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Wednesday, May 7th, 2003
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4:52p
so...i have been packing and moving all day, and not that i am work i can finally rest a little, go figure. i am really sad that i wont be able to be around leena all the time. i mean i guess nto we wont get burnt out on each other, but i will miss so much being able to knock on her door at 2 am and be like lets go to walmart i'm bored. you know? she is so freakin cool i love it. its awesome. i can't wait till summer when we can go to the pool together, and rollerblade all the time. we will run around and just have fun. and rachel will be with us now and that will make it even better. i can't wait until she comes home. this summer will hoepfully be really great once i get my school stuff worked out.
with leaving school, i have figured out that that will leave me and kevin with very minimal "alone time". i want to wait to have sex wtih him, but i don't know if i want to wait that long you know? i dont really know what i want. i know hes not using me for sex or anything, but i still kind of want to wait to make sure my feelings that i'm feeling will really last for the long run. but at the same time i totally want to jump him. i mean why should i punish him for things guys have done to me in the past? why should i punish myself. maybe i will proposition him tonight, see how he feels about it, and then if he's up for it do the deed. or maybe not. i dont know at all. he's so great, i don't want to ruin it by doing it too soon, or waiting too long, or pushing him, or denying him i have no clue. i'll see what he wants and we will go from there. well more later tonight after all that and such. until next time...
current mood:  drained
current music: the simpsons (comment on this)
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