05:33pm 05/12/2005
  ~Abused~

A single leaf floats through the streets
Seeing sights that cant be beat
but what the leaf sees leaves him confused
why does everyone seems so abused?
It passes a young girl on the street
holding a baby that has nothing to eat
It travels alittle farther and passes a man who's raised his voice to loud at his wife
But she says Ive had enough as she grabs a knife.
You can hear the police sirens screaming
as the man lays on the floor bleeding
so scared of what it sees
the leaf floats away in the breeze
It lands on a young girls window sill
it watches her pop a couple pills
maybe those will make her better the leaf thinks
but then the girl takes a drink...
she falls to the ground
as her heart gives its last few pounds
This confusing messed up life was to much for her to take
she was always saying everyones to fake.
The leaf more confused than ever lands on the ground glad its trip is over
it sits and thinks how lucky it is that leaves dont hafta worry about a troublesome time
because leaves cant think talk or rhyme.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I WONDER...


I often wonder, that while I dream and think of you,

do you think of me too?

Sometimes I wonder, if you've forgotten me and the times we've shared

and how much I should have cared.

And I wonder, am I out of my league or in over my head?

how much should I have said?

Then I think, that maybe if I hadn't held so much in or let so much out

I wouldn't be filled with so much doubt.

Then it hits me, that while true love is what I desire most of all

I am preventing myself from taking that fall.

It's a peculiar thing, to have my fears be the bars that imprison me

from being where I long to be.

And I often wonder, what if I had said what I was thinking?

I wouldn't feel like a ship slowly sinking

sometimes I wonder, what if I had said what I was feeling?

Maybe I'm afraid of what I'm revealing.

and I wonder, why I allow my fears to conquer me every time,

and why I can't have what should be mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can’t help this pain; it’s driving me crazy all day long


It won’t go away it repeats in my head like a broken song


My days are black without a caring soul


Without someone to talk to, someone to hold


No one understands what’s killing me inside


No one can see what I’m trying to hide


I’ve loved you forever; it won’t go away


But love’s never returned, try hard as I may


I’ve cried and cursed this pain so much


But nothing helps without your touch


I’ve tried to tell people what’s going on


They never listen, they’re always wrong


They tell me it’ll wear away, just give it time


It’s been too long, this pain of mine


Just heal my heart, once and for all


No more wishing and hoping you’d call


One day you’ll see, just maybe you’ll see


What you actually meant to me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your eyes
Your hair
Your nose
Your lips
Everything so perfect
When i look at you i see perfection
You are the perfect person for me...
Why cant i be the perfect person for you??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Tomorrow Never Came...

If i woke up tomorrow and found out you were gone i would have so many regrets.
I would of never told you that you are my greatest friend, that I trust you with everything i have, that i love you unconditionallyforever and for always.
I would never get to tell you how i really feel... That i want things between us to be more than just friends
I would want you to hold me and kiss my lips so gently.
But if i woke up tomorrow and you were gone
I would never be able to tell you how i feel.
Even knowing this i still cant tell you all those things!
I just hope you wont be gone tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


In a white room with no windows or doors
I can always seem to find a dark place
My mind cant see the good things anymore
my mind only sees the bad
I've been hurt so much that nothing makes me feel better
Not even you anymore...
It hurts so much for you not to like me
But you dont even know
And you never will
I dont want to ruin the friendship we've got
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A single raindrop falls out of the sky
A sky filled with large gray clouds
The drop lands in the palm of my hand
then quickly dissapears
I wanted to hold onto is for a little bit longer
but it left
I wanted to have it forever
I wanted to keep it as my own
but soon the clouds went away
and the sun brightly shines...
except for the downpour of rain ontop of me
following me untill i find another raindrop
that will just as soon dissapear
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Open your eyes
Cant you see me?
Your looking so hard
But i'm right in front of you
Your wearing a blind fold
That only blocks me out
I'm the one to look at
I'm the one you want
I'm the perfect person for you
Why cant you see that?
Why aren't I the perfect one for you?

Open your eyes
Cant you see me?
Your looking so hard
But i'm right in front of you
Your wearing a blind fold
That only blocks me out
I'm the one to look at
I'm the one you want
I'm the perfect person for you
Why cant you see that?
Why aren't I the perfect one for you?

My Boy Next Door
I'll Never forget my boy next door!
He is the greatest guy i've ever met
He can make me laugh without even trying
And He can do the best Jim Carrey impression than anyone else
Playing hide and go seek, He and I were always on the same team
He taught me how to play soccer, baseball and of course hockey
And He also taught me Boxing*Good Times*
When He and I stole some pilons and washed them, then took them back
Our many trips to ralph and He always got the drooling candies and beef jerky!
He and I making our many contraptions like our card board box car, and many attempts to build a go-kart and of course crusing things in the vice was always fun!
He's had many pets:Peter, Herman, Felix, Samson, Dewy (Dewbert Roberto Bonifacio)
Playing many games of pool, air hockey, and 21 and He always beat me!
He and I watched many movies Liar Liar, Joe Dirt, Ace Ventura, Whats Eatting Gilbert Grape?, Bruce Almighty and soooo many more!
He never wants me to go to his hockey games... I'd either embarase him or he would get nervous..... not sure which one..
He and I laughing at my dad's comments at our brothers hockey games and the other weird people thier! " Lets Gooo Kings" and " Did You Go To Louie?"
He knew i would cry when I got my car
He knows soo much about cars and always helps me with mine
He and I sitting in the field and just talking
" I was nervous my first time..."
He, I and some other friends walking home from school
Throwing snowballs at buses and making fun of tank ass " Owe My Jaw!!"
Asking him to grad and He said yes!
I couldnt ask for anything better
And I know He cares for me
I'll never forget MY boy next door and how He never knew how I felt about him...


20 things i hate about ( Rip off from movie I know)
I hate the way i care for you how your on mymind everyday I hate the way you smile at me you look as though you might care I hate how you talk to me and always make me laugh I hate how unimportant I am to you when you are the most important person to me I hate how your eyes always sparkle at me as if you are keeping a secret from me I hate what we've become nothing more than neighboors I hate how everyone told me we would end up together when clearly we wont I hate how you get my hopes up when you call and then i realize you just wanted to ask me a question I hate how I sit at home every weekend waiting for you to ask me to do something when I know you've got better things to do I hate how youdont talk to me at school you could at least smile or wave I hate how you dont want me to come watch your hockey games when all I wanna do is support you I hate how much I love your parents and how nice they are to me I hate how close our brothers are it makes me wonder why we arnt like that I hate when you actually invite me over because i know it wont happen again for a long time I hate thinking about us being together beacause i know it will never happen I hate how i asked you to grad because i know i wont get to go to yours I hate how we had so much fun when we were younger but now we never do anything together I hate how you look at other girls the way I wish you would look at me. You try so hard to make other girls fall in love with you but you dont even pay attention to the one who already has I hate how i'll remember you as my true love and you'll remember me as just the girl next door What I hate the most is how I love you so much I dont hate you at all.... But i'm tired of being your NO ONE!!


what makes you so special?
why do i care for you so much?
you hurt me everyday
yet i still wont let you go
i've been through 13 years of unhappinesss
it started the day we met
when i saw the boy next door i knew he would be the one
but i guess you didnt think the same when you first laid your eyes on me... even to this day you dont think anything of me
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
gagadaf   
05:29pm 05/12/2005
  I feel so out of place in a place i've been in my whole life.


were gonna be together someday


i've never missed you this much,
never thought i would,
didn't think you'd feel so far away



80 years may pass and we may grow apart
but until my last few beats
you will always have my heart

Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?
And why are you only nice to me when we're alone?

...You know, for an hour you almost got me to believe that you're not a son of a bitch but,
God, you fooled me again.



there is no other one that can take your place
i feel happy inside when I see your face
i hope you believe me
because I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you I need you


But i try to forget how you laughed
Because everytime i think about your laugh
My mind goes straight to your heart
A heart that i guess i was never a part of


Truth Be Told Im Nothing To You I wasnt In Your Past Im Obviously Not Your Present And All I Can Hope For Is To Be In Your Future

Who am I?
In this mirror who's looking back at me?
My eyes have grown so tired I can no longer see
It resembels a girl I once knew
............
A smile on her face and the sound of laughter in the air
A heart filled with passion so willing to care
Those days have come and gone and that girls no where to be seen
I now keep my eyes open at night cause I'm to afraid to dream
I try to remain quiet I rarely speak
My mind drianed and my body weak
Theres no more laughter in the air
I'm confused... How is this fair?
All I ever wanted was to be happy, to be me
But that wasnt enough its obvious to see
When I look in the mirror I see a blurred Picture of someone I once knew so well
But the reflection is so distorted is that really me? I cant tell...


so can anyone tell me how it is possible to be so inlove with someone that you cry yourself to sleep everynight thinking about him... and that person doesnt even have a clue that you love them and they dont love you back:S :( this sucks i'm so mad right now :cussing: ugh w/e no one cares anyways


No Matter How You Say it


and No matter how You try


You really Cant Deny It


Hes Just the Perfect Guy




From The Very Beginning


He was always been there


To be Your Best friend


and tell you he cares




He Knows Everything about You


He Knows whats in your Heart


But Hes totally Clueless


that you've Liked him from the start
 
     Post
 
   
11:59pm 06/03/2005
  You Know I'd Like To Keep My Cheeks Dry Today So Stay With Me And I'll Have It Made  
     Post
 
stuff   
01:25am 27/02/2005
  I dont know where i found it but i didnt write it but who ever did totally knows how i feel!




The truth is
truth is there is no truth
no truth besides the fact that
that i can't let you go
go and live your life
live your life without me
without me there
there to drag you down
down where you don't belong
you don't belong here
here where i am
i am right here
right here in front of you
in front of you but you can't see me
can' t see me here telling the truth
telling the truth about you
you, the one thing
the one thing that I love
that I love more than anything
anything else in the world[
 
     Post
 
Valentines Day   
07:12pm 14/02/2005
 
mood: happy
So i expected today to absolutely BLOW but it turned out so good! I cant stop smiling!! All i wanted was to give "him" some candies and say happy valentines day and i didnt expect anything in return but he got me a rose!! Awww i feel so special! haha I know i'm a really huge dork but i dont care i havent been so happy in a long time!! And then I got to spend the whole evening with him even though it was outside in the cold sitting in his car that doesnt work but it doesnt matter to me i was just so happy to be with him! And to top it all off he named his car after me! He gave it my middle name! how sweet eh? well to me because this kid is totally obsessed with cars oh i feel so special! haha anyways ok i'm a dork and thats all
 
     Post
 
   
01:22am 06/02/2005
  you fucking hurt me so much! i dont even know how to explain it! Its not even your fault! I'm to blame to! You never call but neither do I.... but you know i'm always home i have no life you do! You have your friends that always wanna be with you i dont I just want one day with just me and you to catch up on everything. When i met you i didnt plan for this to happen to us down the road... i pictured us as the best of friends always together but after grade 8 i realized that would never happen.... I wish you could feel how i felt then maybe you'd stop whatever you're doing to me. I LOVE YOU SO EFFING MUCH .  
     Post
 
Lost   
05:42pm 05/02/2005
  I'm So Lost I Cant Be Found
When Will I Hit The Cold Hard Ground?
This Darkness Is Closing In
Erasing The Happiness Within
I Call For You
But I CAnt See Through
The Fake Person I Once Knew
Your Smile, Eyes, And Heart Were So True
Now The Placement Of Your Hair
Shadows Your Ability To Show You Care
You Just Leave Me To Rot And Suffer
As I'm Watching You Love To Love Her
Your Nothing More Than A Chip Off My Shoulder
But Why Does It Feel More Like A Boulder?
I Look Out My Window As Your Bedroom Light Goes On
I Sit And Wonder What The FUCK Went Wrong
Your Bedroom Light Goes Off And You Quickly Fall Asleep
As I Sit 20 Feet Away And Silently Weep
The Darkness Now My Only Friend
I'm Waiting For A Hand To Lend
I Hope To God Its You
Because You Care, I Know You Do....
 
     Post
 
You Make Me Wanna La La   
05:33pm 05/02/2005
 
mood: heart-broken
When Will I Get That Moment When Everythings Just Right?
We Talk And Laugh About Inside Jokes All Night
You Smile At Me And My Heart Starts To Melt
I Wanna Tell You These Feelings I've Always Felt
My Heart Starts To Race As Your Eyes Meet Mine
My Eyes Glue To Yours Waiting For A Sign
The Only Sound Is From My Pounding Heart
My Mind Is Racing Where Would I Start?
I Open My Mouth To Say Something But Nothing Comes Out
Then You Shift Your Eyes Back To The T.V. Then Again I Start To Doubt
How Could I Be So Stupid? I Know You Dont Feel The Same
My Chance Was Gone Before It Even Came
I Feel My Heart Breaking, The Pounding In My Ears
I Just Pray To God He Doesn't Hear
He Asks If Everythings Alright, I Lie And Say I'm O.K.
I'll Just Live This Lonley Lie For One More Day
I Sit Back In The Chair Wondering How Could I Be So DUmb
What I Wouldnt Give To Right Now Feel Numb
 
     Post
 
him   
01:18am 16/01/2005
  i met aaron when i was 5 years old. he moved in next door to me and i thought it was the greatest thing in the world. I'd have a best friend right next door and i'd never have to worry about needing a friend i'd always have him. and things were like that for a few years untill about grade 6. Aaron being a year younger than me was in grade 5 obviouslly decided to come to my school for grade 5 and 6 and i thought this would be awesome so we would walk to the bus together and sit together and just do normal things but then people started telling me that me and aaron would everntually be together and being 12 and boys being new and exciting i liked the thought of liking my bestfriend and from that day on i've liked him. For the rest of my life including now my brother and sister and my friend lisa all tell me that we will be together someday and everywhere i look there are movies and shows about best friends and them falling in love and it being so amzing but it doesnt always work out that way and it isnt fair! Aaron went to a different school for juniour high and i noticed we didnt hang out as often but we still found time to talk and shoot hoops or sit out in the field in front of our house to catch up on stuff and that didnt bother me so much becuase i knew we would be going to the same highschool and i thought things would be like they were in elementary again. but it wasnt it was totally the oppistie really i was merely his drive to and from school in the hallways he would walk by with all his friends and wouldnt even look my way as i sat there bymyself pretending to be studying so i didnt look like a complete loser who had no friends. I got used to being ignored at school and i guess i wouldnt want to be associated with me the shy ugly fat girl in highschool either but i didnt think it would affect us at home. I only got to see him maybe once a month outside on a weekend only when he had nothing else to do and i of course would sit at home and wait for him to call i still do it! then as i went into grade 12 things started getting worse i would never see him and then when he dislocated his knee he couldnt really do anything so i was always at his house and it seemed like the old times and i loved it and he was my date to grad and it was so much fun and i thought ok finally this is what i've been waiting for but then as you might of guessed it things went shitty again he went back to highschool and i went to college and in the past 108 days i've seen him 2 times once on dec.11 for a whole night and then on dec 30 for about 15 mins. yah i keep track thats how sad this is. we e-mail back and forth but its like HE LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR!!! he cant even find the time to call me and talk to me or just come over and talk. Everything i write is about him and i'm so sick of it! but i cant let go no matter what. Ive tried dating and it just feels so wrong! i havent even been kissed did you know that?! i am dead serious but i dont want to be kissed by anyone anyways though..... its like no matter what he does i cant stop loving him. I mean he has a girlfriend i think. he wont tell me these things but i hate it i mean why does she get him? she doesnt even know him! i know everything about him i know the days he dislocated his knee i know his parents anniversary i know his families birthdays i know the ir code to thier alarm system i know where he keeps his porn in his room i know what drawere he keeps his socks in his room i know everything about this kid! does it not count at all i mean isnt that what a guy wants?! someone who would do anything for him! ugh i get so upset over this and i know your probably gonna say that you need to move on but its not gonna happen and i dont want to move on  
     Post
 
stuff from Emolyrics community   
04:48pm 10/01/2005
 
mood: numb
Because for me, it's always been you. always. and i've tried to fight it, & i've tried to deny it. but i can't -- you're undeniable

-------------------------------------------------

AMBER PACIFIC

"Always You"

I'll hold a place for you and I
Inside my heart for you and I
I won't forget these tears I cried
With every year that passes by

And I can't sleep without you
And I can't breathe anymore

Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes

I'll give it up this time again
Some things are better left unsaid
And all I have are lasting dreams
Our word's worth more this time it seems

And I can't sleep without you
And I can't breathe anymore

Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes

Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes (In your eyes)

Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes (In your eyes)

In your eyes

------------------------------------------------------------------

Shaking on the outside,
Because of what I'm feeling inside,
My chest is fuckin hurting,
and my stomach's fuckin burning,

----------------------------------------------------------------

and besides you*re probably holding
hands with some pretty skinny girl
who likes to talk about bands and
all i wanna do is ride bikes with you
and stay up late and watch cartoons

----------------------------------------------------------------

[No One Will Cry Over Me I'm Not Worth Any Tears]

----------------------------------------------------------------

" do I ever cross your mind
uninvited
when you're lonely
or does it only happen to me"

----------------------------------------------------------------

I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know."


----------------------------------------------------------------

I know it's been a long time.
You've lost that look in your eye.
The one that told me everything was fine without a word.
But now we're standing face to face,
with nothing left to say but goodbye to yesterday.

I don't know if I can make it.
I don't know if I'm that strong.
I don't know where we went wrong but somehow it's over.
In my mind I see you clearly.
In my dreams I feel you near me.
I want to know, does this feeling go away?

Like shooting stars we shine and then we fade,
breaking the promises we made.
What about the promises?
What about the promises we made?
What about our plans for forever?
Did they scare you?
Did you need to get away?

You taught me many things.
Like how it feels to miss someone so bad
it feels like a part of you is missing.
I can tell you one thing.
Now that you have gone I never will forget you.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

he's a concieted asshole who only cares about himself and cars and hot chicks..... and even though i say those things i dont believe them for a second

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happiness is being married to your best friend...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

i hate what we've become now nothing more than a stranger passing by
nothing more than a friendly smile or nod of the head
i want things to be how they were

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dont Pretend Your Sorry I Know Your Not You Know You Got The Power To Make Me Weak Inside

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I think about
The way it used to be
You're not the same person that you started out to be
I haven't talked to you in days
And I guess it's not so hard

----------------------------------------------------------------

and i don't know what to do with you
cos you dont know what you do to me.

------------------------------------------------------

i wake up and think dreams are real,
i sleep so i don't have to feel..

-------------------------------------------------------


wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

---------------------------------------------------------------


You wanted to know just what makes me tick,
I guess I could say that,
You and your bullshit,
Are pushing me towards an explosion.
I guess you're what drives me.

I
guess
you
get
caught
up,
In
the
day
-to-
day
drama
of
being
you
To notice me

To notice me

& What's become of my eyes ♥

I keep your picture as a reminder, of what I wish I wasnt.
It's like a fun house mirror version of myself, through those fucked up eyes of yours.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


What do you do when you look in the mirror and staring back at you is the reason he's not here?




"he might be completely heartless, but im still in love with the boy i use to know."


 
     Post
 
Forever and a Day   
04:39pm 10/01/2005
 
mood: distressed
music: There is- Boxcar racer
Just shut up, dont speak
Your words are making me go weak
Like a knife in my heart
My worlds falling apart
Our memories are starting to fade away
From the cool winter months to the hot summer days
Never another with you by my side
Cos I want to get off this crazy rollercoster ride
My emotions cant take it
My hearts yours to break it
I never want to remember what we had
The thought of it makes me so sad
Just leave me be
Set me free
Show me its ok to move on
Even though it feels so wrong
Untill the world doesnt turn
And the sun doesnt burn
In my heart you'll stay
For Forever and a Day....
 
     Post
 
Frusturated   
03:42pm 09/12/2004
 
mood: frustrated
Frustrated cuz I cant tell if its real. Mad cuz I dont know how you feel. Upset cuz we cant make it right. Sad cuz I need you day and night. Angry cuz you wont take my hand. Aggravated cuz you dont understand. Disappointed cuz we cant be together ..but I still love you, now and forever.
 
     Post
 
Just Once   
03:41pm 09/12/2004
 
mood: distressed
Just once I want to be too hard to leave.. I want someone else to stay up all night and think about me.. I want someone who will kiss me with their eyes closed tight and not let go right away when they hug me.. I want to spend the whole day with them and have that be enough.. Someone who wont say "I love you" or "I'll never leave you" if they dont really mean it... I'm tired of not being enough...
 
     Post
 
   
01:01am 28/11/2004
  I miss those good ol'days....
When boys meant "yuck"
When friends were new,
dreams were unshattered
and worries few


When recess was too short
and life too long
decisions came easily
without need to belong


When storks delivered babies
and passions weren't so strong
friendships were unbroken
right was right, wrong was wrong


When bad things didn't happen
when only skinned knees brought tears
and the night light in its socket
quieted all our fears


When farewell meant just for summer
and real friends didn't part
the fun went on forever
and never left a broken heart.
 
     Post
 
Remember   
09:06pm 16/11/2004
 
mood: gloomy
This is for you Aaron......


I want to show you how much I've cared
Remind you of how much we've shared
Hockey rinks and Friendly shoves
Hot summer nights
Never getting in fights
Playing air hockey and pool
Buying thos candies that make you drool
Playing tag at the park
Staying out way past dark
Stealing pylons then taking them back
Laughter was something we never lack
Churn the butter and Monkey in the tree...
I laughed so hard I couldnt see
Throwing berries and pellet guns
Man summer sure was fun
Walking from school to home
Crossing the territory FeFe, Sam and Dewy roam
Hitting buses with snowballs
Making you play with dolls
Asking you to grad and you said yes
Making me feel better when my life was a mess
Your treehouse and trampoline
Our older brothers being mean
Folling Sheri around the block
First she'd run then she'd walk
Riding bikes to driving a car
Now we can actually go really far
Your poor broken knee
Keith's brother smashing into my tree
Toothpick races and basketball games
Oh how I wish things would of stayed the same
Through smiles and tears
You chased away all my fears
Except for the boogeyman he's real alright
He chased me home every night
Herman, Samson, Peter, and Dewy
"Lets go kings" and "Did you go to Louie?"
Cardboard cars and crushing things
Starring at the phone hoping it'd ring...
Out of lego building a ship
Then taking it on a crazy trip
Making cookies and brownies, and of course Mac & Cheese
But nothing could beat your Chef Boyardee
Big red, your scooter, and pop cans...
Nothing could beat out garbage can band
Playstation 2, and N64
Things that kpt us from being bored
Your triple stale go was quite a feat
Always bugging me because I hate feet
Jim Carrey is the man
I'll never forget your farmers tan
Laughing so hard pop came out our nose
While washing my car I sprayed you with the hose
In your "gay-rage" sniffing paint thinner
We must of looked like a bunch of real winners
Climbing in trees
The birds and the bees
There's so much more that I could say
But I think you get my point anyway
So many happy memories over the years
Now my mind is filling with fears
I know your busy and I am to
But I want to make time for me and you...
So we can have many more inside jokes
Like the one making fun of our folks
They said they were gong to the currling rink
But they didnt do what you'd think....(haha)
I just want you to know you'll always be in my heart
Even if we do some day part
You could make me happy
When things were going crappy
My Best Friend you'll always be
I'll just think back to those days of sitting high up in the trees...
And Smile
 
     Post
 
BLAH   
10:30pm 15/11/2004
 
mood: frustrated
I"M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRUSTERATED!!!!!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO TELL ME THAT THINGS WILL BE ALRIGHT !!!!!
 
     Post
 
FAILED!   
08:53pm 15/11/2004
 
mood: angry
music: wonderwall- oasis
Wow today sucked soo unbelievably much! I failed my Effin mid-term just as i suspected i hate politics!! I need a drink! urrgh! i'm just so friggen mad! i wanna yell and scream and break stuff it would feel so nice to just let it all go! ..... i cant wait to finish what i'm writing so i can send it to you.....

I'm gonna show you how much i've cared
remind you of how much we've shared....
 
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songs that i like   
08:52pm 14/11/2004
 
mood: lonely
-------------------------------------------------------------
avery--maybe someday

Its called to my attention that you've forgotten my existence
The way you walk around like high class society
youre no better than the ignored but you're too blind to see

And maybe someday when I grow a little bit taller
and maybe someday when I am just as good as her
and maybe someday when I tell you the words I'm writing
I'll fall asleep with the light on and sleep all through the night

Why won't you say hi to me We've been through to much to let it slip away Maybe someday I'll just sing this song cause it's all I've ever done for anyone

Calling up an old friend I pass by your phone number
now thinking back on how it used to be
Remember when we sat around all day in the shade
the heat didn't bother us we were high above those clouds

And maybe someday when I grow a little bit taller
and maybe someday when I am just as good as her
And maybe someday when I tell you the words I'm writing
I'll fall asleep with the light on and sleep all through the night

And I practiced the words I'd say like my smile the night before picture day
Don't you say hello to me because you never said goodbye
when you left me all alone

----------------------------------------------------------

No one understands
The meaning of your eyes
And how I feel
Burning deep inside

----------------------------------------------------------
 
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November 14, 2004   
08:17pm 14/11/2004
 
mood: lonely
music: i miss you - Blink 182
What an uneventful day! It all started when i woke up at about 9:35am and realized i forgot to take the videos back last night and they were due back in 25 mins so i jumped outta bed and threw on some clothes and ran out the door to go drop off the videos the i came back home and started studying for my mid-term tomorrow but no matter how hard i tried i just couldnt get into what i was reading... maybe because its on politics but w/e so now i'm going to fail tomorrow but what are you gonna do?! and then i decided to watch on of my old Backstreet Boy's videos ( yah i know geek) but it made me happy for awhile until i got bored of that then i decided to go to my friends house that i'm watching to see her bird and watch some tv( she's got satelitte) so thats what i did i sat there for 2 hours and i watched Radio Free Roscoe which I absolutely love (haha again geek) and then the rest of extreme home makeover and bawled my eyes out and then i watched American dreams and then i came home and now i find myself sitting here typing this pointless entry that really has no meaning to it at all! God i wish i wasnt so bored and just had someone to talk to right now! oh well .....
 
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Fuck You!   
11:33pm 13/11/2004
 
mood: pissed off
music: I hate everything about you- Three days grace
I want to make you hurt as much as i do!!!!


My Boy Next Door
I'll Never forget my boy next door!
He is the greatest guy i've ever met
He can make me laugh without even trying
And He can do the best Jim Carrey impression than anyone else
Playing hide and go seek, He and I were always on the same team
He taught me how to play soccer, baseball and of course hockey
And He also taught me Boxing*Good Times*
When He and I stole some pilons and washed them, then took them back
Our many trips to ralph and He always got the drooling candies and beef jerky!
He and I making our many contraptions like our card board box car, and many attempts to build a go-kart and of course crusing things in the vice was always fun!
He's had many pets:Peter, Herman, Felix, Samson, Dewy (Dewbert Roberto Bonifacio)
Playing many games of pool, air hockey, and 21 and He always beat me!
He and I watched many movies Liar Liar, Joe Dirt, Ace Ventura, Whats Eatting Gilbert Grape?, Bruce Almighty and soooo many more!
He never wants me to go to his hockey games... I'd either embarase him or he would get nervous..... not sure which one..
He and I laughing at my dad's comments at our brothers hockey games and the other weird people thier! " Lets Gooo Kings" and " Did You Go To Louie?"
He knew i would cry when I got my car
He knows soo much about cars and always helps me with mine
He and I sitting in the field and just talking
" I was nervous my first time..."
He, I and some other friends walking home from school
Throwing snowballs at buses and making fun of tank ass " Owe My Jaw!!"
Asking him to grad and He said yes!
I couldnt ask for anything better
And I know He cares for me
I'll never forget MY boy next door and how He never knew how I felt about him...




Screaming From The Voice Inside Trying To Find A Place Inside To Hide From The Bad Dream
 
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