 angry |
] |
OK HERE IS MY LIST OF CHANGES IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS.........
1. Zac and I dont Talk..... anymore
2. Matt . Y. and I, not friends now....
3. Wade moves.... actually thats today.....er......
4. if at all there is a good thing..... I have 3 more credits in school now.
5. Left home.....
6. More drugs
7. More smoking....
8. Falling back into old ways.....
9. Alex moved
10. More disorders discoved in me by psychristist (spelling???)
11. i dunno...........
i'll think of more l8r
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[16 Feb 2004|10:39am] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
] |
Oks
Wednesday = school, and hanging out down town......... (by the way i am talking about the week that just passed!)
Thursday= Missed the bus.... DAMN ... haha so there was of course No school for J.B.
Andddddddddd........ then i hung out downtown AGAIn.... with many many ppl..... and got really high, yes i did. ......er....... ya......hahahaha, it was good weed too!
Friday = No school (i never have school on fridays) and again hung out downtown with many ppls AGAIN! Yes.... AGAIN. lols. And HiGH... DAmN.
Saturday = WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO HAMILTON WITH ASHLEY, CHRIS AND CARRIE!!!!!! BUTTTTTTTTTTT..........i missed that ride. HAHA we were so high on extacy and weed. WHOA. And i again with the downtown. Which by the way...... lol...... im alWAYs DoWnTOWn. But nothing to do around town. hahaha. me and AKA (by the way, thats Alex, his nick name is "AKA") and we shoplifted from hahaha, this is funny..... DOLLARAMA! hahaha BAH, it's not that fun really........ and then i forget the rest.....
So moving on to .........
Sunday. = NO DRUGS FOR JB! shitty. I went to my parents house to talk, thats all
And Today = School.
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| keep those comments coming on my last entry... 50 |
[09 Feb 2004|11:11am] |
You're a ghetto stoner! Everybody loves you 'cause
you know your shit. you like to sit back, drink
a 40, smoke a blunt, and maybe go for a drive.
What a life!
What kind of stoner are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| 50! 50 50 50 50 I say 50! |
[04 Feb 2004|12:48pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
] |
SEE??? I TOLD YOU! NO ONE CARES.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT??? ---------> OK, IF I CAN GET THIS ENTRY TO HAVE MORE THAN 50, YES, 50!!! COMMENTS, (AND NO, NOT ALL FROM 1 PERSON, ALTHOUGH YOU CAN COMMENT MORE THAN ONCE, I'LL STILL COUNT IT) THEN I'LL COME BACK!
50!
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| NO MORE JOURNAL |
[02 Feb 2004|11:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Finch - Apologetic theory |
] |
OK IM SICK OF WRITING IN THIS........ SO I GUESS IM DONE WITH THIS FUCKING CRAPTACULAR JOURNAL........ ALSO, NOBODY COMMENTS TO ME ANYMORE, SO MAYBE YEAH, COMMENT IF YOU ACTUALLY CARE....... AND THEN MAYBE, JUST MAYBE I'LL BE BACK AGAIN ANOTHER TIME....... LIKE MAYBE NEVER???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BYE
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[26 Jan 2004|09:31pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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Im back again.... i have to write my exams now, which im not looking foward to because i didnt study for them at all... lol, thats because i dont even have a binder, let alone any thing to study from haha. im going
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[22 Jan 2004|05:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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disappointed |
] |
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| OOooo...... |
[22 Jan 2004|05:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Evanescence - Hello |
] |
 | I have issues with... | sex
society
selflessness
shelter
extreme
| Take Word Association Test
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[22 Jan 2004|05:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
Ok im in town right now.... at the library... HAHAHAHA... me at a library...LOL. NO, seriously, im actually in a library. Still no school.... but my mommy is going to go pick up my exams on monday.... great... not :\ ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH. Well im going to get a smoke and then i'll be back in here to do my homework. :)
LATER GaToRs!!!!!!!!!
ps- im bored.... send me email...
cool_chix2000@hotmail.com
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| AT HOME.(Anyonmu coments are welcome if you donts have a journal on here, but please leave your name |
[21 Jan 2004|12:37pm] |
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mood |
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 thankful |
] |
So it appears that i will not be returning to school until sometime in febuary. But in the meantime i am going to get help too. I havent felt myself since... i cant remember. :( Yesterday was quite a day.... I never knew how much i really hurt inside until I was physically hurt. I appreciate the support from everyone who's helped me now. Thank you, and my mommy..... who is probably going to read this... Thank you. And Dad too. :) And my school.... ahhh.... what do i even say? What can I say? I DO know that at least one person from Gela WILL read this..... and thats ok, I know most of the other students dont care whether im alright or not..... but I will be ok, and im going to be back someday, and I'll be better :) Happier and feeling better. thats all........
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[18 Jan 2004|01:39pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
] |
AHHH, it's been a few days since i've updated. I just got home actually. Went out for breakfast with mommy and daddy. Also to get a safty/baby gate thingy..... and OMFG!!!!! We go there and they were all gone right?... but there was one that we had on layaway. but then we had to go all the way to welland to the other store just to get another one there. (cuz we need 2. one for each stairway.) and we get all the way there and there are NONE..... GAH!? so it was such a waste of a trip. DAMN i need 2 gates, i dont want the little sucker going down the stairs..... eek!
ANYWHO.....
Im going to do the rest of my homework after i finish here. then i have to clean the downstairs for mommy so that i can make some moulla. :) So I suppose thats all.... going to wash my hair now.... gone?
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[15 Jan 2004|11:39am] |
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Doing an english project on TATU........
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| Cause Everything That You Thought I Would Be, Has Fallen Apart Right In Front Of You. |
[14 Jan 2004|02:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Linkin Park - Numb |
] |
"Linkin Park - Numb"
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
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| HAHAHAHA..... |
[14 Jan 2004|09:41am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
The backspace key! You are happy in life and you
will be happy enough to help anyone at all and
the backspace key helps a lot of people by
correcting thier mistakes.
Thank's for taking my quiz!
Which key on the keyboard are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Upon My End Shall I Begin, Forsaking All I've Fallen For, I Rise To Meet My End... |
[14 Jan 2004|09:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Evanescence - Whisper |
] |
"Evanescence - Whisper"
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
[Chorus]
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die)
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
[Chorus]
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet my end
[Chorus]
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[13 Jan 2004|09:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 intimidated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Evanescense - My immortal |
] |
HAHAHAHAHA....
"Alicia?!"
"YESSSSS??"
"Give the phone a rest now"
"WHY?????!!!!"
"Cause You've been on it for like 4 hours!"
hahahaha.... i guess my mom prolly misses when i was still grounded. I talked to zac last night. we had a good talk. I feel much better now. but everythings still really confusing. He doesnt like the people that i hang out with and he doesnt like the things i like, he hates the music i listen to and he hates the way that i dress. ahhhhh...... i think i nag too much :( He doesnt like that either (but then again.... nobuddy likes someones who nag alot lol). He constantly accuses me of lying to him and thinks that i cheated on him.... which NO! I didnt. and it hurts to be accused of that. i dunno anymore........
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[12 Jan 2004|12:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Finch - Ender |
] |
Ok, today I am ungrounded, finally. It sucked, all my friends were getting pissed off because we had plans and then *BOOM* there it is.... im grounded again. (i stole my dad's truck, which by the way i am not proud of and am also considering deleting this entry after because, Mommy..... I know you are prolly going to read this.... lol and then i will consider myself to have an extended grounding.. bah.).
SO YEAH.....
I talked to matt (McKeag that is) today and we is getting together to visit soon, and i talked to all my friendz again. Woooo! happy ungrounding day LMFAO! i talked to zac and trevor too. im all excited cuz i gets to see them all again and it's going to be great. Yup yup. indeed. i miss them, especially cuz i wasnt around on christmas holidays. :( it really sucked. Zac came to see me at my school on thursday. it was a little wierd but we had a good talk though. It's going to be different now, its only 10 days into 2004 and already a lot has changed. Matt (Yemm) and i are no longer speaking to each other, which sounds childish but actually i have gotten over it but obviously he has not. Zac and i are at our differences now. I dont hang out with the people that i used to hang around with. Actually i kn=inda tried to get away from it all. cuz before i dropped out of school i hung around with people that now i try to avoid. and now im back in school though, but still it's hard cuz every time that i go uptown or whtever it's like they are always there. and they're all like asking me whats new and tryin' to get me to go somewhere and chill with them. I dont want to be mean either so i just be like "meh, not right now maybe later" and then i just brush it off like they no longer exist. and i guess that makes me an unfair person?
I THINK I"LL BLOW MY BRAINS AGAINST THE CEILING?
Ahh... I can here them in the other room talking 'bout me. :( The other students i mean. They talk about me like they know me. but they dont know anything about me at all. none of them have even attempted to make an effort towards me. Which is fine, cuz im not asking for much, just that they leave me alone and worry about themselves. It's all i hear anymore.... "oh alicia is ......" and "alicia did this...." and "alicia ........." WHY? i wish i knew what i've done wrong. it would be great if someone could explain to me why they all disapprove of me. I dont want to fit in... dont want their friendship.... dont want to be like them... but i just wish they'd forget about me like i am going to do about them. I don't think that i can handle muchmore of this and i can do anything about it. Maybe it's always gonna be like this..... i dunno anymore, die? thats all.
HMMMM.....
Last night i went to see kevin and shannon (my brother in law and my sister) and almost got stuck in the driveway..lmao. there is so much snow and it's sucks. thats all..... go away?
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