[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Friday, November 26th, 2004|
same old shit
today went pretty good i guess, i wen tto work really early. i hate black friday people are insane. its as though they never had any manors or any kind of trainin how to act in public. they go wild over sales. lol. yesterday was turkey day and i didnt do anything for it with my family. my mom had to work from 2-11, my dad was hom ebut didnt wanna cook, and my two brothers were home but they didnt wanna do anythign either. so i went out to the diner wit one of my friends. its the same as last yr except i was at home. sometimes when i am trying to go to sleep i think of the things that i would change about my life, like if i had one wish what would it be and how much better things would be. i wouldnt ask for money cuz thats y we work, i wouldnt ask to be prettier or thinner cuz i am fine with how i feel about myself, i wouldnt ask to be famous or anythign liek that. deep in my heart i honestly believe that i would wish to hav a decent family who respects one another. i think thats all ive ever wanted in life.
|Wednesday, November 24th, 2004|
hey wuz up well its been awhile since ive been on here. my ex bf and i are finally over with, which i am a little upset about cuz i was with him for so long 3 yrs is a long time. but i am in a relationship now with someone who is sweet and nice. he is 21 and works for construction, blonde hair blue eyes. he is like perfect i guess u can say. i miss my ex but hey ill live right, besides i have someoen else to worry about now. its just when ur with soemone for so long ur used to them and ur used to seeing them all the time. well i will keep this up to date now and tell everyone how things are going. if anyone has any advise on how to get me to get over my ex or has been in this situationm plz share it with me. thanks bye.
|Saturday, September 11th, 2004|
i finally left him
today i finally left him, i got strength somehow and got away. the only problem i have is styaing away, that migh tbe hard just like all the other times. i was with him for 3 years and everytime we broke up i went crawling back to him. for some reason i knwo this time is different i know that i am better then him and i will only hurt myself in the end if i was to stay wit him. now i have to find a way to make my self esteem and everythign go back to how it was before i met him. since i been with him i gained 10 pounds and i feel ugly. i let myself go and did it all because he made me. to him i was nothing. just another person walkin on this earth that meant absolutely nothing. i wasted my life, my love, my soul, my tears, my pain on someoen that wasnt worth it at all. i thoguht he was my soulmate, my future, my best friend. i guess thats what i get for falling for someone witht he past history of being rude and disrespectful towards his ex's. i was in the wrong for letting it go on for so long. bad thing is si that i'll miss his family more then anything in the world. his youngest sister wont even remember me when she is older, ill be nothing but a person she forgot about. his family treated me with such hospitality is was nice to have people there for me. they helped me out more then my parents ddi the feeling was nice real nice. i just dont want them to forget about me, they made an impact on my life forever, i never met a family so generous and loving towards each other ever in my time. see thats ashame when i dont miss him i just miss his family. enough said. goodbye for now.
|Friday, September 3rd, 2004|
cant take no more
hey today was not so bad compared to the other days were i thought he would hurt me badly. see i am dating this guy, i have been with him for almost 3 yrs now. He doesnt let me do anything, doesnt even let me have friends. it seems as though i have no one at all, im all alone. when i do something wrong he pinches me hard, pushes me off my bed an sometimes makes me sleep on "my" floor. i cant even talk to my best friend anymore. i have no life i am alone and lonely. sometimes i feel as though i dont have the strength to wake up most mornings. im just not in love with him no more. how can i love someone who doesnt love me and treat me this way? i have to leave him soon.......
cant take no more
hey today was not so bad compared to the other days were i thought he would hurt me badly. see i am dating this guy, i have been with him for almost 3 yrs now. He doesnt let me do anything, doesnt even let me have friends. it seems as though i have no one at all, im all alone. when i do something wrong he pinches me hard, pushes me off my bed an sometimes makes me sleep on "my" floor. i cant even talk to my best friend anymore. i have no life i am alone and lonely. sometimes i feel as though i dont have the strength to wake up most mornings. im just not in love with im no more. how can i love someoen who doesnt love me and treat me this way? i h ave to leave him soon.......