Sunday, October 12th, 2003
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7:12 pm - Nothing i do is right said the Rabbit It made the Turtle sad, and so he cried
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Ok so i try but it doesnt work. God damn it! At least alias is on tonight. I shall not think about it, i tried to make it better but im not any good for that i guess. This week is going to be great. Spirit day two days in a row, i get to go to Holloween Horror nights, I get to go to new york and see fall, and whatever else lovely might happen. I think on thursday we should bike at KT way and run on tuesday. Or somethign i dunno. But i feel pretty shitty right now. my mom said that what i said when we gave Ms B the flowers was self centered. i got pissy at her, told her id rather not hear that. But now i feel like im selfish. The whole worlds against me!
current mood:  calm
current music: Chicago!!!
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Saturday, October 11th, 2003
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4:35 pm - The steam machine smells
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Ok mom bought this steam thingy machine that is suppose to clean but only makes everything smell nasty. DAMN MADGE DE LESSAC! I would never plop a SAT out of the clear blue sky on her and say "Do a good job!" I hate SATs Grrrrr. And it sucked. just long and it was cold and i couldnt get comfy but i had more time so. That was good. And i came home and i slept, then i was called by sara, becca, and Jermey. Jermey cant go to the play tonight. I think he should find a way to get there hehe. I was half asleep when he called so all i caught was that there was a car problem. I kept having weird dreams. In one of them Parker was Logan's kid and Pam was upset about me being at their house, which didnt look like their house, and i was suppose to get married to Logan. Another one i think had Mrs. Reynolds in it. Very bizzare. This play is getting into my head. people getting married and crap. What else. Tonight should be fun. Im completly worn out. Ok moms been cleaning for the past two hours. Call it an obsession? I would think so. Ahh were gunna have to run again soon. im going to be soooooo tired
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Thursday, October 9th, 2003
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1:57 pm - MS HARRIS SUCKS!!!
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OOOHHH i cant stand math class. Its so annoying and more over it made becca get upset and now she isnt here in English which worries me cuz that isnt safe when someone is upset and alone. GRRRR. I wanted to go look for her too and mrs bessire wouldnt let me go look. Dante's inferno is ooo complicated. And im so not hungry right now i feel like ive eaten too much. i always feel like that after lunch. FATTY FAT FAT. Enead- obviously this is an actual word for a group of nine. Bizzare hmm? I love words they are sooooo spiff-o-licious! LOVE!
current mood:  crazy
current music: MARCO's VOICE-- and the "big chinese boy"
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Wednesday, October 8th, 2003
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9:12 pm - "I dont believe in Fear," said Faith, and both Heaven and Hell made earth
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"Dose me up once is not enough, i can still see that ground"
OMG the play is tomorrow!!! SOOOOOOOOO SPIFFY!!!! I cant wait, weve been doing awsome. Life is good. hehe. I still havent heard about the play at Mad Cow. Im soooo torn i just want to know so i know where fate is taking me. i know sooo silly. But what ever happens it means i get to do whatever play. And id liek to know which one that is going to be. Fallala. Must take a bath. Smell all good, look all pretty. SOOO happy
KISSES
current mood:  chipper
current music: Pink Elephant
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9:12 pm - "I dont believe in Fear," said Faith, and both Heaven and Hell made earth
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"Dose me up once is not enough, i can still see that ground"
OMG the play is tomorrow!!! SOOOOOOOOO SPIFFY!!!! I cant wait, weve been doing awsome. Life is good. hehe. I still havent heard about the play at Mad Cow. Im soooo torn i just want to know so i know where fate is taking me. i know sooo silly. But what ever happens it means i get to do whatever play. And id liek to know which one that is going to be. Fallala. Must take a bath. Smell all good, look all pretty. SOOO happy
KISSES
current mood: chipper
current music: Pink Elephant
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2003
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9:02 pm - Sleep little one and when you wake we shall fly away
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OMG i had the worse test ever in math today! And then i found out that i didnt do an english paper that was "due today," apparently i have until 5 tomorrow to email it in but doesnt matter because ive got rehersal till 7 and i ate the cookies Laura gave me at lunch which i didnt really want to eat and then Josh gave me comfort chex mix and nearly threw up in Economics from boredum and stress. and that math test was like ... HELL ON PAPER! The front part was fine and then i turned it over... i dont think i got any right. i didnt even know what to do. It pisses me off. cuz i needed that grade to be good. Sigh. And report cards are friday and i dunno how im going to save my Economics class. Cuz i dunno how im going to do well on that test on both thurs and fri, and thurs were suppose to have a partner but no one in that class wants to be my partner. Sooo poosh! I wish only one thing were wrong with me. It would be easier. And i dunno where my runnign shoes are which bothers me. i have to finish the program grrr. OH crap got to call you logan! Ok now i feel shitty cuz i called so late. Your mom probably hates me. Oey! With the monkeys again!
current mood: travisty o dignity&selfrespect
current music: Pink Elephant
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Monday, October 6th, 2003
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8:17 pm - Faaaaluka Queen of Burning Coffins or Lemon- aid only with a fuck
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[enter stupid comment here] Disclaimer: All good comments are courtesy of Carli Koch
"You are free to leave me just dont decieve me and please believe me when i say I LOVE YOU!"
"So i said why dont you and i get together, go strait on to heaven, cuz with out you they are never going to let me in"
"I feel like a love sick puppy chasing you around, every time i try to talk to you i get toung tied, everything i say just doesnt come out right"
"I hope you dont mind, i hope you dont mind that i put down in words, how wonderful life is, now your in the world ...you see ive forgotten these things i do, you see ive forgotten if their green or their blue, well what the things is, what i really mean, Your's are the sweetest eyes ive ever seen"
" All you need is love LOVE IS JUST A GAME, Just one night just one night, int he name of love, on night in the name of love YOU CRAZY FOOL I WONT GIVE INTO YOU dont leave me this way i cant survive without your sweet love oh baby dont leave me this way YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE WOULD HAVE ENOUGH OF SILLY LOVE SONGS LOVE MAKES US ACT LIKE WE ARE FOOLS THROW OUR LIVES AWAY FOR ONE HAPPY DAY YOU WILL BE MEAN no i wont we should be lovers and thats a fact THOUGH NOTHING WILL KEEP US TOGETHER we could steal time just for one day, JUST BECAUSE I IIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! IIIIIIIIIII CANT HELP LOVING ...YOU, HOW WONDERFUL LIFE IS NOW YOURE IN THE WORLD"
"Never knew i could feel like this like ive never seen the sky before, want to vanish inside your KISS every day i love you more and more, listen to my heart cant you hear it sing, telling me to give you everything, come what may, I will love you until my dying day. Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. Suddenly my life doesnt seem such a waste, IT ALL REVOLVES AROUND YOU! Sing out this song and ill be there by your side."
Carli and Sara and I were talking today about hell. Apparently if i went to Dante's hell i would be in a burning coffin just waiting for judgement day when they will close me in the coffin for good. Unless im a good little burnign soul and then they might put me in a better level of hell. Me a heritic.
Plus, my mommy just bought air freshing stuff that i think smells worse than the oddor shes trying to cover. I NEED TO KNOW IF I GOT THE PART IN THE PLAY!! i want it soooo bad. Grrr. And colte is being such an ass about the dues for NHS grrr hes such a shit sometimes. But i love him. Ya know whos cute, more over sweet Duffy i had no idea he was nice, he said hes going to see Sabrina Fair which i think is so spiffy. No one sold tickets durning lunch, makes me sad. Im tired, but im not going to let myself feel shitty because while i am an evil devil and i deserve to be in atleast the first circle of hell, there just isnt a point to say anymore how awful i feel. Im making people so upset, and people are crying, and getting fusterated. It proably be better for everyone if i wasnt in the musical. Sigh.
current mood:  depressed
current music: Ben Folds Five/ Moulin Rouge/ Vertical Horizon/ Carli
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Saturday, October 4th, 2003
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6:41 pm
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Friday, October 3rd, 2003
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7:46 pm - Ta mere est Michael Jackson Said the Rabbit and They were happy
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I am happy and sad at the same time. How did you accomplish that chelsea? I dont know! I must be special. Im doing nothing on this friday night which partly makes me happy and partly makes me sad. I have homework to do but i dont want to do it. i want to go see carlos. Sigh. I dunno if i should though. The rents went to a concert goodie for them. I dunno. Me stupid. Anywho im downloading Harder to Breath which is making me happy because it has been stuck inside my head aaaaaaaallllllll day! In fact i got it in carli's head hehe. Me looooveee life. Me love in general. Interesting convo in english we talked about religion. And apparently some christians believe that you have a selfish love if you dont believe in jesus because all love is through jesus and if you dont believe in him you cant have real love. I think thats sillyness. I dont think im Christian. But then people say well the singual belief of christianity is that you believe Jesus died for your sins on the cross. I dunno how i feel about that one. My poor soul. i wonder what circle of hell i will go to. Dante's inferno is really bringin me down no wonder the people during the renissance were so afraid!
current mood:  contemplative
current music: John Mayer "Georgia"
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Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
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10:11 pm - The Rabbit killed the Carrot and it was BLOODY
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Chelsea Who ya going to homecoming with.... chelsea got a date to homecoming? Well im going with so and so. I want to go wtih so and so.... Grrrr, no i dont have a fucking date to homecoming because noone ever asks me! And when they decide to i will happily say yes. And having a friend tell you that they want you to go with their friend doesnt count! Stupid. Grr. Its ok i like going solo, except for the lack of a partner for the one slow dance. Stupid LHPS Djs. ok getting totally off the subject because im feeling sorry for me, aint it great? I should stop doing that it pisses people off. and noone cares anywho, cuz weve all got our own problems. Mommy found my economics paper with the 65. She found it while she went through my room, which means my mom was searching through my room, but i didnt bother to bring up that point. It made her pissy all the same, but go figure i walk into her room and shes sitting watching extreem makeover, knitting, and in good humor. Ahhh how the world works. Ive decided im going to bed because i got plenty of work done and i havent been able to sleep in a while. Plus i feel pretty shitty about Logan having to watch my mother and i bitch at eachother because i know how other people being sad makes him sad. Its starting to rub off on me which doesnt work with my hard ass personality. I wish when my mom told me to do my work i just said "yes mam thankyou" like he does but no, im a hard ass and have to argue that she knows nothting about what i do all day. How hard i work on everything else. how i have a script to memorize and 3 tests to study for and SAT next saturday. That i have no time to worry about piddly little homework assignments. Serenity Now!! ha. It will all be well. I have love, do i need much more?
current mood:  crappy
current music: the sound of my pounding head
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Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
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7:40 pm - Stop! In the name of LOVE!
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IM SOOOO GOOOD! I got $108 in Peanut sales for Messiah!! I rock the world. I need more though, moer money, moremoremore. hehe Youre obsessed. Yes this is true. GOod GoOd. HEHE Ok so i suck, im so busy it is just silly and i hate it cuz it brings me down when i should be happy though on the other hand i was getting sort of tired of being happy all the time too so maybe it is good. We are suppose to run tomorrow, oh thats good chels just break yourself more, go ahead you were only missing a foot and a rolly eyeball before keep going! AAHH the comfort of mac and cheese
current mood:  drained
current music: Parlay Vou Le Fransay?
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Tuesday, September 30th, 2003
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8:25 pm
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Ok totaly wierd, Logan came and sat with us today (goodie!) and carli moved away. Totally bizzar. Though sara is all over Chris its so funny! HAHA. OMG ive got so much to do. I have to make the program for Drama, actually do homework, read, study lines.... on and on and on. Today was busy, stupid assembly. i hat to get the posters from Kinkos. Dress parade (damn ugly hats i have to wear again... ok i lie not ugly but not easy to wear), Ive got to let my butterflies go they keep escaping. Sunday is just going to be a bundle of fun, dress tech all day and then rush to the call back. Sigh. And tomorrow is only wednessday, DAMN MADGE DE LESSAC I shall blame her for everything. I just finished with everything just now and its 8:30. I had monologue practice at 7. its going to be stupendous. I feel icky, i dont think Nina or Carli like me right now, it can never be well. The whole world is against me! HAHA well ok its not but aside from being tired, things are good.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Id like to know what quixotic means
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Monday, September 29th, 2003
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11:50 pm
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OMMMMMGGGGG Mike and Valena and David are going to go to Sabrina Fair!!!!! Im sooooooo excited! OMG OMG OMG! hehe im spazing! Im soooo happy! I miss them like i miss ummm cookiedough! GIGGLES!!
current mood:  excited
current music: HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY
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8:50 pm - Little Bunnty FOO FOO Hoppin through the forest ...
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"Lose weight fast! --- as seen in the National Enquireer" Now is that really a reliable source of information? Hmmm? I think not! I love Lora, shes my new fav person. Shes so sweet. Ahh to be loved. Alias rocked my world. im so excited about it. What will i do in college? Ill have to take the tv room hostage. HEHE. No one may enter or leave! Sigh, my computer is retarded. No offense to all the retarded people out there. Its so awful how american language is mean to all these like disabled or "different" people. Ok i have a ridiculous amount of work to do, so i shall do it. Much love!
current mood:  awake
current music: I dream of Jeannie
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Sunday, September 28th, 2003
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10:47 pm - "and shes feelin more alone than she ever has before"
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I dont know why im saying that cuz ive had the most spiffy weekend! I saw all my fencing friends, i spend the most amazing time with lora and logan, it was like a blast an 1000/2000 hehe basically 1/2 but i cant say that its tooooooo normal, and that just aint me! =0) I cant wait till next weekend cuz we are deffinatly renting the Robbin Williams thing cuz it is the funniest thing alive. On side note: Poor carli seemed sooo not into it. Made me sad. "Cuz i dont know how, I dont know where We Are We Are" i love that song. Life is spectacular! Ive got soooo much to do though. Read Dante, Memorize script, Memorize monologue, Finish application, Be stupid. its just so much HEHE. Ive got to find a good place for my joe's Pizza sticker excuse me lable. ALIAS ROCKS. it was so spiffy. They surprise me around every corner, its so fusterating though cuz she like doesnt know whats going on which means we dont know whats going on. MY kitty is so cute. hes licking himself, much better than my icky dog. im sick of hehe, we need a new word. Qawinkidink!
current mood: bouncy
current music: The Remedy-- but amy lives on in my head
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Saturday, September 27th, 2003
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3:19 pm - TOAD the Frog ate Bunny the Rabit and they had fun
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Spiffy day! I got to run, me burn those calories. Got to eat. me burn calories back! hehe. "Shes alone, and im alone, and now i know it. Shes a brick and im drowin slowly, of the coast and im headed no where." I lOVE THAT SONG! it makes me super happy even if it is about abortion. Must do math, must do application, and most of all i must learn my script im going to die!
current mood: pleased
current music: Brick - Ben Folds Five
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Friday, September 26th, 2003
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11:27 pm
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I cant do anything right! I try so hard to help and im really only making it worse. Im soo angry with myself why cant i just have no emotion?
Oh wait im starting to feel sorry for myself, i cant do that right either.
Serenity Now!
current mood:  pissed off
current music: Amy Steinberg in my head
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11:27 pm
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I cant do anything right! I try so hard to help and im really only making it worse. Im soo angry with myself why cant i just have no emotion?
Oh wait im starting to feel sorry for myself, i cant do that right either.
Serenity Now!
current mood: pissed off
current music: Amy Steinberg in my head
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11:25 pm
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I cant do anything right! I try so hard to help and im really only making it worse. Im soo angry with myself why cant i just have no emotion?
Oh wait im starting to feel sorry for myself, i cant do that right either.
Serenity Now!
current mood: pissed off
current music: Amy Steinberg in my head
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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9:00 pm
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Have you ever found out about something that happened a long time ago that you didnt know was going on and if you had known then you could have made it better. But you didnt know so instead, you hurt someone without knowning it. "It was then that I knew that I did not deserve her, she and I were not meant for this world, yet while she belonged amongst the stars in heaven, I was of the under-earth, of hate, of hell." amazing i had no idea, makes me feel loved and sad at the same time.
current mood: happy
current music: logan's voice
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