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Blurty for leidenschaft.
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| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 |
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abit about the lil' imp.. -is really quite lazy if she can afford it. -doesn't bother with anything unless its motivation somehow benefits the larger community.. theres no point doing things for myself. explains unkept look that can be quite vogue these days. -pursues with passion and only passion -music, art and love is her life. -thinks food is more impt than money.. -would like to show the world why... but can't get off her ass to do that now. -digs classical indian/chinese and sometimes orchestral chamber music -billie holiday and sheila chandra and alanis morissette grants me serenity -loves to chat and learn about people's life.. their family, their infections, inspirations and what they did in desperate situations. -cannot deal with conversations that insults.... -trying hard not to be cheem (thinks she is succeeding extremely well in that department) :D |
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| Friday, November 13th, 2009 |
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I fall asleep at night Thinking you’d be there tomorrow And I’ll Kiss you Like I kissed you for the first time When I awake I’ll find you Waiting by my driveway Smiling, and singing Songs that make me cry now So tell, tell me Do u mean what u say Cuz I’m tired, I’m tired of the games we play Baby baby Do u know If this means Goodbye Here we go again And it feels like falling And I’m wondering where I stand Before you go again I’m gonna say it loud I don’t need you now With your life as such Sometimes u don’t even know How the snow Can make me smile so much Then you turn around and say That it would be okay But your empty words Mean nothing to me, nothing to me now 
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| Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 |
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I would like to improve my cantonese, malay and hokkien. oh yea and my mandarin. i'm not asking too much, just enough to have a meaningful conversation in cantonese, mandarin and malay.. ..and just to give directions in hokkien. and maybe hakka one day. I feel sorry for not learning my mother's actual mother tongue. I feel even more sorry that she thinks its not important. ...... |
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| Sunday, November 8th, 2009 |
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i say quite little, talk slowly and have long pauses because if i don't.. my words won't make sense. too much thoughts i have to filter out before speaking in clear sentences what is important and ultimate. that is also why i need to prepare before hand whenever i approach a presentation or a question. otherwise... chaos and embarrasment. does that happen to you? this is specific to new topics or complex issues.. but so many things in my mind is complex. Janet my lecturer told me this story when I was in China with her.. ...in heaven this man passed by the ministry of speech, whose signboard was almost covered by the mountain of what seemed to be shards of alphabets. Curious, he went in and walked up to two angels out of the many who were sweeping the floor that was covered in plates of words. He asked the two angels, "hey what is this that you are sweeping?" One of the angels answered, "oh these are words that are used everyday. Once spoken their life is used and they end up here in heaven just like you.." "ahh.." enlightened, the man nodded and bent down to pick up one of the words. "CAREFUL!", one of the angels shouted. "Don't!", the other one followed. The man quickly released what he was about to pick up. The angel then said, "You don't want to touch them! Most of these words used are very sharp and can cut you.. deep." |
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| Monday, November 2nd, 2009 |
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i know kelly will think this is directed at her but its not.. i've been keeping this in for a while now... I think obama too might have the same sentiments. get over obamaism already.. he's a good guy with good ideas, morals and ethics or at least thats what we know of him.. but can we move on? as if keeping my unpopular thoughts to myself isn't bad enough, then he wins the nobel prize?! also can... i'm not complaining i'm just saying can we get over him already.. there is just something quite salah about hanging on to one person's every word, every thing that revolves around him, analysing his family structure and dynamics, his choice in dogs and education... every speech and every event that helps fight for 'human rights'.. cukup tak? i'm getting quite meluat. not with obama.. but you know... ------------------------- oh yea. and malaysian singers damn hot and originaaaaaaal.. |
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| Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 |
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90/100 for my essay on contemporary asian art.... yay happy dance. and the fastest essay ever. one week of writing and 2 weeks of reading. this is with year end art sch madness, dragon dreaming, news of grandpa's death and post-china effects... i went into lecture late and the lecturer/chai greeted me with a big hello and the whole theatre followed with greetings too... then he said, "oh we were just talking about you" pointing to the whiteboard.. that had "Derrida" and "Law of Genre" on it.. i went pale and blurted out, "Oh shit!" (i had 2 nightmares that i failed and one had a scene similar to this).. the class roared with laughter and i thought my essay must have been used as an example to the class what ought not to be done.... but apparently it was the opposite. i got back my paper and to my amazement.. not only did i pass i got the highest in class. so he was pretty happy about the parellels i drew between the french philosopher and my writings. and they class laughing was a good kinda laughing.. he later on talked about 'madness' and told the class that it is good to be mad. he described mad writing that was exactly how i had written my piece.. and he asked me then if madness was good and to testify to the class that it is.. so.. yea i think if obsessiveness is madness.. if risk is madness.. if not caring to lose everything you have is madness.. then it is a good thing because that could mean a great amount of gain at the end... even if you don't find your sanity. |
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| you don't have to sing me songs of patriotism or nostalgic folk every august or put a 6yr bond on me when i choose to pursue an education outside your shores or put red tape across my mouth and around my hands.. i will still want to and choose to return.. but not because of your amazing way of turning my parents' retirement funds into your investment piggy bank neither is it cus of your beautiful palm tree paved highways nor does the rat race that the rest of the 4 mil over are running in entice me.. but because i believe there is something special about home and you don't have to keep shouting out that you are 'unique'.. i already know it. | ||
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| Saturday, October 17th, 2009 |
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no one will be allowed to use it to feel sorry for themselves no one will be allowed to take the blame no one will be allowed to be angry its neither to be a celebration nor a mourning of any kind it just is. |
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| Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 |
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theres nothing like seeing an adult much older than you crumbling and being the only one there to hold their hand literally. all of a sudden you are pushed 30years or more into maturity. holding grandma's hands when she passed out from crying at the wake is quite different from giving your dad a pep talk and telling him its all gonna be ok.. just push on. you don't have to go through this alone. |
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| Thursday, October 8th, 2009 |
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stop with the sharksfin already.. how would you like your nails to be ripped off your fingers while you are left to bleed in pain.. jeezus.. ignorance is not bliss. ignorance is intellectual laziness. my maths teachers used to say, "Michelle you are not stupid. You are just lazy." to which i often reply, "I must be pretty stupid to know this and still be lazy." and then i go off to the loo for half an hour just in time for class to end. |
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| Thursday, October 1st, 2009 |
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its that time of the year again... people dying everywhere. well.. mostly just in the 3rd world. :/ Dear God, is this population control? x Surely your guns are pointed in the wrong direction. West not East. Hitler made the same mistake, not you too? |
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| Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 |
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Things I do in the morning... draw on my belly the things in my dreams  And drawing on my friend's bellies.. :D |
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| Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 |
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| I am ready to go home now. Liz, Na, Shujia, Jerome.. come pick me up. lets go for supper. Tulang, prata and teh tarik.. then a game of chess while we let the 2nd teh sit and cool. | ||
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| Sunday, September 27th, 2009 |
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Judy read my chart... and found out that both my star and planets are in Leo. Which is rare but she says its good. That my exterior and interior are consistent. What I show others and what I am. So i have the Leo sign and the Leo ascendant... and reading these things can be so addictive. I remember a sermon once about horoscopes and how we shouldn't believe em.. but that at the same time, the star signs were the story of the bible?! I think the pastor made it up.. lol but basically that the story started with the Virgin and the baby which is september and the story ended with the Lion in august. The pastor convinced us that the birth of Jesus was actually in september. something about the weather in Bethlehem not possibly being as stated in the bible if it were in december.. ok.. readings. stop procrastinating michelle. |
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| Stephen Sackur of BBC's Hardtalk sucks balls. blegh. | ||
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| Saturday, September 26th, 2009 |
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home is... not where i have to feel any hint of discrimination. not worry about having a different accent. not where I have to know my place as a second class citizen. home is Singapore. home is humid. but warm. :) |
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Reality is... updating portfolio for scholarships updating portfolio for residencies doing essays planning 5 weeks in advance for kiln space. I like the chinese proverb Kelly taught me, “弱水三千，只取一瓢.” (while the water is three thousand mile long, one ladle of it is all I want.) While there may be fourteen kilns, one is all i need. |
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| Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 |
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        "It has been the risk-takers, the doers, the Makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom." Barack Obama, Inaugural Speech 1/2009 I'm glad I got to see the real China.. not the touristy cut throat consumerist cities such as Shanghai or Shenzhen(i'm sure there is truth to the tales my friends have told me).. but going to a real part of china with real people.. who although acknowledge their country has become capitalist, in essence though they practice socialism and are proud of their people.. every single one that makes up for the billions in that country. For some amazing reason their vision is one with great foresight. When I chatted with random people on the streets as I do.. Telling them how amazing it is for me to see such beautiful and good hearted people in Shandong.. as i've never seen such characters before.. they quite plainly reply, " Isn't it natural to be nice to someone who is nice to you? This is how we operate." How does a "priviledged" society such as those i've seen then change into one that builds characters with insecurity, pride, ego and discrimination? I don't really care for such societies. Although what I do want to know is how to maintain and start growing beautiful souls such as those i've met in Shandong. Rich or poor.. their hearts remain the same, big. It is hard for me to express the feelings/emotions and thoughts. So maybe if i give you the facts, you can come to your own conclusion? 1.The factory workers... Earning RMB$1000 Yuan a month.. thats about $200 singapore dollars. 2. Most of them start at the age of 17 or 18. 3. Most of them have studied Ceramics in an institution, under a master or in a Ceramics/Material University. 4. Most of them are married by 25. 5. They usually only have one child. 6. To make a simple mug takes up to at least 10 to 20 processes. 7. In each process, the product could be handled by at least 2 or 3 different people, giving the product the attention is requires. In other words, 2 to 3 steps within 1 process. 8. In whatever they are specialised in, some of them have worked in that area for about 40 years. 9. In each process, lies a department. Each department operates like a family. Everyone goes by either sister, brother or master followed by their surname. 10. They share lunches. They shop for tea after work. Some who don't smoke take breaks, going to the roof top for fresh air or to wander about.. even if just for 5 minutes. It refreshes them. 11. There isn't higher regard placed on those who that sit in the airconditioned office oppose to those who work under a spot lamp doing (an otherwise seen by us as) monotonous tasks of repeated actions. 12. The bosses of the company, the people in the airconditioned offices, the people selling fruits and dumplings in the market, the bus driver, the school teachers and the lady who pours tea in the hotel restaurant... they all know that without these factory works, China would not be able to get to where she is now. They are respected. Wages could be better. But for now... as an outsider I am content to see that at least they are getting respect. Things can be better and it will in time. The foundation is set for greater things. Do you see the joy I am swimming in, having returned from a place of heaven where craft is honoured? It is gonna take more than a week for me to get over this high. I never want to forget this experience and lessons learnt.       Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men. Proverbs 22.29 |
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| Monday, September 21st, 2009 |
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Dear Tony and Sheila, Just so you are prepared.. Your daughter is actually really into her art, and it might possibly be the only thing that would keep her sane. Hence it is more likely than not that she will be moving around the globe to any place that would be accepting of her, her art and her will to push on. In such an event, it is unlikely that she will be getting paid very much.. and will probably be unable to live up the "Singapore" dream.. a dream she doesn't even get. BUT. Fret not, in her circle of work.. and anywhere in the world that she goes, she will be taken care of, put up and looked after. The Ceramics world as we are discovering is one that is big and open hearted, and she has faith that even if her country doesn't care for her, the rest of the world will. Yours Sincerely. |
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| Sunday, September 20th, 2009 |
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 Back from China. It has been a bloody amazing trip. The experience was ... kinda like Earth Consumed my exhibition. Surreal. So many moments where I couldn't believe who I was surrounded by and what was going on. When Takeshi, Carol or Janet sat next to me.. and gave me direct advice.. my hair stood on ends. Why that is so special is because.. usually words of such wisdom seldom depart the lips of the wise in sucha manner. Often an obscure sentence is said and left for us to ponder for years and years until we stumble and hit the ground so hard.. then we realise.."ohhhhh! so thats what she meant..." But there was no hesitation with giving of any sort... Whether it was on relationships, art, techiques, philosophy or just bargaining tips.. heh.. we shared as if here was pool of never ending knowledge and love. The 9 of us, we were a strange mix, but we brewed well together. It wouldn't be the same without any of us left out. Australia - Janet who usually makes the decision and chairs the meetings.. who is also the organizer was often telling us stories, some i've heard before.. but didn't mind listening to them again because I always felt comfort in her company. Canada - Paul who in his bright orange pants seems often serious and stoic until he opens his mouth. China - Yanze, who is THE only one who would dare tell Janet what to do. LOL Japan - Takeshi .. cheeky guy but really a genius. Clever boy Janet calls him. I enjoyed his stories.. and could listen to them for days.. It was like listening to history with a japanese accent. charming. Latvia - Ilona, who is practically twice my size was mostly my play partner. We would giggle like kids as kicked around in a game or played with soft toys given to us by friends. London - Carol.. nevermind how famous she is. Her british humour just rocked my socks off! especially when we were in taxis.. I think her humour arises to combat the fear the taxi drivers put in us.. New Zealand - Chris.. Although he is the quietest among us, his works stood out the most because in its simplicity, the forms and language commanded attention. Always observing and sensitive. He assures me that I don't have to be loud and obnoxious to get things done. Thailand - Vipoo was the sweetest one in the gang. Ah... my partner in crime. Even if he and Carol are sole/soul mates.. he was still my favourite.. he was always so sweet. Giving everyone gifts before he left and extremely senstive to everyone's feelings.  Takeshi says I am a good shepard, because I had to keep herding the pack of 8 artists and leading them to the right place.. Often it is Janet who is the last because she finds something interesting to take a photo of and thinks she is local enough to deal with being left stranded. Ilona is the other one who is often late because she would be on skype talking to her new boyfriend.. :D And Paul is the other one who would be deliberately lost just because he can and he is also quite easy to spot. I told Janet, in the 2 years of teaching ITE students, I've never have had sucha hard time herding people as I did with the 8 of them. And more often than not, once I find one, I lose the other.. usually to a gallery owner trying to bargain a piece of art. ...I have a presentation to finish. so i'll end here. And continue with my love for the local people of Shandong another day. :) |
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Blurty for leidenschaft.
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nostalgic.
hopeful.