| 10:51p |
I get so frustrated with everything about him. One minute he's here, the next he's gone, and he doesn't even seem to care about how that affects me. I know, do me wrong once, it's your fault, twice it's my fault, and after that, there shouldn't even be a chance. I just can't help it. I feel safe when I'm lying in his arms. I can tell him anything under the sun, and he would never think to judge me on it. But there is one thing I can't tell him. That I'm crazy about him, and I'd do anything to be with him. He's afraid that if he gets too close with people he's going to fuck them up like he thinks he is, but I just need him to give me a fucking chance. I can show him that maybe we can be perfectly unperfect together.
I'm always the fighter, the one who has to argue my point because i have to be right. But with him, I actually listen to what he says, and I think about it. When I called him last night all of a sudden he goes "you just like talking to someone don't you". I'm lonely, and sometimes, even when I'm around tons and tons of people, I feel even more alone. And talking to people, especially him, makes me happy, even if it's only for a few minutes. I used to let myself be that lonely, and I'd get to places that I never want to go back to.
He's alone and I just wish he'd realize that I can change that for him. I just want to be able to lay in his arms again. |