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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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The Starting Line~ Cheek to Cheek |
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hmm well things are getting confusing.
we're gonna do the whole vague/specific thing that tends to get annoying kuz the stuff you're saying sounds important but isn't really totally able to be figured out because you're sorta vague.
anyway, that paragraph was confusing in itself. so here we go, the basis of my confusion follows.
for a while i've given up on guys at our school. there were a few that things just weren't mutual with, but for the most part, they just chose not to express interest. so it appeared to me that no 'love' was to be found at athens high so i searched elsewhere. this summer i found a couple people, one of westland and one of livonia. well, all those relationships left me with was an aching to have those people back in my life or, as is the case for one, for them to not go away in the first place (damn army).
So here i am, missing them, and it has occured to me of late that there are actually guys at my school who are worth going through all the indecision and second-guessing that happens before a relationship occurs, than i had previously thought/realized. One in particular. Very particular. Now what i haven't found out yet, is what to do with this newfound realization. Whether to act upon it, or go completely against my own nature, the nature of mary, and not skip any of the steps but take all that confusion, indecision, and second-guessing as it comes.
But really, i'm not that type of person. as i've said, i don't like playing theoretical games like that. My only problem is that if the other person plays the game, than i go along with it instead of taking the initiative. So i get all the confusion whether i want it or not.... which actually sorta blows...
on the positive, completely unconfusing side, daria was on tonight! My long lost daria! i was babysitting tonight and it was on at 9, 9:30, 11, and 11:30. so i got in 4 episodes of the best show on tv. wow that was great. i used to be such a daria, i really did.
alright then, it's late. too late for me. i like my sleep.
goodnight my friends,
mary
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