Mere's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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hello my friend [03 May 2005|06:14pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | none ]

Guess whos back!!?!

i might start using this one again because like everyone at school has my other online journal adress...and it kinda defets my perpous of using it...but any hew... my other adress, if your interested is:

feel free to check it out

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look at me! [01 Jun 2004|04:59pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Death Cab For Cutie ]

What is your favorite..
gum:Winter Fresh
restaurant:Red Lobsters
type of weather:Warm
thing to do on a half day:Make last min plans
late-night activity:Partys, Movies...
city:New York
store:I dont shop much, Hand-Me-Downs all the way!
When was the last time you..
cried:Sat-over nick
played a sport:Thurs- soccer
laughed:When ever the last time i was with Kathleen
hugged someone:about 2:50, from Jeph
kissed someone:Fri- Nick
felt depressed:Everyday
felt elated:last Fri
felt overworked:everyday i go 2 school
faked sick:Last Fri- to hang out with jeph
lied:"I can not tell a Lie"
What was the last..
word you said:Damnit
thing you ate:Muffin
song you listened to:Death Cab For Cutie-"Song for Kelly Huckaby"
thing you drank:Water
place you went to:To my room
movie you saw:The day after 2morrow
movie you rented:Platoon
concert you attended:cant remember, unless you count seeing Jerry Signfeild
Who was the last person you..
cried over:Nick
danced with:Nick
shared a secret with:either nick, kathleen or care
had a sleepover with:emily
went to a movie with:dad, mom, sis
were angry with:nick
couldn't take your eyes off of:jeph friend... nick (a complete coincidence with the name)
obsessed over:nick
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:yes
kissed someone:yes
done drugs:depends... on what kinda drugs
drank alcohol:yes
slept around:ive slept in different places... but if your talking about with mutiple people... no
partied 'til the sun came up:not that im aware of
had a movie marathon:yes
gone too far on a dare:i have a bad memory
spun until you were immensely dizzy:yes
taken a survey quite like this before:not quite but close

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!

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So very alone [29 May 2004|10:51pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Postal Service- "We Will Become Silhouettes" ]

I cant help feel alone and used... I know that i shouldn't feel this way, and i am over reacting, but, idk, i cant help it... i wish Jeph was here to give me a hug.

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feeling good [29 May 2004|04:07pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Postal service- "nothing better" ]

things are really starting to look up.

I think that i am really starting to fall for jeph. he is a really sweet guy and he always makes me feel better when i am down. i always talk 2 him from the time i get home till the time we go to bed, which is 10pm. and its funny cuz we get up around the same time. hehe. he went away to a frisbee tornament this weekend and im so jelious. i wish he was home now though cuz i wanna talk 2 him. he told me on fri before he left that he would call me... but he hasn't called yet. i'm also becoming good friends with ethan which is also great cuz i sorta like him also. but idk, not as much as i thought I did.

me and nick seem to be getting back in to the swing of things. i think that we are so ment for each other, it's just that when we are around people at school and stuff, things get all messy any stuff. last night was great and even though i got grilled by my dad, it was so worth it.
I've decided to hang on to this journal for more personal entrys, alot of people have Xanga journals at my school, so i decided that i might as well keep this one seeing that this was my first journal... and i really dont think anyone reads it anyway.. but anyway, oh well.

alright, i have to go finnish my chores. ill write more later

Miss you JB
thinking of you Ethan

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what a crazy night [29 May 2004|04:05pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Postal Service-"Nothing better" ]

this was written yesterday, or earlier this morning to be excat at 1:51am in my Xanga journal:

oh wow... where 2 begin...

as you can see its like 1:45am.... and i pretty much just got home, lol.... i had so much fun 2night. i went to see Jerry Signfield with nick and his brother, and they were front row seats... it was insane. after that we went to bartuchi's... idk if that is how you spell it, but anyway, we had pizza and salda, nicks brother is so funny and a really cool guy.

it was funny cuz the other day me and sarah were staring at his car, and then i started staring him cuz i thought that he was nicks brother, and it turned out 2 be, but anyway he new it was me, lol, it was a lil akward lol, but it was cool lol.

we ended up going back to nicks dads house, and we watched Signfield and did our thing lol... haha Vitale knows what that means hehe...

my dad was a lil upset that i got home so late... but it was worth it...

oh what a night... i feel so great, and idk... i hope nicks bro likes me... its kinda important to me in a way.

ok im going to bed... night all


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life [27 May 2004|04:03pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | postal service-"nothing better" ]

everything is so fucked up at school. i dont even wanna be alive at this point anymore. ive been really strugaling with this whole depression thing and its just getting worse. no matter how many pills i take, i am always so sad. i really truely don't feel like living anymore. i am trying to hang in there, and my friends are doing there best. but i really feel like i just don't wanna be here anymore.....

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Random Shit List: [27 May 2004|03:59pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | The Postal Service-"nothing better" ]

Random Shit List:

I Don't think i can BE anymore depressed

Lipkin is a pretty cool Gal

I really am starting to think that Kathleen is really my only friend at school.

People are fucking assholes

Soccer tryouts are lame

Nick hates me....

i want the school year 2 be over, like NOW!

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get better. [21 May 2004|08:56pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Dave Matthews Band- "Stay or Leave" ]

For some reason, I cannot help but feel like I have been betrayed or something. I just feel so horrible inside. Whenever I think about nick, I think about all of the great times we had together. All the great late night phone calls. I do not see how he can give all of that up so easily as if it never meant anything to him in the first place, as if, I meant nothing to him. I wonder if things will ever get better…

1 MeSsAgE| Leave One

guess whos back [21 May 2004|08:15pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Dave Matthews Band- Too High ]


I know I have not updated since April but idk... I am making up for it.
A lot has happened in my life, and I do not even know where to begin. I tried to start a new journal using Xanga, but I think I might abandon it because as I re-read some of my old entries, I realized that a lot has happened in the past year and its all recorded here, and I don’t wanna let go of it. I have gone through two loves in this journal (Eric & Nick).

Nick and I are not together anymore. Everything is so fucked up at school. I do not think there is anything that I can really do to make things better, although I wish with all my mite. I wish I could just take control of everything, so everything will run smoothly and nothing could or would go wrong. idk what I plan to do with my summer. I was hopping to spend it with nick, but he’s no longer part of my life, or at least he really doesn't want to be :o<... he has no idea how much he is killing me, but whatever. His loss, right?

My sister just got home with pizza so I am going to go eat and try to forget how much I truly do love Nicholas.

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fear [10 Apr 2004|03:26pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | alicia keys- if i aint got you ]

life can be so depressing. all my friends are leaving me, either because there moving, they get kicked out of school, or they go insane or some shit... idk if i can take much more. i fear for my friends because most of them do not care about what happens to them...

i'm so afraid

3 MeSsAgEs| Leave One

Bowling for Columbine [08 Apr 2004|07:01pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | none ]

"I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string."
-Scott Adams

Yesterday, I watched this movie called Bowling for Columbine it was a movie about the Columbine high school and other tragic things that happened in schools where there was a kid who brought a gun to school. It was a really good movie, some parts were really sad though, but I think that it is a movie that everyone should take the time to watch, especially if you have a gun in your house.

on another note... i can't wait till soccer session starts. i really wanna be captain for next year, and i know i am good enough to be captain. not to be cocky... but its true, its sux that i cant play this summer but for the money that i am making this summer, i guess one summer with out soccer wont hurt =o>... but still i plan to work my ass off for pre session.

1 MeSsAgE| Leave One

comic nut [01 Apr 2004|08:47pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]
[ music | JayZ- black album ]

so i wanted to go see HellBoy 2morrow but i cant cuz im leaving for NC... im really disapointed cuz i've been waiting a long time and when your a comic nut, it seems like forever. and now its finally here or 2morrow its finally here and i wont be there 2night at 12 to see it :o(... tear

next week im going to go see punisher... at least i still have that :o)...

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my day with my kelso [01 Apr 2004|07:34pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | JayZ- the black album ]

Yeah so I've been MIA for the last couple of weeks, but yeah know, eventually I would come crawling back.

I deleted my web page but I am recreating it and making it all enhanced and stuff ... its goin to be really cool. I'm going to NC tomorrow with my Mom and my sister, and when i come back i might go back with my friend Emily, so its gonna be cool. nick surprised me this morning by coming over. it was crazy, but sooooooooooooooo sweet, we spent the whole day together and went and got gas and got food from wawa. he had a $100 dollar bill and he asked the woman if she could break it for him, she was like "um.. SURE" lol it was weird. i felt like everyone was looking at us. but who cares... we are in love <3... I've been going down to wawa a lot lately i have been there everyday this week so far. I'm such a loser, and the guy Bruce (the old guy that works there) is always like "there she is!" when ever he sees me lol. its funny. i guess that's it for now. i may think of something else to write later. also I'm so proud of myself, i actually did all my laundry in one day... go me, go me!


3 MeSsAgEs| Leave One

life is great [27 Mar 2004|02:57pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | none ]

i've been really busy lately, thats why i havn't updated in a while...
well acutally im lying, i've been grounded for 2weeks

ive joined drama class its a lot of fun

my party went great and nick ended up sleeping over... OMG...hehe it was GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!!!!

LAX is really sucky

i dont think i could be anymore inlove

life is great

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Drama [11 Mar 2004|05:44pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | none ]

today was an ok day...
better then yesterday.

im doing Drama at my school on mon and thurs from now on. so far it seems fun and the guy who is running it seems really cool.

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nicks house [08 Mar 2004|07:13pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | none ]

so this weekend was alot of fun.

i went into philly spend the day with my BF. it was alot of fun. even though i had 2 take two trains just to see him, in the end it was worth it. i was really glad to find out that his rents really like me :o).

im so glad im with him... i don't think that i could be with out him at this point.



on another note.. im sick :o(...

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fun week [05 Mar 2004|08:35pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Evanescence- My Immortal ]

This whole week has been so GREAT!!! except for 2day... 2day was shity... but idk...
during LAX prac, there was like these guys hanging out on school property and they were making fun of a couple of people. and then like later on one of them started beating the mess out of this lil kid, and it was scary because, well he was beating him with his belt really hard... everyone was like flippin out and shit. and then eventually Prich (dean of students) came out and they left.

later on i had 2 to do 50 push ups and 2 laps because i said hi to Nick. but it was worth it though... :o>
being in love is the best. it sux that we cant see each other as much as we would like 2, out side of school that is. its crazy home much i love this kid.

so im doing Photo again which is great because i have a crap load of negatives. im really excited about it.

Today was a pretty crummy day, one of my friends almost got suspended and threatened that if he didn't leave the school, they would call the police. I didn't get to spend any time with nick today cuz of stupid Exams and I didn't even get a single kiss.

My mom's Motherboard went bad in her computer so I cant work on my web page =o<....
Next sat im suppose 2 be having lke a semi party, like my friends are coming over and there bringing there friends, so its gonna be cool. idk home many people are coming, but i think alot are. but its all good

I'm so tired... i'm gonna take a nap

1 MeSsAgE| Leave One

fun [27 Feb 2004|06:51pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | none ]

yesterday was so much fun...

after school i went over to my friend Sarah's house and we just chilled there for awhile. then we took the car and drove around places looking for things 2 do. we ended up picking her friend danielle up and drove her 2 see her boy friend. it was cool, but it made me miss nick. after that we went and picked up Brehm from his house, and we were suppose 2 go 2 the movies but we went 2 McDonalds and then we got donutes... fun fun.. alot more stuff happen but... i dont feel like going into detail = oX hehe...

i didn't get home till sorta late, but my rents didn't care... cuz i dont really have a time that i have 2 be home so it was cool

i slept until 5pm 2day... and im still sorta tired :o/

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tear jerker [17 Feb 2004|07:06pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | mudvayne- world so cold ]

BigBlobMan [6:52 PM]: listen even though this is the hardest and most difficult part of my life its also been the best, most enjoyable, most awsome point... i sure as hell wouldnt have said that if it was not for you helping me enjoy life, thanks...
TalkinMerD [6:53 PM]: AWE>:'(.. thats so nice of you
BigBlobMan [6:54 PM]: well its true

and in other news.... im leaving DVFS and kenneth is being a lil bitch

thats all for now

3 MeSsAgEs| Leave One

love you Kathleen and Care [08 Feb 2004|04:41pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | none ]

I was watching this thing on TLC... and it was quite nasty ... and there was this one part where people are having like a feast of bugs... on there own free will lol... its pretty nasty

I LOVE KATHLEEN, SHE IS SO AWSOME... but she wasn't at school on thurs...and i was sad, but then she texted me and said she missed me and loved me =o>... happy face for me :o)...

i am no longer friends with this one guy... hes really nice... but he doesn't ever wanna hang out with me or anything... but whatever... Kathleen is all i need =o>... that is of corse... right after caroline...


2 MeSsAgEs| Leave One

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