Rhianen's Blurty

Far From Here
Far From Here
You were there for so long, lifting my spirits up. You excited me and helped me fill my cup of the life you restored within me, you never made me fall. But where are you now? I ask, where are you now? I'd gotten so used to you with every small movement you made. But now I feel some part of me has been betrayed. The memories, not gone, of your kiss and caress I felt, and even more now that it's your name I cannot shout. Of all that time we spent together, in the river or in my dreams, now all I feel I want to do is scream! So where are you, where are you now? Why did you leave me here in this sorrow? The parting was sweet the way you said your simple "good-bye" but now I'm forever left wondering why, because I feel the loss of you more than you know...You're far from me and far from here so I wondered where you go. If you ever return to me I'll be the happiest girl around if you can change a smile from my bitter frown. But where are you? I ask, where are you now? Where is it you went I couldn't follow? And if your return is not as sweet as how you parted, take my heart now and stop it. Please return, that's all I ask, come back to me from your desolate path among the trees. You knew where I'd take you and perhaps that didn't sit well, but whatever the reason you left, I still even cherish you now

That is one of the many poems I wish to write in here. And even now as I listen to the music playing on my computer, I just feel all confused and upset again. Chris and I talked about this for a long while on the ride to the mall yesterday. This poem isn't about him, though, nor any of my guy friends hehe. Part of me has been feeling rather empty since this has happened and I can't seem to get *him* to return to me, at least in my dreams. The last time I dreamt of him, he made it sound like he was saying "good-bye" and since then I haven't seen him since. I know, it's only my dreams but hey...they're just as important as waking life. Kind of makes me think of Alex, who I used to dream of constantly in HS and he's gone now, seemingly forever. I don't think I can ever get him back. I've heard of "shared dreams" and I have a feeling that one where he said good-bye was likely one of many I've had, although this one felt stronger. Much stronger. Well, I'm hoping he'll come back. Something seems very off not having him show up lately and I'm kinda wondering just how big an impact he had on me although I've never met him before...
But anyhow, I have two very different story ideas. I haven't decided whether to make them public or friends only but I'll figure it out. Now, I'm getting rather hungry again so I should get off. I did the emailing I'd said I'd do. Still need to clear out the rest of my email I haven't checked yet, make room for more. Sometimes I think it would be great if the email had like this other storage area for the really new emails so you wouldn't have to sort through the old stuff and waste half your time online. I don't know, just an idea. Well, I'm going now. Hopefully I'll tame my stomach by tonight and maybe update later. Haven't decided yet, :P.
Until next time......

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Shakira-Poem to a Horse