| 10:31p |
I had the need to put some words in my blog again.
I know I don't use it very often.
It's not that I'm so busy
but I rather, tell someone than telling it to the internet
But now I just have to let it out.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I'm a mess, always been :)
I'm still in love with this guy who I met in december 2006.
We've been going out, we dated, we were in a kind of relationship.
But he just can't bind him to another person.
He's selfish and thinks he is god.
I had another relationship in the meantime.
Thought it was perfect, it weren't the biggest butterflies ever, but they were there.
It was lovely, it was nice. And it has gone bad.
Now he has another. But weirdly I don't care a lot.
It does something but not that kind of misery that I have with the first one I was talking about.
The first one, lets call him X
I know I'll always be afraid if I would ever be with him.
And I'll never gonna be myself because of it,
But still .. he means so much.
And he has a lot of other girls
pretty girls.
But no one is in his heart.
I want to be in his heart.
I want to mean something.
I don't know what I was trying to tell
but I just wish i meant something to someone. A lot more than just friends.
I wish that I was the girl he thinks about
that he knows that his future lies with me
I want to be someones future
someones everything. |