The llama's are staring again...

1:38pm: i'm moving to eureka
:)

10:23pm: Grrr
roommates suck

10:41pm: Our landlord died last night.
It was a head-on collision, he died instantly, it's strange because we just saw him yesterday.

His sisters are taking over the estate.

Huh.

3:55am: y halo old journal...:D
I forgotted about you.

I still live with Eric and Al and all the random women Al brings home.

(I'd be jealous of him, but none of the girls he brings home are my type...or, you know. Hot.) :p

We have two kittens, Meatwad and Jesus

And I am an lazy unemployed harlot.

And it's great.

Ohyeah, and I've become a prostitute.






...LOLLERCOPTER JAY KAY. OH EM GEE, JAY KAY.




The internet has ruined me. D:

5:22pm: ZOMG.
Candy.

12:06am: I masurbate to Allen Ginsberg
And sleep to the sounds of gay sex.


Yeah.

I'm hardcore.

There are people in my house.

And they won't leave.

Woe.

Woe.

I see you flying, damn, you look good.
I wish I could fly like you.

But I don't have the drugs.

8:03pm: Haha.
I fail at life.


And at shoe-buying.

But not a roommate-having. Hi Alfred, :D
Fuck me.

I want to eat someones face.

4:55pm: Notes on the weekend:
1. Xtasy is awesome.

2. Anal sex isn't so bad,

3. Threesomes are better than I remembered.

4. Why does my ear hurt?

-L

7:58pm: I suck.
Like a vacuum cleaner.

DUN DUN DUN!


Anyway, I went up to Eureka last night with that boy I live with, we found Chris, went to a party.
Such is my life.
Now I'm up at Madisons, molesting her laptop.

Because it's a fucking sexy laptop.

Those light-up keys really do it for me. Ooo baby.

By the way, it's 600 degrees and I don't agree with it.
-L

1:47pm: I miss having internet access.
Is there anyway that I can somehow mug people for internet access?

.....No?
Well....fuck.

SAD EMOTICON TO EXPRESS MY ANGST!


T_T


(...See, it's crying. Wah. Wah).

It's about this time that I type; "The world is boring."
and go off to find the nun porn. (The best kind of porn)

HOT NUN-ON-NUN ACTION!

-L

7:34pm: Dude.
It's my friday.
I'm working five days a week again.

(HURRAH.)

I have cable.
I get to drink all the free coffee I want at my work.
I can't stop twitching.

Tad gave me the new gorillaz CD 'Cause he's that awesome.
I got all my hair cut off. And thats awesome too. Somebody tipped me 15 dollars today. Continuing to be awesome.
Doodeedoo.

Curses! I left a whole thing of donuts at Corey and Madisons!
Bastards. Hijacking my donuts.
I should call them anyway.

-L

5:30pm: ...Eric working and being gone all the time, and me not working and staying home all the time
Is. Not. Working.

I'm going to go insane.
Dude, not working, sucks,

If someone had said that to me while I was still working a five-day job I would have laughed. And then hit them with something. Possibly something that was very blunt, and filled with very pointy nails.

But it's true. Not working, sucks.
I have a billion pounds of free time and nothing to fill it with. At least if Eric was around we could hang out, but he's off making lotsa dah moneys, and I'm stuck, at home. With Jesus. Who, unfortunately, is not that savior guy, because if Jesus was actually that savior guy, I wouldn't be here typing this right now, I'd be off with him somewhere, getting drunk on his water-to-wine trick.

The idleness, it consumes.
Also, I'm still slightly high from when I got really stoned and watched the simpsons.
Hurrah. I'm bored.
Eric came home last night and we went to breakfast this morning, at eightish. Which means that I've been up since 7:30 in the morning, and I got to bed at 3am and I don't know h-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz.

-L

6:54pm: Hay everyone! I'm a poet, lawlz.
Penis Envy

I’ve got a strap-on,
it’s not as good as a hard-on


I’m jealous of you boys
and your perfect erections


I wish I could have one
but I’m stuck with this


cunt.
When I get older,



when I’m a big girl,
will you let me have one,


can I have your cock?
Will you let me rape you,


take you
control you?



I can easily dominate you

in the body of a girl



but it would be so much more fun
to cum on your face.

*********************************

I'm far too cool. :p
-L

3:29pm: WOOSHA! SURPRISE BLOWJOB!
...Don't bother asking.

I had a weird dream. About the ocean, and people, and spies, and seagulls. And possibly lions.
I was very odd. And I wish I could remember more of it.

And I'm getting really tired of peeing all the time.

I mean, I know that's what happens when you have to drink two quarts of water a day,
but still. It gets old.

Edited to add: OH DEAR LORD THE PAIN THERE IS NO GOD I WANT TO DIE

Things are passing. And I hate them.
Pissing blood was never a fun pastime.
-L

2:47pm: AGH AGH
Not cool. NOT COOL
Fucking kidneys.
Fucking kidney stones,
fucking peeing.

I've been peeing all day. All I do is pee.
It's not as entertaining as one might be lead to believe, especially with the addition of pain.

Paaain PAAAAIIIN

I hate you, kidneys.
I hate you.

So today I must stop peeing for a second, and go over to the Garden of Beadin' for el jobby job inverview.
Since Ang works there she's going to say nice things about me, which should be good,

I haaate Treats.
Tiz dee eeevel.
In other news, everyone's houses are overrun with carpenter ants. Including mine.
And it sucks. Because while I can and will take a punch to the face, jump off a very high bridge into questionable water, eat things that should not be eaten, and set fire to my own sleeve, I will not, and can not,
kill an ant.

Because I'm a pussy when it comes to that.
They crunch.
Eeewewerhuifdhg. *Shudder*
-L

12:49pm: I hate being a girl.
To reiterate: I hate being a girl.
Why, why, why can't I be a guy? I wouldn't have to deal with cramps, or evil bleeding, or insane mood swings,
All I'd have to deal with is the occasional unforeseen erection.

And from what Angela-who was reading over my shoulder-just said, itchy balls.
I could handle that.

I miss being seven. Being seven rocked. It was all candy and comfortable clothes.

There are a whole list of rules for treats. No low-cut shirts, no shorts, no sandals, no sleeveless shirts....c'mon! I want to dress like a ho so I get better tips! Dammit!

This job isn't going to last long, I can already tell, I'll use it for the time being, but I need to find something else soon.
Blech.

Internal squishy organs go: Squeeeeeeeeeeesplooogh.

Hate. Being. Female.

....Except for the breasts.
Having the breasts is fun.

Maybe I could be a fat man. Then I'd have the unforeseen erections AND the man-boobies!
That'd be awesome.
-L

1:17pm: Jesus Kitty
So I start training for my job at my Treats today at 3,
should be interesting,

It's seasonal, and I haven't discussed my days and hours with Michelle yet, so I'm not sure if I should get another job as well,

I may just end up waitressing at The Mateel Cafe.

I figure I'll follow Terra's example and work six jobs. Heh.

Last night...so high.
Wandering around in the woods with Jen.
We smoked. And then ate brownie, and then I went home and smoked more with Eric.
Needless to say, I went to sleep.

Oh, and as far as the Jesus kitten goes, Eric thinks it's genius idea.
It shall possibly be known as "Squishy Jesus" on occasion.

-L

4:52pm: We're going to get a kitten.
And I want to name it Jesus. (Not Hay-sues-well maybe sometimes-but Gee-sus)
I have yet to talk to Eric about this, so we'll see how it goes.

Don't ask me why, I just want to yell "Jesus! Jesus, stop humping that other cat, Jesus!" from my porch.

-L

2:51pm: I've had three hours sleep.
NPK is good.

I can't remember my name.
Where am I? Why am I typing.
Sex bomb sex bomb you're a sex bomb

....huh?
Oh.
I have a sandwich. And a crunchy peach.
.....crunchy peach?

Hey theres a chihuahua in this mutherfucker

I want to sleep.

-L

1:40pm: So...
Tad, Nessa, Quinton, Joyce, Angela, Raven, Eric and I all went to eureka yesterday, it was a nice family excursion, we went in two cars, with Ang, her son Raven, Eric and I in one car, and Joyce, Tad, Nessa, and Quinton in the other,

Eric and Angela truly act like brother and sister, even though they're just in-laws, I got called Auntie. And it was strange but cool, Eric, naturally is Uncle, but he's used to it, Raven's been calling him that for years, Auntie was new for me.

We went and got a snare drum for Eric, then went to the mall, where individually I hung out with Ang, Tad, and of course Eric,
(Ness gets on my nerves, too mother-y). Then we went to dinner at the Marina Cafe, which was awesome, Ang and I sat across form on another and made silly jokes about everyone until Ness yelled at us to stop giggling and eat our salad.
Then Tad, Eric and I took a walk around the harbor,

It was fun, and very family-feeling. Which is to be expected, I suppose, as they are Eric's family.
It was warm and fuzzily.

Time to eat a banana.
-L

1:01pm: Oh, and another thing
I'm wearing a skirt.

And I haven't shaved my legs in weeks.

Because yes, I'm just THAT cool.
(or lazy, whichever you prefer).

-L

12:45pm: AGH THE SHOES! THEY MAIM! AGH MY FEEEEET.
.
.
.
.
sigh.
That's what I get for being in a hurry this morning and not remembering the horror that are these shoes.


Ow. Ow. My feet. They burn, they sting, they whine piteously.

SAD EMOTICON TO EXPRESS MY ANGST!!
.......
:(

-L

11:01am: I've ways to make you strange
drug you up and drag you home...

I hate it when the radio plays music I actually like but it has a faint country twang to it.
Makes me feel so betrayed.

But c'mon! It's a song about fucking somebody up so badly that they have no idea who they are anymore...
And we've all done that.

Last night I dreamed I was filming a documentary and we paid all these native people to run around and pretend like they're being chased by bears, but the bears would be safely contained so that the natives would be fine,

Of course the bears escaped, and ripped off this native womans leg. And it was all floppy and weird and then they ripped off her lower torso, and I watched all the blood gush from her leg-stump down across her naked.....body-stump.

It was interesting.

I also dreamed I tried to rescue a goldfish from a drain in a big concrete room but when I pulled it out it became a drowned rat, and I patted it and it became my little friend and I carried it around.

I know I'm fucked up, fuck off.

In other news, Terra called me yesterday, and I've decided to run off and live with her in a sex-haze for the rest of my life.
....actually, she might come up for the summer and sleep on my couch.
Apparently there won't be any sex, and therefore no sex-haze.
Dammit.

Also, according to Ethan who lives in Oregon where both Lilly and Allie also live (is that where all my somewhat serious horribly fucked up relationships go? *shudder* Note to self: Never go to Oregon...) Allie has broken up with his boyfriend (girlfriend? I can never keep track with him) and wants to come visit me.

He'll never find out where I live! Never!
ETHAN IF YOU FUCKING TELL HIM I WILL GO UP THERE AND MAKE SURE YOU NEVER ENJOY SEX OR ANYTHING YOU DO WITH YOUR GENITAILIA EVER EVER EVER AGAIN. (sorry Jules. It'll have to be done).

On a side note: Everyone is a moron.

Therefore, I've given up having any sort of coherent work-ethic. I figure, if everyone is a moron, why pay attention to them?

-L

10:57am: That Maria Bitch (Or "Tawny")
...was in my house last night.
Why?
Well I certainly had nothing to do with it.
And what did she do?

....Hugged Eric and glared at me over his shoulder in the evil-demonic-bitch way that she does.

....I should've stabbed her.
How come I never stab her?

Dammit.
-L

11:14am: Job-y Job-y Job
I've applied for work over at Folk Art today, I'm going to ask Nessa about Pizzazz, and the woman at Folk Art also offered me a job at the Benbow Inn, and the owner of Treats came in the other day and offered me a job, so hopefully I things should work out,

So the truth of the matter? No, I did not get fired.
Chautauqua (or however you spell that stupid name, -anyone know what the hell it means?) has decided to expand, and so they're kicking E-tech and the bookstore out, Garth's moving ET to the old photoshop at the top of town, but the bookstore's going under, and so, my job is too. (although Garth wanted me to be internet bitch, but I said noooo)

this comes at a bad time. What with rent and Eric's car, and blllaaahblahblahblaaah
But everything should be cool.

PURPLE EMUS WITH LAZER EYES OF DEATH EAT MY BRAIN!

.....

You heard me.
-L