Rhianen's Blurty

Out of Sync
So tired...but that's what I get for not sleeping til 6 am this morning! But anyway, did some major checking around today. I think I'll join some communities on here, hehe. Can't wait until Saturday when my mom brings me up the clothes I forgot back home. It's not much but it's annoying to me when I leave anything behind. I just hope she doesn't give me the 20 questions interrogation again. I know she's only look out for me...I've known that all along but I guess it's getting on my nerves a lot these days. There are a lot of things I still don't tell my parents because it's none of their business. For one, that I've made friends online. They'd probably freak out if I told them that! They'd be like "You've never seen these people before, how do you know you can trust them?" or "You're not giving away personal information are you?". It drives me nuts. I also haven't told them I'm feeling out of sync with our church, or the Christian faith in general. I'm not sure how they'd respond to that, but I know it would likely bring on another lecture. *Rolls eyes* And that's kind of the last thing I need right now, hehe.
I also realized I hold grudges for an extensively long time. Hee hee, don't I sound so proud of that? I only noticed since the way I've talked of Mark (former friend, former crush) these past few days. I have no clue what he's up to now or even if he's a changed man, but ever since HS I've sort of resented him as much as I resent my ex, Jon, these days. Which is a terrible thing since if he and I ever met again, I wouldn't want to resent him but right now I can't help it. I think I still even have grudges against people from many years ago. And you're probably like, why can't you just forget about them and move on? Well, actually, I have but it's always in the back of my mind...one of those weird psychological things. I probably shouldn't talk more about him since I know my grudges can also go very deep and I don't want to come across like I hate him. No, nothing like that. But anyway, yeah, that's as far as that goes. I'm also slowly figuring out why my dreams of *him* have run dry, although I don't have a good theory yet. Just a guess. :P And...my floor is being annoying again, yay. Note the sarcasm. If anyone of them realized sound travels I don't think they'd be so loud! And the way one girl walks back and forth down the hall with her heeled shoes or whatever *swoosh-grate-swoosh* is just aggravating. I think I'm going to get some soda now and I know this entry didn't make a lot of sense, but bear with me. I'll have many others to write this week! ;) Until then.....adios!

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Delerium-Euphoria