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Thursday, May 13th, 2004
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5:42 am - bRoKeN
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today was really....long.....travis thinks i look like a fat terrorist...some white girl wants to beat my ass...and my arm wouldnt stop bleeding. :) i walked by ashley (the some white girl) and she, as usual, yelled damn im allergic to ho (very creative) and i smell ho (very original) and i turned around for once i said "damn it smells like trailers and incest! achoo! i think im allergic to white trash!" and she flipped. god. it wasnt that insulting. she just needs some deoderant shit. travis got soooo mad @ me for sayin something to her...i guess he just expected me to sit there and take it..just cuz im his bitch doesnt make me everyones....
travis pushed me against a wall today...and he saw...ohmyfuckinggod he saw.
i decided im going on a diet. a very...restrictive diet (i.e. no food). ::cutcutbleedbleedsnifflesniff::
so i was thinking yesterday..all rock music is is losers feeling sorry for themself. at least rap is happy.
current music: Broken - Seether feat. Amy Lee
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| Friday, April 30th, 2004
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7:30 am - |M w1+h Y0u
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this has been a typical shit week. on monday, leah got in a fight with travis because travis didnt like the idea of leah's stalker ex calling her and taking her places. leah didnt see what the problem was, so travis decided he wasnt talking to leah....again. on tuesday, he still wouldnt talk to leah....and on wednesday they made up because travis missed leah too much. thursday...hmmm...what happened thursday....nothing....friday....leah gets in hella shit because she forgot to go to class again...cant see travis for 2 more weeks....leah goes home....gets screamed at by parents.....gets the shit beat out of her.....goes into her room.....shuts the door.....cries......cuts.....
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
I dont want to be the one
Who battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight
...on a happier note, im happily madly in love, and everything that has to do with travis in my life is pretty much perfect. all i have to do is erase the memories of my life that have been pounding into my brain for years, and im fine. really. ::sigh:: ...fuck.
current mood: *unknown*
current music: Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
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| Saturday, April 24th, 2004
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11:09 am - ew.
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i just found out 2 of my best friends used to be in love with me....one of which is a girl....you can imagine how this makes me feel. im so sick of everyone paying attention to how i look, and not giving a shit about the rest of me....travis for example......aaahhhh im gonna shoot somebody!!!!...preferably myself.....lalala.......im going back to sleep now....fuck u henry......i think its so funny none of my friends no im grounded yet none of them are calling me.....including travis....god i luv my life........someone please shoot me.....
Bakjaa: omg
mArShMeLL0bUnNiE: wut
Bakjaa: nick is soooooooooo big
Bakjaa: hes like.... 5 inches!!!!!!!!!!!
mArShMeLL0bUnNiE: umm......
mArShMeLL0bUnNiE: ::cough cough::
Bakjaa: what?'
mArShMeLL0bUnNiE: ahhhhemm nothing...
current mood:  amused
current music: Walk Away - Christina Aguilera
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10:29 am - traivs.....
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*sniffle-sniff-tear-tear-whimper-whimper-sob-sob*
omg i feel like such a loser.....i cant stop cutting....yesterday travis saw my arm and didnt no what it was....if i dont make something up hes gonna break up w/ me....again....
this has been the worst week of my life:
monday - leah & travis forgot to go 2 school...mom found out....called "the travis's"....grounded for 2 weeks...
tuesday - travis wont talk 2 leah.....
wednesday - travis does talk 2 leah...travis fucks leah.....leah comes home smelling like sidewalk....grounded for 2 more weeks....
thursday - travis fucks leah again....then doesnt talk 2 leah.....leahs still grounded.....
friday - travis gets mad @ leah....for calling travis....when travis was busy doing other things....liek skateboarding with his ex-girlfriends......travis yells @ leah.....leah cries.....leah goes home....leah bleeds to death and cries herself to sleep......
saturday - leah wakes up.....still alive...pjs permanently stained red.....fuck.....they were cute 2.....leah drinks half a bottle of scotch.....uuuuggghhhhh.....leah throws up....
wow i just cant wait 4 tomorrow.....
i miss travis :'(
I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my souls on the other side.
Oh the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
To sharp to put back together.
To small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.
So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe now...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more.
current mood:  cold
current music: My Immortal - Evanescence
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9:39 am - bleh....
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*yawn*
[Body:]
name = Leah
piercings = ears - 11
tattoos = hahaha
height = 5'1¾...dont 4get the ¾
shoe size = 8 8½
hair color = reddish black
siblings = julie,lorenzo,nick,melissa(?),stefanie,julian,anya,mario,antonio
[LAST...]
movie you watched = connie & carla
movie you bought = finding nemo
song you listened to = Way Away - Yellowcard
cd you bought = Reanimation - Linkin Park
cd you listened to = Fallen - Evanescence
person you've called = Travis
person that's called you = Giana
person you kissed =Travis
tv show you've watched = Spongebob Squarepants
[DO...]
you wish you could live somewhere else = Hell NO...ok maybe...New York
you think about suicide = once in a while
you believe in online dating = no not unless their all petifile stalker ppl then its fine
others find you attractive = fuck yeah
you want more piercings = yep bellybutton & eyebrow
you like roller coasters = yeah
you write in cursive or print = print
[FOR OR AGAINST...]
long distance relationships = for if they can work
using someone = no...unless its 2 get closer 2 sum1 else hotter
suicide = against................
people = for....as long as they look good and dont piss me off
smoking = against cigarettes, for weed
driving drunk = against
gay/lesbian relationships = for
[HAVE YOU...]
ever cried over a girl = hmm.....no.
ever cried over a boy = still am
ever lied to someone = yeah.....
ever been in a fist fight = only w/ dudes
[WHAT...]
shampoo do you use = silkysexyhair
shoes do you wear = k swiss, steve maddens & vans
are you scared of = getting my heart broken....again.
[NUMBER...]
of times I have been in love? = 2
of times I have had my heart broken? = 2
of hearts you broken? = 4...maybe 12
of times my name has appeared in the paper? = umm......no se
of things in my past that I regret? = 5 trillion
[DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...]
pretty = yeah sometimes
funny = yes
hot = im not a lesbian
friendly = only 2 nice ppl
amusing = yes
ugly = sometimes
loveable = not really
caring = yeah
sweet = no
dorky = a little...in a creepy way
[FAVORITE...]
5 letter word: blood
Actor/actress: erika christensen
Candy: zours
Cartoon: spongebob
Cereal: golden grams
Chewing gum: orbit
Color(s): red, bue, black
Day of week: wednesday
Least fave day: tuesday
Flower: rose
Season: winter....long sleeves
[Person who last.. ]
Slept in your bed: my kitty
Saw you cry: my mom
Made you cry: travis
You went to the movies with: giana
Yelled at you: travis
Sent you an email: giana
[Have you ever.. ]
Said "I love you" and meant it?: yeah
Gone out in public in your pajamas: school duh
Kept a secret from everyone: yes......
Cried during a movie: hell yeah that jesus movie shit
Planned your week based on the TV: nooooooo....
Been on stage: yeah hella times
Been to New York: yep
Been to California: i live in california
Hawaii: no i wish
Canada: no....
Europe: no
Asia: no
Australia:no
Wished you were another gender: no i like my boobs
What time is it now?:10:06
[This or That? ]
Apples or bananas?: ew neither i dont eat healthy food
Blue or red?: red....blood.....
Walmart or target?: hmm......target.
Spring or Fall?: fall
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: nothing im grounded i have no life bitch
What was the last meal you ate?: pizza
Are you bored?: yeah....
Last noise you heard?: leah crying
Last smell you sniffed?: traivs......
[Friendship/Love ]
Do you believe in love at first sight?: no...i believe in like @ first sight...
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: me & travis r gonna have 2 kids, a daughter named juliette after his mom, and a boy named...uhh.....we dunno yet.
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: trust
[Other Info ]
Criminal record?: nope...never been caught
Do you speak any other languages?: spanglish
Last book you read: this lullaby
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: pictures of me & my friends....posters....tests that travis flunked....my pocket knife from claire's
[You]
Nickname(s): lima....princess.....whitey.....booboo.....travis
Initials: LRK
How old do you look?: 16 17 sometimes older
How old do you act?: 4
Glasses/Contacts: neither
Braces: dont need em
Do you have any pets?: yeah a kitty
You get embarrassed: not that easily
What makes you happy?: travis
What upsets you?: traivs
current mood: depressed
current music: Burn - Usher
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