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[05 Jul 2003|10:15pm] [ mood | bored ] I talked to my sister this morning. I really haven't talked to her in a while. She's coming back to the States after tomorrow and she wants me to fly to South Carolina to her place to see her. I already asked mom and she said yes, so I'll be there by Sunday morning. I've been reading what's been going on in her life and I was worried for a while, reading about how she got depressed, but now she seems okay. I guess I shouldn't worry anymore, but I still am. Sometimes I feel like I'm the older one from the two of us. She doesn't really worry about me as much as I worry about her. She knows I can handle myself but she's a girl, she always needs to be taken care of. That was not a sexist comment. Don't shoot me. ::rubs my eye:: Not much has been going around here. I've been staying at home for the most part and being a lazy eighteen year old. I got a job though. I start sometime next week. So I have to be back in Florida on Monday. I'm waiting for the call from the manager telling me when my schedule is. I got a job at Borders. What I'm going to do there, I still don't know. Probably just stock up the books. Ryan says it's a great way to meet girls but I'm not really looking to meet anyone. I'm going to my sister's premiere, too. I'm ready to see that shit that she did. I keep hearing it's a good movie but I think it's stupid. She's going to kick my ass now. I don't mean to say that to offend her, I just think the movie's kind of a cliche thing. But then again, so was A Walk To Remember and look how well that turned out. I bet now everyone's going to make a website for Mandy and Trent Ford like they did with her and Shane. That was really a lame thing to do. I don't even want to know how much time they spent on those websites. It all looked too time-consuming and kind of stupid. Updating fake love stories about the movie and stuff. And then making these stupid pictures with them kissing and hugging each other. Sick. Holy shit I actually updated a long one. Be proud now. Joel, I have a story to share. ::grins:: 3 comments|post comment

[01 Jul 2003|10:16pm] [ mood | confused ] Do you remember that girl, Danielle that I spoke about in my last update? She came around the house last week and apologized for what she did to me with her group of friends. But if she thought that I was going to quickly forgive and forget, she was really wrong. I did neither. I more or less simply slammed the door in her face. My birthday passed several weeks ago. It really wasn't the best birthday I've had, but I've had worst. At least I was able to get a special call from my sister and Joel greeting me happy birthday. I ended up going out with a couple of friends the next day and just doing stupid shit that ended up being on the local Florida newspaper the next morning after. ::secret grin:: Mom and dad weren't too happy with me. :\ Mandy, I really need to talk to you. post comment

[07 Jun 2003|12:03pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | Nelly // Thick Girl ] Mandy's home, finally. I heard she was coming but she didn't bother letting us know when so it was pretty surprising to see her sitting at the kitchen table with dad and a crib besides the table. I don't think it really sank in that my older sister had babies until I looked over the edge of the crib and saw the two babies laying there. I recognized the crib, too. It's the same one I used when I was a baby. Dad said all of us kids had used it when we were babies so it was fitting that he let Mandy's own kids use it. It was weird seeing the babies there. I'm not used to thinking of Mandy as Mrs. Madden, and it's just as hard thinking of her as a mom. I guess because she's my sister. She was always the girl that if I got in trouble, she'd be right there with me getting punished because she conspired with me. She was my sister who took the blame alot of the time for things I did. I could never think of her as a mom because to me, I'm always going to see her running down the hall at home screaming at me because I pulled some prank on her like short-sheeting her bed. The last time I saw her, she was still pregnant and now seeing her with the babies, I thought for a moment that maybe she changed. I thought that maybe she forced herself to get serious and be pokerface about everything. But she's exactly the same. I walked into the living room before I left and found her watching cartoons and singing and dancing the words to the theme song of Winnie The Pooh. Yeap. That's my sister. I left the house earlier because a girl from high school, Danielle, called me and asked to hang out. Weird. She never took notice of me before. She's one of those popular girls who only hung out with the people in her "clique". I didn't bother asking what was us, I wasn't even suspicious about it. She asked me to meet her at Denny's to have lunch with me. But when I got there, she wasn't there. So I figured she was just running fasionably late. An hour passed. Then another. And I was being the stupidass who kept telling myself that I can't believe because she might show up just when I leave. I was about to leave and I saw her in her friend's car. The car was filled with her friends and they were all laughing and pointing at me. It was a kick in the gut. I've always known that her and her friends laughed at me when I wasn't around. They make fun of me because I'm not as goodlooking as they are, and they can't believe that I'm related to Mandy because she's real pretty. I'm just the laughingstock of my highschool. I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't make it so obvious, I guess. I have basically no friends because every guy in school only talk to me to try to get me to set them up with Mandy. When she's in town, someone somehow finds out and the guys get friendly with me, asking if they can come over and hang out or something. I don't want to say that having a famous celebrity as a sister is a burden because she's anything but a burden, but it really sucks that because of her status, I don't have any friends and if I even do, it's hard to figure out if they really are. Usually, they end up not being real friends. I don't mind for the most part. I realize that I don't need those sort of people. So I just went home and went to my room. Mandy came out of her room and asked how my date went but I ignored her and walked into my room without talking to anyone. She's been knocking on my door and asking if I'm okay, but I just don't want to talk to her or anybody else. When a guy's pride and ego gets damaged, they just don't want to deal with anyone. ::laughs:: Sorry. 2 comments|post comment

[02 Jun 2003|01:21am] [ mood | content ] Summer vaca. has finally started. Even though school did end last week, nothing really happened until today. I got to talk to Benji. It was kind of my first time talking to him and I didn't know what to say but he did most of the talking then finally told me to start talking because he felt as though he was talking to himself. So I got to talking to him and found everything out about my sister. :: laughs weakly :: I haven't told my parents anything. It's always been a thing between me and Mandy. If we find anything about the other, we keep it to ourselves until the other one says anything. In this case, I'm not sure if Mandy's going to say anything but if she's not saying anything, then I won't either. At this rate, I'm starting to think I might take this to the grave with me. I don't think it's set in yet that someone's been trying to kill my own sister. That's just absurd, I've never heard of anyone taking that much dislike to anybody to the point where they just want to commit murder with no care about the consequences. And it's hard to be in Florida instead of with her and making sure she's okay. I know she's my older sister and everything and usually, she's the one making sure I'm doing okay and being overprotective, but even though I'm younger, I do get protective of her. She's my best friend and I never want to see anything bad happen to her so it throws salt on an open wound that I can't be there right now. Or at least know where this Natalie girl is and just beat the hell out of her. :: sighs :: Okay, I have to think of something happier. Did you all know that last year, I was outside playing basketball with my sister when this guy walked by. I guess he was cute because Mandy turned to stare at him. And I didn't know this. I threw the ball at her and yelled her name because she was going to get hit. That was a big mistake because she turned to look at me and got hit in face with the basketball. The guy laughed and walked away. Mandy ended up with a bloody lip and me with her fist in my stomach. :: grins wickedly :: Goodnight. 1 comment|post comment

[28 May 2003|08:56am] [ mood | worried ] I know I haven't written in here since I first got the journal but school let out just last week and finals week was too stressful for me to worry about this. I hadn't heard from my sister since she left. I miss her since I don't see her too much, I get occasional phone calls. I think she calls to talk to me more than she calls to talk to anybody else in this house. I found out last night from reading Benji's post that she is in the hospital because someone pushed her down the stairs. I don't know if it was intentional, I didn't get all the facts cleared up but I'm really worried about her. I don't understand how anybody can push a pregnant woman down the stairs, especially if she's about to give birth. Mandy if you come around, let me know how you're doing. I haven't told mom and dad yet because I wasn't sure if I should. But let me know so I don't skip thirty years in life and grow white hair at 17 years old, please? Pushing that aside because I don't want to worry myself to fuckin' death, it's a relieve to know that school is done and over with. I'm hoping my sister can come to my graduation next month, it would mean a lot if she was there. Joel too because he's really cool. I got to meet him when we attended their show. And what my sister said isn't true. I wasn't staring at the girls in the front row. :Lying through his teeth: I was staring at.... everyone in the audience. Yea, that's right. Everyone in the audience. I think she snagged a cool guy. Even though, I bug him. He doesn't say anything to me about it. I hear it from Mandy who always tries to beat me off when I come within five feet of him. You'd think I was his stalker or something along that. Yeeeeea. I don't have much else to say. 2 comments|post comment

... [13 May 2003|10:54am] [ mood | accomplished ] By popular demand -- Or not, Kyle is here. And I bet you're sitting there thinking to yourself -- Who the hell is Kyle Moore? That's alright, I wonder that myself sometimes. 6 comments|post comment

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